The System's Tricks

"Ding—"

"Task issued: Host, please make Xiao Yan lose face at the Miter Auction House and get beaten up. Note: The host's strength is too high, so you cannot do it yourself. Reward upon completion: 8,000 experience points, 50 Prestige Points."

"Xiao Yan will be there too?" Xiao Huo asked. He had thought that after that bastard Xiao Yan fell into a cesspit, he would rest for a couple of days. He had not expected him to still be so active.

Looks like he was asking for another beating.

"He will, Host. The Pipi Experience Pill and Pipi Super Experience Pill have already caused a huge uproar in Wutan City. Xiao Yan naturally will come after hearing the news," the system said.

"Mm." Xiao Huo nodded, a cold gleam flashing through his eyes. At the thought that he would soon get to deal with Xiao Yan, his entire body stirred with excitement.

Not only was he going to deal with him!

He was going to beat him half to death!

Of course, he could not let Xiao Yan really die. He had to make him unable to live or die, humiliate himself before everyone. A smirk curled across Xiao Huo's lips.

With me around, wouldn't Xiao Yan be played to death?

Even Old Yao would be useless!

"System, open the Panel." Xiao Huo said. This was a major operation. Since he could not beat anyone himself, he had to make thorough preparations and properly deal with Xiao Yan.

"Ding, Panel opened successfully."

Host Name: Xiao Huo

Age: 18

Length: Short and thin

Level: Dou Master Three Stars

Cultivation Techniques: Dong Dong Bo, Sucking Palm

Weapon: 6cm short gun

Pills: 4 Pipi Small Experience Pills, 4 Pipi Super Experience Pills

Treasures: Plunder Gold Coin Card (Note: Can steal gold coins from anyone.) Dou Emperor Yun Yun Trial Card (Permanent use)

Harem: Xiao Xun'er, Nalan Yanran (engaged), Ya Fei (awaiting bed status), Xiao Mei (infatuated status)

Experience Points: 0

Prestige Points: 200.

"..." Xiao Huo.

"Short and thin? System, do you have some problem with me? Even though I'm handsome, you can't be jealous and slander me like this." Xiao Huo complained.

"Waaah, waaah, waaah, I was only telling the truth~~ Big Brother Oni-chan is throwing a tantrum again. Hmph, Miss System is so wronged, QAQ." The system's gentle voice rang out.

"I, Xiao Huo, would rather starve to death, die outside, or jump off this place than use the system even one more time!" Xiao Huo gritted his teeth viciously. This system had no respect for people at all!

He had a harem of three thousand beauties, yet it dared to call him short and thin?

"Big Brother Oni-chan is angry, hehehe..." The system giggled, sounding not the least bit upset—in fact, it sounded rather pleased with itself.

"This system has become sentient..."

"System, open the Shop. I want to buy something." Xiao Huo considered it for a moment. He still needed to buy a few things, even though he did not have many Prestige Points.

"Ding ding—Big Brother Oni-chan can't even last three seconds!"

"Shop opened successfully."

"Pipi Aphrodisiac, 20 Prestige Points. Note: Can be used on anyone within five meters."

"Pipi Virility Pill, can increase length and endurance..." Xiao Huo glanced at it and directly ignored the listing. With his length, did he need this pill?

"Invisibility Card, 60 Prestige Points. Can turn invisible for 1 hour."

"Self-Abuse Card, 60 Prestige Points. Note: Can be used on an opponent to make them slap their own face.

"Dog Bark Card, 60 Prestige Points. Note: Can be used on an opponent to make them bark like a dog."

"Berserk Card, 60 Prestige Points. Note: Can be used on an opponent to make them automatically perform a pole dance."

"Dionysus Card, 60 Prestige Points. Note: Can be used on an opponent to make them go on a drunken rampage..."

"..."

Wutan City, on the streets.

People flowed back and forth.

Xiao Huo's eyes lit up, and a smug smile appeared on his lips. The treasures in this system Shop were truly Divine Artifacts! The effects of these cards were far too powerful!

They were custom-made for Xiao Yan!

If Xiao Yan stripped naked and went on a drunken rampage in the streets... then chased dogs all over the city... The image was too beautiful. Xiao Huo did not dare imagine it.

"System, buy them all! I want all these cards!" Xiao Huo looked extravagantly wealthy as he stared at them with affection. Every single treasure was top-notch!

They were essential tools for dealing with Xiao Yan! Not one could be left out!

"Ding—Purchase failed. The host's balance is only 200 Prestige Points, which isn't enough to buy so many cards." The system's giggling laughter rang out.

"Damn..."

"I used it all to buy the Yun Yun Trial Card, and now I'm broke..." Xiao Huo pondered with a solemn expression. "It's too late to show off now. The auction is about to begin."

"System, can you cut me some slack?" Xiao Huo asked helplessly. He had just said he would not rely on the System, yet here he was again, shamelessly coming back to it...

"Miss System refuses to cut you any slack. Host is too short!" the System's voice said.

"Miss System, you're truly beautiful," Xiao Huo praised.

"Men are all big pig trotters. None of what they say can be trusted. This System has seen very clearly every time Brother Oni-chan flirts with other girls," the System said.

"You really can't cut me some slack?" Xiao Huo asked.

"No," the System responded coldly.

"I'm angry."

"Being angry is useless too. Miss System refuses to cut you any slack."

Xiao Huo spread his hands.

This System—today, I'm going to teach you a lesson!

If she had not been some intangible System, Xiao Huo would have long since pinned her viciously to the bed and let her experience what length and width truly meant!

"Fine. I quit. Go find yourself another host." Xiao Huo spread his hands, directly picked up a dagger, and stabbed it toward his abdomen.

"Ah?" The System was startled. Before she could react, Xiao Huo's dagger had already pierced his abdomen, and traces of crimson blood seeped out.

"Brother Oni-chan, don't do this... I was wrong... Don't... don't kill yourself. I... I can only bind to one person. If you die, I'll disappear too, QAQ..." the System cried out in panic.

She had never expected Xiao Huo to attempt suicide without the slightest hesitation?!

"What did you say? I didn't hear you," Xiao Huo said blandly.

"I was wrong..."

"I was wrong~~ Brother Xiao Huo... You can't kill yourself... Brother Xiao Huo, you're the best~~" the System coquettishly pleaded, her voice soft and gentle.

"Ding—The System has gifted the host one copy each of all cards and pills. Brother Xiao Huo, don't be angry anymore. I was really wrong. Sorry, sorry..." The System sounded terribly aggrieved.

"Mhm. From now on, who's the biggest?" Xiao Huo asked.

"Brother Xiao Huo is the biggest," the System said softly, still somewhat frightened.

"Who will you listen to from now on?"

"I'll listen to Brother Xiao Huo's..."

"When I turn you into a human someday, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Hmph... I already am."

Xiao Huo smiled smugly. He had finally subdued the System. A mere System wanted to fight him? Impossible.

You would never be able to guess Brother Huo's tricks!

Crack.

Xiao Huo pulled out the dagger, and the System was slightly startled... There was not a single wound on Xiao Huo's body. Instead, a blood-filled bag fell to the ground.

"Ahem... Don't get worked up. It's artificial plasma," Xiao Huo said with a smile.

"..."

"MMP!" the System said.