My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected / My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"I don't think that's a giveaway question... All right, geography next. Name two specialties of Chiba Prefecture."

Yukino's tone when she questioned me was exactly the same as when she'd questioned Yuihama earlier. It seemed she wanted to test me too.

"The correct answer is 'Chiba sights and festival dances.'"

"I asked for specialties. Besides, hardly anyone even knows the lyrics to the Chiba Ondo..."

Yukino looked completely defeated by me, but wasn't she the one who knew them? If anything, I was the one defeated by her. Incidentally, the Chiba Ondo was a local Obon Festival dance, about as popular as the Prefectural Gymnastics here. Speaking of Prefectural Gymnastics, every Chiba native could sing and dance it. But that exercise didn't even have lyrics, so why could they sing it?

After quite a while, it was finally our turn to order. At that moment, Yuihama suddenly grinned mischievously.

"Shut-in, treat me~♪"

"Hm? Sure. What do you want to drink? Syrup?"

"Am I a Rhinoceros Beetle? If you don't want to treat me, just say so!"

Oops, she'd caught on. Well, I had no reason to treat her in the first place. Yukino watched our exchange and let out a soft sigh.

"Enough. That's embarrassing. People who constantly expect others to treat them are basically garbage. I really dislike them."

It was rare for me to agree with Yukino.

"Yeah, I don't like them either."

"Huh? I-I won't say it again!"

"But joking around between friends is fine. You can ask your close friends to treat you."

"Yeah, exactly. They're not my close friends anyway, so I don't care."

"I'm shocked! So I'm not one of your close friends?"

I watched coldly as Yuihama complained to Yukino, and it was finally my turn to order. I ordered a Mixed Coffee, and the sharp, efficient clerk immediately handed me my drink.

"That'll be 390 yen."

I reached into my pocket, but then suddenly remembered what had happened not long ago. I'd bought a Light Novel at the bookstore, and then? I'd paid with the only thousand-yen bill I had, and the change I'd gotten back... I hadn't brought any money with me today at all! But the clerk had already made the coffee, so I couldn't back out now.

So I quietly spoke to the two behind me.

"Sorry, I didn't bring any money today. Could you pay for me?"

"...Garbage."

Yukino deemed me garbage without hesitation, while Yuihama sighed helplessly.

"Honestly, what am I going to do with you?"

M-Miss Yuihama! A goddess had descended! That settled it!

"Since I'm paying for that coffee, why don't you just drink syrup, shut-in?"

...You devil. Are you Shin Megami Tensei?

"H-Hachiman, I'll pay! Don't be shy!"

Totsuka smiled gently at me, like an angel! Just as I was about to give him a proper hug, Yukino's icy voice cut in from beside us.

"Being too nice to him isn't a good thing."

"Say that after you've ever been nice to me."

In the end, Totsuka paid for my coffee. I thanked him, then went to find us seats. It was only right to do that while waiting for the three of them to finish ordering.

Just then, four customers got up to leave, and I immediately took their table. After setting down my tray, I tossed my backpack onto the sofa, but I threw it too hard and it slid far away.

At that moment, a Beautiful Girl in a uniform at the next table gently stopped my backpack for me. She didn't voice a single complaint, and her manner was remarkably graceful and composed, so I nodded my thanks to her.

"Ah, Brother."

That Beautiful Girl was my little sister—Komachi Hikigaya. Wearing her middle school uniform, she waved at me with a delighted smile.

"...What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Taishi asked Komachi to come here and discuss something."

After saying that, Komachi turned toward the seat across from her. A middle school boy in a stand-collar uniform sat there.

He bowed to me, and I instinctively went on alert. Why? Why was there a boy with Komachi?!

"This is Taishi Kawasaki. I mentioned him yesterday, didn't I? His older sister turned into a delinquent girl."

Come to think of it, that did sound vaguely familiar, but ninety-nine percent of what she'd said had gone in one ear and out the other. All I remembered was, "In 694, the bush warblers sang in Fujiwara-kyo." So what exactly happened that year...?

"He wants to know what he can do to make his sister go back to how she used to be. Oh, right, Brother, you should listen too. Didn't you say before that they could come to you if they had any problems?"

Ah, yesterday I'd apparently gotten carried away and blurted out something like, "Leave this to me. You guys go on ahead." If it were for my little sister, I'd certainly be willing to help. But this was my sister's friend, and a guy at that. I really couldn't muster any enthusiasm...

"I see. All right. But wouldn't it be better to talk it over with your family first? That's right, it wouldn't be too late at all. If anything, doing it now would be too soon."

Would he obediently take the bait and follow my advice, which sounded reasonable at first but was actually completely useless? Then he could hurry up and leave my sister alone, and get the hell back to his own house!

With that thought in mind, I counseled Taishi like a proper senpai.

"W-Well... lately, my sister always comes home really late, and she doesn't listen to our parents at all. No matter what I say to her, she just angrily says it's none of my business..."

Taishi lowered his head as he spoke. It seemed he'd run out of ideas.

"Right now... Brother is the only one I can rely on."

"Isn't it kind of weird for you to call me 'Brother'?!"

"What are you arguing about? You sound like some stubborn dad."

At that moment, a calm voice came from behind us. I turned around and found that Yukinoshita and the others had arrived. Seeing that they wore the same uniforms as me, Komachi immediately concluded that they were my companions and quickly put on her customer-service smile.

"Well hello, everyone~ I'm Komachi Hikigaya. Thank you for taking care of my brother."

She greeted them while bowing. My little sister had always possessed this particular trait—she was very good at keeping up appearances around outsiders. Taishi Kawasaki, meanwhile, also lowered his head in greeting and gave his name. However, the angle at which he lowered his head was somewhere between a nod and a bow, making it impossible to tell which one it was supposed to be.

"Are you Hachiman's little sister? Nice to meet you. I'm Totsuka Saika, his classmate."

"Ah, nice to meet you too~ Wow, you're so cute! Don't you think so, Brother?"

"Yeah, but he's a boy."

"Hahaha, there you go joking again. I have no idea what this brother of mine is talking about~"

"Um... I really am a boy..."

Totsuka's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he looked away. Huh? He really was a boy, right?

"Huh... really?"

Komachi nudged me with her elbow and asked.

"Sorry, I'm not completely sure either, but I think he's a boy. Even though he really is cute."

"I-I see..."

Komachi still stared at Totsuka with half-believing suspicion. Whenever she offered compliments like, "Your eyelashes are so long~ Your skin is so pretty~," Totsuka would squirm uneasily, his face bright red, as though trying to escape her gaze.

He looked so incredibly cute that I wanted to keep watching forever. However, I caught the plea for help in his eyes and pulled Komachi aside.

"All right, that's enough. This is Yuihama, and the one next to her is Yukinoshita."

After my brief introduction, Komachi looked toward the two of them. When Yuihama met her eyes, she introduced herself with a "Hahaha~."

"N-nice to meet you... I'm Yuihama Yui, the shut-in's classmate."

"Nice to meet you, please... huh? Um..."

Komachi froze and carefully studied Yuihama's face, while Yuihama broke out in a cold sweat and let her gaze drift away. What were you two, a snake and a frog? After staring at each other for three seconds, a voice finally cut in.

"...Shouldn't that be enough by now?"

Though Yukinoshita remained perfectly composed, she had been waiting far too long. With one chilly sentence, she obediently redirected Yuihama and Komachi's attention to herself. Impressive. Yukinoshita's voice was cold and clear, like a whisper in one's ear, yet every word came through distinctly. It felt like listening to silent snow gradually piling up.

And so, silence fell over the scene. More accurately, everyone forgot to breathe. Komachi stared straight at Yukinoshita with wide eyes. From an outsider's perspective, she looked as though Yukinoshita had captivated her in an instant.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Yukino Yukinoshita. What am I to Hikigaya-kun, exactly...? We are neither classmates nor friends... regrettably, I suppose we would be acquaintances?"

"What's with saying 'regrettably' and making it a question at the same time...?"

"Wait, is 'acquaintances' even appropriate? My knowledge of Hikigaya-kun begins and ends with his name. To be more precise, I do not wish to know anything else about him. Can we truly be called acquaintances?"

That was awfully harsh. But thinking about it carefully, the label "acquaintance" was incredibly vague. If you called someone a "friend," people could at least more or less understand the relationship. If you had only met once, could you be called acquaintances? If you had met many times, could you still be called acquaintances? How much did you need to know about each other before you counted as acquaintances?

It really was inappropriate to use such an ill-defined label. In that case, we should use an established fact.

"Anyway, we're students in the same year at the same school."

"That makes sense... Then allow me to revise that. Regrettably, I am Yukino Yukinoshita, a student at the same school as Hikigaya-kun."

"You still kept the 'regrettably' part!"

It wasn't just you who regretted it—I regretted it like crazy too!

"Because I could not think of a better description."

"It's fine. From that conversation just now, Komachi already understands what your usual relationship is like, so there's no problem."

Komachi gently said this to Yukinoshita, who was still thinking. Having a smart little sister was nice. Too bad she clearly did not love her brother enough.

"Um... what should I do?"

"Hm? Ah..."

We turned around and realized that Taishi had been left out the entire time, with no idea what he was supposed to do.

I had already felt thoroughly ignored, but there was someone here who only knew Komachi. He must have felt even more awkward. If you were taken somewhere strange as an acquaintance's acquaintance, you would definitely feel restless and out of place. On top of that, everyone present was older than you, so you would become overly careful about your words and behavior. Then, because you were being careful, you would not dare say much, which would instead draw people's attention and make them ask, "What's wrong? Why aren't you saying anything?" At that point, you would practically want to die. So all you could do was pretend to listen attentively, nod at the right moments, or keep a vague smile on your face at all times.

From that perspective, Taishi's ability to work up the nerve to say something showed that he had quite good social skills. He would surely have a promising future... though not promising enough for me to hand Komachi over to him.

"I'm Taishi Kawasaki. My older sister is a second-year at Sobu High School... Ah, my sister's name is Saki Kawasaki. Recently, she's started going bad—or rather, she's become a delinquent girl..."

That name sounded familiar. I rummaged through my memories while adding milk to my coffee. In that instant, a torrent of memories crashed over me. The starkly contrasting black and white liquids gradually blended together, stimulating my vision... Right! That Black Lace Woman!

"Saki Kawasaki from our class?"

"Saki Kawasaki..."

Yukinoshita did not know the person. After repeating the name, she tilted her head slightly in confusion. As for Yuihama, the moment she heard the name, she clapped her hands together. As expected of a classmate.

"Ah~ Kawasaki? She seems kind of scary. Would you call her a delinquent girl...?"

"You aren't friends?"

"Though we've talked before, I guess we're not really friends... Hey, don't ask a girl something like that. It's hard to answer."

Yuihama hedged a little. It seemed girls were divided into all sorts of groups, cliques, factions, and guilds—an intricate web of internal politics. In any case, from what she said, it was clear that the two of them did not get along.

"Still, I've never seen Kawasaki being especially close with anyone... She always seemed to sit at her desk, staring out the window in a daze."

"Ah, that's true."

With Totsuka's addition, I recalled what Kawasaki looked like in the classroom. Her slightly gray eyes were always fixed on the clouds drifting through the sky; her gaze was not on the classroom, but somewhere farther away, someplace that did not belong here.

"When did your sister start to change?"

"Y-Yes!"

Taishi's body jolted when Yukino suddenly addressed him.

Let me explain. Taishi was not merely scared of Yukino; he was also nervous because the person speaking to him was a beautiful older girl. That was a normal reaction for a middle school boy. When I had still been in middle school, I was probably the same way—but now that I was in high school, all that remained was fear.

"Um... My sister studied really hard in middle school, so she was able to get into Sobu High School. She was very nice to me back then too, and often cooked for me. Nothing really changed until her first year, but recently..."

"So she became like that after entering her second year?"

Taishi answered my question with a "Yes," while Yukino had already entered thinking mode.

"Among the things that changed after she entered her second year, was there anything that might be a likely cause?"

"Maybe being assigned to a new class? After she was placed in Class F."

"So, it happened after she ended up in the same class as Hikigaya-kun."

"Hey, why are you saying it like I caused it? What am I, some kind of germ?"

"I did not say that. Your persecution complex is too severe, Hikigaya Germ."

"You totally did! I heard that 'germ' part loud and clear!" (Note 27: "Hikigaya-kun" and "Hikigaya Germ" sound similar.)

"I merely bit my tongue by accident."

She was actually playing dumb!