Please Conduct Yourself with Dignity

For the first time in her life, Su Qi felt that money was so important.

Without money, she could not even afford a pair of panties.

It truly was as the saying went: a penny could stump a hero.

In response to Su Qi's plea for help, the system silently opened the Taobao app for her and checked the categories for panties and bras.

The cheapest panties cost 5,800—a pair of pure cotton Rare Purity Panties. The most expensive was a pair of custom silk lace black Wen Yun underwear. From its hollowed-out design in the middle, Su Qi could tell it was not anything respectable. It cost 1.2 million.

Bras were even more expensive. It took 8,888 to buy a cotton sports bra.

Su Qi complained to the system inwardly: How could such a tiny piece of cloth possibly cost so much? And that 1.2-million erotic underwear too.

The system said it could understand Su Qi's hatred of evil, but did not accept her protest. It objected somewhat indignantly, "Host, this system's products are guaranteed to be comfortable. They come with sterilization and self-cleaning functions, as well as hidden attribute bonuses. Most importantly, they are all manufactured by this system, so you can rest assured of their quality."

Listening to the system say such tsundere words in such a flat tone, Su Qi decided not to argue with it.

Left with no other choice, Su Qi began searching the room for usable fabric. At the very least, she could not let her school uniform look so obviously strange.

Su Qi only hated herself for not bringing a scarf or a pair of pants when she left the dorm. If only she had something she could wrap around herself!

Wrap around herself!!

At that moment, Su Qi suddenly thought of the black stockings Wang Yun had left behind before she departed, which Su Qi had been reverently displaying on an otherwise empty clothes hanger.

She took the treasure gifted by the girl-next-door big sister from the hanger with both hands. Unfortunately, it had completely lost its scent from back then, as well as its warmth.

After taking off her school uniform, Su Qi folded the stockings flat and began wrapping them around her chest, layer by layer.

Su Qi had seen plenty of domestic dramas where women disguised as men wrapped their chests in circles with white cloth strips. But she was probably the first person to bind her chest with stockings—black stockings, no less.

Even while binding her chest, she did not forget to joke about it. Su Qi felt that she really had a big heart!

Looking at her jade rabbits wrapped in black silk, abused until they looked utterly pitiful, Su Qi even wanted to let the black silk come forward and bully them some more.

On her first attempt at binding herself, Su Qi declared failure. The reason was that she had underestimated her own size. A C cup referred to a female cup size with a difference of around fifteen centimeters between the upper and lower bust measurements.

A neatly folded stocking was only about a meter long. Even with Su Qi's slender waist, it only went around twice.

This time, Su Qi wisely extended the length. Looking at the aggrieved appearance of her two rabbits being forcibly pressed flat, Su Qi nodded in satisfaction and put her school uniform back on. This time, it looked just like it normally did.

The strange friction against her chest was gone as well. If there was anything odd, it was the side effect of feeling short of breath.

Su Qi carried the lunchbox in her hand. Thinking about how she had no panties on her lower body while hiding a stocking on her upper body, she felt both ashamed and thrilled by the novelty.

Without the green hood of her sweatshirt to conceal her, Su Qi lowered her head deeply, terrified that someone would notice her.

But what she feared came true. When Su Qi's elevator reached the eighth floor, a family of three got in.

The husband and wife had brought along a little boy around three or four years old. He was very active, but not annoying, with an innocent and lively look.

He held two candies in his hand. Seeing Su Qi lower her head with a gloomy expression, he looked up at her and asked in the sweet, adorable voice unique to children:

"Big brother, do you want candy?" His eyes were like black pearls, darting around as he looked utterly cute and obedient, enough to make anyone adore him.

Under normal circumstances, Su Qi might have chatted with him for a while. But right now, she only wanted to be invisible and make herself as inconspicuous as possible.

She gave the little boy a gentle smile, then shook her head.

The little boy had not expected the big brother before him to be so beautiful when she smiled—prettier even than his own mother. She was the prettiest big brother he had ever seen in his life, and she was so gentle too.

He lost his balance and plopped right down onto Su Qi's shoe!

The parents, who had been chatting off to the side, hurried over.

"I'm so sorry! The child doesn't know any better. He's a little naughty. Are you okay?" the man asked Su Qi.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm not hurt either," Su Qi said in a hoarse voice.

But unexpectedly, her deliberately disguised voice attracted the young couple's attention instead.

After giving her a closer look, both of them sucked in a cold breath at the same time. The woman had been about to speak, but it was as though someone had hit her mute button.

It was only after the elevator descended another floor that she barely recovered. Her eyes sharply darted toward her husband, who was still staring at Su Qi.

Jealous, she drove her elbow into her husband's side. The blow made the man bare his teeth in pain; it looked like she had put some real force into it.

Being scrutinized made Su Qi increasingly nervous. Especially with the empty feeling of not wearing underwear, she instinctively pressed her legs together for a greater sense of security. Yet she did not notice it herself and continued looking down.

"Big brother, your shoe got squashed. It isn't broken, is it?" The little boy patted his butt and got up from Su Qi's shoe, but the shoe did not return to its original shape for a long time.

Su Qi wiggled the toes on her right foot, trying hard to prop up the size-forty-two shoe. Unfortunately, her foot had become too small to reach, so she could only squat down and fix it. After she squatted, the observant little cutie discovered Su Qi's secret.

"Big brother, why are your pants so smooth? Is it because you aren't wearing little underwear?" Hearing the innocent, adorable voice of the little child, Su Qi's body stiffened and cold sweat broke out.

No wonder people said children had sharp observational skills. That was absurdly sharp!

The child's mother gave the little cutie a knock on the head and said, "How could such a grown-up sister not wear underwear? Do you think she's like you?"

Then she smiled apologetically at Su Qi. "The child doesn't know any better. I'll give him a beating when we get home!"

Was high-end education always this simple and unadorned?

The little child still did not know his fate, and continued with shocking words. "Big brother, I'm not wearing little underwear either. We're the same!"

"What big brother? She's a big sister. Your sister is wearing a thong. What would a little brat like you know?" The young woman smacked the little cutie's butt, producing a loud slap.

The little child was extremely curious. Instead of asking why his mother had hit him, he asked, "Mom, what's a thong? It sounds really cool. Can I wear one?"

His words made both young parents burst out laughing.

Fortunately, the elevator doors finally opened at that moment. Otherwise, Su Qi felt she would have died of embarrassment!

She just had not expected thongs to be such a miraculous excuse.

Speaking of thongs, Su Qi had initially liked this sort of setup quite a lot, until someone in the group chat said:

"Do you know? That string on a thong—it reeks."

Su Qi did not know which dialect "it reeks" came from, but that did not affect her understanding of its meaning. Because of that, she gradually gave up writing thongs into her stories.

She had never expected that today, someone would suspect her of wearing a thong. Reality truly was impossible to predict!

At that moment, the system suddenly chimed in. "The host's current body can handle a thong perfectly. There is no need to worry about odors."

Su Qi asked doubtfully, "Why? Could it be because I have good wiping habits!?"

When Su Qi's father had suffered from hemorrhoids during her childhood, she had watched him endure terrible pain. She learned that aside from inflammation caused by excessive spicy food and alcohol, a major cause was not wiping clean enough after using the toilet.

Su Qi had secretly sworn to pay attention to personal hygiene, and she had even specifically consulted a nurse. The nurse had carefully explained everything to the young Su Qi, who had looked so earnest and eager to learn.

When normal people wiped, they only did so in one direction, unaware that plenty of filth remained in the other direction. The left and right sides could also get dirty. All of those areas needed to be cleaned. Otherwise, the string on a thong would stink.

As for how to clean properly, men could spread everything wide and wipe repeatedly. Women needed to pay attention to the direction they wiped, or they might trigger inflammation.

Thinking of the nurse's words from back then, along with her father's exaggerated image of clutching his butt, everything remained vividly clear in Su Qi's mind.

Su Qi could not help feeling a little nostalgic. She did not know whether she missed her father, or the days when he had hemorrhoids.

"Please do not educate this system about your strange wiping posture. Although you are correct, and it can greatly reduce hemorrhoid problems in middle age, it is completely unnecessary for the current host to pay attention to such matters!?"

"Why?" Su Qi asked back!

"Has the host used the toilet for a bowel movement in the past few days?"

Prompted by the system, Su Qi realized that ever since obtaining the system, she truly had not had a bowel movement. Her stomach was still as flat as ever.

Could it be that—"That's right, just as the host thinks. The host currently does not need to worry about excretion. This system uses the host's bodily waste to provide nutrients for Lingering Fragrance, thereby solving the host's problem. However, urination will still proceed normally!" Su Qi heard a hint of tsundere pride in the system's words.

It seemed to be asking for praise.

"Not being able to have a bowel movement certainly saves a lot of trouble. But it also takes away some fun," Su Qi said. What she meant was the immersive experience of using the bathroom.

But she had not expected the system to misunderstand.

The system paused for a moment, seemingly wondering what kind of fun was missing, before making an explosive declaration: "Rest assured, system. Although bowel movements are unnecessary, it does not interfere with the use of organs."

Su Qi looked puzzled. If she could not have a bowel movement, what use was there? Then she heard the system continue, "It does not interfere with any form of play!"

Su Qi wore an expression of utter shock, one worthy of being turned into a saved JPG reaction image.

"I never thought you were this kind of system!"

"All options in this system originate from the host's subconscious. Please conduct yourself with dignity!"