Memories, are they real or fake?

Chen Tian smiled, not a silly smile, but at the scene that appeared before him.

His soul began to dissipate.

No one could stop him anymore.

He let go of everything, cast everything aside, and looked back at the scene that appeared before him.

It was when he was watching a show, watching her preparing to go on stage.

It was a touch of sunset that had once appeared in his heart. He had advised her not to go on that show because it was boring.

But she said the show gave a lot of money.

He stopped talking. She looked anxious, annoyed, even with a feeling of 'letting things go to pot', really like a little girl.

He was still thinking that her personality hadn't improved, she couldn't handle any pressure, it was all written on her face. As soon as she went on stage, she said that her leader couldn't contact her and thought she was dead. Immediately someone on stage pressed the buzzword light, she looked surprised, and I was also surprised.

I was thinking, is this funny? It seems quite funny, because it's extremely ironic. That's how it is in the industry now, no matter when, even at 3 a.m., you have to be available.

Later I learned that she had severe depression and had attempted suicide many times. The female leader was afraid she would die, really afraid she would die. He always remembered what she said after the story, that the Northern Border's subway circles day after day, circle after circle. The universe has an end, but the Northern Border doesn't, and neither does Shang Hai. Probably everyone who has worked in a first-tier city can smile knowingly when they hear this, a smile with tears.

When in Guangzhou, I took the subway in the wrong direction several times.

Every time she sent me a WeChat message, knowing I was on the subway, she would remind me not to go in the wrong direction.

But actually, considering how many times I took the subway, it was normal to go in the wrong direction a few times.

Guangzhou's subway doesn't circle around and around, it's like a spider web extending from Pearl River Old City. After work, you silently move further and further away from the city's prosperity.

If you get off work on time, squeezing onto the Pearl River Old City subway is an art. At that time, I studied a lot about how to walk to get to the least crowded place the fastest, but it was actually just self-comfort, comforting myself that at least I could get on the next train.

By the last few subways, there were a lot fewer people, but still more than I imagined, but I could safely walk into the subway.

At this time, I would look at the clothes of the men and women in the subway station. They were all dressed brightly and beautifully, perfectly matching the tall buildings.

Later, after changing careers, a friend joked that those people work in the most glamorous office buildings wearing the most glamorous clothes, but their income is far less than that of the programmers in those game companies in the remote suburbs wearing big shorts and slippers.

I sometimes really wonder, what confuses young people, making them think that they can earn more money and live a better life in big cities than in small cities? Later, I switched to the game industry, in remote Luogang, and no longer had to take the subway.

At first, before I moved there, I had to take a bus for a long way, first a road where the houses became fewer and fewer, then I went around an old factory area, and then I passed an orchard, and finally arrived under the overpass, feeling like I was almost there.

The road was new, wide, straight, and the bus dropped me off at the entrance of the residential area. Then I walked nearly 800 meters on Banhe Road to reach the company park.

When it rained, it was terrible. In the factory area, there were cars flooded and stalled everywhere, and the road could only accommodate two cars, so it could be blocked immediately. The driver could only detour, but wherever he detoured, he found it was blocked. The 45-minute commute took three or four hours and still couldn't arrive.

The company was also very humane, knowing this situation and notifying that lateness would not be recorded on that day, while colleagues who took the company bus at Huangcun at eight o'clock in the morning were still nowhere to be seen at two o'clock in the afternoon.

But this is not a problem in the bright daylight.

My work often involved overtime, and the last bus was at nine o'clock, but I left after 12 o'clock.

At first, I called Didi because Didi was cheaper than taxis.

But once when I took Didi, the driver took a shortcut to save distance.

Later, I became very familiar with that shortcut. It was from the old factory area I mentioned, turning left and walking a section of dirt road, entering another factory area. Those factories were much newer, but there were no people in sight. Then I walked another section of dirt road, turned into a farmland, passed a small road in the middle of a pond, and then arrived at Huangpu District.

The first time I took that road, there wasn't a single light, a single person, or a single dog barking. I didn't know if the driver could see the road clearly. I only knew that I was really scared.

I don't even know how to describe that place to others. All I can say is, there wasn't a single dog around. The car bumped along the dirt road, and I could only see the area illuminated by the headlights.

I could only keep chatting amiably with the driver, hinting that someone was waiting for me at the destination, but I knew that wasn't true.

I've told more than one person that stretch of road scared me, but no one seemed to believe me. How scary could a road in Guangzhou be? But eventually, something happened that made me determined to move away.

Living in the new place was a very happy time. The rent wasn't expensive, and the environment was comfortable.

Walking the dog downstairs in the complex, I met many dog ​​friends. It's just that for a while, I lived alone in a one-bedroom apartment, and when I went to work or walked the dog at night, I was always afraid of losing my keys, imagining countless times dropping the keys into the sewer while walking the dog.

That period was actually a relatively peaceful time. Work was also going smoothly, and the team atmosphere was good, which made me see hope for settling down in Guangzhou.

I even started planning to buy a house there at that time.

But I don't know why, from a certain point, things took a sharp turn for the worse. The pressure of being promoted too quickly at work began to distort me. A friend said that I was trying to run before I could walk, and later I resigned.

Looking back, I always feel regret about this resignation, but thinking about it, it seems that there was no other way.

For my next job, I went to Gaowan. I chose to live in Foshan New City, which is very close to Gaowan.

I am really a person who is very good at renting houses. It seems that I am lucky enough to find good houses, but I really did a lot of homework. I looked at a lot of information and made a lot of lists in advance. I knew very well what kind of houses to look at and where to find them.

The first house I rented was in Huangpu, very close to the subway station. The subway took less than 30 minutes to Pearl River Old City. It was an old public dormitory, surrounded by government agencies, safe and comfortable, and the three-bedroom apartment felt very much like home.

The second and third were originally there, and the environment and price were very suitable, so much so that some people envied me when I posted pictures on Moments.

The last one was in Foshan. It took me two days to find it. I spent a whole day looking for a house on the first day, but I couldn't find one that I liked.

The commute had to be within half an hour to get to work, because I worked late, and there couldn't be dark alleys from the subway station to the place of residence, and the price couldn't be too high, otherwise I couldn't afford it; the place had to be big enough to put all my super stuff.

This was really tricky, and the result of the first day was really depressing, especially compared to the original residence.

The next day, a friend at the time accompanied me to see it. I was already very depressed and had no confidence. He encouraged me and comforted me, saying that he would come and find it together today, and I barely moved.

Finally, I found a house with a very good price, right next to the subway station at the entrance of the complex.

I am really very moved by the scene at that time when I talk about this.

At that time, I was full of hope for life in Foshan and had many plans. Sitting at the entrance of that KFC in Pucheng, although very depressed, fortunately everything was fine.

This is a very suitable place to live. To the left when you go out is the tourist spot Ancestral Temple, various internet celebrity check-in spots, and to the right is Pujun New City, with a lot of old Foshan delicacies praised by the surrounding area, cheap and delicious.

There is also a breakfast rice noodle shop behind the complex that tastes better than everything in Guangzhou, only three and a half yuan a piece. I really hope to buy my own apartment there.

It seemed that a bright journey was about to begin, but unfortunately, after struggling for a year, it still ended in failure.

Later, I read a passage, and I repeatedly sent it to my ex on Moments, probably saying that you are like a piece of candy that I have been looking forward to for a long time and worked hard to peel, but it fell to the ground when it was delivered to my mouth.

Someone's universe ends in the stars and the sea, and my universe ends here. I came back to where I was. I took the bus by myself, looking at the ring road and the sea on the bus, and transferred to Houzhai to get out of the island.

The sea in Nan'ao is really beautiful. I remember very clearly that every time I went, I couldn't help but take a lot of photos.

At that time, I also thought, will I live in this place, do I want to live in this place. Everything was different from what I thought. Those reefs and those white seabirds shook their heads and tails and stayed away from me. I have never gained any sense of intimacy from nature.

I am very in awe of nature, and like everyone else, I said to the sea, goodbye, and the sea replied to me, who are you.

Sometimes I also think, will I go to this island again? There's no need, right? I have seen many sceneries here, aren't the seas all over the world like this?

I have also eaten the most delicious seafood on this island, and I won't be able to eat it next time.

I came back at the end of February last year, and it's been more than a year and a half now.

I've experienced more than I imagined. Maybe it's because I owe Shantou too much, and I suddenly came back and had to pay off my debts quickly.

Then suddenly it became quiet in the chaos, which made me a little helpless and at a loss.

Finally, I am finally about to enter a new life.

A few months ago, I thought this was another place for fun, but after calming down, I realized that, like in the past, work is work, and I am myself. It's not what others say it is.

If you are impetuous, you will listen to others again, saying how it should be here, and how you should be.

But unfortunately, I am an extremely proud person. What I say is what it is. I am smarter than most people. That was the case in the past, and it is now.

"What a beautiful illusion."

Chen Tian shed two clear tears, and his body turned into starlight and disappeared into the world.

No one knows if what he saw in the end was what he once was. Maybe it was, or maybe it wasn't.