Good Stuff, Heh Heh...

Before Bai Yang could find anything useful in the house, his stomach let out a protesting growl. Only then did he realize he hadn't eaten anything since waking up, and he had no idea where the instant noodles had gone.

"It's already three in the afternoon!"

Pulling out his phone to check, Bai Yang winced. No wonder his stomach was screaming.

He knew his own cooking skills were only at the "edible but not tasty" beginner stage, so messing around in the kitchen was out of the question. The best way to deal with hunger, as far as Bai Yang could think, was instant noodles...

"Damn, they're gone. I remember buying a box last month on the tenth," he said, opening the drawer and staring blankly.

Then he started calculating. His mom got off work at five, so she'd probably be home by five-thirty at the earliest. If she cooked dinner, it might not be ready until seven. By then, he'd probably be too weak from hunger to move. As for his dad, he didn't get off until six, and his cooking was even worse than Bai Yang's.

"Alright, looks like I'll have to grab something outside. But my allowance is running low..."

Bai Yang scratched his head in deep distress.

In the midst of this agonizing indecision, a thought suddenly popped into his head. It seemed like there was something good to eat 'next door'!

Tiger meat! He'd lived this long and never tried it...

Once the idea took root, he couldn't shake it off. Feeling restless, he paced around the living room a few times, then gritted his teeth and stomped his foot. Screw it!

He rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a frying pan, tested its weight, nodded, and tied a nylon rope around his back. Then he picked up a stainless steel pot lid and a cleaver his mom used to chop pork ribs. Fully 'armed,' he took a deep breath.

Here goes...

Whoosh. He vanished from his kitchen in an instant.

The reason he strapped the frying pan to his back and grabbed the pot lid was to guard against arrows from the jungle. The cleaver, of course, was for hacking off a piece of tiger meat to eat. He'd thought about dragging the whole tiger over to deal with later, but considering how huge it was, the spacious living room might barely fit it, but it would probably crush a bunch of stuff. Plus, if he turned the house into a bloody mess, his mom would kill him when she got back.

Bai Yang's mom was fierce. She was the Dean of Students at a key university in the city. Scared yet? Unfortunately for him, the university he attended was the very one where she worked. He had to be on his best behavior during school hours. Even though he was her own flesh and blood, at school, she treated everyone the same. But on the flip side, Bai Yang was lucky—with his lazy nature, he probably wouldn't have graduated otherwise. After all, he was her real son...

As for Bai Yang's dad, he ran a furniture factory. Bai Yang had no interest in the specifics, but considering that their three-bedroom, one-hundred-thirty-square-meter apartment in a gated community—bought for over a million—was paid for in full by his dad, the business must be doing pretty well. If it weren't for parents like his, he wouldn't have the chance to laze around at home like a corpse. He'd have to get his ass out there and find a job!

Carefully appearing on 'that side,' he checked his surroundings for any danger. Seeing none, he hurried over to the dead tiger in a few quick steps and examined the beast up close.

Bai Yang had seen tigers in the zoo, but compared to this dead one, those were garbage. In terms of size, they were like little cats.

The saying goes, "A dead tiger still commands awe." Standing three meters away from the corpse, knowing full well it was dead as dead could be, Bai Yang hesitated and still didn't dare go near.

"Come on... you can do this. You're not scared. This dead cat is already gone. Just chop it!"

After psyching himself up, he cautiously stepped forward, looking ready to bolt at any moment, terrified the dead tiger might get up and pounce on him.

Finally, he reached the tiger's side. He gave it a kick with his foot and quickly jumped back. Nothing happened. He relaxed.

"Ha! You were pretty tough, weren't you? Almost made me piss myself earlier. Try being tough now, why don't you?"

Bai Yang was showing off in front of the dead tiger. If it so much as twitched, he'd be gone in a flash. That was just the mindset of an ordinary person. He'd grown up in a modern city without any special training. Did anyone expect him to be some badass who could take on the world? Even so-called special forces would probably kneel before this tiger, let alone a semi-useless urban shut-in like him.

"This thing is huge. If I took it to the market, how much would it sell for? Probably as much as three fat pigs. And the fur—if I could get it off intact, people would be fighting to pay a million for it..."

Bai Yang muttered to himself, but he knew that if he dared to sell this stuff, his parents would probably be bringing him prison food the next day. It wasn't that he lacked an adventurous spirit or youthful boldness. He just had food and clothes, and life was decent enough. Why take the risk? "A wise man doesn't stand beneath a crumbling wall"—that was the way to survive!

"This tiger is probably worth tens of millions to some people. What a waste..."

Gritting his teeth in lament, Bai Yang swung the cleaver. Chop, chop, chop. Panting from exhaustion, he finally managed to cut off one of the tiger's front legs. Damn, it was as big as a cow's leg. And the bone was ridiculously hard—if his cleaver hadn't been decent quality, it would've chipped.

"This one leg alone should last me a few days."

Hefting the tiger leg, it had to weigh at least thirty pounds. How did it even grow that big?

With his prize in hand, just as he was about to head back, he let out a lecherous grin. What part of a tiger was the most valuable? That one thing, of course. Heh heh...

Sure enough, Bai Yang spent another ten minutes working hard, finally extracting that one thing from the tiger's belly. It was a good two feet long and as thick as a child's arm...

"Good stuff. Soak it in liquor and drink it... that would be something," he thought, glancing down at a certain part of himself. He didn't dare think too much. He was still young, full of vigor. He didn't need it... but who would complain about being even more impressive, right?

"Time to go back. Cook the meat..."

Back home, he went to the kitchen and started processing the tiger leg with various knives. He skinned it, chopped off the claws, and tossed the obvious identifying parts back 'over there.' Nature would take care of the evidence.

As for the rest, he worked hard again, using the cleaver to chop it into pieces and put them in the fridge for later. He kept a three-pound chunk of meat and a section of tiger bone, rinsed them clean, and threw them into a pot.

"Uh... how do you stew tiger meat?"

He had no idea, but he didn't dwell on it. When in doubt, ask Baidu. There was always an answer. After a quick search, the simplest method was plain stewing. Perfect. Easy. He added half a pot of water, threw in some ginger, garlic, and salt. After a moment's thought, he tossed in a few dried chilies, put the lid on, and lit the fire. He brought it to a boil, skimmed off the foam, then turned it down to a simmer...

"Tiger meat, man. Oh my god, I'm in for a treat," Bai Yang thought, staring at the steaming pot. He almost drooled. Even though he knew the taste probably wouldn't be great, he couldn't help sniffing the air.

It needed to simmer for an hour. After ten minutes, he was already impatient. Then he spotted the tiger penis on the counter. He slapped his forehead. Right, he'd forgotten about that.

"Tiger penis liquor, tiger penis liquor. How do you make it?"

He searched online. The simplest method was to just toss it into high-proof liquor, seal it, and let it steep for a while. There were better ways to bring out its value, but Bai Yang, too lazy to bother, decisively abandoned those.

He opened his wallet, winced in pain, and pulled out three hundred-yuan bills. He went out, walked half a street, and finally found a place selling bulk liquor. After some haggling, he spent two hundred and fifty yuan and walked away with a twenty-pound jar of fifty-two-proof liquor, jar and all.

Back home, he washed the tiger penis, dropped it into the jar, wrapped the top in dozens of layers of plastic wrap, tied it up with rope to seal it, and shoved it under his bed. Done...!

"I wonder if drinking this after it's steeped will trigger a second growth spurt."

After all that busywork, he remembered the stuff simmering in the kitchen. He slapped his forehead and went back.

He sniffed the air, closed his eyes, and murmured to himself, "This smell... it's so unique. I only added a bit of ginger, garlic, and salt, but it's clearly meat. Why is there a faint, sweet fragrance? It's so pleasant."

The aroma was too special. Bai Yang couldn't resist tasting it. Seeing that the time was about right, he turned off the heat, grabbed a big bowl, ladled himself a generous portion of soup, and fished out a few pieces of milky-white meat. He left the rest in the pot for his parents. Even if they were unreliable, as a son, he had to repay their nurturing kindness.

Carrying the big bowl of tiger meat soup to the living room, he let it cool for a bit. When the temperature was right, he took a spoonful, closed his eyes, and savored it.

"I really don't have the makings of a foodie—this stuff doesn't taste much different from chicken soup."

Shaking his head, he slurped down the entire bowl of soup in a few gulps, wolfed down the tiger meat, and patted his belly. Full and satisfied, he felt great...

"How did I manage to get over there? What's the principle behind it? I'm not wearing the ancestral jade pendant, I didn't get electrocuted, I didn't have a fever or get hit by a car, and no electronic voice suddenly popped into my head. So how can I just freely go back and forth? And what is that place? Judging by the sun and that tiger, it's definitely not Earth. The sun on Earth isn't that big or that color, and there aren't tigers that huge on Earth either. Who shot that tiger? I need to figure out a way to get something useful, go over there and clear up what's going on. The place I went to was a massive forest, full of poisonous insects and fierce beasts. What do I need to prepare to keep myself safe... This damn weather, it's already afternoon, why is it still so hot..."

Full and content, Bai Yang slumped into the sofa in the classic Ge You pose, staring at the ceiling as his mind wandered aimlessly. After a jumble of random thoughts, he wiped his forehead—his hand came away slick with sweat.

"Ah, wait—why is it getting hotter? Damn, my nose is bleeding..." Two streams of heat trickled from Bai Yang's nostrils, unstoppable. His whole body felt scorching, restless and uneasy...

(Please collect and recommend—every bit of your support is the motivation for Stone to keep writing.)