Social Anxiety and the Rock of Loneliness

He picked up the textbook he bought with Nijika and the others that day. He touched the real paper pages, but didn't feel much desire to read it.

Kita Ikuyo, on the other hand, arrived fashionably late, just as class was about to start.

She walked into the classroom, her usual smile gone. She even forced a strained smile when greeting her friends.

Before sitting down, she glanced at Ishikawa Hayato with the guilty expression of someone who had done something wrong. But her gaze suddenly met his, startling her. She then pretended to be calm and put her bag into her desk.

Ishikawa Hayato, however, knew the reason.

He had just noticed that Kita Ikuyo's hands were wrapped in more serious bandages, and she seemed to have faint dark circles under her eyes, as if she had used some kind of makeup to cover them up.

Even though she kept trying to hide it, she couldn't escape his perverted gaze.

She's such an idiot. Besides, practicing bass hurts your hands more than guitar, but it doesn't scratch your fingers as easily. She must have worked really hard to get to this point.

When class ended.

Ishikawa Hayato took out his phone and sent a message to Kita Ikuyo's LINE, which had been acting dead. Then he walked out.

He went to the school's rooftop. Almost no one came here during breaks.

The school Ishikawa Hayato attended was ranked poorly in terms of academic scores.

It emphasized "happy learning, wonderful life," focusing on a relaxed student experience, though not completely neglecting academics.

The school's environment was also clean and beautiful, matching its founding philosophy.

A brightly painted safety net surrounded the spacious rooftop. The rough granite reflected some sunlight. In the flowerbed at the center of the rooftop, several Aglaonemas grew vibrantly.

Ishikawa Hayato waited for a while before hearing hurried footsteps approaching from the hallway upstairs.

Kita Ikuyo had never blocked the messages from the other three members of the band.

But every time she saw a message from them, she would quickly turn off her screen.

She saw them go from asking when she was coming, to wondering why she wasn't there, to worrying about her.

She felt like she had done something unforgivable.

But with her hands, she couldn't practice the guitar to produce the right sound. She had watched so many tutorial videos and practiced for so long, but she didn't feel the slightest bit of improvement.

She had even injured her hand, which Ryo-senpai had warned her to be careful about.

She didn't even dare to meet them on Saturday afternoon.

By Monday, she couldn't imagine what expression Ishikawa Hayato would have when he saw her. She even thought about just taking leave.

However, some things just had to be faced.

After class, she received a LINE message from Ishikawa Hayato. She braced herself and walked up to the rooftop, ready to confess to him.

She hoped he could explain things to the two senpais on her behalf.

Hurrying up to the rooftop, Kita Ikuyo nervously prepared to blurt everything out.

"I'm sorry, actually I..."

She gathered her courage, made up her mind, and was interrupted by Ishikawa Hayato before she could even say the words she had rehearsed in her mind several times.

She only heard Ishikawa Hayato say with a smile.

"Kita Ikuyo, you don't want the senpais to know that you can't play the guitar, do you?"

Kita Ikuyo froze on the spot.

Kita Ikuyo had always felt her life was incredibly boring.

Her grades were decent, she was good at sports, and she had many friends. Everything was just in the most ordinary middle range.

She felt like she had been molded by society, school, and her friends.

She always did what was appropriate, what she was supposed to do.

Just one member of the vast sea of high school girls.

She didn't even have a single special skill.

That's why, when she saw Ryo-senpai performing on the street, she was instantly captivated by her unique attitude and fiercely individual personality.

She wanted to join the band and try hard to change.

But... as expected, some things are just fantasies.

After sitting down, she didn't know if she was relieved or if she had given up hope.

Ishikawa-kun had just asked her for two favors, very small, trivial things.

Although she didn't quite understand, he had agreed to help explain her situation to the senpais, so she had agreed.

When class ended, Kita Ikuyo thought about the favors Ishikawa Hayato had asked for and suddenly realized.

In the classroom, an atmosphere of collective disgust and isolation seemed to be brewing.

It's only the beginning of the school year, how could this happen?

She had been so busy with practice and thinking about Ryo-senpai recently that she hadn't noticed this.

Speaking of which, Ishikawa-kun should have been very aware of this.

This situation would be very bad.

But why would he ask me to...

"Don't speak up for me in class."

19. Lunch

Gotou Hitori was quite worried about Ishikawa Hayato.

Even though it was strange, she herself was wearing unfashionable track pants, huddled in a school storage room, eating her bento alone.

But she couldn't help but worry about the sunny and easygoing boy.

If she spent too much time with someone like her, they would lose friends too.

It would be terrible to not be with friends right after school started.

"Could it be that Ishikawa-kun doesn't have friends either?"

Thinking this, Gotou Hitori suddenly broke into a smile that seemed to melt from happiness. It was great to meet someone similar, but she immediately shook her head and denied it.

"No, no, that's impossible. Someone like Ishikawa-kun must..."

In her imagination, Ishikawa Hayato, with a bursting smile, returned to a cheering squad of girls, covered in sweat and victory, and cheerfully accepted the drinks they offered.

With a refreshing, commercial-like gesture, accompanied by them...

Gulp.

Her heart couldn't take it!

Her dark inner self was being scorched to death.

Don't think about it, don't think about it.

Gotou Hitori thought to herself, but she couldn't help but feel a bit more intimidated by Ishikawa Hayato. She quietly retreated further into the corner.

Tap tap.

The sound of knocking on the wall.

There was only one person who would remind her with such a playful gesture.

"Pl-please come in."

Even though this wasn't her home, she said it anyway. She found it strange herself.

Ishikawa Hayato also hid in the corner, but he noticed that Gotou Hitori seemed to be sitting further inside than usual today. However, he didn't approach her, and instead sat in his usual spot.

The light from above the stairwell fell across his shoulders.

"Sorry about the other day, for scaring you unconscious."

He apologized again. On Friday, after Ishikawa Hayato had guaranteed his pervertedness, Gotou Hitori's facial features had flown off, and she had fainted.

It had startled him too. Was this something a human could even do?

"Ah... no, it's okay."

Gotou Hitori nodded slightly with her head bowed, and the hand holding her bento box showed no intention of opening.

She didn't even dare to open her bento box before someone else started eating.

Ishikawa Hayato thought, but without much concern, he opened his bento.

Broccoli, cherry tomatoes, tempura, fried chicken, octopus sausages – various foods were arranged in the bento box in a cute manner.

The color coordination and the balance of meat and vegetables showed the care of his family.

He silently thanked his mother in his heart for waking up early that morning and meticulously preparing his bento.

Then, Ishikawa Hayato looked across at Gotou Hitori. She cautiously opened her bento box following his movements, placed it on her lap, took out the thermos containing soup, took out the chopsticks placed next to the thermos, and then held the bento box with both hands gripping the chopsticks.

Her movements were stiff and proper. Her cautious demeanor had a weak and cute charm, as if she were afraid her lunch would be snatched away.

"Itadakimasu."

After a few bites, Ishikawa Hayato noticed Gotou Hitori's face turning pale with nervousness. He glanced at her bento.

"Gotou-san, would you like to trade bentos?"

Trade bentos!

Did something like this just happen?!

Gotou Hitori was shocked.

She knew that on the surface, this was a way for friends to strengthen their bond, but in reality, it was a way to confirm each other's status.

The strong could enjoy the most delicious food from the other's bento, while the weak could only eat the packaging paper to show their submission.

Gotou Hitori began to tremble.

She looked, and the best things in her bento were fried chicken, tomato fish, and golden egg rolls.

In his bento...

There was nothing! No paper for wrapping.

W-what should I do, what should I do.

"Want to trade?"

Ishikawa Hayato asked.

Gotou Hitori nodded heavily.

Ishikawa Hayato held his bento out a bit, letting her start first.

Gotou Hitori nervously extended her chopsticks, picked something up, and put it into her own bento.

Ishikawa Hayato was dumbfounded.

"Why did you take my rice."

His words immediately startled Gotou Hitori, her expression becoming flustered as the hand holding the chopsticks trembled violently.

"Rice... rice isn't okay either?"

She tremblingly returned the rice, then, as if picking up a piece of air, shoved it into her bento.

Ishikawa Hayato held back a laugh.

No wonder Nijika and the others said Gotou Hitori was interesting in the story; indeed, her actions were always unexpected.

Ishikawa Hayato looked at the bento she respectfully offered, and without politeness, took a golden egg roll.

Then, as she was putting it back, he quickly gave her a piece of fried chicken.

"Huh?" Gotou Hitori blinked, her expression instantly recovering.