Funeral Gate

Inside the Corpse Driver's Shop, Xu Qing used his blood as a medium, like a child playing with a jump rope, drawing out ten fingertip blood threads and weaving them into a winged blood worm resembling a green cicada.

The abdomen of the cicada-shaped blood worm, as if made of hollowed-out paper cuttings, faintly revealed over a dozen rice-sized green cicada larvae.

Mother and child tied together, the Green Cicada Curse was activated.

Xu Qing, who had prepared in advance, placed the mother rope onto his Golden Clapper, while the child insects flapped their wings and fell into his money pouch.

At the mouth of the money pouch, a flash of red-to-green light flickered past. If Xu Qing hadn't been watching closely, he might have thought he was seeing things.

"It's done already?"

Xu Qing took out a copper coin and, with a "let's give it a try" attitude, went to the backyard. He then gathered all his strength and threw it outside the wall.

He wasn't afraid of hitting anyone. Even if a copper coin fell on someone's head, it would be like raindrops; at most, it would cause a small bump. He could just go home and have his wife blow on it, and by the time she was done, the bump would be gone.

After throwing the copper coin, Xu Qing stood in the backyard, looking up at the sky. But after half a cup of tea, he still didn't see the copper coin fly back with its little wings.

Could it be that he put too much force into it, and the mother coin couldn't receive the signal?

Xu Qing estimated the force and threw another copper coin. This time, he reduced his strength by half and waited for a while, but still, there was no sign of the copper coin.

Could this Money Returning Technique be unreliable?

Xu Qing looked at the remaining money in his pouch and decided to forget it.

It was fortunate that he had only thrown two copper coins earlier. If he had thrown out the silver from his pouch, he would have lost a fortune.

He was counting on this money to handle the corpses!

Returning to the front shop, the naked corpse of the Free Rider was still lying on the dismantled plank bed. Xu Qing thought it wasn't right to leave it like this; it was quite indecent.

If he were to follow the ways of a Corpse Driver, he should find a separate room now and store the body, and then sell them in batches or transport them to the Yi Zhuang once he had enough.

There was a separate room in the Corpse Driver's Shop. In the past, Liu Youdao not only stored bodies there but even slept in that room himself.

To pile up a bunch of corpses by the bedside as decoration, you really have a big heart!

Xu Qing didn't have that kind of hobby; he wasn't interested in corpses.

After much thought, Xu Qing decided he needed to buy a few coffins. He would use them as temporary storage, putting the bodies inside for now. When he couldn't fit any more, he would pick an auspicious day and bury them in a wild field.

It didn't matter whether the deceased were good or bad in life; in the end, it was all about a peaceful burial.

If you just dumped them in the wilderness or sank them in a river, and then later the bodies started to smell, attracting a plague god to descend, that would be truly wicked!

The Jingxia Street where Xu Qing was located had a nickname: Funeral Gate Street.

This was because the entire street was filled with shops related to funerals and burials.

There were coffin shops, paper craft shops, and incense and candle shops, all located there.

Just recently, a new Corpse Driver's Shop had opened, dealing with funeral arrangements and services for the deceased.

At this moment, Wu Yaoxing, the owner of the paper craft shop, was idly leaning at his doorway. Beside him, besides a paper horse whose head was half-exposed, were two wreaths placed on either side, emphasizing symmetry.

Wu Yaoxing was cracking melon seeds and watching the pedestrians strolling in pairs and threes on the street. He didn't dare to shout loudly like other shopkeepers, trying to solicit business.

After all, slow business was a minor issue; having his legs broken was a major one!

Ever since Wu Yaoxing started this paper crafting business, even his visiting relatives had become fewer. During festivals, only the shopkeepers and bosses on this street would exchange New Year's greetings. When they had nothing to do, they would occasionally gather to chat.

As Wu Yaoxing was cracking melon seeds, he saw the young owner of the newly opened shop next door appear.

Wu Yaoxing was bored and looking for someone to talk to, so this sighting greatly energized him!

He pocketed the melon seed shells, freed his hands, and started to greet him, looking like a pimp standing outside a brothel.

"Hey there, young man, come sit for a while. We're both idle anyway, let's have a chat."

Xu Qing, who was about to go out, paused for a moment. He felt that it was indeed important to maintain good relationships with his neighbors, so he went to the entrance of the paper craft shop.

Wu Yaoxing busied himself by bringing over a small stool and pulling out a handful of melon seeds, intending to stuff them into Xu Qing's hand.

Xu Qing couldn't get used to eating these. Forget about the five-spice ones; even the sweet ones weren't on the zombie's menu!

He had no choice but to tactfully say, "Old Wu, I've been having a lot of internal heat lately, I can't eat these."

Then, Xu Qing reached into the hanging bag he was carrying and pulled out a handful of small persimmon cakes. He said, "I have some snacks here too. I heard they're Sunset Red Persimmons from Gannan. Not only are they sweet, but the frost on the dried persimmons also helps to reduce internal heat and dryness. You should try some."

"That would be wonderful, I must try them properly!"

Sometimes, the way people get along is that simple. As they started chatting, their relationship unconsciously grew closer.

Eating the sweet persimmon cakes, they began to chat idly.

It was mainly Wu Yaoxing talking, and Xu Qing listening.

The topics were mostly the common gossip that people enjoyed hearing, interspersed with occasional small talk about family matters, such as how old you are this year? Have you found a wife yet? Where is your hometown?

As Wu Yaoxing spoke, he brought up a recent piece of gossip that had spread through the neighborhood!

And this celebrity happened to be someone Xu Qing had met a few days ago and even performed a rite for – the wealthy landlord of Tongzi Street, Master Liu!

"Truly, every family has its own troubles. Master Liu, such a wealthy man, who even set up shelters and distributed porridge to help the disaster victims from Yaozhou a few years ago. Who would have thought he would be deceived for so long by his own wife in collusion with the steward? Not only did they have a child through adultery, but they also live in his mansion, spend his money, and raise their own child."

"I've never seen anyone get swindled this badly!"

Xu Qing heard this and said nonchalantly, "No way, I just officiated Master Liu's funeral a few days ago. I didn't hear about this. Who did you hear it from?"

"That's what Old Man Hu from the coffin shop on the street said. The old man has no children, and he spends his days trying to charm old ladies. I bet he just wants a companion when he dies. You should have seen the coffin Old Man Hu bought for himself. It was so wide, you could fit two or three people in it with room to spare!"

"That's not what I mean. I mean, how did anyone find out about Master Liu's wife and the steward?"

"This? I heard that Master Liu's concubine ran to the constabulary to file a complaint. I don't know the specifics, but as soon as the constables arrived at the Liu residence, they stripped the steward and Master Liu's son right in front of everyone. Guess what happened?"

I'm a child, and you want me to guess!

Xu Qing said with a smile, "I bet they both have identical moles on their butts, and these moles are shaped like matching peach blossoms!"

"."

Wu Yaoxing, who was in the middle of telling his story, felt like a rooster about to crow that had its neck suddenly squeezed. He was so frustrated he could barely stand it!

"You little brat, if you knew about this, why did you come asking me?"

Seeing Wu Yaoxing puffing up his cheeks and glaring, Xu Qing quickly tried to smooth things over. "How could I? I heard it from others, but it wasn't as captivating as when you tell it. When you tell it, it's like I'm in a teahouse, so comfortable!"

Wu Yaoxing's expression softened slightly. As they chatted back and forth, Xu Qing also got the full story.

As the saying goes, good deeds never go out of the house, but bad deeds travel a thousand miles.

Ever since the Liu residence's concubine, Su Hongxiu, had filed a lawsuit with the authorities, the constables and soldiers had descended upon the Liu residence like bandits raiding a village. Without a word, they first stripped the steward, Song Cai, and Young Master Liu.

After confirming that the two men had identical birthmarks, Constable Zhao Zhonghe immediately drew a Guangzhong Treasure Blade, a palm wide and three feet long, and was about to cut open their fingers to test for kinship through blood.

Young Master Liu thought he was going to be executed on the spot and cried out, "Father! My dear father!"

Zhao Zhonghe's voice was naturally gruff. He roared, "Who's your father! Speak straight!"

Young Master Liu trembled and pointed a finger at Song Cai. "He, he's my father!"

The steward, Song Cai, let out a long sigh and collapsed onto the ground.

Zhao Zhonghe ignored them and was about to escort the two to the holding cell for trial. As they were leaving the Liu residence, the lady of the house, the Liu Family's matriarch, came out with a wad of silver notes to block their path. Upon asking her identity, it turned out she was Young Master Liu's mother?

They took her away too!

After an all-night interrogation, a scandal that shocked the streets and alleys of Linhe Fang, along with a murder case, surfaced.

As the saying goes, lust often leads to murder, and only self-love brings peace.

With this, the case of Master Liu's murder at the hot springs was considered completely solved.

"What happened to the Liu residence now?" Xu Qing was curious. If all the heads of the Liu family were taken away, wouldn't Su Hongxiu, the oriole, be the biggest winner?

"The Liu residence? It was sealed by the officials long ago. I reckon everything will end up in the government's hands."

"Sealed? Then the Liu family's concubine who reported this should at least inherit some property, right?" This time, Xu Qing truly hadn't expected it. Could it be that Su Hongxiu was just the mantis wielding the knife, and the constabulary was the oriole that reaped the rewards in the end?

Wu Yaoxing took another persimmon cake that was handed to him and told a completely new version that Xu Qing didn't know.

After about the time it takes to brew a cup of tea, Xu Qing understood why Su Hongxiu hadn't become the winner.

It turned out that just as Su Hongxiu was preparing to take over the Liu family's assets, the old man in charge of the Liu residence's accounts, Song Cai's own uncle, also filed a lawsuit.

The lawsuit stated that during her time at the Liu residence, Su Hongxiu had met with outsiders more than once, and even climbed over the wall to be intimate with them. She was also suspected of adultery!

Originally, kinship is not proof, and Song Cai's uncle's testimony could not be used as evidence in court. However, the government itself was a money-devouring beast, and with such a large fortune in the Liu family, even the officials couldn't help but covet it!

After several rounds of back and forth, although Su Hongxiu was not found guilty, her property was confiscated along with the Liu residence. Helpless, she and her maid ended up in the red-light district, returning to their old profession.

After all, they had no experience in other trades. After much thought, they found that their original line of work was the most comfortable.

After their chat, Xu Qing politely declined Wu Yaoxing's invitation to dinner, fearing that his habit of chewing on candles would scare the man.

Leaving the paper craft shop, he walked not far ahead and reached the coffin shop at the street corner.

Looking at the three large characters 'Anle Shou' in black and red on the plaque, Xu Qing subconsciously patted his cheeks.

For some reason, every time he passed by the coffin shop, he felt a drowsy sensation, as if the coffins inside were more comfortable than a soft bed.

He walked into the shop and was immediately greeted by two black coffins.

On the left coffin's foot, a couplet was pasted: "No man lives a thousand years";

On the right coffin's foot, another couplet was pasted: "I offer longevity."

Looking at the horizontal inscription...

Xu Qing looked up and saw a red coffin hanging from the beam above. The bottom of the coffin read: "Longevity has no second price."

"Shou" (寿) sounds like "shou" (售), meaning "to sell," and also like "guan" (棺), meaning "coffin."

The meaning was a one-time deal, no matter the price of the coffin!

As Xu Qing was engrossed in looking, a lean old man wearing a burial robe walked out from the inner room, his hands behind his back.

"Young man, are you here to purchase a coffin or place an order?"

Xu Qing pondered for a moment and said, "I'd like to purchase two coffins. They don't need to be too fancy, but preferably with plenty of space, cool in the summer and warm in the winter, and good ventilation."

"."

Hu Baosong raised an eyebrow and interrupted, "You're a filial young man, but that's not how you choose a coffin."

As they spoke, Hu Baosong walked to a coffin near the shop entrance and reached out to stroke the coffin board. Just as he was about to explain the intricacies to Xu Qing, he suddenly caught sight of something rolling into the shop entrance.

"Where did this copper coin come from?" The old man rubbed his somewhat blurry eyes, wondering if he was mistaken.

Xu Qing turned his head at the sound, only to see a copper coin rolling from the alley across the street towards the entrance of the coffin shop, standing on its edge!

Strangely enough, the coin looked a bit familiar. Wasn't it the Green Cicada Coin he had lost earlier?

After being discarded, the coin had traveled through streets and alleys, circling for a long time before finally finding its way back to its origin. Now, like a tadpole searching for its mother, it busily rolled to Xu Qing's feet, jingling and chirping coquettishly as it spun twice before finally coming to rest on the ground by his heels.

Seeing Xu Qing pick up the coin, Hu Baosong first frowned slightly, then his expression changed drastically.

"Quick, throw this money away! If this money ran here by itself, it's probably unclean. It might be money thrown by lonely ghosts to buy their way or ask for directions!"

As soon as Hu Baosong finished speaking, another copper coin rolled from the alley across the street, stopping precisely in the same spot as its "brother."

"Damn it! Don't you even know where you are? Your ancestor here has been eating ghosts since childhood, shitting ghosts, and still has forty-two ghost thighs stewing in the pot at home! If you want to ask for directions or buy your way, you better check if you're strong enough!"

Hu Baosong was the type to act first and ask questions later. Seeing the coin approach under such strange circumstances, he suddenly reached out, picked up the coin on the ground, snatched the one from Xu Qing's hand, and with all his might, threw them both away, cursing loudly and nonsensically as he did so!

"Don't be scared, young man! What kind of things haven't we seen in this line of work? Those lonely ghosts are most afraid of foul language. As long as we curse fiercely enough, they won't dare to come and harm people!"

"..."

Xu Qing stared at the coins that had returned only to be thrown away again, speechless for a long time.

Would they find their way back again soon?

Thinking of this, Xu Qing didn't dare to linger any longer. He was afraid that if the two coins made a U-turn and came back, it would make Old Master Hu unable to sleep for days and nights.

He couldn't do such a wicked thing!

After chatting with Hu Baosong and confirming the delivery date, Xu Qing hurried away from the coffin shop.

Although he didn't get to see Old Man Hu's large coffin that could fit two or three people on this trip to the coffin shop, he had ordered two new coffins for stocking up and had also verified the effectiveness of the Green Cicada Money Returning Curse.

It could be considered a worthwhile trip!