Steve grew even more embarrassed and hurriedly ushered everyone into the hall. Odin asked, "I am Thor's father, All-Father Odin. Where is Thor?"
"All-Father Odin?"
Everyone was shocked at first, then thrilled. With someone this powerful here, they had this in the bag.
Hawkeye pointed at Thor, who was sleeping in a corner. "Your son's over there."
Odin turned and saw a big fatty asleep in a chair. He wore elastic-waist pants and a gray jacket, his hair and beard were a complete mess, and he was snoring with a bottle of liquor in his hand.
Odin's mouth twitched. Pointing at Thor, he asked, "You're telling me that ball is my son?"
Hawkeye nodded, struggling not to laugh. "Yep, that very ball."
"Fuck."
Odin flew into a rage. He had never imagined Thor would end up like this. He blasted him with a bolt of Golden Lightning, sending Thor flying straight through the glass and outside.
Natasha quipped, "Did the glass in our base do something to offend you people?"
Thor jolted awake, scrambled to his feet, and roared, "Who dares ambush the mighty Thor?"
"You call yourself Thor looking like that? More like the god of balls! As in, you're so fat you've turned into one!"
Odin kept blasting Thor with lightning as he berated him. Thor was stunned to see him. "Odin, weren't you dead? Hey, stop zapping me! That hurts!"
"You're the god of thunder, and you can't even take this little bit of lightning?"
Watching Thor "dance" helplessly amid the lightning only made Odin angrier. Golden Lightning struck Thor again and again. Thor raised both hands and desperately tried to fend it off, screaming all the while.
That confirmed it: this really was Odin. These loving bolts of lightning couldn't be faked.
"Father..."
Thor had been