The Deliveryman

Jingshi, winter 2010, 8 p.m.

A silver-gray electric scooter rode into Dongsheng Yuyuan Residential Area. The driver's yellow jacket bore the words "Haotuan Delivery."

Dongsheng Yuyuan Residential Area was only a kilometer from Penguin Innovation Building, the headquarters of Penguin Video, one of the country's three major video-streaming platforms. Many Penguin Video employees and executives lived here.

Li Xun parked his scooter, took out the delivery, and gazed up at the residential building before him, lost in thought.

In his previous life, he'd been a screenwriter. Over the course of more than a decade, he'd written a dozen scripts for film and television, on and off, yet he'd never managed to make a name for himself. Then, one day, a famous director took a liking to one of his scripts. The director offered to buy it for 500,000 yuan and secured another fifty million in investment. That was fifty million yuan! He, Li Xun, was finally going to make it!

Since the director thought so highly of his script, how could he fail to show his appreciation? When the director offered him a toast, he had to drink, no matter what!

But Li Xun had always been a terrible drinker. Just two ounces of liquor could leave him drunk for an entire day. Yet on the day filming began, he'd drunk a full half-kilo.

When he woke up, he'd become Li Xun in this parallel world—a deliveryman for Haotuan Delivery.

His new self was so poor that, to pay rent and afford three meals a day, he had no choice but to keep working his old job for now. In his spare time, he'd also taken Penguin Video's hiring exam.

The results of the Penguin Video hiring exam had come out more than ten days ago. He'd passed, and now he'd successfully cleared the interview and received his employment notice. Starting tomorrow, he'd officially be working at Penguin Video.

Ninth floor, 901.

"Ding-dong, ding-dong."

The door opened.

A young woman stood there, dressed in a white business suit and a blue miniskirt. She was so beautiful she made others feel ashamed of their own looks. Although Li Xun had been part of the entertainment industry in his previous life, he'd truly never seen many women this gorgeous.

"Miss, your delivery!"

"Bring it in and put it on that table!"

Li Xun stepped inside. His first impression of the apartment was that it was huge. It looked to be a full 150 square meters. He knew property prices in this residential area were steep, around 100,000 yuan per square meter. This apartment had to be worth at least fifteen million yuan!

Li Xun laid out the food, one dish after another. The order covered an entire table, with eight dishes in all:

Steamed fish head with chopped chili, steamed cured meats, spicy chicken, duck blood, pork belly steamed with pickled vegetables, stir-fried pork with chili peppers, hot-and-sour konjac tofu, and bitter melon stuffed with meat.

They were all classic Xiang Cuisine dishes.

Li Xun was just about to turn and leave when the woman spoke.

"It's my birthday today. I ordered a whole table of food, but there's no one to celebrate with. Would you have a drink with me?"

"Sorry, I don't drink."

Li Xun was tempted by an invitation from such a beauty, but his drinking ability was just as pathetic as it had been in his previous life!

The woman silently fetched a bottle of water and a bottle of Maotai. Then she filled one glass with water and another with Maotai.

She handed Li Xun the glass of water and picked up the glass of Maotai herself.

"Please!"

With that, she tipped her head back and downed the liquor in one go.

That was a three-ounce glass, and she'd emptied it in one gulp!

Li Xun stared, dumbfounded.

She looked so delicate, but she could really hold her liquor!

Then he watched her face turn red at a visible speed. She seemed to sway as if she weren't standing on solid ground, but on the deck of a rocking boat.

Seeing this, Li Xun set down his glass of water and helped her over to the sofa.

The woman was completely drunk. Leaning against the sofa, she began to slur and trail off between words.

"Do you know? I'm Dai Ying, the top scorer on the college entrance exam, the... darling of my family! I came out of... the mountains, with... no connections at all. Before I turned twenty-nine, I bought a house this big in Jingshi entirely through my own ability. In cash! Don't you think I'm successful? I, Dai Ying, am a senior vice president at a Fortune Global 500 company... one of the world's most valuable brands... I earn... more than ten million a year. Doesn't that make me successful? You... tell me... am I... successful?"

"Of course you are. You're more than successful—you're practically the chosen one!"

As he answered, Li Xun thought, How many dishes did she have? How could she get this drunk? Right, eight dishes. He'd delivered them.

The woman draped an arm over Li Xun's shoulder.

"But do you know what my subordinates call me behind my back?"

"What do they call you?" Li Xun asked.

"They... they call me... they call me... an old maid! They call me... the Cold-Faced Nun! They say I'm destined to die alone! How am I old? I'm... not even thirty yet! Tell me, how am I old? What gives them the right to call me an old maid? What gives them the right to say I'll never find a man? I should just... fire them all! And then... then... replace every last one of them!"

"Exactly. Fire everyone who talks behind your back. You're a senior vice president—you shouldn't have to put up with this!" Li Xun placated her as he wondered whether he could simply leave. But seeing her in this state, he wasn't comfortable walking out.

The woman continued haltingly:

"Speaking of new hires, let me tell you... a while ago, the company hired... a genius, a... genius newcomer... His imagination... runs wild!"

"What do you mean, it runs wild? Can you tell me about it?" Li Xun asked casually.

"Never mind. You wouldn't understand even if I told you. There's only one person in the whole story, from beginning to end. It'd take more than a few words to explain. All I can tell you is, it's truly incredible! A real... mind-blowing twist, a brilliant idea. This person... is bound to become famous overnight!"

"Is he really that good?" Li Xun asked, wondering whether he should find her something to sober her up. Her face was already red as a hot coal. She was this drunk, and it wouldn't be right to leave—but staying didn't feel right either.

"Do you know? No, you couldn't possibly know! It's a genius idea! A genius! This is the kind of talent I need. Those people who do nothing but gossip behind my back are all useless, incapable of getting anything done and always making a mess of things. They spend months writing something, and it's always riddled with mistakes and completely unoriginal. If... if I, as their vice president, didn't give them direction over and over, their work would be... an eyesore. And they have the nerve to call me... the Cold-Faced Nun? To call me an old maid? They even say I'll never find anyone, that I never smile! Their work is so terrible—why should I put on a pleasant face for them? They're incompetent. Why should I smile at them? Just wait until this genius newcomer arrives. I'll... I'll smile at him every single day!"

"Good, good. Smile at him and make those gossips furious. By the way, do you have any close friends? Give me their number and I'll call someone to come help. You're this drunk—you can't be left alone!"

Silence.

The woman looked at Li Xun, then suddenly fell quiet.

The atmosphere shifted without either of them noticing.

The woman stared hard at Li Xun with red-rimmed eyes.

"Would you kiss me?"

Li Xun looked at Dai Ying in surprise and swallowed hard.

That was sudden.

Wouldn't that be taking advantage of her?

What if she regretted it when she woke up tomorrow?

That hazy gaze. Those flushed cheeks.

This was way too much of a test of his self-control!

"I know, deep down, that what they say is right. I really am an old maid. No, I'm... not just an... old maid. I'm twenty-nine, and I've never even kissed anyone. I've missed out! Heh, do you think I've missed out?... I used to do nothing but study as hard as I could. Now... now I work... work myself to the bone every day. I don't even know how to date. Maybe... I really will end up alone, just like they say! I'm too proper. I'm too afraid to take risks! I'm changing that today. Having a drink with a stranger... that's a change. Letting a stranger kiss me is a change, too! Can you take... take that risk with me? Can you... kiss me?"

"Um, this doesn't seem like a good idea. Wouldn't it be awkward when we see each other again?"

Li Xun's lips were dry, and he couldn't help licking them.

"Again? What's this 'again' you're talking about? I'll uninstall Haotuan right now. After this, we'll be strangers. We'll never see each other again!"

Li Xun swallowed. His breathing grew uneven, but he still managed to hold on to some self-control.

Dai Ying grew impatient.

"Why are you so hesitant? How about this... you... kiss me once, and I'll give you a hundred yuan. Will you do it or not?"

Li Xun's heart raced. He walked over to the table, downed the water in his glass, then took the bottle of Maotai from across the table and filled it. He took a tiny sip.

That was about half an ounce.

He'd throw caution to the wind.

A little liquor gave a coward courage!

Then their faces, red as hot coals, came together.

Li Xun was a terrible drinker in both lives. After just one sip, his face turned red as a hot coal.

Then Li Xun kissed her: once, twice, three times, four times, five times, six times...

The world spun around him.

Then—

"Thud!"

Li Xun passed out.

Three minutes later, Li Xun started snoring.

His drinking ability really was just as pitiful as it had been in his previous life.

At dawn, Li Xun felt someone kicking his leg. He groggily opened his eyes, and there before him was a woman so beautiful his heart raced.

Memories of the previous night slowly returned.

He found himself savoring them.

He even licked his lips without thinking.

Dai Ying looked at the man who'd slept on the floor beside her. She felt both awkward and relieved.

She'd lost control of herself last night, which was rare. Letting a strange man drink at her place was bad enough, but she'd even... even asked him to kiss her, offering a hundred yuan per kiss? She might as well die! Once the embarrassment passed, a faint sense of dread crept in.

She'd been so drunk last night. If the man lying on the floor had had even the slightest bad intention, the consequences would have been unthinkable!

Fortunately, this healthy, handsome-looking man had passed out after a single drink.

Fortunately, she could just never see him again. She could always use Bao Le Me Delivery from now on.

But if she was being honest, the man really was incredibly handsome. Otherwise, no matter how bad her mood had been last night, she wouldn't have invited a stranger to drink with her.

The man staggered to his feet.

"Um, how many times did I kiss you last night?"

Li Xun's thoughts were a mess. All he could think of was the way she'd said she'd give him a hundred yuan for each kiss. Before he knew it, he'd blurted out something completely inappropriate.

Dai Ying's ears turned bright red. She had no idea how many times he'd kissed her, and she wanted even less to remember what had happened.

And this man was shameless. He'd already gotten what he wanted, and now he was actually asking her to pay for the kisses?!

Hadn't she kissed him back later?

She wanted to bang her head against a wall!

"Open WeChat. I'll transfer ten thousand yuan to you. You mustn't tell anyone about this. And from now on, no matter which delivery company you work for—Haotuan or Bao Le Me—if you ever get an order for this address, you're not allowed to take it. After today, I don't want to see you again!"

Li Xun pulled out his phone in a daze. Ding! Dai Ying scanned his QR code. He wasn't fully sober yet, and his head was still foggy. He thought about how today was his last day delivering food and how they probably wouldn't have much chance to meet again anyway.

In a daze, he heard Dai Ying mention ten thousand yuan, and he instinctively did the math in his head. Then he murmured:

"Ten thousand yuan is... a hundred kisses. Did I kiss you a hundred times last night?"

For some reason, he couldn't stop thinking about exactly how many times he'd kissed her.

Dai Ying's brows shot up, and her cheeks blazed red as she snapped:

"Go to hell!"

Her sharp high heel kicked Li Xun in the ankle, making him suck air through his teeth.

She looked so delicate, but she sure kicked hard.

"Goodbye!"

Li Xun hurriedly fled.

"Goodbye?!"

Dai Ying murmured, "Hopefully, never again!"