A Conversation

Of the many things in life that didn't go as planned, only one or two out of ten could be shared with others.

At work, there were endless little annoyances; physically, the occasional minor illness; and in relationships, one bump after another... Trouble often followed like a shadow. Press down one gourd, and another would pop up...

Facing the two teachers' gazes, Su Yuan couldn't help feeling uneasy.

Instructor Tan was a woman in her thirties, dignified and gracious. Since she was Su Yuan's own homeroom teacher, Su Yuan wasn't as nervous around her as she was around Teacher Wang. But embarrassing herself in front of someone she knew was even more mortifying.

"Su Yuan..." Instructor Tan looked at one of her students, her feelings complicated and difficult to put into words. She and Teacher Wang got along well. When she received a message that something involving one of her students had come up, she hadn't learned it was about Su Yuan until she arrived.

And what had happened? A woman's bra had been found in her wardrobe!

What kind of situation was this?

Su Yuan was usually a fairly well-behaved student, and she was good-looking, too. Instructor Tan had always had a good impression of her, so her first thought was that there might have been some misunderstanding. Before coming, she'd wondered which student had gotten into trouble; she hadn't considered Su Yuan at all. Only after Teacher Wang told her there had been no mistake—that a woman's bra really had been found in Su Yuan's wardrobe—had Instructor Tan been forced to take the matter seriously.

She'd heard that there was an underwear thief in the girls' dormitory, but Instructor Tan didn't believe Su Yuan could be the thief. After discussing it, she was relieved to learn that Teacher Wang didn't think so either. Otherwise, things would have been even more complicated.

But the woman's bra had been found in Su Yuan's wardrobe. That was an undeniable fact.

Could Su Yuan have some kind of psychological problem?

Instructor Tan and Teacher Wang had arrived at the same thought.

Now, looking at Su Yuan's increasingly delicate features, Instructor Tan felt that the theory might well be true. People said a boy had a girl's looks when he looked like a girl, but usually that only meant he looked somewhat feminine. Su Yuan, on the other hand, was prettier than most girls. There was precious little evidence to suggest she was a boy.

Besides, a rumor had recently been going around that a few teachers had jokingly discussed the gender of a student in their class. That student was Su Yuan.

Didn't that make the theory seem even more likely?

At first, Su Yuan had thought that since Teacher Wang had called her homeroom teacher over, she was in for a severe scolding, maybe even a disciplinary record. But things developed in a way she hadn't expected. Teacher Wang and Instructor Tan earnestly counseled her, without the slightest hint of reproach.

As she listened, she gradually understood. The two teachers thought her psychological gender didn't match her biological sex!

Su Yuan's face turned bright red. This was a huge misunderstanding! No—when she thought of the fact that she had transformed, she suddenly felt conflicted. But conflicted or not, this might be a very good opportunity. She couldn't keep hiding it forever. If something happened, she would need someone at school to look out for her.

Would it be better for her if she told them that she was actually a girl?

That had to be better than leaving them with the impression that her gender identity was confused. Her thoughts raced as she weighed the pros and cons. Su Yuan felt there was a real chance she could pull this off, and in this situation, it seemed she had no other choice. A sudden urge to come clean rose within her.

"Wait, Teacher Wang, Instructor Tan!" She raised her hand, interrupting their earnest advice.

Seeing Teacher Wang and Instructor Tan look at her in surprise, she thought that no other student would dare interrupt a teacher so boldly. After gathering her thoughts, she said, "There's something I've never told you..."

"...Actually, I'm a girl..."

"..."

Teacher Wang and Instructor Tan looked at each other. This "boy" before them clearly had a deep psychological trauma. That was it—her "condition" was quite severe. She could no longer tell fantasy from reality.

"Su Yuan, your teachers know that you want to be a girl, but you are a boy, after all..."

No, no, this wasn't how the script was supposed to go!

Seeing that the two teachers were about to continue their diligent counseling, she realized she had to cut to the chase. Otherwise, they would only think her "condition" was getting worse.

"Wait! I'm telling the truth!" she cried. She turned and shut the office door, then came back and said, "Teacher Wang, Instructor Tan, please listen to me..."

Su Yuan's eyes darted about as she began making up a story.

In her story, she'd been born a girl, but had suffered from "female pseudo-hermaphroditism" and had been raised as a boy from childhood. Later, for various reasons, her family had learned about her condition. Although her sex had been corrected, she hadn't been able to adjust psychologically all at once, and she still had strong masculine traits.

The story was so "convincing" that, as she told it, even Su Yuan started to believe it. The two teachers had been skeptical at first, but soon stared at her in surprise. "You mean... you're actually a girl, but the correction came rather late, so psychologically you're not entirely a girl?"

Su Yuan nodded "painfully." "Yes. My family didn't discover my condition until I was in junior high. My body was corrected, but it was very difficult for my mind to become completely normal."

Instructor Tan nodded as if she understood. Looking again at Su Yuan's face—her delicate nose and small mouth, her long brows and large eyes, her soft ears and cheeks—she really did look like a girl.

She exchanged a glance with Teacher Wang. They had clearly believed Su Yuan's explanation. Still, in the interest of being thorough, they asked, "Do you have anything to prove what you're saying?"

"Yes! I have my medical records..." Su Yuan thought of the "examination report" from last time and answered without hesitation.

Teacher Wang looked at her. "Su Yuan, go back for now. Instructor Tan and I understand what's going on. Oh, and bring us your medical records to look at later."

Thinking she'd made it through the ordeal, Su Yuan felt a little relieved. When she reached the door, she added, "Teacher Wang, Instructor Tan, could you keep this secret for me? Please don't tell anyone else."

"Go on back. We'll keep it in mind."

Su Yuan said, "Oh," opened the door, and left.

After Su Yuan left, Teacher Wang sighed. She really hadn't expected things to turn out this way. "Instructor Tan, what do you think we should do?"

"We'll have to change our approach. We thought she was a boy with a female psychological identity, but it turns out to be the exact opposite—a girl with a male psychological identity! In that case, that lace bra must have been hers."

Teacher Wang nodded. "I noticed just now that her chest was indeed a little raised. She is a girl. But she just asked us not to tell anyone else. This..."

Instructor Tan shook her head. "Since Su Yuan doesn't want too many people to know, we should respect her choice and keep an eye on things for now."

"But she has a girl's body, after all. Could living in the boys' dormitory put her in danger? And if this gets out..."

"Yes, she definitely can't go on like this."

Teacher Wang and Instructor Tan discussed it and agreed that it was very important for Su Yuan to regain her "gender identity" as soon as possible. A teacher's duty was to impart knowledge, teach skills, and dispel doubts—and students also needed proper guidance in their psychological lives. Suddenly, Teacher Wang seemed to think of something. "Would dating someone help her condition?"

Instructor Tan didn't catch on at first. "You mean having her date a boy?"

Teacher Wang nodded. "What about one of the boys in her dorm?"

Instructor Tan told her about Ji Yehao, Gao Jun, and Yang Xiaowei. "I heard Yang Xiaowei often stays off campus, and he already has a girlfriend. That leaves only Ji Yehao and Gao Jun in Su Yuan's dorm."

Teacher Wang said suggestively, "Don't you think Ji Yehao is rather good-looking? Since Su Yuan has no plans to move out, if the two of them..."

Instructor Tan stared at her in surprise. "You want the two of them to...?"

"Yeah."

"No. Ji Yehao may not be a bad kid, but as teachers, how could we make such a ridiculous decision?"

The school didn't forbid university students from dating. In fact, teachers and students often joked about it, and most were happy to see couples get together. Given Su Yuan's unusual circumstances, a relationship might be of great help to her if it worked out. But reason told Instructor Tan not to rush into trying it.

Seeing Instructor Tan oppose the idea, Teacher Wang let it go. "If you think it's a bad idea, then never mind. But I do think you should talk to Ji Yehao and Gao Jun. Hint at it discreetly, at least. We can't let them bully Su Yuan."

Instructor Tan nodded. "All right. I'll talk to them."