No, Brother Fang!

[Please vote~~~ Leave some comments roasting this chapter too~~~ Otherwise this slacker always feels like he's playing solo...]

"Boom!"

Just like playing Demolition Mode in CrossFire, a massive explosion erupted from the little sand dune where Jiang Lin had been lying in ambush.

Jiang Lin and Fang Chaoqun sprang up, backs pressed together, only to find themselves surrounded by more than a dozen disciples from the Famous Righteous Sects.

"Brother Jiang, what do we do now?" Fang Chaoqun drew the long blade he had refined into his Natal Treasure, cold sweat beading on his forehead.

Fang Chaoqun had found this long blade in the secret realm. In terms of grade, it was considered purple rare in Dean Aifu—already a pretty good Opportunity—and this blade was especially fated with Fang Chaoqun.

Ordinarily, refining a Natal Treasure took at least ten days to half a month, yet he said it had taken him only an hour. Its grade even seemed to rise with Fang Chaoqun's cultivation, perhaps even reaching the level of a Half-God Weapon.

Sigh... Why does everyone around me seem to have the destiny of a protagonist, while I haven't encountered a single Opportunity after all these days? Even the Mountains and Rivers State Diagram, flashy but useless and at least worth a good price, got lost...

Not only that, Jiang Lin seriously suspected that some wild mountain demon in this secret realm had sucked away his vital essence. When he woke up in the morning, his waist hurt terribly...

"Brother Jiang, what's wrong? Why do you seem a little sad?"

"Nothing. I was merely lamenting the fickleness of human life. Brother Fang, don't mind it. But Brother Fang, where's your sister? Didn't she make it into the Final Circle?"

"Sigh... It's shameful to say. My sister could have infiltrated the Xuejia Sect without a hitch, but if I entered as her elder brother, I would definitely accomplish something great—make their Xuejia Sect's circle truly chaotic, disrupt their Dao Hearts, trap them in love, and ultimately split their Sect apart."

"And then?"

"But unexpectedly, while Running from the Poison, those people were too busy seeking Opportunities. They triggered a mechanism and were all locked up together. They stayed in the Poison Circle too long and were all eliminated."

"...So the Sun Moon Sect only has the two of us left? And Chen Jia..."

"Seems so!"

"..."

"Jiang Lin! Hand over the Mountains and Rivers State Diagram, and I'll spare your life." A man with a hairstyle rather resembling an alpaca raised his sword and demanded.

"Ah, come on." Jiang Lin twisted his hips in a particularly coquettish manner. "See this Life-Saving Talisman hanging from my waist? How exactly are you gonna spare me from dying?"

"Jiang Lin, you little thief! You schemed against my Zong Hao Sect! You even humiliated us before Black Tortoise Gate! Even if you leave this secret realm, you still won't escape death."

"Then wait until you get out and find me first."

"If I don't kill this thief, the hatred in my heart will never be soothed! Everyone, join me in killing him!"

"Get him!"

No one knew who had shouted the signal first, but everyone surged forward at once.

"Brother Fang! I'm sorry, I dragged you into this." With his back against Fang Chaoqun's, Jiang Lin could not help sighing. "If we make it back to the Sun Moon Sect, I'll give you another ten percent of the profits from our dudou business!"

"Brother Jiang, those words are enough!"

"Brother Fang..."

"Brother Jiang... Actually, I have something else to say."

"Hm?"

"This blade of mine has another hidden function."

Jiang Lin's eyes lit up. "Could it be that Brother Fang's blade comes with an escape function?!"

"Well..." Fang Chaoqun's dark face reddened. "It's somewhat embarrassing to say, but this blade is also called the Self-Destructing Blade. Its hidden function is self-destruction."

"Ha?"

While Jiang Lin stood there utterly dumbfounded, the dozen or so surviving young elites had already closed to within ten meters of them!

Fang Chaoqun stared into Jiang Lin's eyes. "Brother Jiang, live well! Obtain the Dragon Soul, spread the Demon Sect glory of our Sun Moon Sect, and prove that our Sun Moon Sect is not some second-rate Demon Sect! We... are a Demon Sect with dreams too!"

"Brother Fang! Don't tell me you're going to—"

Before Jiang Lin could finish, Fang Chaoqun grabbed his arm. Like an old father spinning a child around by the hand, this burly man spun Jiang Lin in place a full 1,080 degrees, then flung him away with a swing of his arm.

"No, Brother Fang!"

"Brother Jiang!" Fang Chaoqun looked up at the sky and smiled with righteous resolve. "I'll go on ahead!"

"Brother Fang..."

"Not good! It's a trick! Retreat now!"

"No! I can't stop myself!"

"I can't pull back either!"

Just as the dozen or so attackers were about to strike and kill Jiang Lin and the other big, dark-skinned fellow in one blow, Jiang Lin was hurled far away, while the burly man plunged his long blade into the sand and began chanting something under his breath.

Like the beeping of C4 before it exploded, the beep-beep-beep grew faster and faster!

"Bang!"

A deafening blast rang out across the desert.

At that moment, a mushroom cloud rose over the wasteland of the Bewildering Secret Realm...

[Brother Jiang, let's go steal bellybands together again.]

[Brother Jiang, listen to me. Do you know Chen Jia? That's right, that Martial Maniac—he's fighting a bear, hahaha! In the dead of winter, looking like a damn idiot.]

[Brother Jiang, someone's willing to pay a high price for your master's bellyband. Look... ow... Brother Jiang, don't hit my face... ah, and don't kick my little bird either...]

[Brother Jiang, do you think our Sun Moon Sect can become the number-one Demon Sect?]

[Brother Jiang...]

Within the mushroom cloud, Jiang Lin seemed to see Fang Chaoqun's dark, foolish grin. He remembered those days when they had gone to the Women's Bathhouse together to steal other people's bellybands.

But...

"Brother Fang! Your self-destruction is too powerful... I'll be eliminated too..."

Just as Jiang Lin exhausted his spiritual power to form a shield and barely withstand the explosion, even seeing the montage of his life flash before his eyes yet again, two swords came flying over. Jiang Lin felt soft bodies, like cotton, tightly embrace him.

Unfortunately, the shockwaves were too strong for Jiang Lin to open his eyes.

The two girls supported Jiang Lin as they erected a Spiritual Power Barrier together. The three of them exhausted all their spiritual power in order to withstand the explosion.

An enormous cloud of sand and dust spread through the entire desert. After the mushroom cloud came flying sand and swirling dust...

A full two days had passed since that explosion. On the second day, the desert gradually returned to calm. Apart from the huge crater left where Fang Chaoqun had self-destructed, everything was as it had been.

On the third day, beneath clear skies and fresh air, a woman covered from head to toe in sand and dust staggered up to a large dune.

"It should be here, right? Tch! In the end, this Miss... this young master still has to dig you out!"

Calling herself "young master," the girl had an exceptionally pure and lovely appearance. She was Flat as a Board, though her pair of long legs was utterly perfect. With a tsundere little huff, she began digging without pause...

She dug for another full two days before, at last, beneath the sand and dust, the girl uncovered his shoe.

The girl's pure eyes lit up with joy. Wiping the hot sweat from her forehead, she took another breath of Martial Warrior True Qi and continued digging relentlessly.

But as she dug, the girl began to sense that something was wrong.

When she had dug everything out, she found two girls desperately shielding him with their bodies, clutching him tightly.

And he was peacefully enjoying a faceful of breasts.

"Jiang Lin! Go die!"

"Pfft..."

Pushing the two girls aside, Chen Jia threw a punch. Jiang Lin spewed countless grains of flying sand from his mouth...