Chapter 34

TITLE Re5

Abolished approximately 1,900 years ago

Volume 2 ③ Hayama Hayato Always Took the Lead

No time made me more restless than recess.

Freed from the pressure of class, everyone gathered in the classroom and chattered away. They either talked nonsense with close friends, discussed plans for after school, or talked about TV shows they had watched yesterday. To my ears, those conversations sounded like the language of another country, utterly meaningless.

And today, the atmosphere seemed even livelier than usual. It was probably because, during yesterday's homeroom before school let out, everyone had learned they would have to form their own groups for the "Workplace Internship." Group assignments and internship locations wouldn't be decided until the homeroom meeting the day after tomorrow, so what were they in such a hurry for?

Almost every conversation I heard was about "where to intern," rather than "who to go with." It seemed everyone had already formed their own groups.

That was only natural. School was never simply a place for students to study. Put simply, it was a microcosm of society, a miniature version of the entire human world. Just as wars and conflicts occurred in the world, schools had bullying problems. Society had a strong sense of hierarchy, and school was no different. As for democracy, there was no need to mention it—the system of "majority rule" applied perfectly in school. The majority—that is, people with lots of friends—naturally had the loudest voices.

Propping my cheek up with one hand, I watched my classmates through half-lidded eyes. I had gotten plenty of sleep last night and wasn't particularly sleepy now, but this was how I had always spent recess, so my body had developed a conditioned reflex and automatically started getting drowsy.

Then, through my increasingly blurry vision, a little hand suddenly waved back and forth in front of me.

I looked up to see what was going on and found Totsuka Saika sitting at the desk in front of mine.

"Morning."

He smiled softly and gave me the greeting one gave after waking up every day.

"...Make me miso soup every morning, okay?"

"Eh... ehhh? W-what does that mean...?"

"Ah, it's nothing, nothing. I'm still half-asleep."

That was close. I had nearly proposed to him by accident... Damn it, why was this guy so cute? He was a boy, a boy! What a waste! Wait, since he was a boy... would he make me miso soup every morning?

"...What is it?"

"It's nothing. I just thought Hikigaya-kun would be in the classroom... Is now a bad time to talk?"

"No, why would it be? I'd love it if you came to talk to me all day."

I'd prefer it if you spent all day telling me you liked me.

"Then we'd have to be together all the time."

Totsuka covered his mouth as he laughed, apparently finding that amusing. Then he clapped his tiny hands together, as though he had just remembered something.

"Oh, right. Hikigaya-kun, have you decided where you're going for your internship?"

"Well... you could say I have, or you could say I haven't."

He tilted his head and looked up at my face from below, clearly not understanding what I meant. But because of that movement, I accidentally caught a glimpse of his collarbone through the neckline of his gym uniform, and hurriedly looked away. Why was his skin so beautiful? What brand of body wash did he use?

"Ah—anyway, I'm fine with wherever I go. As long as it isn't my own home, everywhere else is the same to me. I mean, equally meaningless."

"Hmm... Hikigaya-kun, you often say such profound things."

I didn't remember saying anything difficult to understand, yet Totsuka nodded repeatedly with an admiring expression. I could practically hear the sound effect of his affection level rising. No, no matter what I said, Totsuka's affection for me would rise. That was actually kind of scary. It felt like I was slowly stepping onto a forbidden path~

"Then... have you decided who you'll be in a group with?"

Totsuka's gaze always carried a hint of hesitation, yet one could still feel a clear resolve within it. That was how he was looking at me now. Why did I feel like his question contained the hidden meaning, "I want to go to the internship with you, but it would be a shame if you've already found a group"?

That question had come far too unexpectedly.

It was so unexpected that the doors of my memory were hit by a powerful shock. The pounding was no less intense than that of a newspaper salesman.

I seemed to remember something similar happening before...

That's right. When I had just entered my second year of middle school and was chosen by lottery to be Class Representative, there had been a cute girl who also volunteered to be Class Representative. Blushing, she had told me, "I look forward to working with you this coming year"...

Aaaah! That was close! Seriously, so close! I had nearly been fooled again by one of those vague, unreadable questions and suffered another severe trauma!

I had already learned my lesson. A well-trained loner would not fall for the same trick twice. Whether it was someone losing rock-paper-scissors and confessing to me as part of a punishment game, or a fake love letter written by a girl and handed to me by a boy, none of that would work on me! I was a battle-hardened veteran! If we were competing at losing, I was definitely the best!

All right, calm down. When faced with a question like this, the safest method was to repeat it like a parrot. That was why the Great ○ Sparrow from Pokémon was a master among loners!

So, I asked Totsuka the same question in return.

"Who have you decided to be in a group with?"

"M-me... I've already decided."

Caught off guard by my question, Totsuka looked a little confused, but he still answered with a blush. Then he lowered his gaze and watched for my reaction from the corner of his eye.

Just as I thought. Totsuka was in the Tennis Club, so he had his own social circle and a place where he belonged, as well as connections extending from there. Thinking about it that way, it was only natural that he had friends in class.

As for me, although I did participate in a club, that club was basically an isolation ward where people unable to adapt to school life were gathered together. There was no way I could make friends there.

"Come to think of it... no, even without thinking about it, I know I don't have any male friends."

"B-but... Hikigaya-kun... I'm a boy..."

Totsuka muttered something quietly, but he was too cute for me to hear it clearly.

Come to think of it, having a conversation with someone in the classroom was itself a very strange experience for me. After helping Totsuka solve the Tennis Club's problem a while ago, we had started casually exchanging a few words whenever we met.

But now a question arose: did this count as being friends?

If all we did was exchange a few brief words, then anyone you knew—or no, even someone you didn't know—could do that. For example, while waiting in line at a ramen shop, you might chat with the person beside you, saying things like, "There sure are a lot of people," or, "It's as crowded as ever today. I surrender." But you wouldn't think of those people as friends, would you?

If they were friends, it should look something like this:

"Hayato, have you decided where you're going for your internship?"

"I'm thinking of interning at a media company or a foreign-owned company~"

"Wow~ You've already set your sights on the future! That's amazing! Though I guess we're about that age now. Lately, I've really come to respect Father."

"So now we have to get serious~"

"Wow~~ But wouldn't it be a shame to lose your youthful spirit?"

That was probably the feeling. If you could make a whole bunch of utterly meaningless chatter sound incredibly youthful, you could probably call that friendship. If it were me, I'd definitely start laughing halfway through, so there was no way I could do it. Respect Father? Are you some kind of J-RAP artist? (Note 15: The Japanese hip-hop scene often uses the word "respect.")

As usual, Hayama Hayato wore that universally beloved smile while surrounded by three boys.

Everyone casually called him "Hayato," and he warmly addressed them by their names in return. It really was a scene perfectly suited to the word "friends."

However, from my perspective, they only called each other by name so they could feel like they had friendship. These days, everyone in dramas, anime, and manga called each other by their given names, so weren't they just copying what they saw? Did that really make people closer?

...Well, I might as well try it. Everything was an experience, after all. I stood upright and walked straight; I would never criticize a manga I hadn't read for being bad. But if I flipped through it and thought it sucked, I wouldn't hold back.

Experiment name: Would calling someone by their given name change Interpersonal Relationships?

"Saika."

"..."

When Totsuka heard me call his name, he froze completely. He blinked two or three times, even opening his mouth in surprise.

See? Our relationship hadn't improved at all. If someone suddenly called you by your given name, anyone would be annoyed. If Zaimokuza suddenly called me "Hachiman," I'd ignore him too. In short, those Normies (lol) only did it to deceive themselves, hide their dissatisfaction, and create the illusion that everyone got along.

So I should hurry up and apologize to Totsuka.

"Ah, sorry, that just now was—"

"...I'm so happy. That's the first time you've called me by my name."

"What!"

Totsuka smiled, his eyes even a little moist. Hey, this was a joke, right? Was my real life about to start becoming fulfilling too? Normies (respect) were amazing~ They really made me see them in a new light!

"Then..."

This time, Totsuka spoke up. Looking up at me, he said:

"C-can I also... call you 'shut-in'?"

"No."

Why did it have to be that nickname? It gave people an extremely bad impression. Fortunately, only one person called me that right now. If there were another, I'd have a serious headache on my hands.

After I flatly refused, Totsuka looked a little disappointed. Then he cleared his throat and tried again.

"Then... Hachiman?"

...I experienced exactly what it meant for your heart to clench.

"A-again, three more times!"

At my bizarre request, Totsuka gave me an ambiguous smile, apparently unsure what to do. But even the way he hesitated was so cute that I was the one who didn't know what to do.

"...Hachiman." The first time, he said it shyly while watching my reaction.

"Hachiman?" Next, he tilted his head in confusion.

"Hachiman! Are you listening?" This time, he puffed out his cheeks, looking a little sulky.

Only when I saw him looking unhappy did I suddenly come to my senses. No, no, he was way too cute. I'd gotten so absorbed in watching him that I lost track of myself.

"Ah, sorry, what were you saying just now?"

I'd been spacing out, so I could only try to muddle through like that. At the same time, I recorded today's experimental results in my head.

Conclusion: Calling Totsuka by his given name made him incredibly cute.

As the clamor from the athletic field gradually faded, the sunset began to shine into our clubroom. The sun sinking into Tokyo Bay cast its final rays, melting away the night that had gathered on the distant horizon.

"Hm... Is the hour of darkness approaching...?"

As he muttered, the boy clenched his fist, his synthetic leather fingerless glove making a squeezing sound. He stared at the one-kilogram wrist weight peeking slightly out from his sleeve, then let out a breath.

"Looks like... I must lift the seal..."

Not one person there paid him any attention.

There were three people here, you know...

Yoshiteru Zaimokuza had been glancing at us for a while, hoping for some sort of response. But Yukino Yukinoshita completely ignored him and continued reading her book, while Yuihama Yui had no idea how to handle him and shot pleading looks at Yukinoshita and me.

"Zaimokuza... do you need something?"

The moment I spoke, Yukinoshita let out a heavy sigh and glared at me. Her expression seemed to say, "Wouldn't it be better to just ignore him?"

But it couldn't be helped.

Of course I didn't want to deal with him either, but this had already been going on for thirty minutes! Wasn't this just like the king in Reignwood from Dragon Quest V? If we didn't say something soon, he'd haunt us forever just like that.

When I asked him, Zaimokuza happily rubbed his nose and let out a "heh heh heh." So gross.

"Oh, my apologies. I suddenly thought of a great line. I was probably trying to confirm the wording and rhythm, and it just slipped out. Ah, my writer's spirit truly runs in my bones. Whether asleep or awake, I'm always thinking about my novel. It seems I'm destined to become a writer!"

Zaimokuza was all talk, leaving Yuihama and me exchanging helpless looks. When Yukino snapped her book shut, he jerked in fright.

"A writer needs to create something for others to read... May I ask what you've created?"

"Ugh, ngh!"

His upper body leaned back, as though something had lodged in his throat. That reaction was unbearable to watch. Still, he was unusually resilient today. Before long, he recovered, deliberately cleared his throat a few times, and spoke.

"Ahem~ You can only say that now. I've obtained a map to El Dorado!"

"What? Did you win an award?"

"N-Not yet... But once I finish my work, winning an award will only be a matter of time!"

For some reason, he proudly puffed out his chest. Hmm... Was there anything in what he'd just said to be proud of? If he could say that, then I could casually make a game with RPG Maker and change the history of Japanese gaming.

Zaimokuza flung open his coat and shouted again.

"Fuhahaha! Go ahead and be amazed! For this Workplace Internship, I've decided to go to a publishing house! So, you understand now, right?"

"No, I don't understand at all."

"Hachiman, you're so slow. This means I'll gain connections, and my talent will finally be discovered!"

"You're imagining things way too optimistically... You're worse than a chuuni bragging that he's friends with some delinquent senpai."

But Zaimokuza didn't listen. He merely stared elsewhere with a foolish grin, muttering things like, "The studio will be... the voice actors should be..." He was seriously unpleasant to look at.

Besides, even among publishing houses, there were huge differences in quality. If he truly believed this would guarantee him a bright future, there was nothing more I could say.

Still, judging by what he said, something seemed strange.