She tightened her grip on Zhu Qing's hand and pressed that slightly cool hand against her cheek. Warm tears silently slid down, dripping onto their clasped hands.
"Zhu Qing..."
Her voice was choked with sobs, filled with deep grievance and helplessness.
"Elder Sister never thought of hurting you. I really didn't..."
"That day, when you secretly left Star Luo, I was frantic after I found out. I was afraid something would happen to you on the road by yourself."
"I clearly told them to follow you secretly and escort you safely to Suotuo City in the Heaven Dou Empire, protecting you while you settled down..."
Her voice trembled violently, as if she were defending herself to her unconscious sister, or trying to convince herself.
"I don't know why things turned out this way, or why they attacked you... Elder Sister really doesn't know..."
She bent down and gently rested her forehead against the back of Zhu Qing's hand. Tears soaked the fabric there.
"Will you believe Elder Sister just once? Please? How could Elder Sister possibly harm you..."
"When we were little, you'd cry whenever you took a fall. I felt so sorry for you that I secretly beat up the boy who pushed you. Don't you remember?"
"You said that when we grew up, you'd roam the world with Elder Sister. Have you forgotten..."
"Dai Weisi had always been using you to threaten me. I could only keep distancing myself from you, making him think I didn't care about you at all!"
"Zhu Qing! I'm sorry. Elder Sister didn't know you were suffering so much. Elder Sister is sorry!"
She held Zhu Qing's hand just like that, whispering her words again and again.
As if she wanted to tell her sister all the words she had kept bottled up