This Child Is So Cute

Several groups were fighting on the official road to Gusu. By the time Li Hao arrived, hundreds of people were already lying on the ground. From the looks of things, though, they were all minor players who didn't matter much.

"Hahaha! Lin Shiyin, your Xingyun Manor is nothing special after all. If you don't surrender soon, I'll have killed every last one of your retainers!" A dwarf less than seventy centimeters tall and weighing only a few dozen pounds roared with laughter.

His meaning was obvious: his target was Lin Shiyin, wife of Long Xiaoyun, the master of Xingyun Manor and once the most beautiful woman in the southern martial world.

"Five Poisons Child, you bastard, get as far away from here as you can! With those stumpy limbs of yours, you wouldn't be able to do a thing even if you kidnapped her. Leave her to me, Yun Zhonghe! Wahahaha..." A lecherous, middle-aged man laughed loudly. He held a weapon made from a steel bird's claw, and his figure wavered erratically.

Inside the carriage surrounded by the two men, Lin Shiyin clutched her son and trembled. Only a dozen or so guards remained beside the carriage.

Lin Shiyin knew the two men shouting outside. They were notorious lechers in the martial world. Every one of them was ugly as sin, misshapen and incomplete, yet they delighted in preying on respectable women.

That would have been bad enough, but both men were twisted in the head. Whenever the bodies of girls they had abducted were found, not one had been left intact.

Though Lin Shiyin's looks had faded somewhat with age and after giving birth to Long Xiaoyun, she was still a dream goddess to martial artists, the woman of their midnight fantasies.

That was precisely why Lin Shiyin, who wasn't much of a fighter, usually stayed inside Xingyun Manor. Long Xiaoyun enjoyed a fine reputation as a hero in the region, and plenty of martial artists had come to pledge themselves to him, so nothing had ever happened.

This time, it was the annual celebration of the Bodhisattva's birthday. Lin Shiyin had brought Long Xiaoyun to burn incense and pray for the health and safety of Long Xiaoyun, Long Xiaoyun, and Li Xunhuan.

But as soon as they set out, the two great lechers of the martial world had set their sights on her.

"Five Poisons Child, Yun Zhonghe, stop dreaming. The experts of Xingyun Manor are already on their way. If you leave now, I can pretend none of this ever happened." Lin Shiyin's voice trembled. If not for Long Xiaoyun being by her side, she might have already taken her own life.

"I don't consider the people of Xingyun Manor a threat." Yun Zhonghe leered. His figure flickered, and several guards surrounding the carriage immediately clutched their throats and fell to the ground.

As for the few who remained, Five Poisons Child sent them flying with a handful of powder.

"Pretty girl, big brother's coming right over. Don't be scared. I may be ugly, but I'll be gentle." Five Poisons Child struck out with his palm from a distance. His powerful inner force shattered the carriage into pieces, and the horses pulling it collapsed, foaming at the mouth.

"Don't come any closer! Take one more step and I'll kill myself!" Lin Shiyin's eyes were full of despair. She held a short sword, its tip aimed at her ample chest.

"Lin Shiyin, if you die, that's the end of it for you. But have you thought about your son?" Yun Zhonghe hurriedly tried to stop her.

He wanted to enjoy her while she was alive, not end up with a cold corpse.

He didn't mind corpses, of course, but they were nowhere near as much fun.

"Xiaoyun, are you afraid to die?" Lin Shiyin asked softly.

"Mother, I'm still little. I don't want to die. Just give in to them!" Long Xiaoyun's childish voice made Lin Shiyin go cold all over.

Her son was actually telling her to give herself to those two lechers so he could stay alive.

"Hahaha! Good boy, don't worry. As long as your mother is enthusiastic and takes the initiative, I guarantee I won't hurt you, son!" Hearing Long Xiaoyun's words, Yun Zhonghe and Five Poisons Child burst into laughter. Yun Zhonghe even called himself Long Xiaoyun's father.

"Hey, where did this ugly bastard come from? His laugh is awful. Being ugly is one thing, but his voice is awful too. At least in the daytime, you can tell what a person looks like. If he came out at night, he'd scare the little kids.

"Little kids are the flowers of our nation's future. If you scare them, you'll be responsible for the consequences. There, little one, don't be afraid. With uncle here, nobody can hurt you." A wisp of green smoke passed, and Li Hao appeared beside Lin Shiyin's carriage.

Seeing Long Xiaoyun's pale, frightened face, Li Hao reached out and patted the boy on the head to comfort him.

But Long Xiaoyun was held tightly in Lin Shiyin's arms, so Li Hao's hand brushed against a few forbidden places.

"This child is so cute," Li Hao praised. Long Xiaoyun looked just like Lin Shiyin, a pretty little boy with red lips and pearly white teeth.

"Thank you for the praise, Great Hero." Lin Shiyin's pretty face flushed. Li Hao was patting Long Xiaoyun's head, but his hand was huge and kept brushing against her... stores of grain.

"This child is so cute, I really want to hug his mother." Li Hao said shamelessly.

"Sir, please show some respect. I'm not that sort of woman." Li Hao's sudden turn of phrase left Lin Shiyin at a loss for words.

So the child was cute, and that meant he wanted to hug the child's mother? What kind of person said something like that?

"Ahem, that's not what I meant. Listen to my excuse—no, no, I mean, explanation." Li Hao startled even himself with what he'd said.

He'd really been blinded by lust. He'd let his thoughts slip out loud without meaning to.

"Uncle, if you can kill those two bandits, I'll let you hug my mother." Long Xiaoyun, still in Lin Shiyin's arms, wriggled free of Li Hao's claws and spoke up.

"Xiaoyun, you..." Lin Shiyin was shocked. She hadn't expected her son to come out with another astonishing line.

"Mother, if uncle doesn't help us, you'll have to go with those hideous bandits. Compared to them, uncle is much better. He's young and handsome, so you won't lose out." Long Xiaoyun spoke earnestly.

"Besides, Xiaoyun really doesn't want to die," he added at the end.

"Mm, I think Xiaoyun's suggestion is a good one." Li Hao was taken aback by Long Xiaoyun's words, but when he thought of Long Xiaoyun in the original story, he understood.

Going by Long Xiaoyun's personality in the original story—precocious, ruthless, lawless—he was exactly the sort of person who could do something like that.

"You there, boy! Who are you? Let go of my wife!" Five Poisons Child couldn't stand watching Li Hao and Long Xiaoyun negotiate.

He and Yun Zhonghe had worked their tails off to kill more than a hundred Xingyun Manor guards, only for Li Hao to show up out of nowhere and start putting his hands on her.

They had actually misunderstood. Li Hao's hand was patting Long Xiaoyun's head. But from where the two of them stood, Li Bai's hand appeared to be on Lin Shiyin's chest.

It was the classic trick of perspective.