Get in There, I'm Ready

In an internet café in Shen City.

Smack, smack, smack.

The sound of hands slapping the keyboard.

A burly, bald man glared viciously at the mage named Say It Later and the Taoist Long Future on the screen.

"What kind of shitty keyboard is this? These damn characters are so hard to type!"

The man was beside himself with rage. Fuck, he had only bought that Purgatory two days ago, and before he could even enjoy it, it was gone. That alone would have been fine—after all, it was only worth a few hundred yuan, and he could afford it.

But he had been cursed at dozens of times and had not managed to fire back even once before dying. Wang Hu had fought countless times, winning more than he lost, yet he had never suffered such humiliation in his life. It was simply the greatest disgrace!

"Xiao Liu? Where the fuck did that bastard die?"

"Brother Hu, what do we do? We have to get our turf back." A skinny man hurried over to the bald man. He was the Taoist from the six-man group that had just been wiped out.

"Hurry up and call people. Get the brothers online. Wake every damn one of them up and get them moving. I'm giving you ten minutes!" The bald man ground his molars, his cheeks twitching.

"Got it!"

The bald man thought darkly, You two better wait for me. If six people aren't enough, I refuse to believe more than twenty tough guys can't gang up and kill you two idiots.

Purgatory.

The signature weapon of warriors.

At this point in time, barely over a month after the server had opened, a warrior with Purgatory and one without it were practically two different classes.

At the current market price, a Purgatory could easily sell for several hundred thousand gold coins.

Chen Hao's mage blinked forward. Uh... he couldn't pick it up.

Insufficient carrying capacity

"My bag is full. Hurry over and pick it up. Don't suddenly disconnect like last time, or you'll cry without even knowing where to find the grave!" After saying that, Chen Hao waited until Big Bird came trotting over before moving aside.

In 2002, the Internet still required a dial-up Modem connected to a telephone line. Its connection sound was like a donkey braying.

Modem was its English name, and because of the homophone, netizens affectionately called it a "cat." The network was extremely unstable back then, randomly glitching out and disconnecting from time to time.

Chen Hao had suffered badly because of that. He remembered fighting zombies in the mines before, when a Prayer Helmet had dropped. Its drop rate was extremely low, and it was worth several hundred yuan. Before he could pick it up—

The internet café disconnected.

A few minutes later, Chen Hao reconnected successfully. Praying that no one had passed by, he got his wish—indeed, no one had.

But his little mage had already been slapped to the ground by a zombie and was watching black-and-white television.

By the time he revived and returned, the ground was spotless. Forget equipment—there was not even a single zombie in sight. At first glance, it looked as though a safe zone had suddenly appeared inside the zombie cave.

It hurt! It hurt so much!

That became one of Chen Hao's few lingering grievances. It took him several days to get over it, and ever since then, he could not stand hearing the word "pray."

Xu Pengkun had been the only witness present at the time, so without hesitation, he controlled his Taoist to stand over the Purgatory. The next moment, another bundle of large red potions appeared on the ground, and only then did the Purgatory vanish.

Xu Pengkun let out a breath. Thinking of Chen Hao's insane hand speed just now, he clicked his tongue. "Haozi, your hand speed has reached a whole new level now."

"Nothing special. I'm only third-best in the world. If you were single, you could reach this level too."

"Uh, forget it. I can't afford that! Compared to hand speed, girls are more fun."

"Peh! You scumbag!"

"Scumbag?" Though Xu Pengkun did not know what the word meant, he could roughly grasp the context and continued teasing him.

"If you've got what it takes, you can be one too. Want me to introduce you to someone at our school? The girls at our school are pretty good quality."

"Women only slow down the speed at which I draw my blade!"

"Look at you."

The two chatted nonsense as they cleaned up the battlefield, collecting a huge haul of supplies and unexpected loot.

Murder and arson made fortunes—the ancients had not lied.

Upon reaching the second floor, Chen Hao looked at the dense mass of inactive statue guards ahead.

"Enough bullshit. There shouldn't be anyone ahead now. This time, you go in front and I'll stay behind. I'll lure more monsters over to block the entrance."

Hearing that, Xu Pengkun led the way, turning invisible every few steps as he moved and stopped. Behind him, Chen Hao swayed his body flamboyantly, luring monsters along.

Their retreat route was blocked by monsters three layers deep inside and out. Monsters were packed against monsters, denser than the most popular tourist attractions during the May Day holiday.

Finally.

After a tense but uneventful journey.

They arrived at Zuma Boss's Lair!

Step three of the plan: start killing!

Before entering, Xu Pengkun cast the two defensive buffs on his Taoist. Following suit, he entered, immediately used Invisibility, observed for one second, then retreated. Even so, his health bar plummeted by a third.

"No good. There are too many monsters inside, and the entrance is completely blocked. Luckily, the Zuma Boss in the middle hasn't activated yet."

Thinking about the densely packed monsters inside, Xu Pengkun still felt lingering fear.

"Just as expected," Chen Hao muttered. The Zuma Boss itself was actually easy to kill. The hardest part was the group of monsters blocking the entrance after entering.

Once inside, two fists could not fight four hands. Unless they were high enough level to force their way through, they would quickly be beaten to death by the monster horde.

"Follow the plan we discussed!"

"Understood!" Xu Pengkun refreshed the two defensive buffs and cast Healing Spell again.

While Healing Spell was still active, the two advanced toward the dark cave entrance.

Inside Zuma Boss's Lair, it was like a gathering of heroes—a monster convention.

Zuma Guards, Zuma Archers, Wedge Moths, and Horn Flies filled the entire screen.

Monsters roared and attacked, while arrows came flying from the distant archers.

The instant they started casting Group Invisibility, both of their health bars were cut in half. They hurriedly drank a bottle of Super Sun Water, then relied on red potions to stay alive.

Come out, Pikachu!

Skeleton Baby and Tire Baby appeared instantly, overlapping with their bodies as they attacked the monsters and absorbed a massive amount of damage.

Begin clearing them out.

Fire Wall Technique spread across the ground first, burning the monsters with huge area-of-effect damage, while Lightning Technique picked off targets one by one.

Following the priorities they had discussed earlier, they focused the archers first, then cleared the Great Hammers nearby. When red potions could no longer sustain them, they used Super Sun Water to keep themselves alive.

Group Invisibility and Healing Spell were cycled as their cooldowns came up.

The glow of skills illuminated half the monitor.

The two silently concentrated on controlling their characters. Neither spoke; the understanding they had built since childhood said everything that needed to be said.

For a while, there was only the furious clatter of keyboards and mice.

The number of monsters gradually decreased, but their red and blue potions were also being consumed rapidly. It was a battle to see who ran out first.

Chen Hao knew clearly that aside from the potion consumption, they were also racing against time.

That group from earlier would definitely return. Especially after losing a Purgatory, they would never let this go. While traveling earlier, Chen Hao had silently calculated that after resupplying, making the trip, and clearing monsters, they had around half an hour.

Ten minutes later, more than half the monsters on the screen had finally been cleared, leaving plenty of room for the two to maneuver.

More than half the potions in their bags had been used up. Skeleton Baby was at half health, while only two Tire Babies remained.

After the final Zuma Archer was killed, Chen Hao began maneuvering. Keeping close to the edge, he lured monsters away and ran to the innermost spot at the two o'clock position on the map. There was a step beneath a statue there, with a recess behind it, and only monsters in a single open tile ahead could attack him.

Xu Pengkun then directly lured away the monster in that spot and positioned Skeleton Baby there, blocking the attacks of the other monsters.

An Invisibility Talisman flew over. The monsters lost their current target and charged straight at the culprit.

Without attacks from ranged monsters, Chen Hao was completely safe.

"Get in there, I'm ready!" Chen Hao interlocked his fingers and stretched them forward.

After the Horn Flies spawned enough bats, Xu Pengkun went beneath the Zuma Boss statue in the center, raised his middle finger at it, then formed hand seals with both hands. Thousand Years of Death!

The stone sculpture shook. Cracks spread across the statue as broken rocks flew everywhere!

The Zuma Boss leaped down from the stone pillar. It had two horns on its head, armor on its shoulders, and a towering, muscular body, like Chiyou reborn.

After standing confused for a moment, the Zuma Boss let out a furious roar toward the sky. Peh, peh—it spat out the dust that had fallen from above.

Then it suddenly noticed that its head had turned yellow, then green. Sweeping its gaze around, it spotted the culprit.

It turned and charged at the lowly provocateur at high speed.