My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

He continuously sent ultra-vibration waves at the glass in his hand, and I decided to ignore him. There was one other person present who had his lips sealed shut, so I turned to him instead.

"Totsuka, about the Maid Cafe—"

"..."

Totsuka didn't react.

"To-Totsuka?"

"..."

This time, I was the one being ignored. Oh, my sun! Usually, when I talk to him, he'd look at me with a smile! But now, he'd turned his face away, sulking and completely silent.

"What's wrong? Are you mad at me?"

If even he ignored me, I might as well just die... I gripped my fork, ready to stab it into my throat at any moment, and asked him again. This time, he finally spoke.

"...You didn't help me just now."

"Huh? Ah, no, that's..."

"...I'm a guy, but you made me wear such a cute outfit."

Totsuka glared at me indignantly... Even when he's angry, he's so cute... Oh, no, no, no. Totsuka is a guy, and getting angry for that reason means he doesn't like being told he looks like a girl. If that's the case, I need to be careful not to say things like that again.

"Well... um, that's just how guys joke around, like wolves roughhousing with each other."

"...Really?"

"Really. A man never lies."

In any case, I had to play the "guy card" in this situation, emphasizing masculinity with "guy talk."

"Th-then, it's okay..."

Totsuka, with blushing cheeks, finally seemed willing to forgive me.

"I'm really sorry. To make it up to you, how about I treat you to a Cappuccino? Italian guys drink this kind of coffee, you know."

"Yeah, thank you!"

In any case, the strategy of constantly emphasizing "manliness" seemed to work, and Totsuka's mood improved, bringing back his brilliant smile. So, I happily pressed the service bell on the table.

"Master, thank you for waiting."

"We'll have two Cappuccinos."

"If Master wishes, we can draw pictures like kittens on your Cappuccinos. Would you like that?"

"Oh, no thank you."

Even though I refused the extra service offered by the Maid, she didn't show the slightest displeasure, still smiling beautifully as she said, "Yes, Master, please wait a moment ♪." If this were a Japanese izakaya, it would be more like, "Sure! Coming right up!"

As expected of a professional, her every move was crisp, capable, and energetic, which felt quite comfortable.

I think the reason Maid Cafes are popular isn't because of superficial things like "Moe Moe ♪" or "Master," but because of their sincere service, which is "We hope everyone can have a pleasant time." Guessing games with customers, drawing pictures on omelet rice, and so on, are probably just ways for them to express their feelings. Because these feelings are successfully conveyed, customers keep coming back.

However, there were also some Maids whose movements were quite clumsy. Her hands trembled as she held the tray, her eyes fixed on the cups on the tray, and she walked unsteadily. She was definitely going to fall and flash her panties... As I thought that, I suddenly realized the Maid was Yuihama.

"Thank you for waiting... M-Master."

Her cheeks flushed red as she placed the cups on our table. It seemed saying those words was quite embarrassing for her.

Yuihama was wearing a currently popular, simple Maid outfit, based on black and white, with fluttering lace trim; the skirt was very short, while the top was intentionally designed to emphasize her chest.

"..."

"Do, does it suit me?"

She placed the tray on the table and slowly turned around to show us. As her body moved, the ribbons and lace decorating the outfit fluttered.

"Wow~ Yuihama, you're so cute! Right, Hachiman?"

"Hm? Ah, hahaha."

Caught off guard by Totsuka's sudden question, I blurted out a rather vague answer. However, Yuihama seemed to interpret it as praise and smiled happily.

"Is that so... That's great... Hehe, thank you."

To be honest, I was actually startled.

Yuihama's dorky personality hadn't changed, but her restrained demeanor and slightly shy expression gave her a different impression than before.

"Oh dear~ but the skirt of the Maid outfit is so short, and the knee-high socks are so tight. It must have been tough for people to work like this in the past~ I feel like after cleaning the house once, I'd be covered in dust like a duster."

I retracted my previous statement. Yuihama was Yuihama after all.

"It would have been better if you'd just shut up..."

"What? What do you mean by that!"

She picked up the tray and tried to hit me on the head. How dare she lay a hand on Master!

"What are you two playing at?"

At that moment, a cold voice came from behind. I turned around and saw a Maid from the Great British Empire era standing there.

She wore a long-sleeved top and a long skirt, overall in a dark moss green. A conspicuous black ribbon was tied around her head as decoration. The dignified and steady image made the simple and unadorned clothing exude an air of luxury.

"Wow~ Oh my gosh! Yukino, you look so pretty! It suits you so well!"

Yuihama exclaimed in admiration.

She was right, the outfit really suited Yukino.

"But, rather than a maid, you look more like Miss Rotmeyer..."

My analogy should have been easy to understand, but Yukino and Yuihama seemed not to get it, question marks appearing above their heads.

"I mean, it suits you..."

"Is that so? Well, I don't really care."

Yukino replied with a lack of interest.

To clarify, Miss Rotmeyer was a housekeeper character from an old cartoon called "Little Angel." You could say she was a maid, too. If I were to compare her to other similar characters, it would probably be like the haunted house staff at Disneyland.

"It seems Kawasaki-san doesn't work at this shop."

"You already investigated?"

"Of course. I wore this outfit specifically to investigate."

Yukino infiltrated the place by herself and did so with great success. It felt like I was witnessing the birth of a maid detective. In comparison, my mind was just filled with thoughts of pleasing Totsuka...

"Could she be on her day off today?"

Hearing Yuihama ask, Yukino shook her head and said:

"Her name isn't on the schedule. Since the shop she works at calls her home, it's clear that Kawasaki-san isn't using a fake name."

Even considering this, she wasn't just a maid, she was practically a housekeeper. I've seen housekeepers before! (Note 33: The original pronunciation of this sentence is the same as the title of the Japanese drama "Kaseifu no Mita.")

"So, we were completely fooled by false information..."

I glared at Zaimokuza, who was sitting next to me. Zaimokuza tilted his head and mused:

"That's strange... It shouldn't be like this..."

"Like what?"

"Un~ Hmm~ Isn't it a fated development for a usually arrogant girl to secretly work at a maid cafe, and then have a situation like, 'Meow meow meow♪ Welcome back, Master... Hey, why are you here?'"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

What business do we have with Zaimokuza's preferences? Because of this guy, we wasted a day, and it was already late today, so we couldn't go to another shop.

However, Yuihama was quite happy wearing the maid outfit, and I found another decent shop, so I guess it wasn't a complete loss.

× × ×

The next day, the number of people who appeared at our club room reached an all-time high.

Yukino believed that if symptomatic treatment didn't work, a fundamental cure should be sought. Everyone gathered here because of those words.

I, Yukino, and Yuihama were already club members, so it was natural for us to be in the club room. Totsuka and Zaimokuza often showed up, so it wasn't surprising.

However, one person was clearly out of place, yet surprisingly blended into the environment.

"Why is Hayama here?"

Hayama was sitting by the window, reading a book. Hey, you're a sunny, athletic type, so don't just sit there reading. Are you a Perfect Cell (Note 34: A character from the manga "Dragon Ball" who became perfect after absorbing Androids 17 and 18.)?

After I called out to him, Hayama closed his book and waved, saying "Hi~".

"No, I was called here by Yui."

"Yuihama?"

I turned to look at Yuihama, and for some reason, she proudly puffed out her chest.

"I thought about it a little. Shouldn't there be a reason why Kawasaki-san changed? While removing the cause from the root is a good method, it would be difficult to implement if she just wouldn't listen to anyone, right?"

"Hmm, that makes sense."

It was amazing that Yuihama could speak so coherently. I nodded, impressed by this small miracle. Seeing my reaction, Yuihama's mood improved, and she puffed her chest out even higher, her eyes almost looking at the ceiling.

"Right? So, we need to change our way of thinking. Since Kawasaki-san turned bad, if we make her change again, wouldn't she logically turn good?"

This must be what they mean by "the opposite of agreement is agreement." Fujio Akatsuka is truly amazing (Note 35: A famous quote from Fujio Akatsuka's manga "Tensai Bakabon.").

"Then, why is it necessary to call Hayama-kun here?"

Yukino didn't seem to have a good impression of Hayama, so she spoke with a particularly sharp tone. However, Hayama just listened intently to Yuihama, not paying much attention.

"Oh, Yukino! Isn't there only one reason why a girl changes?"

"The reason a girl changes... is it aging?"

"Do you mean getting old? No, that's not it! Girls are girls no matter how much time passes! Yukino, you're not very girlish!"

"Here we go again..."

Yukino sighed, not knowing how to respond.

However, girls who always talk about whether someone is "girlish or not" are actually less girlish.

Since they didn't notice this fact, it means they aren't very girlish.

"The reason girls change is, is... love, or something like that..."

This guy seems to have said something embarrassing, and the person who said it is the most embarrassed.

"An-anyway! When a girl likes someone, many things about her become strange! So, I think if we can create that kind of opportunity, things will resolve... This is why I asked Hayama-kun for help."

"Uh, I don't really understand why you'd choose me."

Hayama said with a wry smile at Yuihama. Wait a minute! If you really don't know, I'm going to get angry too! I glared at him with wide eyes, and at the same time, Zaimokuza made the exact same move.

"Aren't there many other guys who are popular with girls? Like, over here... Totsuka is really popular."

It's good that he knows he's popular... No, it's not good at all! I absolutely cannot accept this! I glared at him with wide eyes again, and at the same time, Zaimokuza made the exact same move.

"I-I'm not really sure about that..."

Totsuka blushed and quickly lowered his head. Seeing his reaction, Yuihama crossed her arms and thought for a moment.

"Hmm, Saika is indeed popular with girls, but she might not fit Kawasaki-san's taste. And you know, that chuunibyou guy is out of the question. Looking at it this way, Hayama-kun is the most suitable candidate."

"Hey, don't just ignore me!"

"The shut-in guy is completely out of consideration!"

You don't have to get angry at me with a red face, do you? Still, being outside the range of attack, and worse off than Zaimokuza, does hit me a little... Wait, is "chuunibyou" a nickname she gave Zaimokuza?

"Yuihama-san's judgment is correct. Do you really think someone would fall for you after getting to know you?"

"That's right, that's right~"

Makes sense. If I were a girl, I probably wouldn't be interested in someone who's always alone. Oh well~ It can't be helped, it's my ninja talent, you know. Ninjas can't let their presence be known, so it's unavoidable. My talent is truly terrifying...

"Ah, no~ I didn't mean it like that, or maybe you're not that bad? Or perhaps it's because of various reasons that you're quite regrettable... Anyway, I want to ask Hayama-kun for help with this."

How should I utilize this ninja talent of mine? Should I just become Hokage... While I was thinking this, Yuihama continued to explain her thoughts.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"