Homeless

(The song appearing in this chapter: callyourname)

"Sorry, sir, but I don't have any chocolate for you, big fellow." Since he had made no attempt to hide it, Hank had noticed what Gu Yan was doing.

"But you can buy more chocolate." Gu Yan flashed a sly smile. Sure enough, as soon as he said that, the children grew even more excited, leaving Hank to shake his head helplessly.

"All right, kids. We won't settle anything by arguing like this. How about we have a competition?"

"Yes! I want to play badminton!"

"No, soccer is more fun."

"..."

The children chattered as they made their way to an open space and began competing.

"The children are adorable." Gu Yan squatted down and watched them play.

The children didn't care whether disaster would strike again. They simply lived happily in every minute and every moment.

"Yeah..." Hank sighed. Unlike before, his voice was filled with loneliness.

"Why don't you find a job?" Everyone else was struggling to survive. Even the elderly who had no one to rely on were doing their best to find shelter.

"A job?" Hank gave a bitter smile.

"You aren't one of the victims, are you? Why did you come here?" Instead of answering, he asked a question in return.

"Because I care deeply about whether my fellow countrymen live or die. As a... civil servant."

"That must be why your fellow countrymen help each other and tend to one another's wounds." At that, Hank closed his eyes.

"But I... don't have any fellow countrymen left..."

Gu Yan froze.

"I lived in this country, on this land, for a long time. I learned the language here and came to understand its customs."

Hank's voice trembled slightly.

"But I never forgot that this wasn't my country."

As he spoke, he took out a group photograph. It was a family portrait. Hank stood in the middle, with his wife on his left and a little child sitting on his head, tugging at his hair.

All three of them were smiling happily.

"This was taken before I came to Huaguo. Look, this is my son. He was only a year and a half old then."

"My wife's name is Gina. I met her in high school. Isn't she beautiful?" he said to Gu Yan with a show-off's pride. Gu Yan remained silent.

"She was wonderful. She liked listening to me play the guitar. That's how I won her over back then."

"But she didn't know that the guitar I used back then belonged to a friend. I couldn't afford one, so to keep that lie going, I scrimped and saved for several months, working odd jobs until I could buy one."

As he spoke, Hank stroked the guitar on his lap, his eyes filled with memories.

"But I do want to complain about one thing, Gina. The bread you baked was truly awful. Even Bane hated it." He chuckled softly, then turned to Gu Yan.

"Friend, do you mind if I ramble a little longer?"

Gu Yan shook his head and listened quietly.

"I miss home. I always want to find someone to talk to." Hank looked toward the children. "These little ones aren't suitable. They should be happy."

"I've been here for many years. I imagine my son must be about as old as these children now."

"I thought about going back, but it's too far. Home is too far from here."

"Every time I made up my mind to go, I would think about the cost. The round trip would be tens of thousands. That money would be enough to buy my son several hundred nutritious breakfasts. He could grow taller and stronger."

Hank gave a teasing smile. "Maybe it would even be enough for him to buy a guitar and pursue the person he likes in the future?"

"I'd been poor for too long. I wanted to give them the best."

"Bane has been with me all these years, so I suppose I haven't been completely alone." He patted Bane's head, and Bane wagged his tail.

"The house I lived in here collapsed. The appliances and tools inside were all destroyed, but it doesn't matter."

"This isn't my home. I'm glad it isn't, or Gina and my son would have ended up sleeping on the streets with me."

"Although life here began to grow worse, I always believed it would get better. I told myself that, far away in the North Atlantic, my love was waiting for me to come home. None of these hardships mattered."

"But..."

"They're both dead. Gina and my son are both dead."

Hank could no longer hide his emotions. The kind uncle in his forties who had been so gentle with the children was now sobbing uncontrollably before them.

"My country, my home... they're both gone."

Seeing his master break down, Bane kept licking his hand, trying to comfort him.

Gu Yan pressed his lips together, feeling deeply troubled.

"Only now do I understand that home was never far away. An entire continent isn't too far, either. As long as I was willing, I could go back."

"I could see my wife, pick up my son, hear him call me Dad, and play the guitar for them one more time."

"But now I can't see them anymore. I'll never see them again. The thing that was truly far away was never the distance..."

It was the divide between life and death.

He cried for a long time. Gu Yan didn't know how to comfort him, so he secretly activated healing, worried that Hank might hurt himself.

The children began returning as well, laughing and chatting.

Hank wiped away his tears and became the kindhearted guitar uncle once more.

"Kids, before I hand out the chocolate, how about you listen to Uncle play one more song?"

"Yes!"

"I want to hear 'The Lone Brave'!"

"No, I want to hear 'Turning into a Butterfly'!"

But Hank turned his head toward Gu Yan. "Friend, is there anything you want to hear?"

"Anything is fine." Gu Yan shook his head slightly.

"All right, then I'll just sing one at random!"

After clearing his throat, Hank closed his eyes—

"She lost her brother a month ago."

But what he had lost was his wife and son, the most important people in his life.

Hank began to play and sing. Although the children couldn't understand the words, they listened quietly.

"His picture on the wall. And it reminds me."

His voice was low and magnetic, drawing people into its sorrow.

Gu Yan had heard this song before. Coming from Hank, it was filled with memories and unwillingness, struggle, growls, and despair.

"When she brings me coffee, her smile"

When she brought him coffee and smiled at him,

"I wish I could be with her until my last day."

I wish I could stay with her until the very last moment of my life.

The song reached its climax.

"But things changed, suddenly."

Everything had changed far too quickly. Disaster had taken everything from him, and the collapse had ravaged him until he was nearly broken and desperate.

"I lost my dreams in this disaster."

He had lost his dreams in the disaster, along with the will to go on living.

"I'm crying."

"Missing my lover."

"I don't have the power."

All the effort and endurance of so many years had become a joke. He was powerless, able only to weep over photographs from many years ago.

Hank had lost. He had lost everything.

The children had all received their chocolate and were preparing to return home for dinner. Only Gu Yan, Hank, and Bane remained there.

"Thank you, friend." Hank took out a piece of chocolate and placed it in Gu Yan's palm.

"I didn't really do anything." Gu Yan unwrapped the chocolate and put it in his mouth.

It was bitter, and he couldn't taste the sweetness the children had enjoyed.

"No. You kept me company and listened to me play. You deserve it."

"..."

The words of consolation caught in Gu Yan's throat. He suddenly realized that Hank didn't need consolation.

"Perhaps we'll meet again, friend."

Hank stood up and stretched his legs.

Bane ran two circles around him as well, wagging his tail incessantly, signaling something to his master—

Home.

"You idiot."

Hank knew what Bane meant. He laughed and scolded him, then bent down and buried his face in Bane's fur.

"We don't have a home anymore, old friend."