Performance Review

A guy wanted to log off and leave. After taking two steps, he saw so many people waiting outside for a computer that he thought it over and returned to his seat. Leaving now felt like a loss, especially since the Internet fees he was spending had all come from free bonus credit. The thought made him feel great, so he decided to play for another two hours.

"Number 14 is logging off."

"That'll be eleven yuan."

Hearing that, Chen Hao quickly swallowed the food in his mouth and tapped a couple of times on the computer.

"Uh, what are you going to do about your membership?"

When he looked up, he was delighted. It was that big brother from before, the one who had refused to get a card.

"It's like this. You can choose which tier you'd like to recharge. The more you add, the more you get free. If you sign up now, we can deduct the Internet fees you just used from your membership card."

After hearing the explanation, the big brother stopped hesitating. "Let's start with 300 yuan."

"This promotion is only valid for two days. After that, the original prices will return, so it won't be as worthwhile."

The big brother hesitated as he stared at the recharge promotion sheet on the counter. After thinking it over, and hearing Chen Hao recommend it so enthusiastically, he said, "Then let's do 500."

"Great choice, big brother. This tier is the best deal. Please wait a moment~"

Clatter, clatter. After entering the information, Chen Hao handed the big brother a card.

"Thank you for your patronage." Seeing the big brother leave in satisfaction, Chen Hao glanced at the computer screen, then turned and shouted, "Is number 22 in the waiting area here? If not, I'm moving on!"

"Here! Here! Here!" A guy hurried over with his slip. As he passed through the waiting crowd on both sides, an inexplicable sense of superiority rose in his heart. It made his steps feel almost weightless.

"Computer 14."

"Got it~" Number 22's eyes shone. He rubbed his hands and excitedly walked toward computer 14, like a brothel woman was waiting for him to favor her.

After the three of them finished eating, Chen Hao summed up the morning's battle results. "The first half is over. Things have exceeded my expectations. Let's keep it up for the rest of the day—there's still the second half. I checked the system just now. Guess how much we've taken in from this morning until now?"

Pang Ban shook his head to show that he had no idea.

"Twenty thousand?" Xu Pengkun offered uncertainly.

Chen Hao held up three fingers. He had already estimated a very high amount, yet it seemed he had still underestimated people's enthusiasm for the Internet and games.

"While we have the time, everyone should rest. I expect another peak after five."

Chen Hao looked at the system. They had issued 256 membership cards so far. To be safe, he said, "Old Ban, contact the card manufacturer again later and order another five hundred membership cards. This time, have them deliver them for free. We'll cover the transportation costs."

Pang Ban nodded, found the card manufacturer's business card, picked up the landline, and began making the call. As usual, he handled things swiftly and decisively.

Xu Pengkun took it upon himself to clean the premises.

Chen Hao also went around to check on things and answer the cyber-addicts' questions. Whenever the players currently online saw Hao Ge approach, they hurried to seize the opportunity and kept calling out to him, like starving chicks crying for food.

Old Ban stayed at the counter, handling the people who came in one after another to get membership cards.

A little after five in the evening, the long line outside Pentium Internet Cafe appeared again.

The three of them plunged back into the great membership-card campaign.

A middle-aged couple watched the size of the line from a distance. The woman wanted to go over and take a look, but the man stopped her. After exchanging a few words, they left hand in hand.

They stayed busy until a little after eight. Only then did Chen Hao find time to call home and explain, saying that he would be back late today.

Winter came early in Northeast China. Most residents generally went to bed around nine or ten at night.

Those who planned to stay up all night prepared to do so, while those who needed to go home had already left.

Xu Pengkun had just left. Chen Hao and Pang Ban were wrapping things up, stacking all the money they had taken in that day, securing it with rubber bands, and checking the accounts. Everything balanced, and Chen Hao finally put the money into his backpack.

"I'm heading out. Thanks for your hard work today!"

Chen Hao patted Pang Ban on the shoulder, slung his bag over his back, and left.

As soon as he went downstairs, Uncle Wang from the restaurant below greeted him.

"Xiao Hao, heading home?"

"Yeah. Uncle Wang, how was business today?"

"Better than good. Everything in the shop that could be eaten sold out. I haven't even had dinner yet!" Although he had not eaten, Uncle Wang's face was still glowing red. He hurriedly asked, "By the way, when does your promotion end?"

"It ends tomorrow. One more day."

"Ah, only one day left? All right. Tell me ahead of time next time you run a promotion~"

"No problem~" Chen Hao agreed, then headed home.

With a huge amount of money on his back, he felt utterly confident. His steps were as light and swift as the wind.

"The vassal lords attend the Son of Heaven and report on their duties." Reporting on one's duties meant reporting on the work one was responsible for. —Mencius: King Hui of Liang

Today, "reporting on one's duties" generally referred to periodically reporting one's work to a superior or the relevant department.

That was why most people scratched their heads anxiously while preparing their work reports before such a review. Most people had obviously failed to meet their KPIs—key performance indicators—allowing the capitalists to use that as an excuse to reduce their bonuses.

Since the results were unsatisfactory, focusing on the process was not merely a last resort. How much work had been done? If one had not achieved much but still wanted to make the work sound grand, convey that it had been impressive, and paint a bright future, then what was there to do?

Use Internet buzzwords to draw a reverse blueprint.

Internet jargon became an invincible tool. It immediately elevated one's status: diversified empowerment, exerting force, key leverage, closed loops. Any grand-sounding term could be used endlessly and ruthlessly.

For example, here was a classic of the genre: The underlying logic was to break through information barriers and create a new industry ecosystem. The top-level design focused on the user-perception track, reaching the ignition point through differentiation and granularity. Added value in vertical fields would be achieved through reusable strategies to create lasting benefits, with experience measurement serving as the evaluation standard for the closed loop. Highlights were the medium, and advantages were the links. Consider the entire life cycle and improve logical planning through resource prioritization. The methodology was a combination of tactics that reached platform standards.

You recognized every character in the whole passage, but once they were put together, you still needed to hire a Chinese translator.

Who can translate this? What the hell is this supposed to mean?

Yes, this was an excerpt from a work report by some major Internet company. Some executives in the past had genuinely bought into this kind of thing.

Internet jargon had even broken out of its original circle.

The atmosphere team at a nightclub was no longer called an atmosphere team. It was called the Electronic Music Division.

Salespeople were no longer called salespeople. They were called CRM—customer relationship management—and suddenly sounded incredibly high-end. Even going out dancing felt completely different.

The inspiration probably came from the phrases "freelancing," "flexible employment," and "steady progress amid overall improvement," which had been used by the bigwigs of the Internet world.

Working overtime was not called working overtime. It was a blessing.

Layoffs were not called layoffs. They were called "graduation," sending talent into society.

Every last one of them acted like they were CPU Masters!

Chen Hao had no such anxiety now.

When he got home, the two "leaders" indeed had their eyes wide open. Clearly, they were waiting for his "work report."

Without any unnecessary words, he pulled open the zipper of his backpack,

Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap.