Uchiha Jiang Feng

"Kakashi, do you know where Jiang Feng is?"

The girl, Kurenai Yuhi, stepped in front of Kakashi. Her long, slightly tousled hair fell loosely around her shoulders, and her delicate cheeks were faintly flushed.

Kakashi remained expressionless. "Aren't you Jiang Feng's teammate? If even you don't know where he is, how would I?"

"But everyone in Konoha knows you're Jiang Feng's best friend."

Kurenai paused, then added, "If there's anyone else who knows where Jiang Feng is, it has to be you."

Did everyone in Konoha really know he was Uchiha Jiang Feng's best friend?

That claim depended on one necessary premise: everyone in Konoha had to know who Uchiha Jiang Feng was.

Kakashi didn't think he was Uchiha Jiang Feng's best friend, because nobody knew how many friends Uchiha Jiang Feng had. Just as nobody knew how many female teachers Child Emperor Yūki Yuzuru had slept with.

But it wouldn't be wrong to say that Uchiha Jiang Feng was one of Kakashi's best friends.

Kakashi thought it over, then sighed. "I do know where he is, but I don't think he wants to see you right now. At least, not before sunset."

"Why?" Kurenai's long eyelashes fluttered, and her crimson eyes glimmered.

She was Jiang Feng's teammate and his almost-girlfriend. Kurenai couldn't think of any reason Jiang Feng wouldn't want to see her.

"He once said that if there was anything more annoying than being forbidden to drink before turning twenty, it was having a nagging woman show up while he was slacking off."

"Slacking off?"

"Slacking off."

"Oh~"

"I think I know where he is now. Thanks, Kakashi."

Kurenai nodded as understanding dawned, thanked him, then turned and left.

Kakashi sighed faintly and hurried after Kurenai.

If he told Kurenai where Jiang Feng was, Jiang Feng would surely give him trouble later. So why not follow them and watch Uchiha Jiang Feng get hassled by Kurenai?

The Naka River flowed from east to west, cutting across Konoha. The scenery along both banks was beautiful, with lush mountains and clear waters, but few people ever visited its lower reaches.

That was because the lower reaches were the Uchiha Clan's ancestral homeland.

Kurenai and Kakashi hurried along until they reached the "secret place" downstream on the Naka River. It lay on the north bank, surrounded by woods and hills on three sides, with the quietly flowing river on the fourth.

Uchiha Jiang Feng lay in a broad, comfortable Grand Tutor's Chair, an open book covering his face as he basked in the warm afternoon sun.

A long sword and several large bottles of cola sat to the left of the chair. To the right stood an IV pole, with a cola bottle hanging upside down from its top. A soft tube was inserted into the bottle's mouth, its other end disappearing beneath the open book.

Kakashi was sure the other end of the tube was between Uchiha Jiang Feng's teeth.

"Kakashi, you've brought me a huge headache!"

Uchiha Jiang Feng didn't move an inch. Even though Kakashi and Kurenai had made their steps as light as possible, he'd identified them from the faint currents in the air around him.

"Kurenai figured out you'd be here on her own. I had nothing to do with it."

"You can actually say something like that without your conscience hurting? Besides you, only my not-actually-my-little-brother little brother, Shisui, knew I'd be here today.

It couldn't have been Shisui who sold me out."

Kakashi was at a loss for words, so he changed the subject and looked at the empty cola bottle hanging from the IV pole. "How long ago did you finish that bottle?"

"About two hours."

"Why don't you replace it with a new one? You've got several bottles right next to you. You must've prepared them in advance."

"Because I can't be bothered to move right now."

Uchiha Jiang Feng remained perfectly still. "This chair is soft and comfortable, the sunlight is just right, and the air is intoxicating, with the scent of flowers mingling with the smell of grass after the rain.

"Everything together is just perfect. I don't want to move another muscle before the sun sets."

What a lazy mutt!

Kakashi was almost laughing with frustration, though he also felt a little envious. The Ninja World was in turmoil, and Konoha was gripped by fear, yet Uchiha Jiang Feng could still be as lazy, optimistic, and content with life as ever.

What made it even more exasperating was that Kakashi still couldn't beat him. He never had.

A few years ago, Uchiha Jiang Feng had appeared out of nowhere, hailed as the foremost of the Uchiha Clan's younger generation. From that moment on, Kakashi had resolved to surpass him one day.

Though Jiang Feng was a full four years older, Kakashi had still been confident. Uchiha Jiang Feng was far too lazy—he barely seemed like a ninja at all, more like some young noble from the capital.

But after a few years, the gap between them hadn't narrowed. If anything, it seemed to have widened.

Kurenai hurried over, removed the empty cola bottle from the IV pole, and replaced it with a full one. Uchiha Jiang Feng took a couple of satisfied sips and thanked her.

Kakashi glanced at Kurenai, then sneered. "You said you didn't want to get up from that chair before sunset?"

"Absolutely not."

"But I'm going to make you get up anyway."

"You can't. Even if you attack me, you won't be able to make me get up before sunset," Uchiha Jiang Feng said confidently.

He had a hundred ways to knock Kakashi out without leaving his chair, even though Kakashi was already at Jonin level.

"Whether I can do it is another matter. But I know someone who definitely can."

"Who?"

"Your other friend, and your teammate—Asuma."

Kakashi sneered again. "You once said that young men never tire of humiliating another man in front of a girl they like.

"It makes them think they're impressive, and that the girl will think so too. They even imagine she might fall for them because of it."

Uchiha Jiang Feng said nothing.

Kurenai's expression changed as she realized what was happening.

Kakashi continued, "Today's the day Asuma takes the Chunin Ninja Exams. If he passes, he'll come challenge you at the first opportunity—preferably in front of Kurenai.

"By my estimate, the Chunin Ninja Exams ended about half an hour ago when Kurenai came to find me. Now that we're here, Asuma must be on his way too."

"Are you really so sure Asuma can make me get up?"

"Because Asuma is your friend," Kakashi declared confidently.

It was absurd. Asuma had become Jiang Feng's friend even though Jiang Feng had stolen the girl Asuma had grown up with. But that was the truth.

As mentioned earlier, nobody knew exactly how many friends Uchiha Jiang Feng had.

"That's right. Asuma is my friend."

Uchiha Jiang Feng sighed. "So why do you think I hid away on the very day Asuma was taking the Chunin Ninja Exams? And why did you bring Kurenai here?"

Kakashi's expression changed as he realized he'd made a mistake. He shouldn't have brought Kurenai here just to satisfy his petty competitive streak, or to disrupt Uchiha Jiang Feng's "day off."

But it was too late for regrets.

Asuma had already arrived, with Nohara Rin and Obito following behind him.

"Jiang Feng, I knew Kurenai would come looking for you. Accept my challenge! I'm a Chunin now, too. This time, I'll definitely beat you!"

"Kakashi, I challenge you, too.

"Even though I didn't pass the Chunin Ninja Exams, beating you will be a piece of cake!"