Each Calls Their Own, the Marriage Contract, The Fun Is Big

"Yanzi..."

Zhao Linchuan staggered over to her, grabbed her wrist, and looked at her through bleary drunken eyes as he tried to sort out the tangled relationship. "Yanzi, you... you don't need to feel embarrassed either!"

"Like this!"

"From now on... you call me Grandpa! I'll call you Yanzi! The two of us... the two of us can each call our own!"

"What do you think?"

He seemed to find this idea brilliant. Then he turned to Dugu Bo, threw an arm around his shoulders, and asked:

"Oh, right, Big Brother! If... if your little brother here does something big in the future, will you... will you help me?"

"Something... something big?" Dugu Bo swayed, his tongue twisting as he spoke. "What... what big thing could there be! How about this! You... you first marry your granddaughter... no, marry Yanzi first!"

"As long as you marry Yanzi! Even if you tell me to chop off my head right now and let you kick it like a ball, this old man... I won't even blink!"

"R-really?" Zhao Linchuan swayed even harder, pointing at Dugu Bo's neck. "You... you chop first! Once you chop it off... I... I'll marry her!"

"Fine! A... a deal! You... you're not allowed to go back on your word... This old man... I'll go find a knife right now..."

"Ah—!!!!!"

Watching the two drunkards seriously discuss the absurd farce of "chopping off a head to marry a granddaughter," Dugu Yan finally broke down completely!

She clutched her head tightly in both hands and let out a frenzied scream loud enough to blow off the roof!

"Clang!" The carefully prepared dishes in her hands, tray and all, crashed to the floor. The exquisite porcelain plates shattered instantly, and soup splashed everywhere.

"Dad!!! Mom!!!! Come quickly!!!! Grandpa's gone crazy!!!!"

"Linchuan has gone crazy too!!!!!"

Yan Cailing and Dugu Yuan rushed over at the sound. Seeing the wreckage throughout the Banquet Hall, as well as Zhao Linchuan and Dugu Bo with their arms around each other's shoulders, already calling each other brothers, both of them stared in stunned disbelief.

Yan Cailing's eyes darted quickly. Looking at the absurd yet once-in-a-lifetime "opportunity" before her, a brilliant idea instantly sprang to mind.

"Husband," she said, tugging at the still-dazed Dugu Yuan with great urgency. "Go write up a Marriage Contract! Quickly!"

Dugu Yuan froze, unable to process it. "Write a Marriage Contract? Why write a Marriage Contract at a time like this? For whom?"

"Oh, don't ask! Just go! You'll understand in a moment! This chance can't be missed!" Yan Cailing stomped anxiously, half shoving and half dragging her utterly confused husband out of the Banquet Hall.

After sending Dugu Yuan away, Yan Cailing immediately leaned close to her daughter Dugu Yan, whose mind had likewise crashed from the scene before her, and whispered several quick words into her ear.

After hearing them, Dugu Yan first froze. Then her pretty face flushed scarlet with a swish, and she said in a low voice, "Mom... this... isn't this a bad idea?"

"Taking advantage of him while he's drunk... what if... what if he wakes up tomorrow and refuses to admit it?"

Though worry filled her words, the gleam in her eyes and the faint upward curve of her lips betrayed her anticipation and secret delight.

Seeing her daughter's insincere act, Yan Cailing wore a sly smile that said everything was under control. She patted Dugu Yan's hand and whispered mysteriously:

"Don't worry! Silly girl, things have already come this far. The rice is practically about to go into the pot! Even if he wants to deny it tomorrow, the 'reader' gentlemen will be the first ones to refuse! This Marriage Contract is ironclad evidence!"

Just then, Dugu Yuan ran back carrying a hastily written Marriage Contract, its ink not yet fully dry.

Yan Cailing snatched it from him, checked the information, then piled a "respectful" smile onto her face and walked over to Zhao Linchuan, who was still calling Dugu Bo his brother.

She cleared her throat and spoke in a tone as though coaxing a child. "Ahem, um... Uncle Linchuan!"

Even the word "Uncle" made the corner of her own mouth twitch. "Look, you and Father became sworn brothers today. That is a joyous occasion of the highest order!"

"But for something as important as sworn brotherhood, mere words are not enough. There must be a written contract, with heaven and earth as witnesses, for it to count. Right?"

"A contract... document?" Zhao Linchuan's drunken eyes were unfocused, and his mind had long since become mush. He only felt that his "nephew's wife" seemed to make sense, so he waved a hand grandly and declared:

"Right! A document! Nephew's wife... is... is right! Hurry... hurry and get Uncle... the best document possible!"

"We... we can't slight my big brother!"

"Don't worry, Uncle. Your niece-in-law prepared one for you long ago!"

Yan Cailing rejoiced wildly inside, though she struggled to maintain her respectful expression. She quickly spread the freshly produced Marriage Contract across the table, prepared a brush and red ink paste, and handed them to Zhao Linchuan.

"Uncle, look, the document is here. Sign your great name here, then press your fingerprint, and the ceremony will be complete!"

Zhao Linchuan was now so drunk that every word he saw had a double image. How could he tell whether this was a Marriage Contract or a sworn brotherhood document?

He only vaguely saw the places where he needed to sign and leave a fingerprint.

At the words "the ceremony will be complete," he did not hesitate. Taking the brush, he crookedly but forcefully wrote the three characters "Zhao Linchuan." Then he dipped his thumb into the red paste and, with a smack, firmly pressed it beside his name!

"Done—!!!" Yan Cailing was so excited she nearly jumped up.

Just then, Dugu Bo, who had been left out at the side, became unhappy. He drunkenly squeezed over and shouted:

"Hurry! Second Brother! Is the document done? Is... is it Big Brother's turn? I want to sign too! I want to leave my fingerprint too!"

"Hm????!!!"

Dugu Bo's words struck like thunder from clear skies, terrifying Yan Cailing, Dugu Yuan, and Dugu Yan out of their wits!

If this old man also signed and pressed his fingerprint on the Marriage Contract, what would that make it?!

Then the fun really would be big!

Dugu Yuan reacted the fastest. He lunged forward and tightly grabbed his father, who was still trying to squeeze closer, shouting urgently:

"Father! Father! You mustn't! You don't need to sign that thing!"

"Let Yanzi! Let Yanzi sign in your place! It's the same! It's the same!"

"Nonsense!" Dugu Bo drunkenly flung his arm, displaying astonishing strength as he insisted:

"The sworn brotherhood is... is between me and Second Brother! How... how can Yanzi stand in for me?! No! I must sign it myself!"

"To show... to show sincerity!"

As he spoke, he struggled to reach for the Marriage Contract in front of Zhao Linchuan.

Seeing that Dugu Bo was about to touch the Marriage Contract, Yan Cailing panicked. She could no longer care about seniority or propriety. Gritting her teeth, she raised her hand and struck Dugu Bo's Right Cheek with all her strength!

Slap!

The crisp sound rang out. The blow was so strong that Yan Cailing's own palm went numb in waves.