Performance Review

A buddy wanted to get off the computer. He took two steps, saw how many people were waiting outside, and thought for a moment. He turned back to his seat, feeling it would be a waste to leave now, especially since the internet fees were currently covered by top-up bonuses. He felt great and decided to play for another two hours.

"Number 14, time to log off."

"That'll be 11 yuan."

Hearing the voice, Chen Hao quickly swallowed his food and made a few clicks on the computer.

"Uh, how do I get a membership card?"

He looked up and chuckled. It was the same guy who had refused to get a card earlier.

"It's like this. You can choose which tier you want to top up, the more you top up, the more you get. If you sign up now, we can deduct your recent internet fees from the membership card."

After hearing the explanation, the guy didn't hesitate. "I'll top up 300 yuan first."

"This promotion is only for two days. After that, it will revert to the original price, which would be less cost-effective."

The guy looked at the top-up promotion table on the counter, hesitated, and then, with a sigh, said, "Then I'll top up 500."

"Big brother has excellent taste, this tier is the most suitable. Please wait a moment~"

With a flurry of typing, the registration was complete, and he handed the guy a card.

"Thank you for your patronage." Watching the satisfied customer leave, Chen Hao glanced at the computer screen and then shouted, "Is number 22 in the waiting area? If not, we're moving on!"

"Here! Here! Here!" A guy holding a slip of paper hurried over. As he passed the waiting crowd on either side, he felt an inexplicable sense of superiority, making his steps a little floaty.

"Machine number 14."

"You got it~" The guy at number 22's eyes lit up, and he rubbed his hands together, walking excitedly towards machine 14, like a courtesan awaiting his favor.

After the three of them had eaten, Chen Hao summarized the morning's performance. "The first half is over. The actual situation has exceeded my expectations. Let's keep it up for the second half. I just checked the system, guess how much money we've made from this morning until now?"

Pang Ban shook his head, indicating he didn't know.

"20,000?" Xu Pengkun ventured uncertainly.

Chen Hao held up three fingers. His estimated amount was already high, but it seemed he had underestimated people's current enthusiasm for the internet and gaming.

"While we have the chance, everyone take a break. We expect another peak after 5 PM."

Chen Hao looked at the system. So far, 256 membership cards had been issued. Just in case, "Old Ban, go contact the card-making boss again and order another five hundred membership cards. This time, have them deliver them, and we'll cover the travel expenses."

Pang Ban nodded, found the card boss's business card, picked up the desk phone, and started making the call. He was as decisive as ever.

Xu Pengkun took it upon himself to clean the area.

Chen Hao also went around to answer the questions of the internet addicts. Seeing Hao Ge approaching, the players online quickly tried to get his attention. Hao Ge was being called non-stop, like a flock of hungry chicks.

Old Ban held down the fort at the counter, processing the people who were continuously coming to get membership cards.

Around 5 PM, a long queue reappeared outside the Pentium Internet Cafe.

Chen Hao and the other two plunged back into the business of issuing membership cards.

A middle-aged couple observed the length of the queue from a distance. The woman wanted to go closer, but the man pulled her back. After a few words exchanged between them, they left hand in hand.

It wasn't until past 8 PM that Chen Hao finally found a moment to call home and explain that he would be back late.

In the Northeast, winter nights fall early, and most residents generally go to bed around nine or ten o'clock.

Those who planned to stay up all night were doing so, and those who were going home had already left.

Just as Xu Pengkun left, Chen Hao and Pang Ban were wrapping things up. They stacked the day's earnings, secured them with rubber bands, and reconciled the accounts. Everything matched perfectly. Finally, Chen Hao put the money into his backpack.

"I'm heading out. Thanks for the hard work today!"

Patting Pang Ban on the shoulder, Chen Hao slung his backpack on and left.

As soon as he went downstairs, Uncle Wang from the restaurant downstairs greeted him.

"Xiao Hao, heading home?"

"Yeah, Uncle Wang. Business good today?"

"More than good! Everything edible in the shop was sold out today. I haven't even eaten yet!" Despite not having eaten, Uncle Wang's face was beaming. He quickly asked, "By the way, how long is your promotion running?"

"It ends tomorrow."

"Ah, just one more day? Okay, let me know in advance if you run another promotion later, alright?"

"No problem~" Chen Hao agreed and then headed in the direction of his home.

Carrying a large sum of money, he felt confident and walked with a brisk pace.

"When feudal lords attended court before the Son of Heaven, it was called a 'Shuzhi' (performance review). Shuzhi means to recount what one has been in charge of." - Mencius, King Hui of Liang

In modern times, "Shuzhi" generally refers to periodically reporting work status to superiors or relevant authorities.

Therefore, most people frantically scratch their heads before a performance review because most people's KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) definitely haven't met expectations, allowing capitalists to pay out fewer bonuses.

Since the results are not ideal, focusing on the process during the performance review becomes an unavoidable method. How much work has been done? If not much achievement has been made, but you want to express that the work done is very high-level, and that this work content is excellent with a bright future, what can be done?

Using internet jargon to reverse-engineer a "pie in the sky."

Internet jargon becomes an all-purpose tool, directly elevating one's own status. Terms like "multi-dimensional empowerment," "exerting effort," "leveraging points," and "closed-loop" – whatever sounds high-level, use it to death.

For example, this classic passage: "The underlying logic is to break down information barriers and create a new industry ecosystem. The top-level design is to focus on the user perception track, achieving an inflection point through differentiation and granularity. Value-added is achieved by adopting a reusable strategy in vertical fields to achieve sustained benefits, with user experience metrics serving as the evaluation standard for the closed-loop. The highlight is the carrier, and the advantage is the link. Consider the entire life cycle and refine the logic to consider resource allocation. The methodology is to achieve platform-level standards through a combination of tactics."

Every character in the passage was familiar, but when combined, they formed sentences that required a Chinese translator.

Someone translate this for me! What the hell does this mean?

Hmm, this is an excerpt from a work report from a major internet company. Some executives used to really fall for this kind of thing.

To the point where internet jargon has broken out of its usual circles.

The atmosphere crew at a nightclub isn't called the atmosphere crew; they're the Electronic Music Business Unit.

Salespeople aren't called salespeople either; they're CRM Customer Relationship Management. Suddenly, it sounds so sophisticated, like you're on a foreign yacht, and it feels completely different.

It's likely that the big shots in the internet industry got their inspiration from terms like "freelancer," "flexible employment," and "stable and positive progress."

Working overtime isn't called working overtime; it's called "blessed work" (fúbào).

Layoffs aren't called layoffs; they're called "graduating" and "supplying talent to society."

Everyone here is a damn CPU Master, acting all high and mighty!

Chen Hao doesn't have that kind of anxiety now.

When he got home, as expected, his two "supervisors" had their eyes wide open, clearly waiting for his "performance review."

Without any preamble, he unzipped his backpack.

Pak pak pak pak pak pak.