Tao Ju kept replaying the ritual's steps in his mind, wondering if he had made some mistake. He also worried that perhaps he had not been devout enough during the prayer, or that using "blood packs" to replenish his blood had been deemed a trick, preventing him from gaining the approval of the ritual's intended target.
He went over every possible mistake seven or eight times in his head, suspicious and worried at every turn, yet unable to find the crucial issue. At that moment, the doubts he could no longer suppress toward Tang Li, who had taught him the ritual, surged up. But stronger still was his profound regret:
Why did I believe him?
Even if I believed him, why was I so eager to do it instead of looking up information and verifying it first?
Did a dog eat my brain?
Thinking it over carefully, Tang Li had already left. He had no reason to get involved with the shithole that was East 824 District again. So perhaps he had merely been joking, and Tao Ju had taken it seriously. Hmm, Tang Li really had said something like "it has nothing to do with me" at the time, a disclaimer of sorts...
Did he want to send me off directly this way and eliminate any future trouble?
Tao Ju could not help considering such things. Yet amid his complicated inner torment, he suddenly realized another extremely practical and fatal problem: while spiraling inward, he had wasted too much time, energy, and vitality. Even the blood packs he had prepared in advance were almost used up. Under the blood pump's effect, dark red blood was still flowing continuously from his body and seeping into the trunk. Should he stop?
If he stopped, all his previous efforts would go to