Congratulations on Your Birth Today, Go Try to Force a Kiss on Mobius!

(The author has a Honkai Impact fanfiction of over a million characters and four years of writing experience, so the quality is guaranteed.)

(To enhance the plot effect, some original Honkai Impact storylines will be slightly adjusted in this book, such as the time of Honkai's birth, the location of Herrschers' appearance, etc. Please do not argue, do not argue, do not argue.)

(Do not argue, do not argue, do not argue.)

Shenzhou, an underground laboratory somewhere in Changkong City.

"Doctor, is it really okay for us to abandon everyone at headquarters and run off to Changkong City like this?"

The blue-haired assistant, carrying a large box on his back, looked at his doctor with a worried expression and advised, "If we get caught and taken back, our experimental funding will only be less than it is now..."

"What do you know?"

The green-haired doctor said indifferently, "Those lunatics at headquarters simply don't understand its value. Staying there would only drag down my experimental plans."

"But Doctor... if we sneak away to Shenzhou, no one will approve our funding..."

"This... ahem, Blanca, I've never asked you for anything in my life..."

"But Doctor Mobius, I've given you all my savings to buy this underground laboratory, I don't even have money for tomorrow's meals..."

"Uh... ahem, ahem, ahem, ahem, we have to look at things on the bright side. This laboratory is a bit expensive, but at least the equipment is complete. For our meals for the next month... hmm, let's eat instant noodles first. I brought a lot of these from headquarters."

"Doctor..."

"Great! Since you have no objections, then it's happily settled."

"..."

"In short, Blanca, go install the experimental equipment first, and put 'it' in the incubator. I'll go make you some instant noodles."

To this, the blue-haired woman named Blanca could only resign herself to fate.

Assembling instruments was easy for Blanca, but what bothered him was the heavy box she had carried over.

'It' inside the box was the experimental subject that Mobius was willing to research alone, even if it meant leaving the Fire Moth headquarters.

Blanca placed his hand on the box, feeling that as soon as he opened it, the gears of fate would begin to turn...

Blanca shook his head, clearing these messy thoughts from his mind, and opened the box.

Inside the wooden box was not a cell sample in a test tube, but a human-shaped, bizarre sculpture with its body curled up, estimated to be 182 centimeters tall, possessing the extreme beauty of ancient Roman humanism.

The reason it was called bizarre was that the statue was too perfect; every strand of hair, every inch of muscle, perfectly conformed to human perceptions of "beauty."

If it weren't for Doctor Mobius's solemn guarantee, Blanca wouldn't have believed that such a perfect stone carving could be a living being...

It was unearthed from deep underground by a mining company in Europe. They intended to sell it as an antique, but by chance, Mobius saw it and, after spending a lot of money and effort, secretly bought it, deceiving the Fire Moth.

The facts did not disappoint Mobius; the stone statue possessed faint life signs. 'It' was highly likely a primitive life form that had existed for tens of thousands of years.

This discovery drove Mobius, who specialized in biology, into a frenzy. However, Mobius also knew that such a discovery, once made public, would cause madness among countless Fire Moth scientists. Even if it was still kept secret by her now, in a place like Mu with its ubiquitous surveillance, 'it' being discovered was only a matter of time.

Thus, before 'it' was discovered, Mobius, with her trusted assistant Blanca, fled overnight from the M Continent headquarters to an off-the-shelf underground laboratory in Shenzhou, staking her entire fortune on this stone statue.

If successful, she would obtain firsthand experimental data and soar to fame.

If she failed... she probably wouldn't even be able to afford instant noodles.

Blanca was long accustomed to Doctor Mobius's reckless personality.

At times like these, all he could do was support her. Any more words would only lead Mobius to find new ways to trick him.

While using the robotic arm to move the statue into the incubator, Blanca glanced at the time.

Shenzhou time... May 10th, 11:41 PM.

Inside the stone statue.

I was wondering. (Only the first chapter is in the first person.)

I've transmigrated for so long, why hasn't the system come to pick me up yet?

Yes, I'm a transmigrator, currently trapped in a stone statue and about to stop thinking.

It was pitch black all around, and I couldn't move my body. I didn't even know how long I had been transmigrated, only that I seemed to be trapped in a stone statue, unable to do anything.

As for the reason for transmigration... it's a bit funny to talk about.

I transmigrated on the first day a certain two-character game's Hydro Archon banner was released. Of course, I immediately went for it. My luck that day was truly heaven-defying; I got Silly Fu Hua in a single pull without any prior wishes.

The weapon banner was even more outrageous; a single ten-pull got me a fully refined weapon.

I was so excited that I went crazy with Fou for an entire night. Who would have thought that in my excitement, I wasn't careful and transmigrated to another world.

I hadn't even had a chance to play with the Fou I just got before I was gone. This frustrating feeling still lingers in my heart.

Ah! (A heart-wrenching roar), My Fou! (A desperate shout), I haven't even gotten to play with you (a scream), I haven't even seen A-lao's videos of you (a distorted cry), I haven't even crawled onto you in a dark and twisted manner (moving on all fours)... Why did I transmigrate like this, ahhhhhhh (writhing my body frantically).

Damn heavens, you are unjust!

"Doctor, 'it' is about to wake up."

What is it?

I subconsciously wanted to ask what that noise was, but found that as a stone statue, I couldn't move my lips at all.

But there was also good news. To my surprise, I found that my control over my body was gradually returning. If things continued at this rate, I would soon be able to break free from this stone statue.

"Mmm... mmm? Mmm-ma-sang-lai..."

Another voice came, even more muffled, as if something was in its mouth.

"Hey, are you my System?"

My body hadn't fully recovered yet, but I impatiently asked in my mind.

[Uh... they aren't. I am.]

Huh??

The young man was a bit confused. He had just asked casually, and it actually existed?

[Ah, this... this... If you don't like me... I, I'll just go back...]

No! No, no, no!

The young man suppressed the excitement in his heart and quickly exclaimed, How could I not like you? My System is the best!

[Ah... Oh, thank you.]

Hearing you say that, have you just started recently?

I'm free now anyway, the young man casually asked the System, Am I considered your first man?

[Uh... yes...]

[I, I will work hard to be a good System... As long as you don't get angry with me.]

How could I? Everyone needs time to develop, right?

The young man didn't care at all that his System was a novice; instead, he was unusually excited and said, In any case, introduce yourself to me first.

[Oh... okay, please wait a moment.]

After a while, a few lines of small text appeared in the young man's vision—

[Machine Name: Star Rail Cultivation System]

[Host: Xu Ziling]

[Status: Inactive]

Xu Ziling.

This was the young man's name.

After Xu Ziling carefully read the System's display screen, he asked somewhat doubtfully, That's it?

[That's it...]

[Your body is too weak, I cannot fully possess your body yet. I will temporarily shut down now. Please supplement yourself with some nutrients, Host.]

Huh? Okay.

Xu Ziling understood. He was about to wake up anyway. Once he regained control of his body, how could he not even get something to eat?

[Right.]

What is it?

[To send this short conversation with you, I used some of your already limited body energy. I hope you don't blame me...]

[Ding~ System has shut down.]

It's just a little bit of body energy. You mean like fat, right?

Xu Ziling said dismissively, I'm not a stingy person, why would I blame you for such a small thing? I... I... Holy crap!!!!

Before Xu Ziling could finish speaking, an extremely intense hunger erupted from his abdomen. It was like an ordinary person suddenly swapping bodies with someone who had starved for six days in the desert. The immense contrast almost made him faint.

But unlike the intense hunger in his abdomen, Xu Ziling's control over his body and all his bodily functions were recovering at an astonishing speed.

The intense hunger stimulated Xu Ziling's mind. With a crisp cracking sound, Xu Ziling, inside the stone statue, suddenly opened his eyes and frantically scanned his surroundings.

Food... Food! I need to consume food now!

Only this desperate obsession remained in his mind. Xu Ziling's gaze instantly locked onto the green figure outside the cultivation dish...

"!"

Seeing Xu Ziling awaken, Mobius's eyes lit up. Before she could even swallow the noodles in her mouth, she excitedly exclaimed, "He's moving! He's moving! This guy really is alive!"

"Doctor..."

Blanca looked at the exposed emerald green eye after a small part of the stone statue had broken, lowered her head fearfully, and said, "I don't think this is good news..."

"Never mind all that! Blanca, quickly report the current time!"

"Shenzhou time, May 11th, 01:12 AM."

"Whoosh!"

As soon as Blanca finished speaking, the humanoid stone statue in the culture dish seemed to trigger some keyword. Its outer shell shattered instantly, and a massive amount of energy churned the already murky dark green nutrient solution.

When the turbid nutrient solution finally calmed down, only shattered stones remained inside the culture dish.

"???"

Mobius froze and quickly rubbed her eyes.

But when she looked again, there was nothing left in the culture dish.

Wait, where's my little mouse? Where's my big little mouse?

"Blanca, hurry and pull up the surveillance footage!"

Mobius hastily nudged the stunned Blanca, her voice filled with annoyance.

"Hmph! It must be those bastards from Fire Moth who are against me! Damn it, do they think I don't have any cameras installed here?"

"Ah... Ah, yes!"

Blanca, snapping back to reality, quickly began operating the computer.

However, the moment the surveillance footage was displayed, both she and Mobius felt their understanding of reality being challenged.

Because the footage didn't show a skilled intruder who had infiltrated the facility and stolen the mysterious stone statue man through unknown means.

The surveillance cameras showed that... after the nutrient solution was violently churned, the stone statue man's body underwent an extreme dislocation of all its bones in an instant. His form twisted wildly, becoming a bizarre, elongated humanoid shape before slipping out through the culture dish's drainage pipe.

In such a short time, all his bones dislocated, his volume compressed to one-third of its original size, and he even retained the consciousness to find his way.

What kind of (M Continent vulgarity) is this? Can a human do this?!

"Thump thump thump thump..."

While Mobius and Blanca were still reeling from their shattered perceptions, a rapid climbing sound echoed from the laboratory's underground sewage system.

Mobius turned around in surprise and saw that one of the experimental water tanks behind her was violently shaking, as if something was about to emerge...

"...*...&￥...￥T...!!"

Accompanied by uncontrollable, deep, and hoarse growls, a tall figure, standing at one hundred and eighty-five centimeters, leaped out from the narrow water tank pipe, barely three fingers wide, and lunged at the closest person, Mobius.

For a moment, Mobius's mind went blank. She had actually predicted over 14 million possible outcomes for herself, but she had never imagined that her genius life would be ended by her own little mouse.

The monster's heavy breathing already brushed against Mobius's cheek. Mobius simply closed her eyes, steeled her heart, and resigned herself to death.

After all, this world... no longer needs saving.

It's just a bit unfair to Blanca. She's worked for me for so many years, and I haven't been able to repay her properly.

Then, the monster abruptly lowered its head and pressed its lips against Mobius's lips...

And then... the monster sucked hard, devouring the noodles that Mobius hadn't had time to swallow