Hachiman Hikigaya's Youth Romantic Comedy Is Definitely Not Wrong

The Youthful Romantic Comedy of the Hikigaya Couple, It's Definitely Not Wrong. Author: Xi Xi

Synopsis: As he looked back on the past, Hachiman Hikigaya realized that all he truly desired was a warm life, affectionate relationships, and a touch of sweetness.

This novel features a harem, with the heroines being Yukino and Yui. Do not read if you dislike this.

Chapter 1: The First Encounter

My name is Hachiman Hikigaya. I'm an ordinary high school student in class 2-F at Chiba City's Soubu High School. Then again, "ordinary" might not be the right word, considering no ordinary high school student has made it to their second year without a single friend.

So what's the difference from middle school?! Damn it.

I had entered with such high hopes, even arriving an hour early on the entrance ceremony day.

Yet, all the way there, I was lost in thought about a dream I'd had for a week – a dream that felt incredibly real yet utterly absurd.

It was a depiction of my high school life, watched from a third-person perspective.

But the scenarios in that dream were impossible for me. Hachiman Hikigaya, a great loner, had absolutely no need for friends.

Unlike those ordinary people who wallow in self-pity after being ostracized by various social groups, I had eliminated any possibility of interaction from the very beginning.

Because there's no interaction, there will be no breakdown of so-called relationships due to various problems later on, and thus, no awkward situations will arise.

This is the most perfect relationship between people.

As for the marriage mentioned in the dream, that would never happen to someone like me. If I were to get married someday, it would definitely be to Komachi.

As Hachiman was lost in his thoughts, he suddenly heard the sound of wind whistling past his ears. Before he could react, a fist, accompanied by a Doppler effect, slammed into his diaphragm.

With a pained groan, Hachiman's already hunched posture curled up even further, his knees buckling as he tried to lessen the pain in his body.

Shizuka Hiratsuka, pushing back a stray strand of hair from her forehead, spoke in a tone of exasperation, "What were you thinking about while I was talking to you? Your dead fish eyes are getting even wider."

Hachiman clutched his abdomen, breathing shallowly. He looked at the calm Ms. Hiratsuka before him, as if she hadn't just thrown a punch that could have easily killed him.

"I asked you to write an essay reflecting on your high school life, right? Don't most people reflect on the past when given such a topic? Why did yours turn out like a criminal's manifesto?"

"No, if you had explained the topic clearly back then, I would have strictly adhered to it."

"Besides, isn't this how most high school students feel nowadays? As long as they have the excuse of 'youth,' any harm they cause others can be easily overlooked."

"Are you saying this is my fault? And besides, Hachiman, you're still all alone, aren't you? You haven't joined any clubs, and you don't have any friends to spend time with, right?"

"No, I'm just not accustomed to people being too close to me."

"So, that means you don't have any."

Ms. Hiratsuka pondered, tapping the filter of her cigarette on the desk before pulling out a disposable lighter from her chest pocket.

The smoke made Ms. Hiratsuka's eyes appear even more moist.

Hmm, looking at her like this, Ms. Hiratsuka is quite a beauty. But why do I hear she keeps failing at blind dates? Hey! Why do I feel like you're thinking something incredibly rude?

"No, nothing. You're overthinking it."

"Is that so?" With a sigh that carried the strong scent of smoke, Shizuka Hiratsuka stubbed out her cigarette in the overflowing ashtray. Leaning on the armrests of her chair, she slowly stood up.

"I've decided on your punishment, Hikigaya-kun. Rewriting the essay, is that okay?"

"Of course."

If it's just rewriting, it's incredibly easy for me.

A quick search online will yield plenty of finished products waiting for me to copy.

"That's good." Ms. Hiratsuka, who had already reached the door, turned to look at me and then uttered five words that would change my life: "Come with me."

"W-where?"

"You'll know soon enough. Don't ask so many questions now, just come with me."

Could it be she's going to punish me with some strenuous labor? Like helping other clubs move tables and chairs? I should just say I have a bad back and can't do physical labor.

"Um... Ms. Hiratsuka..."

"Ah? What is it?"

"It's just, I have a bad back. You know, like... Hepes①."

"You brat, can I report you to the police for attempting to sexually harass your teacher?"

"W-what..."

"You mean Henia②, right?" Ms. Hiratsuka looked at me with an expression of utter disbelief.

"Don't worry, I won't make you do any physical labor. Just follow me with peace of mind."

Hachiman followed Shizuka Hiratsuka across the courtyard. As usual, the courtyard, a sacred ground for the popular crowd, was still filled with the cloying stench of romance. Men and women mingled, eating lunch, and some couples were even feeding each other.

"Oh, could you guys turn around and look at Shizuka-cute for a moment?"

The killing intent radiating from her had condensed into a tangible form. Wait... is this Susanoo? Hey, hey, Ms. Hiratsuka, are you actually an Uchiha by any chance?

Stimulated by the comment, Ms. Hiratsuka quickened her pace across the courtyard. Hachiman had no choice but to stop his wild thoughts and jog to catch up.

"Ah, here we are." Ms. Hiratsuka finally stopped in front of a classroom door with no markings, looking as if it had been abandoned.

However, Hachiman's expression stiffened the moment he saw the place, his face contorted with extreme tension.

① Hepes (likely a mispronunciation or misspelling of Hernia) ② Henia (likely a misspelling of Hernia)

Shizuka Hiratsuka, unaware of Hachiman's sweaty palms and trembling thighs behind her, knocked on the classroom door. Before anyone inside could respond, she opened it directly.

What appeared before Hachiman's eyes was a scene of a girl quietly reading a book, bathed in a gentle breeze. A maiden with hands like orchid shoots, skin like congealed fat, a neck like a silkworm, teeth like gourds, a face like a cicada, and a smile like a blooming flower, with beautiful eyes that sparkled, was quietly reading under the sunlight.

The feeling she gave off was such that even the end of the world couldn't disturb her.

As if sensing the newcomers, the girl closed the paperback in her hands.

She looked helplessly at the cool beauty in the white coat before her.

"Teacher Hiratsuka, I believe I asked you to knock before entering."

"I did knock, I just didn't wait for your response."

"Never mind, what is it you need me for today?"

"Ah, it's nothing major. I just want you to help reform a certain person with a terrible personality."

"Hachiman, why aren't you coming in?"

Hearing her name, the girl's hand holding the paperback trembled slightly.

Then, Hachiman, with a complex expression, slowly walked in. At this moment, Hachiman Hikigaya and Yukino Yukinoshita truly met for the first time.

Chapter 2: The Service Club

As Hachiman entered, Yukino's expression grew more unsettled. Her originally fair face was now flushed with an unnatural redness.

"So it was you Teacher Hiratsuka was talking about, Hikigaya-kun. I was wondering who could be described as having a terrible personality by the teacher."

Hearing Yukino's words, Hachiman's pupils contracted abnormally. He then said in a seemingly calm tone, "Yukinoshita-san, I know about you. Your class, Class 2-J, is the only International Liberal Arts class at Soubu High. Even within the already high academic standards of the school, it's two to three points higher than the regular classes. And as one of its top students, you've consistently been first in the school, whether in small tests or final exams."

"Furthermore, as a beautiful girl, you are quite famous within the school."

"So, Yukinoshita-san, it's not strange that I know your name."

"However, as someone with an ordinary appearance, in a regular class, with grades that aren't particularly outstanding, and even with social standing that isn't great within the class..."

"May I ask, Yukinoshita-san, how do you know my name?"

Faced with Hachiman's aggressive questioning, Yukino became increasingly flustered, only managing to wave her hands in panic.

Finally, she said, feigning composure, "Is it that difficult for me to remember someone's name?"

"Is that so? Perhaps I was overthinking it."

"Hey, hey, hey, you two have been saying strange things to each other since a while ago. Are you ignoring me, your teacher?"

Shizuka Hiratsuka, seeing the two of them go on endlessly, couldn't help but interject.

"By the way, from the way you two were talking just now, do you know each other from before?"

"No, we don't."

As soon as the words left their mouths, Yukino and Hachiman denied it simultaneously, then turned to glare at each other.

"Well, it would be even better if you knew each other. My main purpose for coming today is to have Yukino help reform Hachiman's terrible personality."

"Given his current situation, I'm genuinely worried I might suddenly receive a call from Hachiman in prison, asking me to visit him."

Hearing Shizuka Hiratsuka say this, Hachiman couldn't help but pout.

"What's wrong? Am I wrong? Look around Soubu High, who else is like you, still not having a single proper friend?"

Upon hearing Shizuka Hiratsuka's words, Hachiman coldly pointed at Yukino.

"From my personal understanding, the Yukino-san you've asked for help, it seems, is also like me, not having a single friend she can talk to."

"Huh?" Hearing Hachiman's sophistry, Shizuka Hiratsuka blew on her fist as if a samurai was polishing their beloved sword.

"So, you're not going to listen to me, are you?"

"No! Your will is my guiding principle."

Not wanting to die in high school, Hachiman immediately caved to Teacher Hiratsuka.

"That's good. From today onwards, you are a member here. Yukino will be your club president from now on. If you have any problems, you can talk to her. I have other matters to attend to, so I'll be leaving now."

Ignoring Shizuka Hiratsuka, who turned and left, the atmosphere between Yukino and Hachiman became even more awkward without the presence of a third party to mediate.

After more than ten minutes of relative silence, Yukino was the first to break the strange stalemate. "Hikigaya-kun, aren't you tired of standing? Do I need to get you a stool before you sit down?"

"Ah? Oh." After a brief moment of consideration about whether to move his left or right foot first, Hachiman hopped in place, then feigned stiffness in his leg before shuffling over to the stack of desks and chairs to get a stool.

After placing the stool a full ten paces away from Yukino, Hachiman slowly sat down, placing his school bag by his right foot.

Turning to look at Yukino, who had refocused her attention on the paperback in her hands, Hachiman felt... the face of the girl before him seemed to be getting redder and redder.

As the blush gradually spread to the girl's delicate neck, Yukino finally lost her patience.

"What exactly are you looking at? Staring at me like a pervert the whole time, I feel like my entire being has been defiled by your lewd gaze."

"Yukinoshita, you must really like cats, right?"

"You... How did you know?"

"It should be easy to tell, right? Your book cover is full of cat patterns."

"Is that all? Your reasoning for judging things is too arbitrary."

No, there's one more, the most important reason, which I think you should know.

W-what reason? I'm not really sure.

Yukino said, shifting her gaze out the window.

Don't tell me you've been stalking me every day? I know I'm cute, but I'll call the police if you keep this up.

What gives you the courage... to praise yourself so shamelessly?

It's a fact. Everyone who's seen me since I was little has called me cute. There's no denying it.

Alright, alright, you're the cutest.

Speaking of which, Ms. Hiratsuka hasn't told me what kind of club this is yet. Could you introduce it to me?

This club is called the Service Club, and I founded it myself.

"Those who have compassion give to those who lack it; people call this volunteering."

Extending a hand to those in need is the club's activity. As Yukino said this, Hachiman felt only one thing: she was radiating a heroic spirit.

Seeing Yukino look so serious, Hachiman looked at the person before him, even his dead fish eyes softened a little.

So, this club was founded to serve other students?

It's fine to understand it that way.

I have a feeling I've joined a troublesome place.

Just then, a knock came from the door. Yukino ignored Hachiman's complaint and said to the person outside, "Please come in." As the door slowly opened, a pink dumpling appeared. She hid her body behind the door, peeking out with only her head.