Zonko's Joke Shop

After the four of them finished their Butterbeer and left the Three Broomsticks, the rain outside had eased.

"Let's go to Zonko's Joke Shop first!" Fred suggested. He was worried that if they went to Honeydukes Sweetshop first, they would spend what little change they had left.

"All right." Albert tore his gaze away from the sweetshop. He was actually rather curious about what the Joke Shop sold that had the three of them so reluctant to leave.

Zonko's Joke Shop was next to Honeydukes Sweetshop, separated only by a private house. Like the sweetshop beside it, it had large glass display windows filled with all manner of prank items.

When the four pushed open the door, the bell behind it rang.

"Welcome." Zonko put down his newspaper and rose from behind the counter, greeting the four young customers with a smile. He was a wizard in his forties, with an approachable smile on his face.

There were quite a few kinds of merchandise in the Joke Shop. Albert put away his umbrella, walked over to the display window, and examined the items inside.

"Auto-Answer Quill," Albert quietly read the name of the quill.

"This quill is made to help you deal with troublesome subjects. It can help you write the answers to most questions." Like a qualified salesman, Zonko introduced the quill's functions to Albert in a humorous tone.

"It really is a good thing," Albert replied casually, though he was unimpressed. Trying to sell this thing to him was like giving answer keys to a top student.

He clearly had no need for it.

Beside it was a broom. Albert read its description: Rampaging Broom.

When a wizard tried to ride it into the air, the broom would flip over, leaving its rider hanging upside down. It also had five modes, including wild spinning and sudden braking that flung people off.

The broom could fly no higher than three meters.

It was just a toy broom, priced at fifteen Galleons.

Albert's face twitched. He turned to look at Fred, George, and Lee Jordan, who were choosing prank items at another counter. Walking over, he saw bars of soap lined up in the cabinet, each one speckled with black dots.

Frog Spawn Soap.

That was the description of the prank item. The more one used it to wash, the dirtier one became.

Beside the soap were teacups. Albert did not reach out to touch them, because they were labeled Nose-Biting Teacups.

The moment someone used one of the teacups to drink tea, it would suddenly bite that person's nose and splash the hot tea inside over them.

All right.

One careless move, and even a wizard would probably fall for it.

"What are you planning to buy?" Albert asked.

"Dungbombs," the Twins said in unison.

"Hiccough Sweets and Squeaking Sweets." Albert felt embarrassed buying nothing at all, so he casually bought a few sweets.

Hiccough Sweets were hard throat lozenges that caused hiccups for five minutes after being eaten. As for Squeaking Sweets, they looked like tiny mice. Fred volunteered to try one. The instant he bit into it, it let out a mouse-like shriek, as though he had really bitten a little mouse. It startled him so badly that his mouth fell open, and the sweet dropped from it onto the floor.

"How does it taste?" Albert asked curiously.

"Not bad. It's just an ordinary gummy sweet."

"What are you buying?" Albert asked Lee Jordan.

"I want this." He pointed at a flying disc with sharp teeth.

"This is a Fanged Frisbee." Zonko picked one up and threw it. The four of them heard a roar coming from the whistling disc. "You need to be careful when playing with it. Don't get bitten."

He placed a slip of paper in the Frisbee's mouth, and in the blink of an eye, it had been shredded into scraps.

That thing was pretty destructive.

"I'll see if there's anything else." Lee Jordan checked the price and looked a little disappointed. It cost three Galleons—definitely not cheap. Before leaving, Albert bought two Inflatable Screaming Skeletons. Each was only the size of his fist, but once thrown, it would rapidly inflate to the height of a person and let out a scream that startled people. When it exploded, it scattered white powder that covered people's faces.

Lee Jordan bought a Sticky Stretching Hand. It could stretch and shrink at will. Once thrown, it would grab the ear of the nearest person. It did not hurt, but when it retracted, it made a loud snap that gave the victim a fright.

When the four left, they each carried a large paper bag in their arms, filled with things they had bought from Zonko's Joke Shop.

Lee Jordan had also bought a bag of Dungbombs.

The other three were all curious that Albert had not bought any.

It was practically a must-buy item whenever they came to Zonko's Joke Shop.

"No, I'm not interested in that sort of thing," Albert said irritably.

The moment one touched it, one's hands would become filthy. Throwing it would make it explode into disgusting sludge, and it gave off a revolting rotten-egg smell.

It was practically a biological weapon.

"You'd better not make the dormitory reek," Albert warned seriously.

"Don't worry, we'll definitely be careful. We bought these to deal with Filch," George said. He was clearly still bitter about being punished with washing chamber pots.

"That place was great, wasn't it?" Fred asked with a grin.

"It was great. A very interesting place." Albert nodded in agreement. Then something occurred to him. "You seem to really like these prank items. Maybe you could open a similar Joke Shop yourselves someday."

He remembered that after graduating, the Twins really did open a Joke Shop, and it did quite well.

"That's not a bad idea." The Twins' eyes lit up. Unlike Albert, they had never really considered what they wanted to do in the future.

"I think you'll need to learn your charms well. Some of these things involve alchemy too," Albert reminded them, picking up a sweet for a closer look.

"What about you?"

"I haven't decided yet." Albert was still considering it. He had no intention of giving up on entering New York finance. After all, it was easy work. With the experience he had accumulated and the rewards from completed tasks, once he graduated, he could raise all sorts of economics and finance skills to a high level. Lying back and making money really suited him better, didn't it? Oh, and Divination seemed pretty good too. He could predict lottery numbers and win a hundred million dollars or something.

Hmm, the Time-Turner seemed pretty good too. He could win the lottery anytime, anywhere.

Still, finance seemed like a better way to make money.

Albert realized that using magic to make money legitimately was also a pretty good idea. The only problem was that if the Ministry of Magic found out, it might cause trouble.

Divination might be better. As long as no one knew he was a Seer, there would be no problem.

Just as Albert was pondering his grand plans for the future, the four entered Honeydukes Sweetshop. Although the Twins had already spent all their loose change at Zonko's Joke Shop, that did not stop them from going in to look at the merchandise. They could come back for sweets next time they had money.