Yuanmeng Middle School, Fourth Department.
Jia Tingting's academic performance is not ideal.
She is the person Class Monitor Xiao Fang said was being persecuted by "Kao Shi Wang".
As a prospective graduate with only 281 days left before the Eastern Federation Tinghai City high school entrance examination...
She used to be the pride of her parents and teachers, but in the past year or so, her grades have plummeted, and even her teachers asked her if something happened at home.
Everyone who saw Jia Tingting was dundun taught him, saying that time waits for no one and you must fight hard. Tinghai Middle School's focus rate cannot break 100% because of you!
In fact, she worked really hard. Her eyes were wide open during class, and after class she was busy answering questions.
But I don't know what's going on. The harder I work, the less lucky I get. I've obviously passed a lot of questions, but my test scores have inexplicably declined.
The class teacher said that you need to know how to flexibly adjust your studies, so Jia Tingting asked what does flexibility mean and how to make up for missed homework if you don't learn.
When I asked again, the class teacher frowned and said something mysterious like "You don't have any understanding". In fact, Jia Tingting had already seen that the teacher had nothing to do with her.
Sure enough, the head teacher finally held it in for a long time and could only say "What did you do earlier?"
A fallen genius is probably like this.
But she couldn't find the reason herself.
... The greater the pressure, the lazier people become. Being in a daze during evening self-study and morning reading has become Jia Tingting's most enjoyable time.
This life lasted for a year.
Anxiety makes Jia Tingting's brain inexplicably start Auditory Hallucinations.
My ears were filled with another sound.
"... At this point, is it time to go to sleep? Have you clarified the ideas for the final math question? Other students don't go to bed until one or two in the morning."
"... Are you ashamed? Hmm? Are you ashamed? Who can you deserve?"
Sticky and Sharp's voice seemed to be stirring in her brain, making her temples pound and hurt. Jia Tingting was tossing and turning and unable to sleep.
... So I turned on the desk lamp and studied all night.
When her mother saw this scene, she was confused and surprised, but she still couldn't help but remind her:
"Tingting, don't study too late, pay attention to rest."
"It's not just the high school entrance examination. If it doesn't work... it doesn't matter."
"Yeah, I got it."
But standing far away at the entrance to the bedroom, out of sight of her mother, Jia Tingting's eyes were vaguely glowing with scarlet bloodshot eyes, and her expression was painful and ferocious.
"..."
The day after studying all night, summer vacation ends and the new semester officially begins.
In order to gain more study time, their grade starts about a week earlier than other students in late August.
Still those familiar classmates, still those familiar teachers.
But she always felt that the teacher looked at her strangely, and the other seven or eight classmates often looked at her and whispered to each other, with cold eyes that were a bit gloating and mocking, as well as condescending discrimination.
There are only a few whispers, which burrow into the brain like bugs, mixed with those Auditory Hallucinations heard at night.
"... Look, she's distracted again."
"... It really won't work..."
"--Crack!"
A hazy sound that comes and goes, like breathing in the ears, but buzzing deep in the brain.
Jia Tingting suddenly stood up from his seat and couldn't help shouting, "What are you talking about!"
She raised her head suddenly and looked around, but she only saw her stunned classmates, all looking at her Focused.
On the podium, Math Teacher, whose lecture was suddenly interrupted, was also looking at her blankly.
"--Jia, classmate Jia Tingting, do you have any opinions on the teacher's class?"
In the class, the darkness above my head pressed over me like a dark cloud.
Jia Tingting's face became stiff, and a cold air ran from his head to his heels.
Yes, it's class time now and it's too late for everyone to pay attention.
... Then where did the discussion she heard come from?
Afterwards, the head teacher called her parents worriedly, and then the three of them looked at her and sighed, a gesture of pity that made Jia Tingting feel very uncomfortable.
"School Psychology Doctor recently took a leave of absence."
"I suggest you go to the hospital to check."
Listen to the head teacher's advice.
Jia Tingting just realized that he was "sick".
And he was very ill.
No wonder the teacher looked at me like this.
Although I was prescribed a lot of medicine, I couldn't let go of my schoolwork, and I had to continue attending classes normally.
Jia Tingting doesn't know how others see her. They smile at her, which is funny but not really. They are polite to her, but their eyes always make her feel uncomfortable.
--Is this also an illusion?
But even if you insist on taking medicine every day, you will have to drink two or three glasses of water just to take a bunch of medicines that you don't know what to do. You will feel scared and almost vomit after eating...
Her Auditory Hallucinations symptoms showed no signs of abating at all.
"There is something wrong with your study attitude."
"What is your worth?"
"If you fail to pass the key points, your life will be over."
"Everyone else can do it, why can't you?"
"Your first priority now is to study, only study! Everything else is just chores. Don't go to the drawing class... it's useless to study!"
"--It's all for your own good!"
All kinds of Auditory Hallucinations surround Jia Tingting all the time.
When she was washing, when she got the question wrong, when she wanted to take a rest...
She felt like she was about to collapse.
Her face became increasingly haggard. She looked in the mirror at Mirror Self, but she saw a man wearing a school uniform with no facial features.
Gradually, the facial features of the person in the mirror appeared.
It looks like "Jia Tingting".
"Jia Tingting" said to Jia Tingting:
"Can't you bear this pressure?"
"What?"
"The least stressful stage in life is when you go to school. If you can't handle this pressure... you are not qualified to face the rest of your life!"
A corner of the mirror reflects the wall behind Jia Tingting.
The walls are hung all over, and they are all the "Three Good Student" and "Excellent Class Cadre" certificates that Jia Tingting has won in the past.
She has been number one since she was little, and she was also the proud Maiden.
When did it start... It seems that it was after I was divided into classes last year and transferred to the elite class where the pressure was so high.
There, everyone is a genius, which knocks her confidence to pieces.
If she had not entered that class, would her current life be completely different...
"... why?"
"Myself" in the mirror asked coldly, but with a confused voice.
In that mixed sound, there were mother's earnest instructions, classmates' cold whispers, and teachers' disappointed urgings--
In the end, these all turned into "herself" questioning herself:
"Why can't you try harder?"
"Yuanmeng Middle School's 100% focus rate, is it really going to be broken because of you?"
"Everyone else is moving forward, but you... are stagnant! Shameful!"
"Shameful..." "Jia Tingting" froze in place.
An inexplicable hot shame and anger welled up in her heart. She subconsciously took two steps back and bumped into the wall full of awards.
"In the next few days, you have to study hard no matter what."
"Opening Exam, you must improve to the top thirty in the class, even if you cheat!"
"Otherwise..."
A cold voice gave the final urging.
It didn't say anything more about the following content.
But in the next moment, two lines of dark tears flowed from the eyes of "Jia Tingting" in the mirror.
Like black blood, but more like ink.
The picture was extremely horrifying, but somehow, Jia Tingting only felt cold and suffocating, without fear.
"I will always watch you and urge you--"
Finally, I left these words.
It disappeared from Jia Tingting's sight.
... Since then, this "self" has been everywhere.
It is in every book, supervising coldly together with the characters on the textbook cover; it shows a shadow on the blackboard behind the teacher, always watching Jia Tingting.
Like the strictest teacher, supervising Jia Tingting's learning.
It's like...
It's not trying to harm Jia Tingting, it's just doing "good" to Jia Tingting.
But this makes Jia Tingting's learning more stressful and less efficient.
When September came, the school prepared a test for the students.
After the test, everyone was reviewing the answers. Some were happy and some were sad.
Looking at the red crosses on the full paper, Jia Tingting's heart almost died.
Her vision became blurred, and the Auditory Hallucinations coming from "herself" in her ears became louder and louder, but it was no longer those gossips or questions.
Instead, he prophesied in a hurried tone.
It is a worthless and eliminated future. It predicts that Jia Tingting is destined to be swept into a dark corner like garbage in the future, where it will rot and stink.
"Don't..."
The voice said--
This is you, Jia Tingting, this is your ending.
"Stop talking!"
Under heavy pressure, Jia Tingting finally reached the edge of collapse.
She lost her temper again.
Fortunately, her voice was drowned out by Dismissal Bell.
"One two one!"
"One two one!"
"Set sail! Keep your fighting spirit high! Love me Class 3! Let's create brilliance together!"
"One! Two! Three! Four! One two three four!"
"..."
The loud slogans came out from Sports Field, accompanied by the cheerful drumbeat and rhythm of the radio.
The students are running and exercising.
Jia Tingting, who was in a daze, hid in an old toilet in the corner of the campus.
There is no one here, only the sound of running water and the pattering sound of heavy Plastic Curtain blown by the gentle breeze.
"Who... are you?"
In front of the mirror in the bathroom, Jia Tingting looked at Mirror Self. She still looked like the proud girl in the past, and her eyes gradually became bloodshot.
"I am you."
"Jia Tingting" in the mirror smiled ferociously towards the outside of the mirror.
"Do you still remember your previous pride? Do you still remember your old air? Do you still remember everything you left behind?"
"Look at your pitiful appearance now. How disappointed would you be if your past self knew about it?"
"Everyone can be number one, why can't you be number one?"
"--It's not because you don't work hard enough!"
"Are you worthy of your parents who worked hard to support your education?"
"Are you worthy of the teacher who disappointed you?"
"Are you worthy of your ambitious self in the past?"
"--Are you worthy of me?"
The roar of questioning stopped here.
Mirror Jia Tingting, lost his facial features again.
Faceless People, wearing school uniform, walked out of the mirror step by step under the dull gaze of Jia Tingting.
It walked up to Jia Tingting and murmured in a low voice against its ear, its voice sounding like Demon's bewitchment:
"I gave you a chance."
"Loser, who has the lowest grades, is only worthy of becoming a stepping stone and nourishment for the strong."
"People whose grades are not good enough, people who affect the Yuanmeng Middle School key rate--"
"Such people are not worthy of breathing the air of the world!"
"Not worthy..."
Jia Tingting was stunned, just repeating the other person's words.
She was overwhelmed by unparalleled feelings of shame, guilt and immense sadness.
She has almost lost all her sanity and is immersed in these negative emotions and cannot extricate herself.
"Your parents, your teachers, and your classmates must all think so."
The whispering in my ears continues:
"You are a disgrace to them, you are trash that they are ashamed to mention to others... You have dragged everyone down, why are you still alive?"
The accusations from everyone resurfaced in Jia Tingting's mind.
She felt those disappointments, and also felt those heavy... heavy loves.
cold.
There is a simple, biting cold.
Jia Tingting's school uniform has been soaked for some time.
It's cold when you put it on and it's cold when you take it off.
--Just as she realized the heavy things she was carrying.
If...
Would everyone be happy without me?
Yuanmeng Middle School No one will hold him back, his deskmate will have someone with better grades to guide him, the teacher will not be disappointed, and the parents will not be ashamed.
It seems that everyone is happy.
"Yeah... why am I still alive?"
Jia Tingting's face showed some doubts.
It's better to be relieved than ever.
Isn't there a saying that goes, go early and come back early?
--Perhaps, because of the hard study experience at Yuanmeng Middle School, it is equivalent to serving the sentence in hell, and I can go to heaven directly?
Faceless People also nodded happily:
"Then--just go die!"
"... go die?"
Jia Tingting was suddenly stunned.
"Go, die, die, die, die..."
Faceless People's whisper in the ear turned into countless echoes, as if everyone was urging Jia Tingting--
Go to hell!
"Just die there, in that corner where no one cares."
"Don't disturb other students."
Faceless People Raise your hand and point to the innermost position of the toilet.
A closed narrow door slowly opened, and inside there was a white rope hanging from the beam, dangling.
Following Roof Person wearing Yuanmeng School Uniform, Jia Tingting walked slowly over.
"...!"
The moment he raised his hand and touched the rope, Jia Tingting felt as if he had been struck by lightning, and his whole body was shocked.
The Auditory Hallucinations of the past few days has receded like an ebbing tide.
She heard something different.
"That's..."
"Actually, you can consider signing up for a painting training camp. If you are a student with special talents, you should be able to go to a good high school."
"Of course, it's up to you whether you apply or not. As long as you study hard, no matter how high your score is in the end, you will be the teacher's pride."
"The scale of life is very long. Don't seize the day. As long as you don't give up on yourself, you will get ahead sooner or later."
--This is the suggestion made by the head teacher for her.
"Tingting, if you really can't continue studying, your mother will suspend your studies for you. Let's go home and have a good rest, okay?"
"You've wanted that yellow rabbit doll for a long time. Look what this is. Dad bought it for you. It's an extra-large one!"
--This is the kind look of her parents in front of her.
"Tingting, are you okay?"
"These are my math notes. I'll lend them to you. Maybe they will be helpful to you."
--These are the words of a classmate who is very concerned about her.
How...
Is it completely different from what she remembers, even completely opposite?
What about urging?
What about persecution?
What about everyone's discrimination, indifference, and shame on her?
Jia Tingting is confused.
Could it be that, in fact, this has never happened to anyone, but she just thinks too much and is putting pressure on herself?
--Which one is her own Auditory Hallucinations, and which one is real?
"Those, of course, don't exist!"
Accompanied by a ferocious scream.
These images disappeared, and Faceless People occupied all of Jia Tingting's sight.
He approached Jia Tingting, his voice was extremely urgent:
"You're just too tired and want everyone's approval too much."
"But the cruel reality cannot be changed!"
As he spoke, Faceless People scratched his chest and neck with his sharp nails.
Only when I looked carefully did I realize that there were sharp fingertips there...
It is clearly a black gel pen that grows together with the flesh and blood of the palm!
The sharp pen tip cuts through the flesh and blood.
The skin was torn and blood vessels torn open.
But no blood came out.
What dripped down from the chest, neck, and face Upper Class was sticky, faintly reflective, pitch-black ink.
"Tick tick tick..."
The ink fell on the white porcelain floor, splashing out petals that were stained by the water.
They did not flow and disperse, but instead snaked and wriggled on the ground, automatically outlining a complex pattern, with obscure spells stuffed in the gaps between the patterns.
It's like a sacrifice.
And standing in the middle of the pattern is the failed product that was sacrificed - of course it is Jia Tingting with a dazed face.
Faceless People stood behind Jia Tingting, put his hands on her shoulders, and whispered to Jia Tingting.
The solemn voice is like a hymn at a grand ceremony:
"Caged Bird, when will you fly?"
It asked Jia Tingting.
Without waiting for Jia Tingting to answer, it spoke again, with a higher tone:
"If you can't fly - I'd rather die!"
Would rather die!
Like a puppet on strings, Jia Tingting's brain froze.
Her hands were raised uncontrollably, reaching for the white rope hanging in the air.
At the same time, she raised her feet, leaned her upper body forward, and poked her head over -
So tired...
The exhaustion from her heart made her unable to raise her eyes at all.
When Jia Tingting was eleven years old, he vowed to pass the Tinghai University entrance examination.
But now she just wants to take a good vacation and get some sleep.
Just...
"I don't deserve to live."
Originally, such thoughts ran through her brain and dominated all his actions.
But in the deepest part of my heart, there seems to be Another Voice, recalling it like this in a subtle way.
"No..."
"Don't... want... to die..."
However, this voice was covered by countless emotions and could not be received by Jia Tingting's own brain.
"Save... save... me..."
"I don't want to die..."
It's purely a coincidence, but it seems destined--
Under her feet, on the white porcelain floor tiles of the toilet, there was a scarlet "Last Will" that neither she nor Kao Shi Wang could see.
This "Last Will" is shining, and it resonates highly with the Jia Tingting at this moment.
But no one knows it, no one notices it.
A rope has been tied around his neck.
All Jia Tingting's movements are like a puppet with strings, completely controlled by the person next to him, and then... he just wants to die.
The oxygen gradually came out, and the feeling of suffocation came over me.
He clearly felt that his strength was rapidly draining away, and the extremely painful feeling made Jia Tingting's legs struggle in mid-air.
"Who... who is coming Save Me..."
My mind was extremely clear, but it was only the last moment of consciousness.
Only Faceless People stood aside with satisfaction, admiring his masterpiece.
Its figure gradually grew taller, its feet Ink-Drawn Sacrifice Pattern glowed faintly, and it chanted the question again:
"Caged Bird, when will you fly?"
The next moment--
There was a "clang" and the sound of broken glass.
It was like lightning flashing and falling from the sky.
The rotating iron tool cut through the white rope the moment it passed through the air.
Jia Tingting fell down, his face flushed and he kept coughing.
"Who!"
Faceless People immediately screamed, and while the air vibrated, it looked intently.
But they found that the thing that was spinning and cutting off the rope was just a...
Someone randomly broke off Bench Leg from an unknown classroom or office?!
At this time, the voice of Cursingly sounded from outside the toilet.
"Break a person's wings with my own hands, put a bird in a cage, and then ask him when he will fly?"
"--What kind of nonsense is this!"
The moment the words fell.
"Boom--!!!"
The toilet Great Door, which was locked by Faceless People, was kicked open.
The fallen Great Door brought up sawdust and smoke.
Two uninvited guests who broke the door broke in together.
"Surprise inspection! I'm a teacher!"
"Look what little bastard is hiding here and escaping!"
Bai Zhou raised ID Card on his chest, glanced at the toilet, and immediately saw Faceless People in school uniform, and Jia Tingting lying on the ground coughing loudly.
Then, he put down ID Card, raised his finger and pointed at the two of them and shouted:
"Jia Tingting! Swings are not allowed in school public toilets!"
"And that shameless guy over there--"
"Violation of school rules, something happened between you two!"