I found a job, and I'll be starting work in May.
At the beginning, this book really did carry a lot of hopes. I tried a lot of things, but there were even more that I couldn't pull back in.
I thought about it for a long time again today.
I feel like I failed to meet the expectations of quite a few readers, and I'm very sorry for that.
I'm an author who likes trying new things. I'm always trying styles I want to try... but I do also have a tendency to overestimate my own ability.
There are some things you only realize you truly can't write after you've already started writing them.
But by then, I had already written them. The more I wrote, the more it felt like being propped over a fire and roasted. Continuing felt awkward, but not continuing... would be way too unprofessional, wouldn't it?
Actually, after a certain point, I knew I was gradually becoming unable to write it anymore.
Sigh.
Actually, repeating apologies over and over feels awful too. Things have already settled like dust to the ground; what's the point of chewing them over again and again?
It's just that after finishing this book, I can't help feeling a bit lost inside.
Should I keep trying new things, or should I stay in my comfort zone from now on... and only write what I'm good at, what I've written before?
If I try new things, maybe I'll mess it up again and write something that isn't very good.
Next month, I really will be going to work. Though I do plan to keep writing novels as a side job once my work stabilizes, I don't know when I'll be able to pick up the old trade again.
As for