This Chat Group's Vibe is a Bit Off

"Calm down. Have a bottle of milk to settle your nerves." Qianyi smiled as he handed over the expired milk.

After confirming that Talulah had drunk it, Qianyi nodded and revealed a triumphant smile. "This is a souvenir. Please accept it."

"Ah, this is too kind of you." Talulah had already given up hope that Alina would survive, yet the moment the newcomer arrived, Alina lived—and he even gave her a gift to mark their meeting.

This was far too embarrassing.

She had just wanted to refuse when Qianyi had already vanished without a trace, leaving only a crate of milk in the snow.

What a nice person. But why did her stomach suddenly hurt?

Steel Prison Big: Problem solved.

Customer Service Xiangzi is at your service: It's good that the problem was resolved perfectly. As expected of Prison Big. That said, shouldn't the newcomer introduce himself?

Steel Prison Big: Just call me Qianyi. Of course, you can also call me Bancho.

Aspiring Magical Girl: Bancho? Are you the boss of some organization?

Lower District Flying Head Barbarian: What does Bancho mean?

Customer Service Little Xiang: Bancho is another term for the boss of an organization. Where we come from, only gang bosses and the leaders of school delinquents are generally called "Bancho." Put simply, Bancho means boss.

I want to eat Mei-flavored instant noodles: Then what does Prison Big mean?

Customer Service Little Xiang: ...

How was she supposed to explain this?

Was she supposed to tell Kiana that a famous basketball player had died in a helicopter crash, so he was called Prison Big?

No, no, no. Since Qianyi had chosen this name, it definitely couldn't be because of something so hellish. There had to be another reason. Maybe the cultures of Earth differed between worlds; perhaps "Prison Big" over there simply meant boss.

Steel Prison Big: It doesn't have any special meaning. I survived a plane crash before, so I became part of the "Prison" generation. On top of that, I was the Captain of the Self-Proclaimed Special Investigation Team back in my hometown—in other words, the boss. With a homophone, it naturally became Prison Big.

Customer Service Xiangzi is at your service: ...

Aspiring Magical Girl: That's so hellish. The fact that you explained it to us so seriously and calmly makes it even more hellish.

I want to eat Mei-flavored instant noodles: Someone who narrowly escaped death after a plane crash naming himself Steel Prison Big... I feel like you'll crash again someday.

Steel Prison Big: Don't worry, Children. I haven't flown on a plane since then.

That was also why, despite his parents working overseas, he had remained in Japan all this time and never left. If he took a plane overseas to live with them, he would probably crash for a second time and welcome the third elbow.

Customer Service Little Xiang: So Qianyi had such a past... But you survived falling from the sky in a crash without a scratch. You really aren't an ordinary person either.

Aspiring Magical Girl: Sigh, Xiangzi, only the two of us in this group are truly ordinary people now.

Artoria Castor was a fairy, Talulah was a dragon, Kiana was a superhuman who could kick through walls and leap several meters high, while Qianyi could heal people with milk and survive a crash from several thousand meters in the air.

Among all you people, the two of us High School Girls stand out as completely out of place!

Steel Prison Big: No, Tina, you aren't an ordinary person. You're the future Emperor of Earth, Bai Wunan!

Aspiring Magical Girl: Huh? Emperor of Earth? Me?

Steel Prison Big: In the near future, you'll awaken magnetic field rot... magical rotational power, blast all the female executives of the evil organization away, then rule over all magical girls and become Earth's greatest Maple Sugar Commander!

Hiiragi Tina fell into deep self-doubt. A ghost-fearing girl like her, who had no friends in real life and was extremely withdrawn, with no interests beyond buying magical girl merchandise—would she really become the Emperor of Earth? The greatest Maple Sugar Commander?

And what even was an Emperor of Earth? It sounded like the kind of cringey title used in Japanese manga from the last century.

Aspiring Magical Girl: Th-that's impossible. There must be some mistake. I'm just a very ordinary student. I'm withdrawn, I have no friends, and I'm not even particularly pretty.

Steel Prison Big: That's only because you haven't discovered your true power yet, Tina. Magical rotational power will soon descend upon you. You are about to become a true God of War, a true Emperor of Earth, a true Maple Sugar Commander! It's time to use your real power to rule the entire world.

Aspiring Magical Girl: Huh?

Hiiragi Tina felt as though her face was full of question marks. What she longed for was to become a magical girl—the kind of heroine who was overwhelmingly powerful, astonishingly wise, loved life, and was both cute and cool, with a perfect transformation. If she could become that kind of magical girl and fight alongside magical girls like that, then even if she died tomorrow, she would die without regrets! Without regrets!

Ahhh, she wanted so badly to meet one—a magical girl. If she could touch one, that would be even better!

"Then, would you like to try transforming?"

A mascot with a black tail marked by a yellow star appeared before her and held out a yellow cross-shaped star. "I am Vinarita. Hiiragi Tina, I hereby grant you the miraculous power of the chosen."

"Ah??"

Having successfully connected with the star transformation device Vinarita had given her, Hiiragi Tina's aura began to surge, surge wildly, surge explosively. The next moment, dark light like that of a Pretty Cure transformation shone all over her body.

Her school uniform vanished, replaced by a surprisingly revealing, demon-like outfit. The instant her transformation was complete, she no longer looked anything like the student she had been before.

Demonic horns adorned her head, and she wore black waist armor split nearly down to the cleft of her buttocks. A white uniform beneath it traced the exquisite curves of her slender, winding waist, while its hanging hem gathered around her shoulder blades. Beneath her broad, pert buttocks extended long legs clad in black stockings.

She was slender and petite, holding a thin whip with a star at its tip. She looked exactly like a female executive of an evil organization.

On her first transformation, there were already two stars on her face. This greatly pleased Vinarita.

"Tina, you really haven't disappointed me."

"Why? Why is it black? This power is completely different from that of a magical girl!"

"Of course it is, Tina. That's because you aren't a magical girl who protects Earth at all—you're a female executive of an evil organization that stands against magical girls!"

Fuck! You mangy donkey, you tricked me!

Could it really be as Qianyi said? Was I destined to become the Earth Emperor? Was that a fate I was doomed never to escape?

If this was a fate I couldn't avoid, then since I couldn't resist it, it seemed I could only enjoy it. As they said: Since life was going to take turns ravaging me anyway, why not enjoy it in a different way?

Her "Enolumida" aura had already caught the attention of Theresmagia's three Magical Girls. Magenta, Azure, and Sulfur were already on their way to kill her.

Vinarita, resembling an upside-down Hyper Zetton, naturally noticed this and urged, "Tina, the Magical Girls are already here. Now, go fight them! Fight, fight, keep fighting forever!"

As long as you fight them once, I'll make ten million copies of footage of you transforming and battling the Magical Girls. If you disobey me then, I'll spread them all over the world for everyone to see!

"You nonsensical thing, stop saying things that insult my intelligence!"

Hiiragi Tina grabbed Vinarita and slammed it to the ground. Before it could react, she unleashed a barrage of punches.

Twenty-Five Heavens of power, Rapid Bullet Punch!

And then—Maple Sugar Explosive Kick!

Vinarita was kicked flying. After rolling several times across the ground, it burst into a shower of yellow stars. After opening its mouth and squeezing its eyes shut in defeat, it collapsed flat on the ground.

"Are these... transformation items?"

Hiiragi Tina picked up the transformation stars Vinarita had dropped, and a bold idea suddenly emerged in her heart.

With these, wouldn't I... wouldn't I be able to make other people transform into Mahou Shoujo—Magical Girls?!

Though those who transformed with them would become female officers of an evil organization, how could Magical Girls be so inconveniently defined!

If they could use magic and were girls, then they were Magical Girls!

Besides, there were special Magical Girls in Magical Girl anime who wielded evil power yet fought for justice. They were Magical Girls too!

"I've decided!"

Hiiragi Tina grinned excitedly and raised a hand toward the sun in the sky. The number of stars on her face began to rapidly increase. "I will accept my destiny, become the supreme commander of the evil organization, become the Earth Emperor who rules everything, and then make everyone in the entire world, everyone—become Magical Girls!"

Today in Tokyo seemed like it would be another cloudless day.

Standing at the entrance to Shujin Private High School, Qianyi reflected on the hard journey of elbowing his way here. To secure even a relatively comfortable space on a packed subway, he had to become the King of Elbows and send every last person who dared encroach upon his territory flying with an elbow strike!

"Year Two, Class E."

Holding the class assignment he had received earlier, Qianyi searched for the teachers' office, intending to report to his homeroom teacher first.

Class E was a good class. In Assassination Classroom, Koro-sensei, said to be the fastest and strongest teacher in history, taught Class E. So when he saw that he had been assigned to Class E, he couldn't help looking forward to whether his own homeroom teacher might be as good a teacher as Koro-sensei.

I hope I meet a good teacher.

Qianyi soon found his classroom. The moment he opened the door, he saw a... no, a thing—no, perhaps something that could not even be called a living creature—standing at the podium.

How should he describe this thing?

It wore a refined, standard faculty uniform. As for its head, he had no idea whether it was wearing some kind of dog-head mask or whether its brain had simply always been shaped like a dog's head. Either way, it absolutely did not possess a posture any human should have.

Qianyi immediately shut the classroom door and began taking deep breaths.

Calm down. The exhaustion of travel must be making me hallucinate. My world is a perfectly normal, peaceful everyday world. A specialty species from some neighboring world shouldn't be appearing here. Even if I take a step back, maybe Talulah mixed Originium into my milk and gave me Originium Infection. How could something that looked half-human, half-dog possibly appear in reality?

Qianyi opened the door again. The dog-headed creature was still there.

"You must be the new student, Qianyi, right? I'm your homeroom teacher. My surname is Xuan, and my given name is Shen. You can call me Teacher Xuan." The dog-headed creature introduced itself.

Holy shit! Xuan!

Do you think you're even a teacher?

Qianyi marveled inwardly. Tokyo truly deserved to be called a big city—these days, any kind of creature could become a teacher. But as a student, he still had to properly greet his teacher.

"Yes, Teacher Xuan. I'm Qianyi."

"Mm, very good. Come over here."

Teacher Xuan beckoned Qianyi over, then forcefully slapped the desk to quiet the students below before announcing something to the whole class. "Today, a new student has transferred into our class. Quiet down. Qianyi, come introduce yourself."

"Hello, everyone. I'm Qianyi, a transfer student from Inaba. Please take care of me."

Qianyi gave his routine introduction, immediately drawing the attention of many girls.

"Eh? Such a stylish handsome guy is actually in our class?"

"Is the transfer student some idol from somewhere? Can you tell us?"

"He just feels way too handsome. How annoying!"

The students' chatter naturally did not escape the teacher's notice, and it could not be tolerated.

Teacher Xuan immediately singled out several girls who were chatting animatedly. "You girls over there! You're really something else. Is high school for dating? You're chirping away here instead of listening properly. Get to the back and stand while you attend class!"

The classroom immediately fell silent.

Teacher Xuan sized up the transfer student. He was handsome and well-groomed, with a calm temperament and black rectangular glasses. One look was enough to tell he was good-student material, aside from his rather severe premature graying.

"Mm, Qianyi, take a look. There are quite a few empty seats in the class. Pick any one you like. You can even choose one of the seats where those students are being punished."

Since several students had been sent to stand at the back as punishment, there were naturally more seats to choose from. But he couldn't bring himself to take someone else's beloved seat, so he chose the seat by the window in the second-to-last row.

The seat by the window in the back row—the King's homeland.

Most importantly, he pushed up his glasses.

This seat had an excellent view, allowing him to take in the entire classroom at a glance. Whether it was the grade dean coming by to inspect or the homeroom teacher on the podium, neither could escape his sharp eyes. More importantly, if anything unexpected happened, he could jump out the window and make a run for it at any time.

"Qianyi, you haven't picked up your textbooks yet, right? Then share one with Nijika for now," Teacher Xuan said.

The next moment, the sound of a desk being moved came from beside him. A blonde girl with a side ponytail sat down next to him, crossed her legs, and placed the textbook between them.

"Hello, I'm Ijichi Nijika. Nice to meet you!" That was the first thing Nijika said.

"I'm Qianyi. Nice to meet you too."

"You haven't played an instrument before—or at least, not in the past few years, right?"

"How did you reach that conclusion?"

"I could tell just by looking at your hands. Were you a guitarist or a bassist before? By the way, I'm a jazz drummer~. Ta-da." Nijika mimed drumming with both hands.

This woman gave off an incredible aura from head to toe—an aura as dazzling as a shining sun. And she was way too familiar with him already!

She was practically a social terrorist.

Qianyi felt like he wasn't very good at dealing with people this enthusiastic.

He'd better look at the chat group in the distance instead.

I want to eat Mei-flavored instant noodles: Can someone teach me how to flirt with girls?

Lower District Flying Head Barbarian: Are you thinking about getting handsy with Raiden Mei again?

I want to eat Mei-flavored instant noodles: No! My feelings for Mei are genuine. Before we've officially established a relationship, I absolutely won't get handsy with her!

Child of Prophecy: That's totally something a player bitch would say.

Steel Prison Big: Regarding that, I think you can try starting with Raiden Mei's predicament. The way you are now, there's no way you'll catch her interest. But if you descended from the sky in an armed helicopter, beat up all the girls in class who bully her, then tossed a weapon into her hands without another word and had her go save Changkong City and Save the World with you... trust me, from then on, she'll be your loser girl and yours alone.

I want to eat Mei-flavored instant noodles: Really? Would that actually work?

Steel Prison Big: No idea. You won't know until you try.