Book Signing

"Doctor, you've got to save me! I'm still so young—I can't be unable to get it up!"

After finishing his glucose drip, Guo Yuan entered the emergency room and saw a pale young man clutching the doctor's leg and bawling his eyes out.

You were curious why he was crying so miserably. In fact, he was your fellow patient and had also come to the hospital after eating poisonous mushrooms. The mushrooms he ate contained orellanine, which severely damaged kidney function, and he could no longer get it up.

Hearing the voice in his head, Guo Yuan immediately felt a chill down below. Poisonous mushrooms could have that effect too?

After much effort, the doctor finally calmed the heartbroken young man down. He then turned to Guo Yuan and asked, "You're the patient who had diarrhea so badly last night that you collapsed, right?"

"Yes, Dr. Zhao. My mushroom poisoning—"

"It's nothing serious. Your gastrointestinal tract suffered a bit of damage. Once you get home, drink mung bean water for three days to flush out the toxins. For the next month, avoid spicy and irritating foods, and you'll be fine."

The doctor's advice was sound. You should obediently follow it.

Hearing the voice in his head, Guo Yuan hesitated before asking, "Um, Dr. Zhao, did any of the mushrooms I ate yesterday cause hallucinations or nerve damage?"

"No. Why, do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?"

"I think I'm hearing things."

"Hearing things? To be safe, I'll arrange another examination for you."

"Alright, thank you, Doctor."

Guo Yuan took the form to pay the fees. After all that running around, he finally completed every examination.

Throughout the whole process, the voice in Guo Yuan's head never stopped. Every now and then, it would pop up to say something.

The key was, everything it said seemed to be true.

Moreover, the timing and frequency of the voice made Guo Yuan feel as though it were the narration from a novel or TV drama.

By now, Guo Yuan was starting to suspect that one of the mushrooms he had eaten yesterday was some magical variety called a narrator mushroom.

"There's nothing wrong with your test results. Everything is healthy. Can you still hear those voices?" Dr. Zhao asked after reading Guo Yuan's report.

The doctor thought you had simply been frightened. If you said you could still hear the voice, he would recommend that you visit psychiatry.

Guo Yuan's mouth twitched. He shook his head and said, "I can't hear it anymore. It stopped while I was having the examinations."

"That's good, then. You can be discharged. Young man, don't eat mushrooms carelessly in the future. Even if you do eat them, make sure they're thoroughly cooked first."

After thanking the doctor, Guo Yuan left the hospital. He called the event organizers, and shortly afterward, a Volkswagen Tiguan arrived at the hospital entrance to take him to the venue.

The book signing was scheduled from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m., for a total of five hours. It was currently 11 a.m., leaving three hours until the event.

As expected, Guo Yuan did not see any of the organizers who had eaten mushroom hotpot with him the previous day.

The others also tacitly chose not to ask.

Mushroom poisoning was nothing unusual to them. Some of them had even poisoned themselves by eating mushrooms before.

For lunch, the staff thoughtfully arranged a separate serving of millet porridge for Guo Yuan. They were clearly experienced.

At two in the afternoon, the book signing officially began.

When Guo Yuan arrived at the venue, a long line had already formed outside.

At the very front was a pretty girl in a pale yellow knit sweater.

With a sweet smile on her face, she held Guo Yuan's masterpiece and said with a look of worship, "Teacher Guo, hello! I'm a loyal fan of your books."

Who could refuse such a beautiful female fan?

The corners of Guo Yuan's lips lifted slightly into a smile. Just as he was about to speak, the narrator's voice sounded in his head:

This was a lie. She was a plant hired by the organizers. One hundred yuan per person, cash payment after turning left when leaving.

Guo Yuan's smile froze, and for a moment, he did not know what to say.

Fortunately, Guo Yuan's resolve was firm. He was not about to break down over something so minor. He withdrew his smile and signed the title page with bold, flowing strokes.

The girl accepted the book, turned around, and left.

The second person was also a female fan. She said the same thing as the girl before her: "Teacher Guo, hello! I'm your loyal fan!"

This was a lie. Although you were an author and an internet celebrity, you were not very well known. She had no idea who you were. She merely saw the sign advertising a book signing and thought she would buy a book for an autograph. What if the autograph became valuable someday?

Guo Yuan was numb. He glanced at the line behind her and thought, Could everyone who came to this signing be this kind of person?

Fortunately, several of the people farther back in line were genuinely fans of Guo Yuan's books, which gave him some comfort.

Before he knew it, the five-hour signing was nearing its end, with only a dozen or so people left in line.

Over the course of the afternoon, Guo Yuan had signed five hundred names. Half belonged to genuine fans, while three-quarters of the remaining half had merely come to join in the fun. The final quarter were plants.

And all the plants were pretty young women. Guo Yuan guessed that quite a few of those who came to join in the fun had been drawn over by the pretty girls.

Honestly, Guo Yuan was fairly satisfied with those numbers. After all, his work was only just getting started domestically!

"Teacher Guo, I'm a fan of your books. It's nice to meet you." A female voice interrupted Guo Yuan's thoughts.

Guo Yuan looked up and saw a tall woman dressed in office attire.

Her voice was very thin and somewhat unpleasant to listen to, resembling the affected cutesy voice popular online.

"Teacher Guo, I really like you. Can I add you on WeChat?"

She really did like you. In her eyes, you were good-looking, a somewhat famous writer, and probably fairly wealthy too. If she made you her backup, she would look impressive in front of her girlfriends.

Hearing the narration in his head, Guo Yuan handed the signed book to the woman and said, "Sorry, I don't use WeChat."

The smile on the woman's face froze. She snorted and turned to leave.

The fans waiting behind her were all fairly normal. Guo Yuan chatted warmly with them and signed their books, and before he knew it, he had reached the last fan.

He was a young man who looked to be around twenty. He had a crew cut, wore a blue tracksuit, and held Guo Yuan's books in both hands.

"Teacher Guo, I really love The Locked Room Collector. Could you sign both books for me?"

The young man was a die-hard fan of your first book. He had used one of the locked-room methods from that book to viciously get back at CPU, one of his female players, and had nearly sent her to prison.

Guo Yuan was not particularly surprised. Back when The Locked Room Collector was released, many mystery fans in the island nation had already experimentally tried its methods, with a rather high success rate.

As before, he smiled and chatted with the young man for a few moments, then casually signed both books.

After watching the young man leave, this signing event came to a successful conclusion.

Guo Yuan politely declined the organizer's celebration party. His flight was that very night, and he had no desire to experience being dragged around until he collapsed from exhaustion again.

The new book had set sail. Please support it in every way.