My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

After listening, Yuihama nodded vigorously, her eyes suddenly sparkling.

"Something that burns Calories easily... that means I'll lose weight, right?"

"...Yes. The Calories needed for breathing and digestion will increase as well, so simply being alive will make you lose weight."

At Yukino's words, Yuihama's eyes shone even brighter. She became more motivated than Totsuka, while Totsuka, spurred on by her enthusiasm, clenched his fists.

"F-Fine, I'll give it a try."

"I-I'll practice with you!"

Totsuka and Yuihama lay down on the floor and slowly began doing Push-ups.

"Mm... huff, huff... hah!"

"Ugh... ngh! Hah~~ hah~~ mmm~~"

They let out the breaths they had been holding, sweat beading on their foreheads as their cheeks flushed red and their faces twisted in pain. Totsuka's slender arms seemed to struggle under the strain, and every so often, he looked to me for help. As he slowly looked up at me from below, I suddenly felt... something strange.

As for Yuihama, whenever she bent her arms, a glimpse of dazzling skin showed from her collar. No, I couldn't stare at her like that.

My heartbeat had been gradually speeding up for a while now. It looked like I might have an arrhythmia.

"Hachiman... this is weird. I feel really calm right now..."

"What a coincidence. Me too."

We occasionally exchanged stupid grins and snuck glances at them when someone spoke from behind us, dumping a bucket of cold water over our heads.

"...Why don't you two work out as well, and work off those desires?"

When I turned around, Yukino was looking at me with pure contempt in her eyes. She had just said "desires." Could it be... she found out?

"R-Right. A warrior's creed is to train constantly. Okay, I'll loosen up too!"

"Y-Yeah, a lack of exercise is scary. You could get diabetes or gout or something. Oh, and cirrhosis too!"

Without another word, we quickly began doing Push-ups. Yukino even deliberately walked around to stand in front of me.

"Looking at that form, is this some new way of kneeling down to beg for mercy?"

She even laughed after saying that.

What did you say? You bastard. If you provoke me like that, even someone as calm as me will awaken in anger! Awaken into what? If I really did awaken, it would probably be some weird fetish like "Push-ups are so cute."

...What the hell were we doing?

Everyone had probably heard sayings like "grains of sand make a tower," or "three cobblers with their wits combined equal Zhuge Liang." They meant that when people gathered together, they could become stronger and more powerful.

But we were just a bunch of useless people gathering together to do useless things.

In the end, I spent the entire lunch break doing Push-ups, then rolled around on the floor in the middle of the night because my muscles were sore.

Yoshiteru Zaimokuza

Yoshiteru Zaimokuza

November 23

Swordsmanship, writing, concentration.

Reading (manga, Light Novels), video games (RPGs, simulation games, Beautiful Girl games), watching anime, surfing the internet.

Holiday Activities

Writing, visiting Akihabara.

Totsuka Saika

Totsuka Saika

May 9

Tennis, puzzles.

Handicrafts.

Holiday Activities

Taking leisurely baths, going for walks.

Graduation Development Survey

Sobu High School, Year 2 Class C

Totsuka Saika

Student Number 20 ○ Male · Female

Please state your creed.

Follow through on my original resolve.

What dream will you write in the graduation yearbook?

Nurse.

What efforts are you making now for the future?

Trying hard to make my behavior and mannerisms more like a boy's.

Teacher's advice:

Please forgive me, but the moment I saw that your dream was to become a caregiver, I imagined you in a nurse's uniform. Also, you said you wanted your behavior and mannerisms to be more like a boy's, but I don't think you need to force yourself. Just be natural.

You should stay the way you are. Please always remain this cute.

Sometimes, Even the God of Rom-Coms Does Good Things

As days filled with one minor incident after another passed by, our tennis training entered its second phase.

That made it sound impressive, but really, we had merely finished the basic drills and finally started practicing with rackets and balls.

Still, Totsuka was the only one actually practicing. Under the guidance of the devilish coach—correction, Yukino—he desperately rallied against the wall.

It couldn't be helped. We couldn't keep up with the Tennis Club members' practice either, so everyone just passed the time however they pleased.

Yukino read beneath the shade of a tree, occasionally glancing over at Totsuka as if she had suddenly remembered him, then cheering him on.

Yuihama had practiced with Totsuka at first, but she got bored before long. Now, she mostly slept beside Yukino, like a dog that had been taken for a walk and collapsed by the drinking fountain in the park from exhaustion.

Meanwhile, Zaimokuza was busy researching his ultimate killer shot. Hey, stop throwing acorns! And quit digging up the court's sand with your racket!

Even when useless people gathered together, they were still useless.

Hm? You mean me?

I was spacing out in the corner of the court, watching ants. It was super interesting.

It really was! I had no idea what those little creatures, constantly bustling about, were thinking. Their lives seemed so narrow. How should I put it? Maybe this was what it felt like to look down at the ground from a skyscraper in Tokyo's business district.

Salarymen in black suits came and went, looking exactly like the worker ants before me.

Someday, I too would become a tiny black dot viewed from atop a tall building, just like those worker ants. What kind of thoughts would I live with then?

I didn't dislike salarymen. I even hoped to become one myself, because it was stable. In the ranking of "jobs you want in the future," salaryman came in second, right behind house husband. Third place was fire truck. Why would anyone want to become a vehicle?

Of course, I understood that being a salaryman wasn't all good. Whenever I saw my dad come home from work with exhaustion from life written all over his face, I couldn't help but admire him. Even when unpleasant things happened, he still obediently went to work. That alone was incredible to me.

So I found myself overlapping the image of the ants with my father and silently cheering them on.

Go, Dad! Don't give up, Dad! Don't go bald!

As I imagined my future, I began worrying about my own hair.

Perhaps my prayers had worked, because one ant began heading toward its nest. Surely, a warm family was waiting for it there.

Thank goodness.

I was so moved that I sniffled and wiped away a tear.

At that moment—

"Dad!"

The ant vanished into the distance along with the ball, leaving not a trace behind.

Fury rising within me, I glared in the direction the ball had come from.

"Hmm, kick up sand to disrupt the opponent, then throw the ball while they're distracted... It seems my magic shot has succeeded. This technique is the Bountiful Magical Land, 'Blassty Sandrock'!"

Zaimokuza, you... you sent my dad—actually, an ant—flying... Well, whatever. It was just an ant. I lightly pressed my palms together and silently recited a Buddhist prayer for it.

Zaimokuza, meanwhile, savored the joy of success. He rested his racket on his shoulder and struck a cool pose, as though he had gained experience points.

Whatever. I didn't care what happened to Zaimokuza or the ants.

...I might as well pass the time watching cute Totsuka.

The person who entered my field of vision was Yuihama, who had apparently woken up at some point. Following Yukino's instructions, she was laboriously pushing a tennis ball cart.

Then, she kept tossing balls onto the court, making Totsuka desperately hit them back one after another.

"Yuihama-san, throw them over there or over there—aim for difficult spots, or the practice won't be effective."

Yukino's voice was calm, while Totsuka, panting heavily, hurried to return balls sent toward the baseline or the net.

Yukino was serious about this. Her personality really was vicious.

...No, I meant she was seriously training Totsuka. Scary. Don't look over here... Why did you know what I was thinking...?

Yuihama casually fed balls with sloppy form, and since she had no accuracy whatsoever, they always flew in unexpected directions. Totsuka ran all over the place to reach them, then fell while trying to return around the twentieth ball.

"Whoa! Saika, are you okay?"

Yuihama stopped feeding balls and ran over to the side of the net. Totsuka gently rubbed his scraped leg and smiled through eyes that were already wet, indicating that he was fine. He really was tough.

"I'm fine. Let's continue."

However, Yukino frowned at that.

"Are you sure you want to continue?"

"Yeah... Everyone is practicing with me, so I want to try a little harder."

"...Is that so? Then, Yuihama-san, I'll leave the rest to you."

After saying that, Yukino turned around and briskly headed toward the school building. Totsuka watched her leave with an uneasy expression and muttered to himself:

"Did I... did I say something wrong and make her angry?"

"No, that's just how she normally is. She hasn't called you 'stupid' or 'moron' yet, so maybe she's actually in a good mood."

"Only you get called that, right?"

Wrong, Yuihama. She said that to you all the time too—you just never noticed.

"Or maybe... I disappointed her. I've practiced for so long, but I haven't improved at all. I can only do five push-ups..."

Totsuka's shoulders slumped as he looked dejectedly at the ground.

Hmm... knowing Yukino, it wasn't impossible. But—

"I don't think so. Yukino wouldn't abandon someone who came to her for help."

Yuihama said this while idly tossing the tennis ball in her hand.

"Yeah, that makes sense. If she could stick with Yuihama while she practiced cooking, there's no way she'd give up on Totsuka, who's still salvageable."

"What do you mean by that?!"

Yuihama hurled the tennis ball in her hand at my head with a loud thunk. Hey, that was a pretty accurate throw. You might even make the cut at the next rookie tryouts.