The following night.
Bar.
"Hi~≈~"
Ross pushed the door open and walked in like a lost soul. Looking at the empty bar, he let out the classic Ross's Sigh, the kind that made anyone depressed just hearing it, at Phoebe, who was drinking at the counter. "Where did everyone go?"
"Oh, the bar's already closed. Chris, the bartender, told me to lock up after I finished drinking."
Phoebe explained, then looked at Ross, who obviously had something wrong with him. "What happened? Was last night's surprise not exciting enough?"
"Not exciting enough?"
Ross gave a bitter laugh. "It was too exciting!"
"Then why are you still looking so miserable?"
Phoebe said with a smile.
"Because compared to last night's excitement, my marriage is completely insignificant."
Ross said in grief and indignation.
"Huh?"
Phoebe was a little bewildered.
"Carol is a lesbian."
Ross said gloomily. "Our marriage is over."
"Why?"
Phoebe asked instinctively.
"..."
Ross's mouth twitched. Rolling his eyes dramatically, he said, "Because I'm not!"
"Oh, my God."
Phoebe said apologetically, "I can hardly believe it. Oh, you poor thing."
"I'm an idiot."
Ross walked behind the bar, poured himself a drink, took a sip, and reproached himself. "I should have realized it long ago. What kind of cool wife drags her husband over to look at beautiful women the moment they go out?"
"Could it be that Susan?"
Phoebe asked.
Ross froze, then said furiously, "It must be her! I was wondering why Carol had been going to the gym with her for so long without seeing any results. What exactly had they been working out?!"
"At least that's one silver lining."
Phoebe sighed.
"What?!"
Ross spread his hands and roared in disbelief.
"Actually..."
Phoebe had wanted to explain that certain unspeakable exercises also involved a lot of exertion.