A Troubled Heart

The two of them sat facing each other at the dining table.

Han Shuyu crossed both hands on the table, her face full of anticipation.

"Go on, try my cooking."

Lin Yuan picked up his chopsticks, a hint of hesitation in his expression. The chopsticks stopped in front of the sea bass for several seconds before finally picking up a piece.

He placed the piece of fish into his mouth and chewed for a while.

An intensely salty taste instantly assaulted his taste buds. Lin Yuan's brows furrowed slightly, but then relaxed just as quickly. In its place was a deliberately exaggerated look of pleasant surprise.

"Quick, give it a try. This flavor is absolutely incredible!"

Han Shuyu was overjoyed. "Hahaha, it looks like I really do have a talent for cooking."

With that, she eagerly picked up her chopsticks, took a bite, and put it into her mouth.

But the moment it entered her mouth, Han Shuyu's face twisted into a bitter melon.

"Blegh, blegh, why is it so salty?"

"You'll have to ask yourself that, Chef Han." Seeing her expression, Lin Yuan said while struggling to hold back his laughter.

"You're awful, Lin Yuan. You knew it tasted bad, yet you still lied to me."

A hurt expression immediately appeared on Han Shuyu's face.

She put down her chopsticks, lowered her head, turned her body aside, and began picking at her fingernails out of habit.

After a moment of silence, she murmured softly, "Lin Yuan, do you think I'm useless? I can't even cook a proper meal."

Seeing her dejected expression left Lin Yuan, who was sitting opposite her, utterly confused.

Normally, even though he had teased her just now, she shouldn't have reacted like this.

"Shu Yu, what's wrong? I was just joking around and teasing you."

Han Shuyu didn't answer him, nor did she even raise her head.

Before long, Lin Yuan noticed that her cheeks had grown damp. The next moment, he heard faint sobs coming from beside him.

The sight left him completely at a loss.

"Damn, why are you crying? I'll apologize, okay?"

His words did nothing to make her stop. Instead, Han Shuyu cried even harder.

She sprawled across the table and began sobbing loudly.

Lin Yuan had never encountered anything like this before. He wanted to say something, but was afraid of saying the wrong thing, so he simply fell silent and watched her quietly.

After who knew how long, Han Shuyu seemed to have cried herself out.

She slowly raised her head from the table.

Both her eyes were red from crying, and her originally fair cheeks had also flushed.

Han Shuyu sniffed twice, pulled a tissue from the table, and pretended to remain calm as she wiped away the tears lingering on her face.

The room fell silent again.

A few minutes later, Han Shuyu seemed to have calmed down somewhat and slowly spoke. "Sorry you had to see that."

"What happened?"

Han Shuyu looked at Lin Yuan. Instead of answering his question directly, she began talking about something else.

"Do you know? My mom died when I was about this tall." She gestured with her hand. "At the time, I was only in third grade."

"I was still young then, and I didn't really understand life or death. My dad told me that my mom had gone to a very faraway place."

"From then on, I would ask my dad every few days where my mom had gone. Especially whenever I saw other children being accompanied by their mothers, I would pester my dad about it all day long."

"Every time, he would say, 'She'll be back soon, she'll be back soon.'"

"Lin Yuan, do you know what question I was most afraid of teachers asking me when I was little?"

"It was, 'Where's your mother?' All I could do was answer again and again, 'My mother went to a very faraway place.'"

"Later, as I gradually grew up, I slowly understood where that faraway place was. But I still couldn't help asking my dad once. I asked him if my mom was dead."

"My dad didn't answer me. He simply sat silently on the sofa for the entire night. When I got up the next morning, the ashtray was stuffed full of cigarette butts. My dad never smoked at home, but that time, he smoked an unusually large amount."

"Maybe too much time had passed. Or perhaps, deep down, I had already guessed the truth and had simply been unwilling to admit it."

"Later, I thought about it. I had lost my mom, but I still had a father who cared about me. So many years had already passed. From then on, I would just live well with my dad."

"But when I was in my first year of high school, my dad was transferred elsewhere for work. Every day after school, I would come home to an empty house. Whenever it rained or thundered, I would hide inside and wouldn't even dare go to the bathroom. Back then, I really wished I had someone by my side, someone I could talk to. But all I could do was talk to myself while staring at the ceiling."

"Later, my dad asked me to stay at my aunt's place. I lived there for a while, but then moved out again."

"It wasn't that my aunt treated me badly. It was just that whenever I saw how happy and harmonious other families were, I felt like I didn't belong, like I was an unwanted extra."

"I tried my best to fit into my aunt's family, but the more I tried, the more miserable I felt for some reason. I... I just felt worse inside."

At that, tears began spilling uncontrollably from Han Shuyu's eyes again.

Lin Yuan handed her a tissue.

Han Shuyu took a deep breath and continued, "The day before yesterday, my dad came back."

"He didn't come back alone. There was also an unfamiliar woman with him."

"When I saw that woman walking into my house with her arm around my dad's, I nearly broke down completely."

"I didn't know how to face my dad, and I didn't know how to face myself. It felt as if I were the only lonely person left in the entire world."

"Actually, it's not that I can't understand my dad. After all, he's been alone for so many years. There was no one by his side to take care of him while he was away. But I just can't accept this reality."

"Lin Yuan, what do you think I should do?"

After listening to Han Shuyu, Lin Yuan finally sorted out the situation.

He sighed first, but then smiled.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Han Shuyu, do you know what kind of people I envied most when I was little?"

Han Shuyu shook her head.

"I envied people like you the most—those of you from the city, with good family backgrounds and connections. Your families only had to say a word at school, and the teachers would show you obvious favoritism."

"As for me, I was just a poor kid. My family had nothing. If I hadn't studied like my life depended on it, I wouldn't even have been able to follow behind you."

"My dad left when I was very young, leaving my mom to raise me alone."

"Do you know how difficult it is for a woman to raise a child? My mom wasn't like your dad, with such a good job and such good family circumstances. She was just an ordinary woman in her twenties, without even a stable job. During the holidays, in order to let me have a decent meal, she would take me to relatives' homes. Every time, my mom would clear away the leftovers, wash dishes for my relatives, sweep the floors, and keep working until late at night."

"Do you know what time of year I feared most back then?"

Han Shuyu shook her head.

"The start of the school term. Because we had no money, my mom had to swallow her pride and borrow from other people. She went from house to house until she had borrowed enough for my tuition."

"Han Shuyu, maybe you think what you've experienced is something impossible for you to accept, but I don't think it's reached the point where it can't be faced. Maybe people's joys and sorrows really aren't shared."

"Besides, I think I probably had it worse than you."

"More importantly, you're grown up now. You graduated from university more than two years ago. You should get used to living your own life."

"If it were me, and my mom found someone she could rely on in the future, I would bless her. Her life doesn't belong to me, after all. She has the right to make her own decisions."

After quietly listening to him, Han Shuyu's expression seemed to improve somewhat.

But she still let out a humph.

"How did you have it worse than me? I'm obviously the one who had it worse, okay?"

"Damn, that doesn't count as having it bad? Put your hand over your heart and tell me, who had it worse?"

"I did! I'm the one who had it worse! I'm the one who cried, while you didn't shed a single tear."

"So we're deciding who had it worse based on who cried?"

"You lost your dad, and I lost my mom. Lin Yuan, do you think that makes us fellow sufferers now?"

"Yeah. Good brothers."

"Pah, who wants to be brothers with you?" Han Shuyu burst out laughing.

Seeing a smile return to her face, Lin Yuan finally felt relieved.

"Not sad anymore?"

"No. You're right, Lin Yuan. I should live my own life properly."

"Good. Since you're not sad anymore, I should head home too. It's getting late."

"No!" Han Shuyu blurted out.

"Why not?"

"Because I said no. You have to stay with me tonight."

"Are you a bandit or something?"

"It's your fault for making me cry."

"???"

Lin Yuan stared at her in shock. Could women really make baseless accusations so naturally?

"I made you cry? Be reasonable. You started crying for no reason. What does that have to do with me?"

"What, are you trying to deny it? My eyes are red, and that's the evidence. You've been caught red-handed!"

Han Shuyu pointed at her bright-red eyes, looking utterly pleased with herself.