Down on His Luck Priest

The soldiers left, and Paul locked the door behind them.

Seeing this, the priest suddenly grew flustered, cold sweat beading on his forehead. "Lord Greiman, although I know I'm handsome and talented, I offered everything I have to the Lord of Light long ago."

Paul said, "Huh? What are you talking about? Never mind. Take off your clothes and let me have a look first."

I'm done for. It looks like I won't be able to escape this calamity today. Sigh, being too handsome is a sin in itself. I've heard that nobles and the upper echelons of the Church are into this sort of thing, but I never expected such a young child to have picked up this bad habit.

"Lord of Light! Please forgive Your servant." The priest silently prayed, then flopped onto the bed. Turning his head toward Paul, he said with tears in his eyes, "Please be gentle~"

"Get the hell up right now!"

Paul flew into a rage, his face turning the color of pig liver. Only then did he realize what the man was thinking. He pulled out his musket and wanted to feed him a mouthful of buckshot. How could a straight man like him possibly do something so filthy?

"Huh? Ah! All right, all right. Hehe, sorry." The priest looked as if he had been pardoned from a death sentence. At least he had managed to preserve his chastity.

After finally suppressing the urge to blow the man in front of him away, Paul took several deep breaths and gritted his teeth. "Your clothes are torn. I noticed a very interesting tattoo on your body."

Damn it! How does he know about this? the priest thought, alarmed.

"Hehe! Lord Greiman, you must have mistaken what you saw."

"No, no, I definitely didn't. Besides, I've seen this shark-shaped tattoo on every member of the Shark Gang. But speaking of which, 'Father,' the location of your tattoo is truly quite unique."

"This... this..."

"Speak! Who are you really?"

As he questioned him, Paul pointed the dark muzzle of his gun at the middle-aged man who called himself a "priest."

"I really am a priest of the Church!" The middle-aged man once again collapsed onto the floor and begged for mercy. Anyone could tell that the thing in the count's hand was capable of taking a life. Before Paul could question him again, he spilled everything like beans pouring from a broken bamboo tube.

According to his confession, his name was John Morrison. He had originally been the priest of a rural church in a nearby territory, but then the Shark Gang came and raided the place. After looting it thoroughly, they kidnapped him as well. He had thought he was going to be thrown into the sea to feed the fish, but unexpectedly, the pirate leader Shark forcibly made him join the Pirate Crew. Although those pirates killed, burned, and committed every evil under the sun, quite a few of them—including their leader Shark—still had considerable "spiritual needs." They needed a genuine clergyman to preside over their confessions, prayers, and other activities.

Thus, Father John Morrison shamelessly took up the glorious and promising profession of pirate as a side job. They even tattooed the gang's symbol on him—a shark baring its sharp teeth—and he remained with the Pirate Crew for an entire year.

Paul didn't find it strange that pirates believed in religion. Didn't some people on Earth, despite being steeped in sin, also like to burn incense and worship Buddha? Besides, the more sins they committed, the more superstitious they became.

But John Morrison still needed to be interrogated carefully. Paul picked up the thick Holy Book lying beside the cabinet. The man had probably been clutching it the entire time he was hiding in there.

"I'll ask you this: What does page 132 of this book say?"

"'The world suddenly lit up as bright as day, and a solemn voice rang out of thin air...'" Morrison actually began reciting it, and he got the entire page word for word.

Paul had him recite several other passages as well, and Morrison delivered every one of them without a single mistake.

"Not bad. You've got some real skill."

"Hehe! You flatter me, my lord."

"All right. I'll provisionally believe that you're a priest."

Morrison was overjoyed. "Thank you, Lord Greiman. Could you send someone to take me back..."

"Do you want to live or die?"

Paul once again aimed the dark muzzle of his gun at Morrison.

*Damn it! I've only just escaped the wolves' den, and now I've fallen into a tiger's lair!** Father Morrison was on the verge of tears. Are all these lords as vicious as bandits?

"Lord Greiman, threatening a member of the clergy like this..."

"Bang!" With a tremendous boom, Morrison felt something fly past him. His instincts made him turn around, and a gaping hole had appeared in the wall.

The room door was then kicked open, and a large group of soldiers rushed in, raising their weapons and pointing them at Morrison.

The sight was terrifying. Heavenly Father, you must bless Your faithful servant. Morrison hurriedly nodded as hard as he could. "I want to live! Of course I want to live." If the thing in Paul's hand had been aimed just a little farther to the side, his head would probably have been blown open.

"Excellent! In the name of Count Paul Greiman, lord of the Alarda Territory, I conscript you into my army."

"Uh... But Lord Greiman, I can't lift a sword or carry a shoulder pole."

"Oh, you don't want to? Fine. I won't kill you, either. I'll hand you over to the Northwest Bishop. Hehe, a clergyman spent an entire year in a pirate den and even has a pirate tattoo on his body. I wonder how the bishop will judge you."

"It will be my supreme honor to serve you!"

Morrison immediately assumed an expression like a man who had just heard a divine revelation.

"Don't worry. I'll only have you handle a little ideological work and satisfy the soldiers' religious needs. You know, when we march and fight, we can't exactly carry a church around with us. That's where an army priest like you comes in handy."

Morrison did not hesitate. "I obey your orders, Lord Greiman." Judging by what had just happened, this young count was not someone who could be reasoned with.

Paul said, "However, when you're doing your 'ideological work,' there are things you should say and things you shouldn't..."

He suddenly remembered the large group of soldiers who had just rushed into the room and changed tack. "Forget it. I'll teach you gradually. I won't mistreat you if you do a good job, but if you try anything funny, don't expect me to keep your 'little secret.'"

Morrison raised his right hand with a solemn expression. "In this sacred place, I swear to the Father in Heaven that I will enter Lord Greiman's army and serve. From now on, I will be loyal to Paul Greiman without fail. If he tells me to go east, I will never go west; if he tells me to chase dogs, I will never chase chickens."

Still, when this man got serious, he really did look the part.

I'll believe that when I see a ghost! Paul silently cursed him, but he still introduced him to the surrounding soldiers. "This man is a clergyman kidnapped by pirates and imprisoned here. The church he originally served was burned down by the pirates. You all heard what he said just now, right? From now on, he'll be our army priest. Haha, that gunshot just now was Father Morrison and me fooling around."

The crowd replied, "Yes, my lord."

"Holy Calendar 1990, June X. That was the first time I met Saint Paul. At the time, I was imprisoned by pirates in the church at Franklin Harbor. They forced me to serve the Pirate Crew, but I held fast to my loyalty to the Lord of Light. How could I submit to the forces of evil? The pirates tortured and humiliated me in every way. I knew it was a trial from the Lord, and I held on through sheer force of will. Just as I was on the verge of death, Lord Saint Paul led his army to rescue me. When I first saw him, a gentle radiance shone upon his body, and a solemn voice rang out in my mind: 'Follow him. Assist him.' I knew that this was the divine revelation given to me by the Lord of Light. Without the slightest hesitation, I joined his army and helped him establish glorious achievements that, at the time, I would never even have dared to imagine." —Excerpt from the memoirs of John Morrison, the 250th Pope of the Church of Light.

"That was a day of sin, and the specific details have been lost to history. But one thing is certain: from that day on, the traitor Morrison sold his soul to the devil Greiman and became his pawn. Evil began to erode the Church of Light, and amid corruption and depravity, it ultimately became a tool for the devil Greiman to manipulate people's hearts." —Excerpt from a propaganda pamphlet published by an Underground Sect that claimed to represent the orthodox Church of Light.

Thanks to "seed198903" for the recommendation vote.