Azure Continent's number-one sect, Dao Tian Sect, was home to one of its 108 main mountains: Yunju Mountain.
"It's been more than forty years!"
"Do you know how I've lived through these past forty-some years?!"
Beside a lake on Yunju Mountain, a handsome young man dressed in azure robes gazed at the water, his face filled with emotion.
The young man was Li Zhōujūn.
He was one of Dao Tian Sect's 108 mountain lords.
At first glance, this identity might have seemed incredibly impressive.
But in reality, Li Zhōujūn was a complete cultivation wastrel. To this day, he was still an ordinary person.
His ability to become the lord of Yunju Mountain was entirely because, when his master passed away forty years ago, Li Zhōujūn had been his only disciple.
As a result, he had often become the subject of after-meal gossip throughout Dao Tian Sect, from the servant disciples below to the elders above.
As for how such a wastrel had managed to enter Dao Tian Sect and become the mountain lord's True Disciple, that required mentioning how Li Zhōujūn, a transmigrator, had once disguised himself as a child prodigy.
Back then, he had spoken at three months old, learned to read at six months, walked at nine months, and become well-versed in the classics by the time he was one.
People had called him the reincarnation of an immortal.
And so, at the age of one, he had caught the eye of the previous lord of Yunju Mountain, who had accepted him as a disciple.
Although the previous lord of Yunju Mountain eventually discovered that Li Zhōujūn was a complete cultivation wastrel, he had not said much. Li Zhōujūn had received all the treatment due to a True Disciple.
He had merely begun planning to raise an alternate account in his heart.
Unfortunately, before he could start raising that alternate account, he had fallen in a great battle in which Dao Tian Sect suppressed a demonic cultivator uprising.
Seeing that he had sacrificed his life for the sect, Dao Tian Sect naturally decided to look after his sole disciple, Li Zhōujūn, and let the six-year-old inherit the position of mountain lord.
In any case, Li Zhōujūn could not cultivate. After a century, Yunju Mountain would be without a lord all the same.
They could always make new plans for Yunju Mountain then.
This way, Dao Tian Sect could also earn a reputation for valuing loyalty and righteousness, attracting more heavenly prodigies to join.
As for why Li Zhōujūn still looked like a young man despite being over forty, that was simply because he had taken a Youth Preserving Pill.
But starting today, all of this would undergo an epic rewrite!
Because Li Zhōujūn's golden-finger system, as a transmigrator, had finally awakened today!
"System, it's already been more than forty years! If you'd shown up any later, I would've kicked the bucket!" Li Zhōujūn said, tears welling in his eyes.
[ Ding: Host, please do not get agitated. The system may be late, but it will never be absent. ]
The system's mechanically synthesized voice rang out in Li Zhōujūn's mind.
"Not being absent is good! But System, look at me—I'm already over forty, old and faded. Can I still start cultivating?" Li Zhōujūn asked eagerly.
[ Ding: Cultivation? ]
[ Ding: Host, you're looking down on the system too much. With the system, why would you need to cultivate? ]
[ Ding: Rewarding the host with one welcome gift! ]
"Open it!" Li Zhōujūn said without the slightest hesitation.
[ Ding: Congratulations, host. You have obtained a special ability: 'Five-Five Split with All Things!' ]
"Five-Five Split with All Things? What does that mean?" Li Zhōujūn asked, utterly bewildered.
What the hell? What a bizarre name!
[ Ding: Simply put, no matter what thing or person the host faces, you can achieve a five-five split—in other words, nobody can beat anyone, and nobody can beat anyone. ]
"Uh, I more or less understand..." Li Zhōujūn blinked. Then he pulled a dagger from his boot and asked the system, "Can I five-five split with this thing too?"
[ Ding: Yes. ]
Hearing the system's reply, Li Zhōujūn gritted his teeth, gripped the dagger's edge, and pulled his hand backward.
Screeech!
The sound of metal scraping against metal rang out.
To Li Zhōujūn's disbelief, the hand that had been dragged across the dagger's sharp edge was completely unharmed. There was not even a white mark!
"This ability seems a little too overpowered..."
Li Zhōujūn sucked in a cold breath and asked the system again, "If I encounter a True Immortal-level expert, can I five-five split with them too?"
[ Ding: Of course. All things in this world, after all. ]
"This is truly a cow stepping on a power line—bullshit so awesome it's crackling with lightning! I love it, I love it..."
At that moment, Li Zhōujūn's eyes gradually brightened. With this five-five-split ability, wasn't he effectively invincible in this world?
[ Ding: This is only the welcome gift. If the host completes the system's tasks from now on, you will receive even more unexpected rewards! ]
"System, don't you dare sell me pie in the sky!" Li Zhōujūn said, practically drooling.
[ Ding: No deception of the old or young. ]
"That's good." Li Zhōujūn nodded. Then, as if remembering something, he asked the system again, "Do I have an Attribute Panel?"
[ Ding: Isn't that simple? ]
[ Ding: Host, please look at the big screen. ]
As the system's voice fell,
a transparent panel immediately appeared before Li Zhōujūn's eyes.
[Host]: Li Zhōujūn
[Identity]: Yunju Mountain Lord of Dao Tian Sect
[Age]: Forty-six years old (four years remaining)
[Cultivation]: None
[Ability]: Five-Five Split with All Things
"What? System, what the hell does 'four years remaining' mean?" Li Zhōujūn stared at the age column, instantly struck by a terrible premonition.
[ Ding: It means you can still live for four years. ]
Li Zhōujūn: "I'm truly grateful..."
So even if he could five-five split with all things in the world, he was still a mortal. Not only that, he was a short-lived ghost—he would only live to be fifty.
[ Ding: Host, rest assured. Completing system tasks will reward you with cultivation realms from this world, and your lifespan will naturally increase as well. ]
"Uh, didn't you just say I don't need to cultivate? Then why are you rewarding me with cultivation?" Li Zhōujūn complained.
[ Ding: How about learning more about the AFK ability? ]
"Sure, sure!" Li Zhōujūn's eyes lit up. "Can you give it to me now?"
[ Ding: Heh heh. ]
[ Ding: The sect where the host resides will hold a Disciple Acceptance Ceremony in three days. The host is required to recruit one disciple. Success will grant an unexpected reward! ]
"Take on a disciple?" Li Zhōujūn instantly went numb.
His reputation was already well known, earning him the titles of Wastrel Mountain Lord and Freeloader Mountain Lord...
Simply put, only an idiot would take him as their master!
"System, don't you think this task is a little unreasonable?" Li Zhōujūn said through a curtain of tears and snot.
[ Ding: The spirit of a great and magnificent warrior must not belittle itself. ]
"That makes sense, but System, I feel that even if I take on a disciple, I'll only mislead them. After all, I genuinely don't know a single thing about cultivation. Wouldn't taking someone as a disciple just harm them?"
On this point, Li Zhōujūn still had some self-awareness.
[ Ding: Host, with the system here, what are you panicking about? ]
"That's right. What am I panicking about?" Li Zhōujūn stroked his chin. This system's abilities were quite formidable, after all. Since it could make him five-five split with all things in the world, wouldn't teaching a disciple be a piece of cake?
Next, he only had to wait for the sect to begin accepting disciples three days later!
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