The atmosphere in Zhao Gongming's cave abode instantly grew tense.
A philosophical air seemed to drift through the place.
Maitreya stared at the rattle drum in Pharmacist Daoist's hands, then at the excitement on his Senior Disciple Brother's face.
His sense of impending doom peaked.
Maitreya usually wore a smile, but he couldn't manage one now.
Without hesitation, he used the Divine Feet Escape Technique to flee.
Meanwhile, Zhao Gongming sat cross-legged on his meditation cushion, eyes fixed on Maitreya, a sly smile on his face.
"You think you can get away on my turf?"
"Junior Brother, just accept it peacefully!"
"Trying to run?"
Zhao Gongming lightly flicked a finger.
Countless mysterious formation runes suddenly lit up throughout the cave abode.
At the same time, he brought out the Supreme Grade Innate Spirit Treasure, the Thirty-Six Sea-Calming Divine Pearls, and locked down the space.
Maitreya, who had already escaped into the void, was bounced right back out.
Still smiling, Zhao Gongming watched Maitreya and drawled, "Junior Brother Maitreya, stop struggling for nothing. You run, he chases, and you won't get away even if you grow wings."
"In my cave abode, you could shout yourself hoarse, and nobody would come to help you!"
Cornered, Maitreya watched Pharmacist Daoist steadily approach.
His composure completely crumbled, and he reflexively shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Help!!!"
"Help!!!"
Dizang, standing nearby: "..."
Zhao Gongming: "..."
Well, I'll be. He actually shouted?
Did all the disciples of the Western Teachings have such peculiar thought processes?
"Junior Brother, don't shout. Your Senior Brother will be very gentle."
Pharmacist Daoist gave a sinister grin and stopped hesitating.
He activated the Wisdom-Reducing Rattle Drum in his hands.
A cloud of pink smoke enveloped Pharmacist Daoist.
Soon, the solemn and dignified Pharmacist Daoist was nowhere to be seen.
He wore a pink apron edged with lace.
A baby bottle in one hand and a rattle drum in the other, he looked every bit the devoted househusband.
The sudden change made Dizang's eyes fly wide as he sucked in a sharp breath.
"Well, I'll be damned! Is that really my Senior Disciple Brother?"
"Why does it take so much courage to use the treasures Senior Brother Zhao makes?"
Dizang hadn't even finished processing the shock.
Then he saw Pharmacist Daoist smiling benevolently, shaking the rattle drum in rhythm, and opening his mouth.
A gentle, high-pitched voice burst from Pharmacist Daoist's lips.
"Big-Head Son and Little-Head Dad"
"A pair of good friends, a happy father and son"
Dong, dong, dong!
Dong, dong, dong!
With the rattle drum's hypnotic rhythm, an invisible law of lowered intelligence descended upon Maitreya.
The terrified, struggling expression on Maitreya's face froze instantly.
Then his eyes began to glaze over.
His once-bright pupils gradually drifted inward.
They crossed into a perfect pair of cross-eyes.
His mouth fell slightly open, and a glistening thread of drool slid from the corner, stretching into a long strand.
The aura of a Golden Immortal Great Expert vanished from him entirely.
In its place was an air of wisdom.
As if... Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants had possessed him.
"The son's head is big, his hands are small"
"Dad's head is small, his hands are big"
Pharmacist Daoist sang with abandon, even swaying his hips twice.
Maitreya had already completely succumbed.
Sitting cross-legged on the ground, he clapped his hands like a seal.
His head bobbed to the rattle drum's rhythm, and he let out a foolish laugh.
"Hee-hee-hee..."
"Hee-hee-hee, ah-ba-ba..."
"Milk, I want milk, time for num-nums..."
Dizang's jaw nearly hit the floor.
"H-he's already an idiot?"
"The treasures Senior Brother Zhao makes are terrifying!"
"Even a Golden Immortal Dao Fruit can't protect his mind?"
Zhao Gongming stood to one side with his hands behind his back, like an old physician.
He looked Maitreya up and down, clicked his tongue in wonder, and gave his professional assessment.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Look at those eyes, look at that drool."
"Even if you cure this, he'll probably still drool afterward."
Pharmacist Daoist shook the drum while sneaking a glance at Maitreya, and he was astonished too.
"What a treasure! What a treasure!"
"He may look a little foolish, but I can sense it."
"Junior Brother Maitreya's soul is unusually clear right now?"
Under the aura of lowered intelligence,
all the schemes, karmic entanglements, and worries in Maitreya's mind disappeared, leaving his head utterly blank.
His soul had actually become as pure as a child's.
"It even has a hidden soul-purifying buff?"
Zhao Gongming nodded slightly.
"So the saying 'fools are blessed' isn't just empty talk."
Just then, Zhao Gongming suddenly remembered something.
He flipped his hand, and a Recording Stone appeared in his palm.
A scene this legendary would be a terrible thing to leave undocumented!
But the moment he brought out the Recording Stone,
he was surprised to see Dizang do the exact same thing beside him!
Dizang was holding a Recording Stone too.
He was enthusiastically filming the drooling Maitreya and the apron-wearing Pharmacist Daoist from an extremely artful angle.
The two exchanged a knowing smile. Some things were better left unsaid.
Zhao Gongming even sent him a telepathic message.
"Junior Brother Dizang, you really know what's what."
Dizang gave an awkward smile and spouted nonsense with a straight face.
"Ahem, you flatter me, Senior Brother Zhao. I'm merely recording the little details of my cultivation."
When Pharmacist Daoist finished the song, he stopped shaking the drum, still not quite satisfied.
Then the law of lowered intelligence faded, and Maitreya's eyes slowly uncrossed.
At the same time, he reflexively sucked the drool back into his mouth.
"Uh..."
Maitreya shook his head, his eyes full of confusion.
"What happened?"
"I think I just had a very, very long dream. There was a big-headed son in it..."
He looked at Pharmacist Daoist, who had taken off his apron and returned to normal.
Then he glanced at Zhao Gongming and Dizang, both of whom were struggling to suppress their laughter.
A sudden sense of foreboding welled up inside him.
"Senior Brother, I didn't do anything weird just now, did I?"
Zhao Gongming and Dizang exchanged a look and chuckled.
"Nothing major."
Zhao Gongming waved his hand, and a screen of light appeared out of thin air.
In the scene, Maitreya's eyes were crossed and drool ran down his chin.
He clapped and giggled like a fool.
"Hee-hee-hee... Milk... Ah-ba-ba..."
He looked purer than the village idiot next door.
"!!!"
Maitreya watched himself on the screen. His whole body turned to stone, then cracked, then crumbled.
It felt like waking up after a blackout from drinking too much,
only to have a friend shove a video of you dancing naked on a table right in your face.
Social Death!
The ultimate Social Death!
"Th-that's me?!"
"No, that's not me! It's an illusion! A heart demon!"
Maitreya clutched his head and let out a despairing wail.
Thump!
Maitreya's knees buckled, and he dropped to his knees before the three of them.
"Senior Brother, Senior Brother Zhao, Junior Brother Dizang!"
"I'm begging you!"
"Delete it! Please, delete it!"
"If this gets out, how am I supposed to show my face in the Western Teachings again?"
"How am I supposed to keep smiling? I'll cry myself to death!"
Seeing Maitreya bawling his eyes out, the cave abode erupted in cheerful laughter.
Even the usually serious Pharmacist Daoist couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching upward. He felt secretly delighted.
"That'll teach you to laugh at me for spitting blood!"
"Now we've all suffered Social Death. That's only fair!"
Before you continue