My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"...Is that so?"

Hearing Yuihama say that, Yukino turned her face away. Whether it was the setting sun or embarrassment, a blush spread across her cheeks.

But I offered to help too. Why is her reaction to Yuihama so different from her reaction to me?

Hayama looked at the two girls and gave a bright, dazzling smile.

"You two get along so well."

"Hm? Yeah, they get along really well."

"Hikigaya-kun too, you know."

What is this guy talking about... And, there's no one named Hikigaya in our club.

× × ×

The next day, Yuihama entered battle mode.

During lunch that day, I didn't go to my usual spot but stayed in the classroom to eat the bread and SPORTOP I'd bought beforehand. That's when Yuihama came to me for a sand table exercise.

"Anyway, I'll try to ask around as much as possible... S-so, shut-in, you don't have to push yourself at all. Actually, you don't need to do anything!"

"Oh, really? That does make things a lot easier for me. But you're really motivated..."

I couldn't help but flinch back.

"W-well, obviously! B-because it's Yukino's request!"

"I-is that so..."

She's willing to go this far for Yukino? I flinched back even further. I had a vague, ominous feeling that she was radiating an aura of "wasted effort" that would surely come to nothing.

"It's good that you're motivated, but what's your plan?"

"Hmm... I'll start by asking the girls. Girls know more about the relationships between classmates. Plus, if you talk about someone everyone dislikes, they'll get excited and start talking non-stop."

"Girl talk is scary."

"The enemy of my enemy is my ally." What a brilliant strategy...

"It's not that dark! It's more like venting, or maybe exchanging information?"

"Everyone interprets things differently."

"Either way, you're not good at this, are you? So leave it to me, you don't need to worry about it."

She was absolutely right. Honestly, I wasn't suited for talking to people to gather information. The moment I opened my mouth, they'd probably become wary. I wouldn't even need to ask questions; they'd ask me, "Who are you?"

Thinking about it from that perspective, Yuihama's position in the class was perfect, and she was good at interacting with people. She'd probably honed her skill of reading people's expressions since childhood, and it was finally paying off.

"That makes sense... Sorry, I'll leave it to you. Do your best."

"Yeah!"

After cheering herself on, she approached Miura's group, who were close with Hayama's group.

"Sorry to keep you waiting~"

"Ah, Yui, you're late~"

The girls, led by Miura, responded lazily.

"By the way, lately Tobe, Ogata, and Yamato have been acting a bit strange~ Don't you think there's something wrong?"

Pfft! Yuihama's words reached my ears, and I almost spat out my tea.

That was a super direct hit! A bullet with a speed of 160 km/h! If this were "Jikkyou Powerful Pro Baseball," the pitch speed would definitely be S-rank, but the control would be F-rank.

"Eh... Yui, I don't remember you being the type to say things like that..."

The first one to step back was, if I recall correctly, Ebina.

Then, Miura's eyes lit up, preparing to strike a vital point.

"Hey, Yui~ That's not very nice, is it? Gossiping about 'friends' isn't a good thing~"

With that righteous statement, she put herself in an unassailable position.

As a result, Yuihama was now in danger of being ostracized. What is she thinking!

However, Yuihama desperately tried to cover up.

"N-no, it's not like that! How should I put it? I'm just a little concerned..."

"What, do you like someone among them?"

"Not at all! It's true that there's someone I'm concerned about... but they have a personality like... Ah!"

Yuihama's expression instantly turned to one of "Oh no." At the same time, a smile spread across Miura's face.

"Oh? Yui, do you have someone you like? Tell us, we'll definitely help you!"

"I-I told you that's not what I meant! What I'm concerned about is the relationship between those three, right? I really think they've been acting a bit strange lately."

"Oh, that's what you were talking about? How boring~"

Miura's interest vanished instantly, and she picked up her phone to play with it.

But Ebina did take the bait.

"I understand... so Yuihama thinks that too... Actually, I..."

"Exactly! Don't you think their atmosphere has been awkward lately?"

"That's what I thought..."

Ebina put on a serious expression and sighed, saying:

"From my perspective, there's definitely a love triangle between them! Tobe is definitely the bottom! Then Hayama is the dominant top, and Ooka is the seductive bottom!"

"Ah~ I get it, I get it... Huh?"

"But, but, their targets are definitely all Hayato! Mmmph! This feeling of everyone taking a step back for a friend is so moving!"

Wait, is this for real? So Ebina has that kind of hobby? She's even got a nosebleed.

Yuihama let out a confused whimper, while Miura was probably used to it and just sighed.

"Ebina's acting up again. You're cute when you're quiet. Just pretend for a bit, and wipe your nosebleed."

"Ah, ahaha..."

Yuihama, intimidated by Ebina's intensity, could only laugh it off. Then she noticed me watching and secretly raised her hand, giving me a "Sorry, failed" signal.

...No choice. She was already off track from the start. Even if Ebina wasn't here, I probably wouldn't have gotten anything useful.

In that case, I'll have to step in myself.

That said, I can't exactly go around asking classmates for information.

So, what method should I use to gather intel?

The answer is actually simple: just observe carefully with my eyes. Since I can't talk to people... no, it's precisely because I can't talk to people that I need to gather information in other ways.

They say that only thirty percent of information in human communication comes from spoken words, while the other seventy percent is conveyed through subtle movements like eye movements. The phrase "eyes carry as much weight as the mouth" illustrates the importance of communication beyond language. So, if we flip that around, it means a lone wolf who doesn't talk to others can achieve about seventy percent of communication... Hmm, that doesn't seem right, does it? It's definitely wrong.

So, let me introduce another one of my eighteen skills: "Human Observation." Other skills include "Shooting," and so on. Am I secretly some kind of superhero?

The steps for observing humans are very simple.

First, put on headphones, but don't play music. Instead, listen carefully to what people around you are saying.

Then, pretend to be spaced out and carefully observe the expressions of everyone in Hayama's group.

That's it.

Hayama and his group were sitting by the window, with Hayama leaning against the wall, and Tobe, Yamato, and Ooka gathered around him.

Just from that formation, you could tell at a glance that Hayama held a leadership position in the group. Occupying the most stable spot against the wall was indeed the stance of a king. They might not be aware of it, but precisely because they aren't aware, it's an instinctive behavior.

Those three each played different roles.

"Yeah, lately when we practice defense, the coach keeps hitting baseballs into the Rugby Club, it's totally messed up~ Those are hardballs, you know~"

"...Which is why our advisor is really annoyed."

"I think it's hilarious~ But your Rugby Club is lucky. The Soccer Club is the real victim. An outfield fly ball just comes soaring over! It's awful! We're going crazy!"

Ooka threw out a topic, Yamato responded, and Tobe hyped up the crowd – it was like a meticulously rehearsed play. Shakespeare once said, "All the world's a stage," and in my opinion, all men and women are merely playing their roles well.

As for the director and audience of this stage – Hayama – he would occasionally laugh along with them, offer a topic, or join in the cheers.

As I watched, I noticed quite a few small details.

Ah, he subtly clicked his tongue.

He suddenly fell silent when the guy next to him started talking.

He listlessly played with his phone, probably unable to join their conversation.

Whenever a slightly vulgar joke was told, he'd flash a strange smile. He's definitely still a virgin... The above data is from me.

Why is it that when a topic suddenly turns vulgar, people become flustered, and then a beat later proudly boast, "I really don't have much of a sex drive lately~"?

...Why am I only getting completely unimportant information?

It seems there's no progress on this front either, and I couldn't help but sigh.

"Excuse me, I'm going to step away for a moment."

At that moment, Hayama stood up and walked towards me. I must have been staring too intently, and he noticed. Is he going to provoke me with "What are you looking at? What school are you from?" I'm so nervous~

"...What is it?"

My heart pounding, I spoke to Hayama, who stood beside me. But he wasn't angry, nor did he grab me by the collar or threaten me for money. Instead, he laughed heartily:

"No, I was just curious if you noticed anything."

"No..."

If I had to say what I noticed, it was that Ebina is a fujoshi and Ooka is a virgin.

Speaking of Ooka, I turned to look at the three of them and noticed a slight, unexpected change.

They were all lazily playing on their phones, and from time to time, they would steal glances at Hayama.

In that instant, the truth became clear. A light flashed in my mind, as if I'd been shot in the neck by a tranquilizer dart from a watch-shaped gun.

"What's going on?"

Hayama asked me, confused, and I responded with a smile.

"The mystery... it's all solved!"

To hear my deduction, we'll need a commercial break first. We'll be right back after this.

× × ×

After school, Yukino, Yuihama, Hayama, and I gathered in the club room.

"What were your findings?"

Yukino asked first.

Yuihama let out a dry "Hahaha~" and then honestly lowered her head to apologize.

"I'm so sorry! I asked the girls, but I couldn't get any information at all!"

However, that was unavoidable. After that, Ebina desperately filled her head with irrelevant things about seme, uke, and pairings, making it impossible for her to continue her investigation.

Yuihama looked up slightly and observed Yukino's expression, finding that she didn't seem angry.

"I see. It's fine."

"Huh? It's fine?"

"Conversely, this means the girls aren't interested in this matter and aren't involved. In that case, it represents a problem with you boys, Hayama-kun. You worked hard, Yuihama-san."

"Y-Yukino..."

Yuihama's eyes welled up with tears, and she was about to rush towards Yukino, but Yukino dodged her, causing Yuihama to hit her head against the wall with a "thud."

Seeing Yuihama look like she was about to cry, Yukino reluctantly patted her forehead and then looked at me.

"So, did you find anything?"

"Sorry, I didn't find any clues left by the culprit."