Become a Magical Girl! / Phantom Thief of Hearts (Not Really), Fifth Update

Steel Prison Big: Wrong. I didn't plan to keep this reward all to myself.

I want to eat Mei-flavored instant noodles: Huh? What are you talking about?

Steel Prison Big: If everyone can't become Heracles, then what's the point of me becoming Heracles alone? So I've decided! I'm splitting Heracles into six parts!!

Qianyi took out the Heracles bundle he had drawn and stuffed it into red packets, sending them to every member of the group.

Steel Prison Big: Artoria, you rendered great service in this battle. Heracles' weapon, the Sword of Heracles, is yours.

Child of Prophecy: Huh? For me?

Steel Prison Big: Talulah, you gave so much. Heracles' armor, the "Divine Beast Fur" and "War God Belt," are yours.

Talulah: No, no, no. You've already helped me so much, and now you're giving me this too. I'd feel terrible accepting it.

Steel Prison Big: Seele, you specialize in speed. Take Hydra's Poison, the ultimate poison that killed Heracles.

Lower District Flying Head Barbarian: Even I get something?

Steel Prison Big: Hiiragi Tina, you're good at turning items into monsters that obey your commands. Heracles' summons, such as Diomedes' Man-Eating Horses, the "Monster Bird Arrows," and the Hound of Hades, are yours.

Steel Prison Big: Kiana, Heracles' Body is yours.

I want to eat Mei-flavored instant noodles: Yay! Qianyi, you're the best!

Steel Prison Big: Toyokawa Shoko, you've had it the hardest. Heracles' Twelve Trials are yours.

Customer Service Xiangzi is at your service: Huh? You really didn't need to give it to me. Also, Qianyi, don't tell me you handed everything out again and kept nothing for yourself? I remember you're the one who needs stronger physical abilities and better survival measures most. The twelve lives granted by Heracles' Twelve Trials would be the most useful to you, wouldn't they?

Customer Service Xiangzi is at your service sent a red packet to Steel Prison Big.

She stuffed most of the things Qianyi had given her into it, keeping only a gold bar for herself. That was already more than enough for her fare home.

Steel Prison Big: No need. I kept something better for myself: Heracles' divinity and Noble Phantasm, Heavenly Wind Usurper (Reincarnation Pandora). Those two are the best. And I said it from the start—we are a community of shared fate. I will never enjoy all the glory alone.

With that explanation, he finally persuaded everyone to accept the gifts.

After that wave, everyone in the group had been strengthened and gained a great deal.

The next thing to do might be finding Rhodes Island Pharmaceuticals. No, they did not even need Rhodes Island Pharmaceuticals. They just needed to keep milking the Dimensional Chat Group every day, then force those companies that could only produce Originium Inhibitors to ramp up production. Before they starved to death or shifted industries, they would surely develop something capable of curing Originium Infection sooner or later.

Our future was bright.

But then, a pop-up suddenly appeared in the Dimensional Chat Group, an exceptionally eye-catching red one.

Ding. An anomaly has been detected in point data. The shop gacha system contains excessive parameters. Someone has been detected exploiting illegal bugs and loopholes to farm points.

Initiating automatic recovery and penalty function...

Become a Magical Girl!

Materials suspected of being involved in the offense will be temporarily sealed and confiscated. They will be verified within thirty working days and returned upon confirmation.

Personal items and abilities cannot be recovered or verified. Skipping this process.

Kids, we crashed!

It was as if a helicopter's propeller had stopped spinning at some unknown moment. Dazzling flames suddenly lit up, driving away the darkness, yet that light brought no warmth. Instead, it made everyone feel as though they had fallen into an icy abyss.

The people who had just been sleeping in warm, soft Simmons beds were suddenly standing in the cold night wind in pajamas or underwear, staring at one another in bewilderment.

"What happened?" Toyokawa Shoko, who had just taken off her clothes to go to bed, looked utterly dumbfounded.

Where the hell was that huge castle?!

"I don't know!" Kiana looked around, having no idea what was going on.

"So cold... Why did this happen?" Artoria could not understand it. They had just been happily popping champagne and enjoying their bright future. How had they started freezing in the blink of an eye?

"Calm down." Qianyi soothed everyone while analyzing the situation. "I remember the chat group suddenly activating an automatic recovery penalty function. Could it be that we got caught, and the chat group forcibly confiscated our property?"

"That's very possible." Shoko wrapped her arms around herself and said through chattering teeth.

"More importantly, shouldn't we put some clothes on first?" Talulah looked at Kiana, Shoko, and Artoria, who stood shivering in the cold night wind wearing only underwear. In comparison, Qianyi, dressed in warm pajamas, was clearly much more relaxed.

"That's right! Where are our clothes?! Why are our clothes gone too?!" Kiana shook like a sieve, constantly rubbing herself for warmth. She had just taken off her clothes to sleep, so how had she been tossed outside to freeze in the blink of an eye? The nighttime temperature in Ursus was a full thirty degrees below zero! They could freeze to death.

"Maybe our clothes were also confiscated as illicit gains," Artoria said.

"This chat group strips people naked too?" Kiana scanned the area, then suddenly realized Qianyi was the only one wearing pajamas. "Wait, why are you the only one with clothes on?"

"Calm down." Because he was clothed and relatively warm, Qianyi remained much calmer. "I don't think the chat group would discriminate. I've been wearing pajamas ever since I finished dinner and took a shower. What state were your clothes in before the castle disappeared?"

"I had just taken them off to sleep," Talulah said.

"Me too," Kiana agreed.

"Same here," Toyokawa Shoko added.

"Me too," Artoria said.

Case closed.

Because they had taken off their clothes and were not wearing them, the system had judged them to be things outside their bodies and reclaimed them as debts through the Dimensional Chat Group.

Qianyi spread his hands. "Kids, this is what happens when you like sleeping naked."

"You're the weird one for sleeping without taking your clothes off. Besides, that bed was obviously worth more than my clothes." Kiana complained, but then a cold gust blew over, making her shudder. She curled into a ball on the spot from the cold. Her life had just gotten better, she had just received a huge red packet, and then someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over her head. She could not help but curse. "Aaaah! Dimensional Chat Group, I'm not done with you!! Just you wait!! Aaaaaah!!!"

"What do we do now? We can't just freeze here." Toyokawa Shoko felt as though she was about to freeze to death. "Isn't there some house nearby where we could stay for the night?"

The icy wind blew soundlessly, carrying fine snow dust. In the distance, faint lights flickered in and out of view through the darkness, their outlines blurred. The stars were sparse overhead, and the occasional glimmer looked especially distant and indifferent beneath the heavy night sky.

Clearly, there was not the slightest sign of human habitation nearby, much less anywhere to seek lodging.

"This is Duke's residence. Why would an Ursus duke live among lowly commoners?" Talulah explained. Although the infected did not count as people in Ursus, commoners did not count as people in the eyes of nobles either.

The closest places to the Duke's Mansion had all belonged to nobles and the like. But when those nobles heard the infected were coming, they had fled in terror. Talulah, Qianyi, and the others had confiscated what they left behind and given the houses to Reunion members.

They were probably freezing too now.

"Should we meet up with the troops and borrow some clothes?" Talulah asked.

"Do you think it's appropriate for us to go like this?" Toyokawa Shoko had no desire to let anyone see her in this state.

She would rather freeze than appear before others wearing only pajamas.

Her pride would not allow her to do something like that!

Clearly, the other girls felt the same way.

But enduring the cold here for an entire night was clearly beyond everyone's limit.

It would be great if we had something to wear.

That thought suddenly surfaced in everyone's mind.

Then Kiana suddenly remembered something. "Right, didn't Wutina give us Magical Girl Henshin Devices? If we use those, won't we have clothes to wear?"

"There's that option! Nice one, Kiana." Qianyi gave Kiana a thumbs-up for her earth-shattering wisdom.

"But I remember there were only two Henshin Devices," Shoko asked.

"It's fine. We can ask Miss Wutina for three more," Artoria said with a smile.

The next moment, through the Dimensional Chat Group, five brand-new Magical Girl Henshin Devices appeared in the Boar Princess' hands. Unlike the merchandise sold by the righteous Magical Girl organization Theresmagia, which merely changed clothes and let fans experience magical girl transformations, these were genuine transformation devices for female executives of an evil organization!

"Why are there five? I already have clothes," Qianyi asked the crucial question.

The next moment, he froze, then turned and ran.

"Hmph! Trying to run?" Kiana and Talulah snorted coldly and chased after him.

The human body ultimately had its limits. Before a Herrscher who controlled space and a Terra Superman Drac-Red Dragon hybrid, human legs might as well have been decorative accessories.

In an instant, he was caught by the two of them and pinned to the ground. One began stripping off his jacket while the other tugged at his pants.

"Fuck! Are you two hooligans?! You're stripping me?!" Qianyi screamed. "Talulah, get the hell away from me! Stop pulling my pants!!"

"Oh? You're embarrassed? Does that mean I'm very feminine?" Talulah asked in delight.

Qianyi was startled. He could not imagine Talulah saying something so stupid. "If Shoko or Lia were doing it, I'd be happy. But if it's you, it makes me feel like I'm being targeted in Chengdu. You know, the only thing more unacceptable than an idiot stripping my clothes is a man pulling off my pants."

"Damn it!" Talulah was so angry she nearly breathed fire.

"Damn it, do you think I'm an idiot?!" Kiana was so furious it looked like a lion might leap out of her eyes.

Working together, the two of them stripped Qianyi as easily as if he were a soft little white rabbit, leaving him with only a pair of shorts.

Having seized their spoils, Kiana and Talulah grinned excitedly like victors. One held the jacket and Ksitigarbha over her head and made strange, meaningless noises, while the other held the pants and Persona Summoner, spewing fire from her mouth to liven things up. Then the two repeatedly squatted and stood over Qianyi.

"Have they gone insane?" Artoria asked. It was her first time witnessing such a ridiculous scene.

Were these girls? No, they were not girls. At least, they could not possibly be the same gender as her.

Were they human? No, they did not seem human either. Humans could not do something like this, so the answer was obvious.

I think they might be aliens who invaded Earth and intend to destroy humanity.

"They probably should have gone insane a long time ago." Shoko kept a smile on her face, but inside, it was as though ten thousand alpacas were stampeding through her mind.

One hundred and thirty million. My one hundred and thirty million!!!

If not for the remnants of her self-respect holding up her final line of defense, she would have gone completely insane by now!

"Shoko, catch!"

At that moment, the girl on the verge of despair suddenly heard someone call her. She instinctively held out her hands, and a silver handgun and a red-and-black katana fell into them.

They were the Persona Summoner and Ksitigarbha.

After tossing the items to Shoko, Kiana and Talulah each put on the jacket and pants they had taken, preventing Qianyi from snatching them back.

Looking at Qianyi standing there alone in nothing but shorts, Kiana burst into laughter and declared triumphantly, "Now then, Qianyi, choose! Will you become a Magical Girl like us, or will you be defeated by us here?!"

"If you admit I'm more feminine than Koschei, I'll give your pants back," Talulah immediately added, making an unreasonable demand.

An ordinary person might have yielded in the face of such a desperate situation, but Qianyi possessed Lionheart-level courage. How could he possibly admit defeat so easily?!

Besides, he still had his strongest trump card!

He gave a cold smile and aimed at Talulah, intending to take his pants back first.

"Foolish. Did you really think you could leave me helpless like this?! Let me show you my ultimate Noble Phantasm!"

"Heavenly Wind Usurper (Reincarnation Pandora)!"

In an instant, Talulah felt a little chilly down below.

Phantom Thief of Hearts (not really), Fifth Update

Heavenly Wind Usurper EX: Possessed the ability to seize an opponent's Noble Phantasm, including Noble Phantasms born from stories elevated into legend.

Just moments ago, Qianyi had discovered that one of Heracles' strongest Noble Phantasms had somehow remained. Without hesitation, he chose to fuse with this skill.

He did not know whether it could seize things other than Noble Phantasms, but if he did not use it when the time came, there was no point in having it!

Would he use it? Now! This moment! Right here!

YES! YES! YES!

The Noble Phantasm activated, and Qianyi suddenly felt overwhelming fatigue sweep through his body. But right after that, a sensation of having stolen something surged into his heart, and he was no longer tired.

Come back! My! Clothes!

He used Heavenly Wind Usurper on Talulah and Kiana at the same time. Two items appeared in his hands, but they were not the pajamas he wanted. Instead, they were a bra and a pair of green boxer briefs.

"Why..." Talulah, who had suddenly felt a chilly breeze below, stared at the clothes Qianyi had stolen, fury and shame flooding her face. "Why did you steal that?! Give it back!"

She had never expected it. Never in a million years had she expected Qianyi to be able to retrieve things from a distance and steal her panties.

Damn it! So that was his plan. Does he want to trade my panties for his clothes? I have to admit, your scheme truly is...

"What the hell are these green shorts that look like a military overcoat?" Qianyi looked at the ugly green boxer briefs, glanced around, and asked suspiciously, "Is there a Reunion member nearby?"

He suspected Heavenly Wind Usurper's target lock worked like one of Hidetaka Miyazaki's personal experiences—when he had tried to kiss his girlfriend as a child, but the camera locked onto a dog, so he kissed the dog instead.

Qianyi casually threw them away, and Talulah's expression froze.

Noticing the change in Talulah's expression, Qianyi paused. An unpleasant thought surfaced in his mind, and he hurriedly picked up the underwear that had even less taste than his grandfather's. Then he consoled Talulah. "Uh... so they're yours? Sorry. Um, how should I put this... they're very feminine. Yeah, right, right. I think your underwear is very feminine."

Talulah: "..."

Could you maybe not make the face that says, This thing is like wet garbage from a trash can. I don't even want to look at it, while saying that?

Pfft—!