My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"Looks like someone accepted your proposal this time, Zaimokuza."

"What? You make me sound worse than a louse... Ah, whatever. The two people paired with me this time just happened to both be otaku. Before I even said anything, they happily decided to intern at a publishing house. They must be one of those trendy BL couples, right? Even someone like me was powerless before the strength of love, so I quietly refrained from disturbing them."

"Isn't it nice to make friends with your own kind...?"

Yuihama-san spoke on her own, not looking at Zaimokuza even once. Still, I didn't think that approach would work. Precisely because their interests were so similar, they would be prone to refusing to give in to each other. It would probably be like a religious war.

"But~ a Workplace Internship..."

Yuihama-san murmured the phrase again with a sigh, constantly glancing at me before quickly looking elsewhere. Her gaze darted around like a swimmer, and when she finally seemed ready to ask me something, her cheeks looked a little red. Could she have caught a cold?

"...Shut-in, where are you going to intern?"

"My own house."

"Ah, that's not an option anymore."

She waved a hand, telling me that I could no longer choose my own home.

It wasn't time to give up yet... That was what I thought, but I didn't want Hiratsuka-sensei to beat me up again, so I had indeed given up. And since I had given up, my turn was over.

"Hmm... Then I'll just go wherever the people in my group want to go."

"What? You're really leaving the decision entirely to someone else?"

"Well, it's always been like that. I only ever get shoved into some group at the very last minute, so I don't have any right to speak."

"I see... Okay, sorry."

Yuihama-san was as accurate as ever at stepping on my sore spots... I bet she would blow up in no time if she played Minesweeper.

Come to think of it, groups of three were actually more terrifying than pairs. If you were told to form pairs, both sides could at least resign themselves to accepting each other in silence. But with a group of three, there was always the chance that two of them would be close friends and chat endlessly. At times like that, the feeling of being excluded reached its peak.

"So you still haven't decided where to intern..."

Yuihama-san muttered as she fell into thought.

"Then, Yuihama-san, have you decided where you want to go?"

"Yeah, somewhere close by."

"Your thinking is pretty similar to Hikigaya-kun's..."

"Hey, don't lump me in with her! I chose my own house based on lofty ideals! More importantly, where are you planning to go? A police station? A courthouse? Or prison?"

"None of those... Though now I understand exactly what kind of image you have of me."

Yukino let out a cold little "Heh heh heh" with an icy smile. Didn't I tell her? That laugh was seriously terrifying!

Actually, I had only suggested a few possibilities based on Yukino's intellectual side, but apparently they hadn't suited her tastes. Strange. It wasn't like I had called her cold, cruel, vicious, and sharp-tongued, so why was she making such an eerie laugh?

"As for me... I'll probably join a think tank or do research, so I'll choose from among those."

She only gave a broad direction, so perhaps she had not decided yet either. Still, either option was easy to associate with her calm and serious personality.

Just then, someone tugged at the hem of my jacket from behind. Who was it? Oh, Yuihama-san. For a moment, I thought it was some little fairy that specialized in tugging on people's sleeves.

Yuihama-san leaned her face close, her lips nearly touching my ear. That fragrance coming from her was such a waste; her glossy hair brushed against my neck too, making goosebumps rise all over me.

It was my first time being this close to Yuihama-san. All the blood in my body rushed desperately toward my heart, and it was seriously annoying!

"Sh-shut-in..."

Her sweet breath and whisper, as though she were afraid someone might hear, tickled my ears. We were close enough now to feel each other's breath and hear each other's heartbeats. Could it be... this violent pounding in my chest...

"What's a 'zhì kù'? A tank company?"

She pronounced "think tank" exactly like an old granny would.

Apparently, my heart had only been pounding so violently because of an arrhythmia.

"Yuihama-san..."

Yukino sighed with an expression of surrender and pulled Yuihama-san away from me.

"A think tank is..."

Yuihama-san listened earnestly as Yukino explained, occasionally making little "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm" noises. Before long, the two of them had gradually shifted into lesson mode.

I glanced at them from the corner of my eye, then returned to the important task of reading shoujo manga.

By the time Yukino finally finished explaining what think tanks were and the related information, fifteen minutes had passed.

The sun was nearly level with the horizon, and from the fourth-floor clubroom, we could clearly see the glittering sea. Looking down, I could see the Baseball Club tidying up the field, the Soccer Club carrying goalposts, and the track team putting away hurdles and mats.

Club activities were more or less wrapping up. I looked at the clock in the clubroom, and Yukino closed her book at the same time. Incidentally, whenever Yukino made any movement, Zaimokuza would get startled. What a coward.

I wasn't sure when this habit had started, but whenever Yukino closed her book, it meant club activities were about to end. Yuihama-san and I quickly packed up, preparing to go home.

In the end, aside from Zaimokuza, whom we wished would stop showing up, not a single person had come to consult us today. Maybe I'd go get a bowl of ramen before heading home...

Speaking of dinner, Houraiken would probably be a good choice. The place served Niigata ramen, and its light, refreshing clear broth was simply exquisite. Zaimokuza had introduced me to that shop.

Ah, damn it, I was practically drooling already.

Just then, a light, rhythmic knock came from outside the door.

"At this hour..."

Thinking of how my happiest ramen time had been interrupted, I glared at the clock irritably.

I asked Yukino with my eyes what we should do. If this were my own home, I would definitely pretend no one was there.

"Come in."

But Yukino did not even glance at me before answering the door directly. Whoever had come knocking really had no sense of timing, but when it came to having no sense of timing, Yukino was no slouch either—she might even have been better at it.

"Excuse me."

Judging from the voice, the visitor sounded quite relaxed.

Who the hell was it, making me miss out on ramen...? I shot a resentful glare toward the door, only to find, unexpectedly, someone who absolutely should not have been allowed to appear here.

This guy was handsome. So handsome that if I did not call him handsome, I honestly would not know what other word to use.

His brown hair had probably been lightly permed, and his gaze behind his fashionable glasses was remarkably straightforward. When our eyes met, he naturally smiled, and I reflexively returned it with a fawning smile.

He was the kind of handsome guy who made me instinctively concede defeat.

"Sorry for coming to see you so late. I have something I'd like to ask of you."

He set his UMBRO sports bag on the floor, asked, "Is it okay if I sit here?" then naturally pulled out the chair in front of Yukino and sat down. Every movement he made looked stylish.

"Sorry. Club activities were so busy I couldn't get away, and since we have to suspend activities before exams, everyone insisted on finishing today's training schedule. I'm really sorry."

Important people were probably just like that. If it were me, nobody would stop me from going home; more accurately, nobody would even notice. See? I was suited to being a ninja!

Still, although he said club activities had kept him busy, I could not smell even the slightest trace of sweat. Instead, he gave off a refreshing citrus scent.

"Thank you for introducing yourself."

The handsome guy had said a whole lot, but Yukino immediately dumped a bucket of cold water over him. Maybe it was just my imagination, but Yukino seemed especially prickly today.

"You came here because you have something to ask, didn't you, Hayama Hayato?"

However, Hayama Hayato did not lose his smile in response to Yukino's coldness.

"Yeah, this is the Service Club, right? Hiratsuka-sensei told me that if I had any worries, I could ask the Service Club for help, so I came here."

Whenever he spoke, a cool breeze somehow drifted in through the window. Was this guy the heir to the wind?

"I'm sorry for coming so late. If you already have other plans, I can come back another time."

At that, Yuihama immediately put on a social smile I had not seen in a while. It seemed she had not yet shaken off her habitual way of treating the upper class.

"Oh, Hayato-kun, you really don't need to worry about us~ You're the future president of the Soccer Club, so it can't be helped if practice runs this late~"

But Yuihama was probably the only one who felt that way. Yukino was now like a hedgehog, while Zaimokuza sat there silently with a twisted expression.

"No, that would be unfair to Zaimokuza-kun too."

"Uh, uh... n-no, don't mind me. I, um... I was just leaving..."

Yet after Hayama said just that one thing to him, all of Zaimokuza's hostility instantly vanished, and he even looked as though he were the one at fault.

"Cough, cough, cough, cough! H-Hachiman, I'm heading out first!"

With that, he really did leave the clubroom. He had fled with his tail between his legs, yet there seemed to be a smile on his face... Still, Zaimokuza, I understood exactly how you felt.

It was truly a paradox. When people like us at the bottom of the school hierarchy encountered those at the top, we automatically yielded to them. If we met them in the hallway, we would absolutely let them pass first; when talking to them, we would stumble over our words nine times out of ten. But if you asked whether our jealousy or disgust toward them kept deepening, it was not really like that. If one day they happened to remember our names, we would be happy instead.

Just knowing that Hayama, who stood so high above me, knew my name and recognized me as a person was enough to restore my dignity.

"Sorry for keeping you so late too, Hikigaya-kun."

"...No, it's fine."

Why did you only get my name wrong?! My dignity was disappearing again!

"Forget that. Didn't you come here because you had something to ask?"

It was absolutely not because Hayama got my name wrong that I hurried him into getting to the point... Really! Besides, I was somewhat curious what worries Hayama could possibly have. It was honestly incredible to me that a man sitting securely at the very top of the school hierarchy could have worries too. Let me make this clear in advance: I swore I had not the slightest despicable intention of seizing on his weakness or using those worries as leverage against him.

"Oh, right..."

Hayama took out his phone, quickly pressed a few buttons to open his inbox, then showed me the screen.

Yukino and Yuihama leaned over to get a closer look as well, so the three of us crowded around the palm-sized screen. A pleasant fragrance drifted over from beside me, leaving me at a loss over what to do.

After I made room for them, Yuihama immediately let out an "Ah..."

"What is it?"

When I asked, she took out her own phone and showed me the email's contents. It turned out she had received the exact same message as Hayama.

They could truly be called emails from an unknown source, and there was more than one. Every time Yuihama pressed a button, more similar messages appeared below, like hatred gathering into physical form.

Every email slandered and insulted a specific person, and they had been sent from different locations. It seemed the sender was using disposable email accounts.

"Tobe is a member of a delinquent gang in Inage. He caused trouble for West High at an arcade."

"Yamato is juggling three girls at once. He's complete trash."

"Ooka played rough in a practice match to seriously injure the opposing school's star player."

In short, every message was like that, and their truthfulness was unknown. Aside from the largest batch sent from disposable accounts, there were also some emails that appeared to have been forwarded by classmates.

"Hey, this..."

Yuihama nodded silently.

"Didn't I mention it before? This is the letter that's been going around the class..."

"A chain letter, right?"

Yukino, who had remained silent the entire time, finally spoke.

As the name suggested, chain letters were passed around from person to person over and over, as though everyone were bound together by a chain. These letters usually ended with demands such as, "Please send this to five other people," much like the "letters that bring misfortune" that had once been popular—threatening people with things like, "If you don't pass this on to five people within three days, you will suffer misfortune." If you imagined one of those as a mobile email version, you would be pretty close.

Hayama read the letter once more, then gave a wry smile.

"After these started spreading, the atmosphere in class became really strange. And seeing my friends written about like that made me angry too."

His expression at that moment resembled Yuihama's from earlier. Both of them looked like they were at their breaking point because of an anonymous malicious letter.

The most terrifying thing in the world was malice whose culprit could not be found. If someone cursed you out to your face, you could punch them a few times, or curse them back to vent your resentment. Failing that, you could keep that resentment inside and sublimate the pressure into something else. Negative emotions contained tremendous energy, so they could always be converted into positive results.

But hatred, jealousy, and the desire for revenge all needed an outlet. Otherwise, they were nothing more than a tangled mass of emotions.

"I want to stop these letters from spreading any further. They're really not pleasant to read."

After Hayama said that, he immediately added, "Ah, but I don't want to find out who did it. I just want this matter to come to a peaceful conclusion. Could I ask you to help?"

There it was! His ultimate move, Saint Zone.

Let me explain. Saint Zone was a special skill possessed only by true Normies, and its greatest feature was its ability to calm everyone down.

True Normies differed from those carefree Normies who only fooled around, acted stupid, and thought of nothing but having fun. They were people who genuinely lived fulfilling lives. Therefore, not only did they never look down on anyone, they were also kind to people who were always looked down on. The standard for distinguishing these two kinds of Normies was whether or not they were kind to Hachiman Hikigaya. I sincerely believed Hayama was a great guy, because he would actually come up and talk to me! Though he always got my name wrong.

Anyway, Saint Zone was the unique aura naturally radiated by a nice guy with charisma. Put nicely, it meant he was a gentle fellow who knew how to read the room; in more ordinary terms, he was a carefree sort; put harshly, he was a useless piece of trash. But I really did think Hayama was a good person.

Yukino thought for a moment in front of this wielder of special powers before speaking.

"In other words, we only need to resolve this matter, correct?"