Why Am I the One Being Won Over? Chapter 45

Tail watched Huo Huo cover herself head to toe in talismans, wave her banner to bolster her courage, and nearly burrow her face into her clothes in that disgraceful display. It immediately flew into a rage and scolded her in exasperation.

"What do you know? Everyone has their own aura. The stronger your strength and fortune, the more powerful your aura becomes. Lady Xue Yi's aura is incredibly strong. Every time I stand beside her, I feel like I'm soaking in ice. And that Bai Jun is even worse!"

"You useless thing, get a grip already! Just treat it as tempering your will. What kind of behavior is this, crying at the slightest trouble? Even I'm embarrassed for you—"

"I-I don't want to temper my will! If you hadn't insisted on dragging me here, I definitely would've refused Lady Xue Yi directly! Besides, you have no idea how scary Bai Jun really is!"

Tail's sudden silence puzzled Huo Huo. Thinking that she had gained the upper hand, she raised her voice even louder.

"I still remember the first time I saw Bai Jun. His aura was absurdly huge! It was nearly five or six times stronger than Lady Xue Yi's! And that was just the aura he naturally gave off. If I accidentally make him angry... sob, I'll definitely get eaten alive!"

He couldn't be described as some ferocious tiger or anything like that. If she had to say it, he was more like a towering mountain that demanded one's reverence. The last person she had seen with such an aura was probably General Jing Yuan.

"I remember your name is Huo Huo, right? Hehehe... are you a late-night snack delivered right to my door?"

"Eek, eek, eek... D-don't eat me! My meat is really tough! Eat Tail instead—!"

The Huo Huo who had been indignantly complaining to Tail just moments ago noticed Bai Jun standing beside her at some unknown point. She instantly crouched down with her head in her hands, buried her face in her clothes, and left only her long green hair trembling outside.

"I heard Foxkin ears and tails are delicious, especially the little fox girls who haven't come of age yet. Hehe, I want to eat fox ears..."

Bai Jun wore a harmless, friendly smile, yet his entire body radiated the delighted air of someone having fun teasing a girl. Squatting before Huo Huo, he grinned mischievously and poked the soft fox ear exposed outside her clothes.

"Waaah~ N-no, don't! My tail was eaten a long time ago. If I lose my ears too, I'll definitely never get married... A-and I'm already an adult! My meat is super tough and doesn't taste good. If you want to eat someone, eat Lord Tail. Its meat is the most tender!"

Tears immediately welled up in the little girl's pretty eyes. Trembling, she raised the small banner in her hand in surrender while swiftly shifting the blame onto Tail behind her.

"That's enough. I didn't eat you, yet you're actually telling someone else to eat me?"

Tail floated out from behind Huo Huo gloomily. It had fallen silent because it had seen Bai Jun approaching and merely greeted him. When it turned back around, it found that this coward had actually been frightened to tears.

"I-it's all because of you! If I hadn't been talking to you and failed to notice my surroundings, I would've run away already. It's over now, I'm going to get eaten! Sob~"

"Hmph. You'd better get eaten down to the bone. Then I can finally regain my freedom."

The Huo Huo who had been trembling in fear moments earlier immediately gathered her courage and started bickering with Tail again upon hearing its voice. Yet whenever she noticed Bai Jun was still beside her, she became terrified all over again and buried her head in her clothes, shivering.

"Alright, I won't tease you anymore."

Though she was amusing and adorable, Bai Jun still had something to ask her. He gave up on continuing to tease her, stood, and extended his hand. "I have something to ask you. Get up off the floor already. Aren't you cold?"

"Waaah, s-sorry..."

After hearing that Bai Jun had only been joking with her, Huo Huo's flustered face turned crimson with embarrassment and shyness. Trembling, she stretched out her little hand and used Bai Jun's hand for support as she stood from the floor. But the moment she looked up and saw his face, her expression turned into a QAQ again.

"H-hello... I'm Huo Huo. Um, if there's nothing else, I'll be leaving now. B-bye..."

"You came here to say hello, not goodbye!"

Under Bai Jun's baffled gaze, Huo Huo trembled as she patted the dust off her clothes, then stepped forward stiffly with the same hand and foot, trying to leave like a little crab. Fortunately, Tail appeared in time and stopped her humiliating performance.

"So that's it. Xue Yi asked you to come collect the gifts. Did something else come up that kept her from coming?"

Bai Jun nodded in sudden realization. After comforting and explaining things to her for a while, he finally learned why this little underworld attendant had come.

"Y-yes. Lady Xue Yi said she had other matters to attend to, so she could only have me collect them on her behalf."

Though Huo Huo was still trembling all over in fear, she could at least force herself to speak a few complete sentences now.

"I see. Then I'll have to trouble you. The armguard in the storage box is for Xue Yi, while this little notebook is for Hanya. Please return these two items to them, and don't mix them up, alright?"

Bai Jun took out the storage box and notebook from his robes and handed them to her. Huo Huo committed his words to memory. After accepting the two items, she got up and prepared to leave.

It couldn't be helped. Bai Jun's aura was simply too frightening. She felt as though a mountain were sitting beside her, and the air around her was so thin that even breathing seemed difficult.

But before Huo Huo had taken two steps, her nervousness caused her left foot to trip over her right. Her body instantly lost balance, and she staggered. Her petite body drew an elegant yet helpless arc through the air before, with a thud, she achieved the great feat of falling on level ground once again beneath Bai Jun's astonished gaze. The paper dolls in her pockets also fluttered down all over the floor at the perfect moment.

"How embarrassing. Has this become your mandatory ritual whenever you meet someone?"

A mass of green flames rose behind her once more, turning into a small cluster of turquoise fire floating in the air. An extremely humanlike helplessness appeared on the flame's face. Huo Huo felt a familiar pull on her body, and when she came back to herself, Lord Tail had dragged her back to Bai Jun's side again.

"Hey, kid. Long time no see. How's Sui Sovereign been lately?" Tail took the initiative to speak.

"Sui Sovereign? Them... nothing's changed."

"Look at how dispirited you are. Shouldn't being acknowledged by Sui Sovereign be something glorious? The last person They acknowledged was that Lan."

Bai Jun froze, then sighed and waved his hand. Give me a break. That thing nearly got half my life killed, and you call that glorious?

Tail could roughly guess what he meant from his expression. It merely chuckled and said mysteriously, "It is precisely because They impartially deny all things, yet always selflessly embrace all things, that They are Sui Sovereign. Don't rush. You'll understand someday."

Bai Jun hated this kind of riddling behavior, but no matter how he pressed, Tail refused to say another word. He sighed helplessly and could only turn his attention to Huo Huo nearby.

"To be honest, I've always been curious. How did you get involved with this Suiyang? Logically speaking, it isn't weak enough to be sealed by Hanya."

"Huh? M-me...?"

Huo Huo shuddered all over. After noticing Bai Jun's gaze, she did not dare refuse. She could only swallow nervously and slowly explain.

"When I was little, I saw a dying flame in some corner of the Luofu. I felt sorry for it, so I put it on my tail. B-but I never expected Lord Tail to try to eat me!"

"Hey, hey, hey, don't spout nonsense! I was starving to death back then. I was ready to die and get it over with. Who told you to put me on your tail without asking? Don't you know Foxkin tails are the tastiest?"

Tail, which had remained silent for a long time, immediately protested on its own behalf upon hearing that.

After all, when someone was starving to death and their favorite food was placed before them, only saints could resist eating it. Clearly, Tail was no saint.

Yet Huo Huo acted as though she had not heard its rebuttal and continued speaking to herself. "I've always been thin-skinned and timid. Ever since Lord Tail latched onto me, it's been like falling into a nightmare. Nothing ever goes right, and in the end, the Ten Lords Bureau forcibly appointed me as an underworld attendant..."

After hearing the story of this unlucky little fox beside him, Bai Jun wore an expression that said, "I understand you." Even his gaze toward Huo Huo became far more emotional.

"Hey, hey, hey, you believe that? If you ask me, the root cause of this little girl's bad luck is herself. Every little thing scares her into acting like a complete coward, and then she blames others... Do you think I wanted to be bound to you?"

"I don't want to be bound to you either!"

Huo Huo became very angry upon hearing Tail's jab and let out a soft "Hmph!"

"You don't want to be bound to me? You useless thing who can never accomplish anything and always ruins everything! Aside from hanging those creepy little paper dolls all over the house, you need me whenever you run into the slightest trouble. I say you should just set up a little stall and sell snacks already!"

"You think I don't want to? I-if you hadn't latched onto me, I would've... I would've been able to set up a little stall and live a peaceful little life..."

Huo Huo's mood sank abnormally low, and tears filled her eyes. Even Bai Jun, who had been watching the show from the side, sensed that something was off and hurriedly grabbed Tail, trying to stop it.

But Tail seemed to have found its stride. Grasping Huo Huo's weak spot, it continued mocking her. "Ha! With how timid you are, some random little hooligan would probably scare you off on the first day your stall opened! You can't exorcise ghosts, you can't catch Suiyang, and you wouldn't even be able to sell snacks!"

"I-I-I don't want to be so timid either! I tried my absolute best... Otherwise, do you think I wanted to stay in a scary place like the Ten Lords Bureau? If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had to leave my mom and dad. I'm afraid of ghosts and evil spirits too. I want to live like a normal person too!"

Huo Huo had been sent into the Ten Lords Bureau at an early age to prevent Tail from escaping and causing trouble, all in the hope of securing peace. But did she not also wish to frolic freely in the sunlight like other girls her age?

Gradually, as Huo Huo became more familiar with the work of an underworld attendant, she began to understand the various evil spirits recorded by the Ten Lords Bureau. While learning of the harm those evil spirits inflicted upon the world, she also took on a small measure of responsibility in her heart.

Perhaps if I work harder, if I endure more misfortune, then maybe the people who fear evil spirits and ghosts can live better lives?

With that thought in her heart, she worked hard to change something.

It was not as though she did not care about her own timidity. She had tried to cultivate the courage to overcome evil spirits, but no matter what she did, she could not conquer her fear of those things.

"Why? Why does no one acknowledge me? I obviously... I obviously worked so hard..."

The final thread holding together her usual composure finally snapped under the strain. The girl could no longer help herself and began to sob, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Seeing that Huo Huo seemed to have truly started crying, Tail, which had been shouting most fiercely just moments ago, instantly shrank into a tiny flame. Even its fire changed from green to white. It was clear that it did not truly mean those things, but it still would not apologize.

"Uh, Bai Jun, go comfort Huo Huo. Her crying is even more annoying than the intermittent buzzing of mosquitoes..."

"You made her cry. Why should I be the one to comfort her... unless you tell me what you didn't finish saying earlier?"

Tail drifted close to Bai Jun and quietly tried to ask him to soothe Huo Huo. Bai Jun seemed to have found the perfect opportunity and threatened it in retaliation for its earlier cryptic behavior.

"Ah! You, you... sigh... Fine, fine. Just comfort her, and I'll tell you anything."

Tail gave in with a resigned sigh.

"How long has Huo Huo been an underworld attendant?"

With an expression that seemed to say, "Let's see what tricks this kid can pull," Tail watched as Bai Jun slowly shifted closer to Huo Huo.

"P-probably more than thirty years..."

"More than thirty years? So Huo Huo can already carry out missions alone now?" Bai Jun pondered for a moment, then asked softly.

Huo Huo nodded through her sobs, trying to use her sleeve to hide the tears rolling from the corners of her eyes, but they still kept falling onto the back of her hand.

For more than thirty years, she had constantly tried to temper her courage and shoulder the responsibilities and duties of an underworld attendant.

—She stayed up late watching low-budget Grade B horror comedies, trying to steel her nerves, only to gain dark circles under her eyes.

—She bought every new scientific ghost-exorcism tool she could find to improve her combat ability, only making her wallet even thinner.

—She sought divinations for guidance, only for the owner of Divination Pavilion to tell her she possessed the rare-in-a-thousand-years "fate of steadfast misfortune," and that bad luck would likely cling to her for life.

—She sought medicine and treatments, hoping to obtain courage-boosting medicine, only for her cabinets to end up full of expensive health supplements.

—She painstakingly learned the art of paper dolls from ancient texts, only for Tail to constantly mock it as utterly useless and do everything it could to make matters worse during the process.

Looking back, she had always tried to seize those tiny, faint chances for the sake of impractical fantasies. In the end, it was always like drawing water with a bamboo basket: all for nothing. She had neither gained courage nor learned any techniques for subduing demons and exorcising evil. It was utterly foolish.

Even though she knew her abilities were lacking, she could not muster the courage to resign. She could only continue persisting in fear, because deep in her heart, a voice had always kept telling her—someone as cowardly as her would surely be unable to adapt to life outside even if she left the Ten Lords Bureau.

That was why Tail's claim that she could not even sell snacks made Huo Huo so aggrieved and furious. It was not because of lies or insults, but because Lord Tail had stated the truth: the reality that she was weak and cowardly.

Perhaps deep in her heart, the target of that anger had always been her own cowardly, incapable self.

Even she despised and looked down on herself like this, so there was no need to mention anyone else. Xue Yi and Hanya must have complained countless times in private about her immaturity. Bai Jun standing before her surely thought the same.

Even if he did not say it aloud, that had to be what he thought.

"You can carry out missions alone as an underworld attendant after only thirty years? That's truly unheard of. You're so impressive that I see you in a whole new light, Huo Huo."

Surprise appeared on Bai Jun's face, and his gaze toward Huo Huo was full of admiration.

"Huh?" Her tears stopped for a moment.

A person's expression and actions could be faked, but their aura and scent could not lie. No matter how Huo Huo observed him, she could not sense even the slightest trace of falsehood from the man before her. In other words—he meant it!

"Ah, no wonder Xue Yi told me last time that you were the person she and Hanya thought most highly of. Well, I had some doubts at first, but now I can gradually understand why."

To make his point more convincing, Bai Jun counted on his fingers as he carefully analyzed it for Huo Huo.

"According to the regulations of the underworld, an ordinary junior attendant needs at least three or four hundred years of service before earning the qualifications to carry out missions alone, right? Yet you obtained those qualifications in only thirty years. Doesn't that prove your talent and potential?"

"B-but that was all Lord Tail's credit. I just hid behind it in fear. I didn't contribute much..."

Huo Huo sniffled and rubbed her reddened eyes hard with her fingers.

With Tail possessing her, she was like honey to butterflies or candlelight to fireflies, constantly attracting all manner of monsters. Fortunately, Lord Tail resolved the trouble for her every time. Even after studying at the Ten Lords Bureau for thirty years, that had not changed much.

Tail's flames flickered as it was about to speak up and explain, but Bai Jun quickly stopped it.

Bai Jun could tell that Huo Huo's issue did not stem from Tail's earlier mockery, but from the conflict within her heart. The one who tied the knot had to untie it. Unlike postwar psychological trauma caused by external factors, if she truly wanted to resolve her emotional knot, she ultimately had to rely on herself.

So he changed his approach, and his tone grew much gentler and more relaxed. "But I think Huo Huo has already worked very hard."

"N-no, I haven't... I've never been able to gather the courage to face those terrifying things head-on. No matter how hard I try to become braver, I always end up hiding furthest in the back. Someone like me, someone like me..."

"No. In my eyes, you already possess courage itself." Bai Jun shook his head and spoke softly.

"W-why...?"

Huo Huo, whose mood had sunk to rock bottom once again, immediately lifted her pretty face, her tearful eyes red at the corners, desperate for an answer.

"There are things people cannot endure. If an ordinary man is insulted, draws his sword, rises, and fights, that is not true courage. True courage is not knowing no fear or terror. It is facing fear. When sacrifice is necessary, it is overcoming the fear of death and charging forward even while trembling."

Bai Jun took a freshly washed handkerchief from his robes and handed it to Huo Huo with a smile, her eyes red from crying.

"Humanity's hymn is a hymn to courage, and humanity's greatness is the greatness of courage. In my eyes, you, who can endure your fear of demons, monsters, and evil spirits and still step forward, are already the bravest girl. No matter what your reasons may be, try holding your head high. You've already done your best."

"I... really... really..."

Huo Huo buried her face in her clothes again and cried even more miserably, though this kind of crying was a little different from before.

She cried like that for a while. Only after the sleeves of her clothes had been completely soaked by her tears did Huo Huo finally manage to stop. She did not take Bai Jun's handkerchief, instead lowering her head to hide her flushed face. "S-sorry... I'll dirty it..."

"Don't worry about it. For a man, lending a handkerchief to a crying girl is an honor."

"B-but I, I... sorry..."

Huo Huo timidly shook her head, but Bai Jun did not mind. He reached out and raised her chin. Before she understood what was happening, she was too frightened to move. Then the handkerchief gently brushed over her eyes and wiped away the remaining tear tracks.

"There, there. You're so cute. It would be a shame if crying ruined your face. To be honest, I really like your courage, you know?"

Huo Huo stared blankly. Her gentle eyes reflected the man before her. The aura that should have seemed so frighteningly powerful in her eyes suddenly became warm and comforting.