King of Dirty Talk

[Car, such a fast car!]

[Is this really something we're allowed to watch?]

[Since when did the streamer drive this fast?]

Seeing the Bullet Screen flooding the screen, Zhao Yu realized that he had accidentally stolen zitai's famous "Beijing socialite" moment.

Heaven knew, Zhao Yu had blurted out that response on instinct and hadn't even realized he was making a dirty joke.

Forget it. If the girl minded, he would explain it to her later and send her a red packet in private.

That was the thing about stealing someone else's joke. zitai only needed to think about how to come up with something funny, while Zhao Yu, the one stealing it, had a lot more to consider.

"Boss, you... you're so awful! How could you say something so embarrassing?" The female companion's syrupy, cutesy voice suddenly came through.

"Hm? What? Did I say anything?" Zhao Yu asked in confusion.

"You! I'm not talking to you anymore!" The female companion was instantly at a loss for words, and the voice channel fell silent.

That left Zhao Yu at a loss too. He had only wanted to create some entertaining content. If she had laughed and casually teased him back, he could have kept tossing out jokes.

Instead, she had no intention of continuing the conversation, making things rather awkward.

"Sorry, that's on me. The game's started, so let's play first." After a moment of silence, Zhao Yu could only choose to skip the subject.

"Okay, Boss. Should we help the jungler with red first?" the female companion asked.

"You go. I'm heading to lane," Zhao Yu said.

"Oh, okay." The female companion said nothing else and guided Soraka toward the jungle.

[How boring. Feels like companions lately have all been this indifferent.]

[He's not some huge streamer. What kind of entertainment are you expecting?]

[Too many people hire companions, and most of them are simps. Why would female companions still need to cater to their clients?]

The Bullet Screen began complaining, and Zhao Yu could not help having the same thought.

In 2018, the companion industry was more or less in its booming stage, and it came with a whole pile of problems. Aside from the lack of clear regulations, some companions were putting on increasingly bigger airs.

It was not yet at the point where they completely ignored their clients like they did later on, but they also would not actively start topics or try to please their clients.

Technical companions were fine, but entertainment companions were supposed to provide emotional value to their clients. Acting like this was completely unacceptable.

Unfortunately, there were simply too many people looking for companions. Over time, this became the norm in the industry, and it was not something Zhao Yu could change.

Forget it. He would finish this match first and see how things went... Maybe they would get better once they became more familiar? Zhao Yu sighed.

"Boss, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just help me last-hit."

"Oh... okay."

"How old are you this year?"

"Eighteen."

"Two years younger than me."

The empty conversation nearly put Zhao Yu to sleep. He wanted to say something risqué, but she always acted aloof.

It felt just like those female classmates who always claimed they needed to shower whenever something happened, and it made Zhao Yu miserable.

After thinking it over, he decided to ignore this companion and focus on the match.

As it turned out, this companion's skill was outrageously bad. Whether she was helping him last-hit or healing him, she always seemed a beat too slow. Even someone as good-tempered as Zhao Yu could not help pressuring her.

"Do you even know how to play? Are you wearing Hong Yun Dang Tou under those headphones?"

[What's the Hong Yun Dang Tou joke? Have I been living on Mars?]

[Pfft, hahaha! It's an old Guo advertisement. Hong Yun Dang Tou, 666! He's calling her a pighead!]

[Fuck! I learned something! You can say it like that...]

"Huh? But you were the one who told me to pick Soraka! I'm not even good at her!" the female companion could not help retorting.

"What mechanical difficulty does Soraka have? Can you even miss a Q?" Zhao Yu had no intention of indulging her and continued roasting her.

"You!" The female companion was clearly angry. She muted herself and stopped speaking.

"Fine, go roam. I'll solo bot." Zhao Yu could not be bothered with her. After giving that simple instruction, he focused on laning by himself.

[Has the streamer gone red-hot?]

[I'm dying laughing. Does anyone really expect companions to have skill? Aren't they all there to chat with pretty girls?]

[But this girl really isn't it. She doesn't pick up anything he says, and there's zero entertainment value.]

[I think the streamer's dirty talk is more interesting than interacting with the companion.]

Watching the scrolling Bullet Screen, Zhao Yu suddenly thought of another way to attract viewers.

He controlled Ashe, the Frost Archer, constantly repositioning and easily dodging the jungler's gank. He also killed the enemy marksman who had been left alone before quickly retreating under his tower.

Under the viewers' watchful eyes, he opened all-chat.

Dream of Nine Hundred Million Girls (All): Taking apprentices.

[So arrogant!]

[Hahaha, just as expected, the streamer really has a lot of dirty talk!]

Once he sent that message, the Bullet Screen, which had been thinning out, picked up again. Zhao Yu's lips curled upward. He was putting on a show now.

What followed was an endless barrage of dirty talk, and Zhao Yu successfully drew all of the enemy team's attention onto himself.

Too bad. Not taking you.

Get on the plane.

Scripted match.

Are there any real people here?

Surrender is in the top right corner.

Get an adult from your family to play.

Are you cheating? I mean, mentally.

<My mouse arrives tomorrow. I'm playing with a touchpad.>

Collecting mounts.

Surrender is in the top right corner.

Standard reply: not cheating.

Every time he killed someone, another dirty line popped up in all-chat. Even his teammates could not help complaining.

Spicy Chicken Crisps: Bro, you really aren't afraid of getting focused? How about we call the support back? I'm seriously scared you'll get beaten to death.

Zhao Yu glanced at the chat box and continued typing.

Dream of Nine Hundred Million Girls: It's fine. They don't have the skill, and isn't this perfect? If they all focus me, you guys will have it easy.

Spicy Chicken Crisps: Damn, brother. Then we're counting on you. Draw their fire properly.

After that brief exchange with his teammate, Zhao Yu found that the enemy team had indeed completely lost their minds in rage. Not only the bot duo, but even the jungler and mid laner had come to focus him.

But that also gave his teammates an opportunity. They successfully secured Baron Nashor and won the team fight, even wiping out the enemy team when Zhao Yu had nearly died.

The smile on Zhao Yu's face could no longer be concealed. He quickly typed another line.

Dream of Nine Hundred Million Girls (All): The Pig Bronze Head in the Forbidden City is fake. The real one should be on your necks, right?

Lord Arrogant, What Can You Do to Me: You ****, I ****

Tyrannosaurus Warrior: Call you **, you ***

Countless asterisks filled the all-chat box, and the livestream was instantly brimming with cheer.

The effect of the enemy crystal shattering appeared on screen. Zhao Yu calmly clicked "Continue" as he looked at the word "Victory."

[Hahahaha, Streamer, you're practically a master of sarcasm. You're way better than Madman of Zaun.]

[I respect no one but you. You didn't say a single curse word, and they still got tilted.]

[A master of Chinese language arts?]

[The sensible ones have already started taking notes.]

[I learned it! I'll use that on people next time!]

"You can learn dirty talk, but don't say I taught you, okay? Otherwise I'm afraid the blood will splash on me." Zhao Yu spoke after glancing at the Bullet Screen.

Just then, the female companion, who had been silent for a long time, finally spoke. But what she said gradually wiped the smile off Zhao Yu's face.

"It's finally over. That guy was seriously so annoying..."