"Pah! You sleazy old pervert! Pathetic loser! No wonder you'll never win Tsunade over in your life! A rotten sweet potato and a spoiled bird egg like you only need a photo album to jack off for the rest of your days!"
Duke cursed inwardly. You spent all that time with Tsunade and never got her, yet with your romance stats, you somehow wrote a bestselling love novel? Just how starved was the entertainment industry in the Hokage World? Could it be that Kakashi couldn't find a girlfriend because he read your Make-Out Paradise?
What a disgrace. You don't even know how to play to someone's preferences. If I wanted to, I could take Kurenai down in minutes... well, probably!
"Besides her appearance, you've even imitated Tsunade's fighting style perfectly. You really are my disciple. Tsunade isn't someone ordinary people can imitate." Jiraiya flexed his biceps and sighed with deep feeling.
"So... what exactly are you trying to say, Jiraiya-sensei?" Duke had a bad feeling about this.
"News that Tsunade is at the front has already spread across the battlefield. Even that old Third Hokage back in Konoha knows about it. Everyone thinks it's real. And even if we came out to clarify it, the Sand Shinobi on the other side probably wouldn't believe us." Jiraiya laughed helplessly. What kind of world was this? It was clearly fake, yet everyone believed it without question. In these times, telling the truth only made people doubt you.
"They'll think it's Konoha's scheme. They'll assume Lady Tsunade was already lying in wait at the front, preparing to catch them off guard, and that her presence was merely exposed too early," Duke picked up the thread. Smart people were like that—suspicious of everything. The slightest disturbance could send them imagining countless possibilities, always thinking