What the Hell Is a Surprise

Chu He's heart skipped a beat when he heard that. He realized he'd just let his guard down, but instead of panicking, he immediately composed himself and put on an expression of pain and indignation at being misunderstood.

"Back down?"

His voice wasn't loud, but it carried the sorrow of someone whose sacred resolve had been sullied.

"Do I look like the kind of coward who'd disregard morality and ethics just to save his own skin?"

"Little brother, you think far too little of me. And your perspective is far too narrow."

"I was thinking that I might die for love."

Chu He's tone suddenly turned solemn. He raised his head to gaze at the two world-shattering masses of energy in the sky, a faint, holy, martyr-like light in his eyes.

"I'm a mere mortal who fell in love with your SSS-Class sister. And your mother is a lofty SSR-Class being."

"Do you think this is a tragedy?"

"No!"

Chu He declared, his voice not loud, but firm and ringing.

"This is the beginning of a legend! A mere mortal, defending his love by daring to challenge the highest of gods, ultimately sacrificing himself as a martyr! How magnificent, how great!"

"My name, Chu He, will go down in history! It'll become the most tragic footnote to the word 'love'!"

Xia Nuo was completely dumbstruck.

He stared at Chu He, at the man who looked ready to give his life for love at any moment. The string in his mind labeled "sister worshipper" was plucked hard.

He imagined the scene.

This man named Chu He, covered in blood, stood beneath their mother's supreme might, his back ramrod straight as he shouted his sister's name before turning to ash...

And his sister, holding his ashes, wept among the stars...

Holy shit!

It was so moving! So damn romantic! This was the kind of ending a man worthy of his sister deserved!

"I... I apologize for what I said earlier!" Xia Nuo's eyes actually reddened. He grabbed Chu He by the shoulders and shook him hard, his voice choking with tears.

"Brother-in-law! I can already picture that tragic scene! I'll be moved to tears because of you!"

He thumped his chest, looking incredibly excited, as if he, too, were a witness to this magnificent epic.

"From today on, you're my real brother-in-law!"

The corner of Chu He's mouth lifted almost imperceptibly. He thought to himself, Got it.

But the next second, Xia Nuo's words made his smile freeze.

"Don't worry, brother-in-law! I'll go back and report this to Mother right now! I'll make sure she knows what an incredible, devoted man my sister found!"

"Go ahead and die without worry. After you're gone, I'll give you the grandest funeral possible! Your tombstone will stand at the entrance to Mother's temple, so everyone can admire your greatness!"

"After you die..."

Xia Nuo grew more and more excited, as though he could already see the funeral that would be remembered for generations.

Chu He's mouth twitched wildly.

That wasn't right!

That wasn't how the script was supposed to go!

I was just making an empty promise! How did you actually get the pot boiling?

How did a conversation somehow turn into a plan to bring his mother out? Was something wrong with his brother-in-law's brain?

"Ahem!" Chu He coughed heavily, casually pried Xia Nuo's hands off him, and forced himself to calm down. Then he struck a profoundly mysterious pose.

"Little brother, I appreciate the thought. But there's no need to rush things."

"Hm?" Xia Nuo looked confused, like an eager student seeking knowledge.

"A legend needs buildup," Chu He explained earnestly. "If you go straight to your death, you're just a reckless fool, not a hero. First, we have to show your mother, your sister, and the entire otherworld what I'm worth and how deeply I love her. Only when the time is right will my fall shine with the most dazzling light. Don't you agree?"

Chu He cursed inwardly. How could his brother-in-law be so single-minded, always insisting on digging deeper into a dead end?

Dealing with an abnormal creature with a brain like this was exhausting.

"Brother-in-law, you've thought this through! I see!"

Xia Nuo nodded over and over, his admiration practically overflowing.

He grabbed Chu He's hand and asked sincerely, "Then... brother-in-law, what should we do now? What's the first step in building things up?"

"Ahem... Simple," Chu He said. "You just got here, so stay a few days."

"And I want you to keep the idea of telling your mother about me and your sister buried deep in your gut. Got it? Do you know what the hell a surprise is?"

Xia Nuo blinked his gray-black eyes and asked blankly, "Whose mother's surprise?"

"No, not whose mother's surprise. What the hell is a surprise?"

"What is her mother's surprise?"

"...It's a surprise for your mother!"

Chu He felt his blood pressure rising and could only patiently explain. "Listen. The essence of a surprise is that it comes out of nowhere.

"If you tell your mother right now, that's called making a report, not a surprise.

"What we need to do is keep building things up until, at some unexpected moment, she suddenly discovers that her daughter has found such a great man—and that this man is going to die for love... Just imagine the impact, the shock! Wouldn't that push this legend straight to its climax?"

Xia Nuo's eyes lit up. He slapped his thigh hard!

"Brilliant!"

"No wonder you managed to win over both my sisters. You really are different!" Xia Nuo rubbed his hands excitedly. "This way, your death will be truly magnificent!"

Damn it!

Why did he keep circling back to that word?

Chu He felt his temples throb. Talking with Xia Nuo was like riding a roller coaster without a seat belt.

If he had a heart attack or a cerebral thrombosis, he'd be freaking dead on the spot.

He took a deep breath and put on a compassionate expression. "Little brother, I'm glad to hear you say that. But could you stop talking about dying all the time?"

"Got it!" Xia Nuo understood at once, his fervor practically taking physical form. "It's a great sacrifice! A great sacrifice for love!"

Chu He: "..."

Forget it. There was no saving this kid. Let's just destroy everything. Hurry up.

Just then, a terrifying boom rang out from high above, louder than any before!

Rumble—!

A black shock wave shot down like a sword, grazing the edge of the sports field and leaving a terrifying, unfathomably deep slash across the distant school building!

The entire ground shook violently.

Chu He and Xia Nuo looked up at the two energy storms in the sky, now fighting like they'd completely lost their minds. Their expressions turned grim.

"Brother-in-law, at this rate, they'll wreck everything here!" Xia Nuo's voice finally took on a hint of urgency. "We have to stop them!"

"I damn well want to!" Chu He yelled, then realized he'd lost his composure and quickly calmed down.

He looked at his brother-in-law, whose combat strength was off the charts but whose brain clearly wasn't working, and a bold plan took shape in his mind.

"Little brother," Chu He said, patting his shoulder with a serious expression. "This is the first step in building our legend."

"What is it?" Xia Nuo perked up at once and stood straight.

Chu He pointed at the sky and said, word by word:

"Go pull your sister down for me."