I Believe You, My Ass

"What? You want to learn magecraft and combat skills from me?"

Inside Meslamtaea, the Temple of Heat, the goddess Ereshkigal looked at the snake coiled atop the blanket to help cool her down, as well as the writing slate wrapped in its tail, her expression full of surprise.

Mm-hmm!

Lin Xian immediately nodded, affectionately brushing his head against his owner's hand, looking utterly docile and tame.

Recently, after careful consideration, the ancient serpent had reached a conclusion.

To return to the surface, spread the faith of the primordial Mother Goddess Tiamat, and clear her name, the first preparation he needed was—at least some ability to protect himself!

Mesopotamia was facing an unprecedented crisis. The monster tide, the Three Goddesses Alliance, and the human city resistance forces were all tangled together in a complicated web.

If he foolishly plunged headfirst into it, he could easily become a "cruel" appetizer.

At present, he was Mother Goddess Tiamat's only remaining connection to the Mesopotamian world.

If he did not want everything to go off the rails and end in disaster, he had to proceed cautiously and make thorough preparations.

But then again, this was the worst of times, yet also the best of times.

The crisis of the Three Goddesses Alliance and the monster tide also presented Lin Xian with an opportunity to fish in troubled waters and secretly restore Goddess Tiamat's reputation.

Back to the point: you had to eat one bite at a time and walk one step at a time.

To achieve the great goal in his heart, he first needed to master the skills necessary to stay alive.

However, in response to her pet's request, his owner merely stroked the top of his head and replied with complete confidence.

"Little one, with me here, the Underworld is perfectly safe."

I believe you, my ass! That face of yours always lets me down at the crucial moment. How is that supposed to be convincing?

Safe? In the history I know, Tiamat stormed ashore and turned the Underworld upside down. You nearly couldn't even save yourself!

Lin Xian flicked his tongue, grumbling inwardly.

Of course, to avoid being stewed into snake soup, he did not dare tell the truth. He extended his tail, picked up a stone stylus, and scratched out a line of words.

"But I still want to become stronger!"

Lin Xian paused, raised his head, and put on a solemn expression with his tiny snake face.

"So I won't let Lady Ereshkigal lose to that awful goddess in the sky!"

Huh? I would lose?

No, no! When had I ever lost to Ishtar?!

Hearing such outrageous nonsense, the Underworld Goddess was instantly enraged, like a golden Persian cat with its fur standing on end.

"I clearly won last time! She barged into the Underworld, and I captured her and taught her a lesson. Was that not enough?!"

The ancient serpent hesitated for a moment before sheepishly displaying the writing slate.

"That was because Ishtar did not bring her Bull of Heaven, Gugalanna, last time..."

"If that overpowered divine beast descended, then even with your home-field advantage and authority over the Underworld, you would definitely lose..."

Ereshkigal gave a dark, cold smile, just about to tear this absurd argument to shreds.

However, upon hearing the name "Gugalanna," the goddess's fury caught in her throat. In the end, she stiffly held up her pale neck and gave an indistinct snort.

"Well, what is there to be proud of in relying on a mere beast? Besides, it is not even her private property."

"A loss is a loss. Only foolish and arrogant people make excuses for themselves!"

The goddess did not directly answer the question of victory or defeat. Then, narrowing her eyes with a smile, she squeezed out a malicious question through clenched teeth.

"Now then, who said all that...?"

"The newest batch of souls entering the Underworld. Some of them were discussing it..."

"Um, it seems the rumors first spread from around several ranches attacked by monsters..."

The wording used by a certain little troublemaker had deliberately vague implications.

And in Babylonian mythology, Ishtar, who possessed the authority of Heaven, and Ereshkigal, who ruled the subterranean Underworld, were twin goddesses who stood united yet opposed.

Since the birth of the Mesopotamian world, the two had held grudges against each other. They were practically old enemies who could never stand the sight of one another.

"Beast Calamity? Ranches? I knew it!"

"That spoiled madwoman still has not learned her lesson, even after descending into this world?"

"What is so great about being able to command Gugalanna? It is not even her own power!"

Ereshkigal's pearly teeth ground together, though her words carried a trace of resentment and jealousy.

Those herdsmen had not been having an easy time lately. They had to guard against monster attacks while also enduring Ishtar's raids.

Even if the news had spread from the ranches, the badly afflicted ranch owners would have loved for someone to punish that awful goddess. Why would they speak well of her?

Therefore, there was an eighty or ninety percent chance that Ishtar, her old rival, had defeated the monsters, descended before the herdsmen, and in her smug desire to show off, left behind those arrogant words!

Such behavior fit that woman's personality perfectly. It had to be her slandering me!

The Underworld Goddess, who had long held a grudge against Ishtar, indeed completed the entire chain of reasoning in her own head and pinned the blame on her old rival.

Seeing the indignation on his owner's face, Lin Xian secretly grinned, savoring the pleasure like drinking sour plum soup in the sweltering heat of summer.

Ever since arriving in this damned place called divine-age Mesopotamia, he had been taking the blame nonstop. At last, he could set someone else up for once.

As for whether his owner would investigate it herself, Lin Xian was not worried.

Over this period, he had been stirring up trouble everywhere. Not only had he gathered intelligence about the surface from countless ghosts, but he had also casually brought up both Ereshkigal and Ishtar.

With no entertainment to speak of, comparing the strength and rank of certain special beings had always been a topic that easily sparked heated discussion among humans.

Rumors passed from one mouth to another like this had no traceable source at all.

Of course, driving a wedge between the goddess sisters Ishtar and Ereshkigal was not his true purpose.

"Lady Ereshkigal, are all the gods in the Three Goddesses Alliance this awful?"

"Why did Sumer's guardians abandon us?"

The ancient serpent asked with an innocent look, his voice filled with confusion and bewilderment.

"Do not put me in the same category as her. Ishtar is not—"

Still angry, Ereshkigal instinctively began to answer. But when she reached a certain point, a chilling Golden Light Pattern emerged from her chest and embedded itself into her flesh.

At the same time, the faint sounds of thunder and storms came from above, making his owner's face turn pale as she hurriedly shut her mouth.

Only after that restrained, unactivated power gradually dispersed did Ereshkigal loosen her clenched fingers from the spear wheel and let out a relieved breath.

After calming herself, Ereshkigal lowered her gaze to the pet that had been suppressed by the divine power of the contract and collapsed into a limp heap. With a hint of apology, she scooped him up and murmured softly.

"In any case, there are other circumstances behind the Three Goddesses Alliance. It cannot simply be judged by good and evil alone. You will understand these things someday."

Lin Xian nodded seriously, a trace of lingering fear flashing deep within his vertical snake pupils.

That risk had uncovered two important pieces of information.

First, although history had taken a different turn, Sky Goddess Ishtar was not a member of the Three Goddesses Alliance.

That equally dishonest madwoman was still secretly hunting monsters and protecting the ranches and the Sumerians in her own "troublemaking" way.

Of course, it was not free.

Demanding payment through raiding to prevent humans from becoming dependent on her was not exactly wisdom or kindness worth boasting about for a goddess.

Second, the outcome Lin Xian feared most had still come to pass.

Earth Goddess Ereshkigal, Ishtar's counterpart, had still become one pillar of the Three Goddesses Alliance.

And this contract forbidding mutual betrayal seemed even harsher and more airtight than before.

Merely revealing a few peripheral secrets of the Three Goddesses Alliance had nearly brought divine punishment upon Ereshkigal!

"By the way, you said just now that you wanted to become stronger?"

As the ancient serpent pondered, Ereshkigal, deliberately avoiding the subject, blinked and made an awkward change of topic.