My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"It might cause trouble for others later. You're a high school student, after all. You might be sent to the police for counseling, and then your parents and I would be called in too."

Hearing this, Kawasaki simply continued to stare blankly at the teacher. Hiratsuka-sensei, unable to stand her demeanor any longer, grabbed Kawasaki's arm.

"Haven't you thought about your parents' feelings?"

Hiratsuka-sensei's expression was serious, and she showed no signs of letting go. Her hand must have been quite warm at that moment. She wondered if that warmth could reach Kawasaki's cold heart.

"Teacher..."

Kawasaki spoke softly, reaching out to touch the teacher's hand. She looked Hiratsuka-sensei straight in the eye and said, "How my parents feel is none of my business. Besides, you've never been a mother, so you wouldn't understand, would you? Please don't talk about this until you're married and have children."

"Ugh!"

She flung Hiratsuka-sensei's hand away. The teacher staggered as if hit by a right hook, losing her balance. It seemed Kawasaki hadn't received her warmth at all.

"Teacher, instead of worrying about my future, you should worry about your own, like getting married quickly."

Kawasaki continued her assault. Hiratsuka-sensei, who had been leaning back, lurched forward, her knees trembling. It seemed her legs had been attacked... Then the trembling moved up to her waist, shoulders, and finally even affected her voice.

"...Ugh ugh..."

The teacher's eyes welled up with tears, unable to counterattack.

Kawasaki heartlessly abandoned the teacher and walked towards the bicycle parking area. We looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Yuihama and Komachi awkwardly stared at the ground, while Totsuka mumbled, "Teacher's so pitiful..."

At that moment, Yukino nudged me from behind, probably expecting me to come up with a solution.

What? Why me? Although I thought this, seeing the teacher so pathetic, I felt I should go comfort her. This feeling... could it be "sympathy"?

"Um... T-Teacher?"

As I pondered how to comfort her, I spoke to Hiratsuka-sensei. She slowly turned around like a zombie.

"...Waaah... I'm going home for today..."

She wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes with her thumb and said weakly.

Then, without waiting for my response, she stumbled unsteadily towards the parking lot.

"T-Teacher, you've worked hard."

Watching her walk alone into the sunset, I felt my own tears were about to well up from the sunlight.

Someone go keep her company, I'm serious.

× × ×

Hiratsuka-sensei disappeared into the sunset, becoming a twinkling star in the night sky.

An hour later, our group arrived at Chiba Station.

I first had Komachi take Yukino home. For a junior high school girl, Chiba was still too dangerous. She'd be better off going with her friends to the food court at "Youkadou" next to Route 14 to eat baked potatoes. But why do junior high students love going to Youkadou so much? Every time I went shopping there with my mom, I found them incredibly annoying. Go to "Mother Farm" instead! (Note 31: "Youkadou" is a Japanese chain department store. "Mother Farm" is a ranch-themed amusement park located in Chiba Prefecture.)

It was almost 7:30 PM, and the night streets were just starting to liven up.

"Among the restaurants in Chiba City, there are only two with 'Angel' in their name that are open all night."

"Is this one of them?"

Yukino looked suspiciously at a brightly lit sign that read "Maid Cafe, Angels Inside." The sign was decorated with flashing neon lights, and next to it was another sign depicting a girl with animal ears, waving and beckoning customers with a "Meow! Welcome home, woof~" I could clearly tell from Yukino's attitude that she was wondering, What is this?

Actually, I was just as confused. What was going on? Meowing and woofing, was it a cat or a dog? And even though the shop was called "Angels Inside," it didn't feel angelic at all.

"So Chiba has maid cafes too..."

Yuihama said, as if finding it novel.

"Yuihama, you're too naive. Chiba has everything. It's best at misunderstanding trends from other places and introducing them. Look at this place, it's so regrettably awful. This is what we call 'Chiba quality'."

That's right, Chiba is a prefecture that embodies all regrets. From New Tokyo International Airport, Tokyo Game Show, Tokyo German Village, to Kashiwa City, known as "Chiba Shibuya," none of them want to be compared to Tokyo. Yet, Chiba people like to preserve their Chiba flavor in strange places and add some variations. That's Chiba. Think about that upscale residential area, sarcastically called "Chiba Beverly." That kind of persistence is practically declaring war on the world.

Then, near Chiba-Chuo Station on the Keisei Electric Railway, Animate and Toranoana are gathered, which can be considered Chiba's subculture hub. In other words, this is a war between Chiba and Akihabara. Therefore, it's only natural that a maid cafe would appear here.

"I don't know much about places like this... What kind of place is a maid cafe?"

Totsuka read the words on the signboard several times but couldn't understand them no matter how hard he tried. It was no use. Even if it said, "Would you like to spend some moe moe maid time with us," it was still confusing. No, wait, what does "maid time" mean? Are we supposed to be maids?

"I haven't been to a maid cafe either, so I'm not sure... However, I've called someone who's very familiar with these kinds of places."

"Ahem~ Did you call me, Hachiman?"

Speak of the devil. Yoshiteru Zaimokuza came through the ticket gate of Chiba-Chuo Station to meet us. It was early summer, but he was wearing a coat, panting heavily, and wiping sweat. The collar of his jacket was covered in salt crystals. Hey, do you know that in ancient China, making salt yourself was a capital offense?

"Oh my..."

Yuihama showed a slightly uncomfortable expression, but I couldn't blame her, as I was even more uncomfortable than she was.

"...You called me here, why the long face?"

"We can't help it. Dealing with you is such a hassle."

"Wooo! Precisely. Our strengths are equal, and I cannot hold back. I know this feeling of aversion towards an opponent very well."

"Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what's troublesome."

"Gahahahahaha!"

With that, Zaimokuza let out an unpleasant, cackling laugh. "Just get lost!"

Truthfully, I really didn't want to involve him, but among the people I knew, he and Hiratsuka-sensei were the only ones with any real research in this area. However, Hiratsuka-sensei's interests lay in shonen manga, so that left only one option.

I first emailed him the details of the situation, including Kawasaki's curfew, that the name of her workplace might contain the word "Angel," and her general personality. From this information, Zaimokuza deduced a possible location: this "Angel Inside" maid cafe.

"Zaimokuza, is this really the place?"

"Yep, no doubt about it."

He manipulated his smartphone, showing us the information he'd found on Google-sama. It was certainly convenient, but smartphones were too convenient, making our fingers work that much harder. The "internet society" must refer to a society where people surf the web so much that their fingers develop problems.

"As you can see, there are two potential locations within Chiba City. But my soul whispers to me that the person named Saki Kawasaki will definitely choose this one."

"How do you know?"

Seeing Zaimokuza's extreme confidence, I couldn't help but swallow. Did this guy have some secret information we didn't?

When I asked, Zaimokuza let out a laugh from deep within his throat... Ah, he didn't actually possess "confidence"; what he had was "certainty."

"No need to ask, just follow me... Those maids will take good care of you..."

He finished speaking and flipped the hem of his coat, and I felt as if a gust of wind swirled around him.

This guy...

Since this guy said it like that, of course, I had to go with him! To that promised land, that honey-filled golden land, that sacred, blush-inducing kingdom!

My heart pounded with excitement, anticipating what kind of services the maids would offer, and I took a step forward. It was a small step for a human, but a monumental leap for me!

Just then, someone grabbed the hem of my jacket. When I looked back, I saw Yuihama puffing out her cheeks with a displeased expression.

"..."

"...What's wrong?"

"Nothing~ It's just that the thought of the shut-in guy going into a place like that... I just don't feel too good about it."

She kept rubbing my jacket with her fingertips, clearly sulking. Stop it, you'll get fuzz balls!

"...I don't understand what you're saying. Please state the subject, predicate, and object clearly."

"I mean, aren't places like this for men? Then what are we girls supposed to do?"

Huh? Oh my, now that she mentioned it, girls don't really go to maid cafes, do they?

I glanced at Master Zaimokuza, seeking his wisdom. Our reliable master folded his arms and addressed us from a slightly elevated position:

"Woman, worry not."

"Who are you calling a melon...?" No, I agree you're a melon, but I won't tell you why.

"I have already prepared a maid outfit for this undercover investigation."

Zaimokuza pulled a maid outfit from behind him, still in its dry-cleaning bag, indicating it was in the cleanest possible state. Huh? It wasn't something like a metal pipe or a frying pan?

"Ahem, then, Totsuka-shi, come here..."

Oh, so he was calling Totsuka! Well done!

"Eh? Wh-why me..."

Zaimokuza advanced on Totsuka step by step, and Totsuka retreated step by step. Was this some kind of horror movie? Normally, I would have played the hero and saved Totsuka by punching Zaimokuza in the stomach. But at this moment, my body refused to move.

I, I really wanted to see...

Before I knew it, Totsuka was cornered against the wall. With Zaimokuza silhouetted against the light, he truly looked like a monster.

"Come on, Totsuka-shi... Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!"

Seeing a behemoth holding a maid outfit, Totsuka, tears welling up, shook his head repeatedly.

"No... No... I don't want to..."

He knew it was futile resistance, but he still squeezed his tear-filled eyes shut, trying to escape reality.

At that moment--

"I wanna wear it, I wanna wear it! I wanna try wearing it! It looks so cute!"

Yuihama snatched the maid outfit from Zaimokuza's hand.

"...Tch!"

Zaimokuza spat, a behavior that seemed to displease Yuihama immensely. She shot him a look that said, "This virgin is so gross."

"What's with that attitude? It's really unpleasant."

Normally, Zaimokuza would have bluffed his way through with a series of coughs, but he was currently swept up in the idea of "Totsuka wearing a maid outfit" and had been inexplicably forceful since earlier.

"Hmph, that's not what a maid is. The maids you speak of are merely dressing up; they have no soul."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about..."

Yuihama pleaded with her eyes for my help, but I wouldn't assist her at a time like this. Because--I understood what Zaimokuza meant.

"I get it. How should I put it... When you wear a maid outfit, you just look awful, like a university student messing around in a maid outfit during a school festival, making everyone irritable just by looking at you."

Honestly, some people look down on otaku and maids who hang out in places like this, but then they elevate maid outfits to something sacred during special events. What's that supposed to mean? It's really annoying.

"If you're going to cosplay, you need to embody the character from the inside out! Go watch Shirley first! Someone at your level would definitely dress up as Hatsune at Comiket and openly smoke in the smoking area!"

Zaimokuza was getting quite worked up, and Yuihama couldn't help but take three steps back. She let out a frustrated groan and looked around for a rescuer, eventually hiding behind Yukino.

Yukino, used as a human shield, sighed softly and then pointed to the cafe's sign.

"It seems they welcome female customers here too."

Indeed, the spot Yukino pointed to had that line written on it.

--We also welcome female customers! You can experience being a maid!

Hey, signs don't lie, right? So, are we really going to become Maid Time?

× × ×

In any case, the five of us, men and women, walked into the store.

"Master, Princess, welcome back!"

With the customary greeting, we were led to our table and seated.

Yuihama and Yukino went to experience being maids, so it was just me, Totsuka, and Zaimokuza at the table.

"Master, please tell us if there's anything you need."

A tall woman with cat ears and red-rimmed glasses brought us the menu, filled with handwritten item names like "Chew Chew~ Delicious Omurice," "White Curry☆," and "Cute Cake♪," all brimming with a strong girly vibe. In addition to the regular menu, there were optional services like "Moe Moe Rock-Paper-Scissors," "Photo Ops," and "Sobu Line Game." But why would playing rock-paper-scissors with a maid cost money? Is this still the bubble economy era?

Whatever, I'll leave these incomprehensible things to Zaimokuza to decide.

I looked at Murakiza beside me. He was constantly looking around, hunched over, and frequently taking sips of water. Come to think of it, he hadn't said a word since we stepped into the store.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Um... I-I like this kind of place, but I get really nervous when I come in... I can't talk properly with the maids."

"Oh."