She pursed her lips in a smile as she looked at Shade, her expression still lonely and fragile:
"Shade, why do you want to understand me? You already have so many dazzling witches around you. Some are younger than me, some are stronger than me, some can stay with you longer, and some have more in common with you.
"And me? I'm not worth understanding."
The "her" by his ear smiled gently, and the ashamed Outlander beneath the moonlight understood that the Sivie before him truly was a patchwork of falsehood and reality. Perhaps because she had forgotten the true reality, she could now speak aloud some things buried deep in her heart that she had once refused to admit even to herself.
Sivie Aurora was the second Great Witch Shade had met after Galina. Though they had done many, many intimate things together as their relationship developed, their relationship had fallen behind those of Sylvia, Vanessa, Megan, and the others who had appeared later.
Although what she said was merely a statement of fact, to Shade, it sounded like an accusation against himself.
But the Outlander's confusion over feelings and doubts about himself had vanished last year. Since he had discovered the problem, he was willing to face it head-on:
"Sivie, if the me of the past failed to take the next step with you, then at least now, can you let me get closer to you?"
She neither agreed nor objected, instead bringing up something unrelated:
"Do you know, Shade? I really like you."
The straightforward confession contained emotions intense enough to nearly suffocate the Outlander:
"From the very beginning in Coldwater Port, I watched you move forward step by step. I watched you gather more young ladies and climb toward the highest peak of this world together.