My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"Brother, your eyes are so scary..."

Komachi flinched back a bit. It seemed my gaze was a little too intense. Well, what could I do? She was my silly little sister. If I didn't keep a close eye on her, who knew what might happen. As her family, it was only natural to worry about her. What if some weirdo snatched her away? That would be a disaster! I, her brother, wouldn't allow that!

"Anyway, just tell me what's bothering you. Didn't I mention I joined this weird club called the 'Service Club'? Maybe I can help with something."

After I said that, Komachi chuckled.

"Brother, you're so serious!"

× × ×

Dawn broke. The chirping of sparrows could be heard from outside, signaling the end of the night spent with my sister.

I suddenly opened my eyes and saw an unfamiliar ceiling—no, it was the ceiling of my own living room. It seemed I had fallen asleep while studying last night. All I remembered was asking Komachi about her friends, and then my memory was a complete blank.

"It's morning, Komachi."

I called out, then noticed my sister wasn't there. I scanned the room, taking two seconds to look for her, then looked out the window, taking three seconds to confirm the sun was already high in the sky. Finally, with a cold sweat and a bad feeling, I looked at the clock—9:30. No matter how I looked, the hour hand was pointing to 9:30. This confirmation process took another five seconds.

I spent a total of ten seconds confronting this shocking reality.

"Super late..."

I slumped my head in dejection and then noticed a ham and egg toast and a note on the table.

"Brother, Komachi didn't want to be late, so she went to school first. There's a limit to pulling all-nighters!

P.S. Eat your breakfast properly!"

Below it was a drawing of a girl giving me a fierce glare. This was probably Komachi's self-portrait.

"Idiot... Do you think you're a security guard...?"

The postscript should have been "P.S.", not "SP". And "P.S." is pronounced "Play Station."

In any case, there was no use rushing now. I leisurely enjoyed my breakfast and then prepared to head to school. My parents seemed to have left for work early too. We were a dual-income household, so someone was always up and about early in the morning. My mother made breakfast, and Komachi was almost always responsible for dinner.

Still, no one woke me up this morning. Could it be that they didn't like me...? Though I worried about that, I had to believe they decided to let me sleep in out of kindness.

I put the empty plate in the sink, changed into my uniform, made sure the door was locked, and then set off for school.

My bicycle glided along the road built along the riverbank, the cumulonimbus clouds in the sky eagerly stretching their bodies.

The road to school was unusually calm today.

Normally, this bike path would turn into a street racing ground between Sobu High School and other schools.

It was exhilarating when the racers shouted, "Go! Charge!" and overtook others. At times like these, if someone yelled back, "Don't lose! Sonic!" it would be even more electrifying (Note 22: Refers to the names of the four-wheel drive cars used by the brothers Go and Max in the manga Dash! Yonkuro).

However, today the road was filled with aunties trying to lose weight, uncles walking their dogs, and a few anglers. It wasn't bad to have a change of scenery once in a while.

Actually, the thought of riding my bicycle under the blue sky made me feel quite cheerful. It was like skipping class to watch "Waratte Iitomo!" (Note 23: A Japanese Fuji TV program that began airing in 1982, broadcast weekdays from 12:00 PM to 1:00 PM). It made things about 50% more enjoyable than usual.

But why did I suddenly feel depressed as I neared the school...

That said, I entered the school gate openly, not sneakily. That's right, because at this hour, all the teachers were in class, so no one would discover my lateness and fly into a rage. That worry was unnecessary. This was something I learned from being late seventy-two times last year. Today was my eighth time being late this year. If I continued at this pace, I might even break my record. I hoped to achieve a goal of 200 wins within my three years of high school.

Everything went smoothly until I entered the school gate, but the next hurdle—the classroom—was the real problem.

After parking my bicycle, I slowly walked towards the stairs. As soon as I entered the school building, the pressure intensified. Was this Vegeta's Planet (Note 24: From the manga Dragon Ball, Vegeta's Planet has ten times the gravity of Earth.)?

I climbed the stairs to the second floor, walked down the empty corridor, and finally arrived in front of my classroom. I took a deep breath at the doorway before placing my hand on the doorknob. The tense moment had arrived.

—Click.

Dozens of eyes silently turned towards me. The classroom fell silent. The hushed conversations of my classmates and the teacher's voice from the front of the room all disappeared.

It wasn't that I disliked being late; I disliked this atmosphere.

For example, if Hayama were late today, how would everyone react?

"Hey, Hayato~ Why are you late?"

"Hayama-kun, you're too slow!"

"Hahaha, Hayama, you're just hopeless."

I knew without a doubt that it would be like this.

But if it were me, everyone would just stay silent, and some might even give me a look that said, "Who are you?" I dragged my heavy feet into the silent classroom and sat down at my seat, an overwhelming sense of fatigue washing over me.

Sigh... I couldn't help but sigh, and then someone delivered the final blow.

"Hachiman, come see me after class."

Hiratsuka-sensei said, tapping the lectern.

"Yes..."

...This is just terrible.

I nodded with my head down. The teacher gave a slight nod, then, adjusting her white robe, turned back to the blackboard and continued writing.

Speaking of which, there were only fifteen minutes left until the end of class.

The time before the bell rang mercilessly flew by. I put aside what the teacher was lecturing about and began brainstorming "The Hundred Best Excuses for Being Late." But halfway through, the dismissal bell rang.

"Alright, that's all for today. Hachiman, remember to come see me."

Hiratsuka-sensei waved at me. I barely suppressed the urge to flee and walked towards the lectern at the front of the classroom.

When I reached the lectern, the teacher glared at me.

"Alright, before I lay into you, let's hear your reason for being late."

She'd already decided to beat me up!

"No, Teacher, you've misunderstood. Please hear my explanation first. Don't big bosses always come into their offices late? So, as an elite of the future, I should start practicing now."

"Weren't you going to be a house husband?"

"Ngh! Th-that is... Thinking of lateness as a sin is fundamentally wrong! Isn't it? The police only act after something happens, and heroes always show up at the last minute. They're all late! But does anyone blame them? No! So we can deduce that lateness is justice!"

After hearing the cry from the depths of my soul, the teacher's gaze inexplicably drifted into the distance.

"...Hachiman, I'll tell you something: justice without power is no different from evil."

"J-justice without power is even more ev... Wait! Don't hit me!"

Evil is to be cut down! Hiratsuka-sensei's fist landed squarely in my gut, causing damage that spread throughout my body. I collapsed on the spot, coughing uncontrollably.

Hiratsuka-sensei looked at me, writhing in agony on the ground, and sighed helplessly.

"I can't stand it... Why are there so many problem students in this class..."

However, her tone wasn't one of disgust, but rather a sense of pleasure.

"Here comes another one."

The teacher left me where I was and walked towards the back door of the classroom in her high heels. I turned my body in that direction and saw a girl with a backpack, just arriving for class.

"Saki Kawasaki, are you a big boss too?"

The teacher asked with a smile, but the girl named Kawasaki merely paused, bowed silently to her, and then walked past me towards her seat.

The girl's hair was black with a hint of blue, and its length was almost equal to her height. The excess fabric at the hem of her clothes was tied in a loose knot. Her slender legs appeared agile, and her eyes seemed to gaze into the distance without much vitality. Then, beneath her skirt, she wore black embroidered lace panties, as exquisite as if crafted by a master artisan.

I felt like I had seen this girl somewhere before... Then again, we're in the same class, so it's only natural that she looks familiar, right?

If I continued lying on the ground and was suspected of peeping at a girl's underwear, it would be troublesome, so I immediately got up.

At that moment, something suddenly came to mind.

"...Black lace?"

The next moment, the doubt lingering in my mind was answered.

An image I had seen not long ago flashed through my mind. It was the girl I had met on the rooftop that day, who had inexplicably called me a "moron." So we're in the same class?

Just as I was about to reconfirm with Saki Kawasaki herself, Kawasaki, who had been heading to her seat, stopped and gently turned her head to look at me.

"...Are you an idiot?"

She only said that. She didn't kick me, punch me, or blush with shame or anger. Her expression was completely indifferent and uninteresting.

If Yukino Yukinoshita was described as cold, Saki Kawasaki was chilling. Dry ice and ice cubes are different, after all; touching Yukino can cause frostbite.

Kawasaki gave an exasperated look, pushed her hair up, and truly headed towards her seat this time. She pulled out

her chair, sat down, and immediately looked out the window, spacing out.

She probably chose to look outside because she didn't want to see this class.

No one spoke to her, and her entire being exuded an aura of "Don't talk to me." However, just from that, you could tell she was still inexperienced. If you reached my level of mastery, even if you exuded an aura of "Please talk to me," no one would pay attention.

"Saki Kawasaki, huh..."

"Hachiman, don't look at a girl's panties and then say her name with such emotion."

Hiratsuka-sensei placed her hand on my shoulder, and it felt particularly cold.

"I need to talk to you about this. Come to the teachers' office after school."

× × ×

After nearly an hour of Hiratsuka-sensei's lecture and punishment, I was finally able to go home. On the way back, I detoured to the bookstore in MARINPIA (Note 25: A shopping mall in Chiba City).

I scanned the bookshelves, picked out a book, and bought it. After saying goodbye to a thousand-yen bill, all I had left in my wallet were jingling coins.

After buying the book, I planned to go to a cafe to study. However, it seemed everyone else had the same idea, as the cafe was already full of students.

I guess I'll just have to go home obediently... Just as I had this thought, I suddenly spotted a familiar face in the cafe.

There was Totsuka Saika, wearing a tracksuit, having a staring contest with the cakes in the display case. For your information, students at our school can choose to wear either a uniform or a tracksuit to school.

That scene was sweeter than whipped cream and instantly stole my heart. I was like an ant attracted to sugar. Does the children's song "The water here~ is sweeter~" sing about this? Wait, that might have been about fireflies.

"Okay, now it's Yukino's turn to ask a question~"

Then, I saw two more familiar faces—Yuihama and Yukino.

They didn't even want to waste time waiting in line at the counter and were diligently preparing for the upcoming exams.

"Alright, let's start with Japanese. Please complete the second half of the idiom I'm about to say. 'The wind blows hard...'"

"...The Keiyo Line will shut down?" (Note 26: The Keiyo Line often stops running due to strong winds. The standard answer to the original question was "The barrel salesman will get rich.")

Correction, that was just a Chiba trivia question, and Yuihama got it wrong. To be precise, it should be "It doesn't stop as often recently, but slow-downs have increased."

A dark cloud formed above Yukino's head upon hearing Yuihama's mistake.

"That's not right... Next question, geography. Please state two famous products of Chiba Prefecture."

Tick-tock... Time slipped away second by second, and Yuihama swallowed nervously with a serious expression.

"Miso peanuts, and... boiled peanuts?"

"Hey, does Chiba Prefecture only sell peanuts?"

"Whoa! It's, it's the shut-in! I thought I was being hit on by a creepy old man..."

Damn it, I had planned to come back another day, but I ended up in this line just to mock Yuihama's answer... Curse it! I really hate my love for Chiba!

Hearing Yuihama's excited reaction, Totsuka turned to look at us and then broke into a brilliant smile.

"Hachiman, were you invited to the study group too?"

He stood beside me with a smile, but of course, I hadn't received any invitation. Yuihama wore an awkward expression, "Oh no~ An uninvited guest has arrived~". Hey, don't react like that, it reminds me of an embarrassing memory from a childhood friend's birthday party. I had already prepared a gift, but when I arrived, I found out there were no chicken legs for me, and I almost cried.

"I did not invite Hachiman to the study group. What are you doing here?"

"Yukino, can you please not emphasize that again just to break my heart?"

Honestly, if my heart were too fragile, you'd be in big trouble right now. To be specific, I'd let out a wail and then smash a chair down. So, you should be grateful for my unusually strong will.

"No, we were going to invite you too, but you were called to the office by the teacher first..."

"It's fine, I don't care anyway..."

I'm already used to this kind of thing.

"Is Hachiman here to study?"

"Um... I guess so. Are you guys here to study too?"

"Of course, the exams are less than two weeks away."

"Before you start studying, I suggest you review the information about Chiba Prefecture properly. That last question was a freebie."