Shut Up, Evil Dragon, I Don't Want to Have Children with You Again

"Your Majesty flatters me. Come, let's try on the clothes over here first."

"Alright."

On the way to the fitting room with Selena, Leon leaned close to Losweiser's ear and whispered, "You're already the Dragon Queen. Can't you just have her come to your door?"

"Dragon Queens of different clans can only command members of their own clan, while the dragons of Sky City don't belong to any clan."

"Then your status as Queen seems a little low." Leon took the chance to tease her.

Losweiser shot him a glare. "Still higher than yours."

"Tch."

The family of four followed Selena into the fitting room.

Selena picked out a suit and was just about to introduce it to Leon when she noticed...

"Your Majesty, your husband's tail..."

"Ah, my husband doesn't like showing his tail. Please pick out a tailless suit for him."

"Of course, Your Majesty."

As a veteran photographer, Selena had seen all kinds of dragons.

Quite a few disliked showing their tails, so she didn't seem particularly surprised.

She prepared an ordinary tailless suit for Leon, and Leon obediently changed into it.

"Wow~ Daddy looks so handsome in a suit~"

Leon stood just over six feet tall, with a typical inverted-triangle build—the kind who looked slim in clothes but had plenty of muscle underneath.

In over twenty years, he had only worn a suit once: at Dragon Slaying Academy's graduation ceremony.

He himself hadn't thought it looked particularly handsome.

But after the ceremony that day, junior students had lined up to ask him out for meals.

And Leon had earnestly replied:

"I still have to go back and shoe my Master's donkey. Next time for sure."

After hearing about it, Master had held that old donkey at home and smoked all night, unable to figure out what the kid had been thinking.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, Leon looked at himself in the mirror.

He did look far more mature and steady than he had back then.

Mu En wagged his little tail excitedly, staring at his handsome Dad and praising him nonstop.

Leon reached out and ruffled Mu En's hair, then looked toward his "not very talkative" eldest daughter.

Noa froze for a moment, turned her eyes away, and stammered, "Y-yeah, he does look pretty handsome."

A suit was a man's best cosmetic treatment—it enhanced his bearing and showed off his physique.

Since even his eldest daughter said he looked handsome, he must really have looked rather good.

Only then did Leon smugly turn to Losweiser.

The Queen examined him seriously, then finally nodded and gave her assessment.

"Without a tail, it really does still look a little strange."

Dragon Queen, I'll never put on a tail for the rest of my life!

After choosing Leon's clothes, Selena also selected a formal gown for Losweiser.

The gown was off-the-shoulder and entirely black, with dark red accents at the waist and hem, adding a touch of mysterious elegance to its solemn air.

But because it was off-the-shoulder, the neckline was somewhat low, revealing a tiny bit of her dragon-mark pattern.

Losweiser shyly covered her chest. "Teacher Selena, could I change into one with a slightly higher neckline?"

"Certainly, Your Majesty."

Selena smiled, as though her smile were saying, "Young people these days really know how to have fun."

Leon took the chance to sidle up beside Losweiser, lowering his voice. "When are we getting rid of that annoying dragon mark? It makes even taking photos inconvenient."

"Shut up. Once a dragon mark is carved on, it can't be removed."

Leon shrugged and said no more.

In the end, Selena chose another well-fitting gown for Losweiser.

Naturally, the two daughters weren't left out either.

Their clothes were easy to choose—if one was satisfied, the other surely would be too.

After more than half an hour of preparation, the family of four was finally ready to take their pictures.

The first photo would be a family portrait.

Leon held Mu En, while Losweiser held Noa. The two stood shoulder to shoulder.

Through the camera lens, their positioning and posture were perfectly standard.

It just... didn't really look like they were taking a family portrait.

Selena lowered the camera and politely said, "Your Majesty, could I ask you and your husband to strike a loving pose?"

The unlucky couple froze at the same time.

Losweiser: "A loving..."

Leon: "Pose..."

Selena smiled and nodded. "Mm-hmm, that's right. It has to be the super~~~~ loving kind."

The two glanced at each other, then turned their heads away at the same time.

Losweiser cleared her throat twice. "Teacher, do you have any pose recommendations?"

Selena thought for a moment, then replied, "Generally speaking, a married couple should be a little intimate, but not gaudy. So things like hugging, touching noses, gazing deeply into each other's eyes, and so on."

Hugging.

Touching noses.

A deep, loving gaze.

Good grief, teacher, you might as well just kill us.

Seeing that the two were rather embarrassed, Selena was puzzled as well.

They'd already gone as far as dragon markings, so what was wrong with getting a little closer for a photo?

Young people were impossible to understand.

"If none of those work, then you two can make a heart with your tails."

"Make a heart with our tails..."

"Mm, yes. It's very cute and playful."

Losweiser glanced at Leon. There was no time to stick a tail on this guy now.

But after thinking it over, making a heart seemed to be the only gesture they could accept.

Hiss...

What should they do?

"Can I use my hand, teacher?"

Leon said, "My wife can use her tail, and I can use my hand. We should still be able to make a heart, right?"

Selena raised her brows, then praised him. "Good idea. It's a pose I've never tried before. Come on, get ready, you two—we'll take it like this!"

Leon's suggestion was a fairly good compromise.

They could maintain the appearance of a harmonious family in front of outsiders, without him having to go against his wishes and put on an awkward tail.

Though Losweiser found it somewhat speechless, there truly wasn't a better solution than Leon's proposal under the circumstances.

She slowly raised her tail, curling its tip into half the outline of a heart and bringing it between them.

Leon also held out his hand, curling his four fingers slightly toward his thumb to form the other half of a heart.

Their hand-and-"tail" heart looked rather good, but the two hesitated as though neither of them was quite willing to make physical contact with the other.

Oh, come to think of it, that was normal.

Neither of them had any dating experience.

Putting aside all that other nonsense, they were merely two people who had accidentally held hands once.

Innocent as could be~

"Your Majesty, isn't it ready yet?" Selena urged.

"Ah, it's ready, it's ready. Just a moment."

As Losweiser answered, she glared at Leon and lowered her voice. "Be serious. Stop moving around."

"I'm not moving around. Your tail is the one not cooperating."

"My tail is plenty flexible. Unlike you, all timid and shrinking back."

Leon immediately took offense at that.

With his other hand, he directly pinched the tip of Losweiser's tail, lined it up with his heart-shaped hand, and finally got the pose into place.

Below the frame, Losweiser secretly gave the outside of Leon's thigh a hard pinch and gritted out, "Don't. Touch. My. Tail."

Having her tail grabbed by this bastard always brought back unpleasant memories of that night for Losweiser.

"Good~ good~ good~ That's the pose! Don't move, don't move~"

Selena raised her camera and aimed it at the family of four. "The husband and wife, give me a smile—smile a little. Yes, that's it~ The little princesses can strike whatever pose they like too~ Mm, very nice~"

Click—click—

White flashes went off several times in succession.

Selena took quite a few shots so she could pick the most suitable one later.

"All right, thank you all for your cooperation. Next, we'll be taking Princess Noa's enrollment photo."

Mu En was very sensible. The moment she heard that her eldest daughter's enrollment photo was being taken, she jumped straight down from her seat, ran to the side, and waited obediently.

Selena also took Noa to change into a more formal little-dragon-style Western dress.

A family portrait could be dressed warmly, but an enrollment photo still needed to be a little more serious.

Once she had changed, Noa stood between Leon and Losweiser, ready for the photograph.

Saint Hiss Academy had strict assessment standards for families, so the enrollment photo had to include not only the student applying, but also the student's parents.

The hapless couple and the iceberg little bird dragon all straightened their backs. They did not even dare breathe too deeply, their three pairs of eyes fixed on the camera in unison, with barely any expression on their faces.

Selena looked at the three faces in the viewfinder and somehow felt that something was off.

Serious... they were certainly serious.

But it seemed they had gone a little too far.

It did not quite look like an enrollment photo. If you cropped out the three of their faces and turned them black and white, a hundred years later they could be hung directly at a funeral.

"You three, being serious is fine, but relax a little too. Otherwise, it looks too unnatural," Selena suggested.

"Understood, teacher."

Selena really had it rough—how had she ended up with such a hapless family?

The husband and wife were mortal-enemy rivals, while the daughter was a cool kid by nature who simply did not like to smile.