Don't Call Me Master, Call Me Director

Don't call me Master, call me Director! Author: blindのmiku酱

================================

"Director Matou Shinji, the magic special effects in your fantasy movie were so realistic! How did you do it?"

"Because I filmed it with magic."

"Director Matou, why are there almost no mistakes in your historical films?"

"Because people from that era personally guided me."

"Director Matou, why does Ultraman always like to fight Bajiquan in your tokusatsu films?"

"Because the person inside is the ancestor of Bajiquan."

"Director Matou, why do the heroines in your movies all look so alike? Especially those Miss Artorias with the same name."

"This question starts with a certain mushroom."

"..."

Matou Shinji, he was a master of visual effects cinema, a heretical Mage, and a Master who loved and killed his own Heroic Spirits.

"I'm the best director among Masters, and the best Master among directors."

Matou Shinji announced proudly.

All Heroic Spirits: "Get lost!"*N

Chapter 1: Master, Lancer poked the lightbulb

The winter Fuyuki City was clear and bright under the moonlight, peaceful and serene.

However, what happened under the moonlight was not as poetic as the beautiful scenery.

Thump!

Clang!

"Guh--!"

Shirou Emiya scrambled into the warehouse on all fours, anxiously looking around for something he could use as a weapon.

But the man chasing him wouldn't allow it.

"Is this the end?"

A red light flashed.

A scarlet spear with killing intent pierced towards Shirou Emiya.

"This--guy--!"

At the last moment, Shirou Emiya unfurled the poster he held, which gleamed with metallic luster and was rolled into a club, using it as a shield.

Clang!

"Ah--!"

Shirou Emiya let out a scream.

The poster was pierced by the spear and returned to its ordinary paper form.

The spear's thrusting power was undiminished, even piercing the spotlight in the corner.

Crack.

As the spotlight went out, the brightness of the warehouse was immediately reduced by half.

"Ah--!"

Shirou Emiya was sent flying by the impact of the spear, bouncing off the wall.

"Hoo... Hoo..."

Shirou Emiya sat on the floor, clutching his chest tightly with his right hand.

Just as he looked up, intending to grab something he could use as a weapon--

"It's over. That really startled me just now, kid."

The man standing before him was the one in the blue tight-fitting suit, holding a red spear, who had been chasing him. The spear tip was aimed precisely at his heart.

"..."

Shirou Emiya knew he had lost.

His gaze was fixed on the spear tip, and he hadn't clearly heard what the man said.

"Well then, let's end it here."

The man's hand moved.

A silver flash streaked out, targeting Shirou Emiya's heart.

"Don't mess with me! How could I----"

At this moment of life and death, Shirou Emiya let out a roar with all his might.

"—Dying here is meaningless!"

A miracle responded to Shirou Emiya's cry, and a glowing magic circle appeared beneath him.

"Huh? Could it be?"

In the dazzling light, a young girl in blue armor appeared before Shirou Emiya.

Clang!

The girl seemed to be holding something in her hand, and she directly deflected the spear that was about to pierce Shirou Emiya. Without hesitation, she charged towards the man.

"Is it really the seventh one?!"

The man, who had blocked the deflected spear, clashed with the girl who swung "something" in her hand.

Sparks flew again!

"Tch."

After taking a hit from the girl who had just appeared, the spearman realized the battle in the warehouse was not in his favor. He took a few steps back and decisively withdrew from the warehouse.

The girl did not pursue but stood her ground, slowly turning around.

The silver moonlight that shone into the warehouse illuminated the girl in knight's attire, making her appear so holy and noble.

"……"

Shirou Emiya couldn't make a sound.

The girl before him was too beautiful, leaving him speechless.

"……"

"……"

"……"

After staring at Shirou for a long time, the girl tilted her head and said in a stern voice:

"Um… Master. Lancer broke the light, so we can't film this take, can we?"

Not far away, a blue-haired young man sitting in a director's chair frowned deeply upon hearing this.

"Cut! This take is definitely no good."

The young man waved his clapperboard, signaling the other crew members to pause their work.

"Everyone, quickly set up again. We'll restart in a bit."

With that, Shinji stood up from his chair and walked to the center of the set, reaching out to pull Shirou up from the ground.

"Thanks, Shinji."

Shirou patted the debris off himself and said with a smile.

"Yeah, Shirou, hurry up and change your clothes. It'll take a little while before we start again."

The young man named Shinji rested his chin on his hand, his eyes looking at Artoria as he spoke.

"OK."

Shirou nodded.

He knew Shinji had something to say to the knightly girl, so he quickly withdrew.

"Master, what do you need me for?"

Artoria directly confirmed with Shinji, her swift and decisive manner reminding Shinji of a stern soldier.

Shinji nodded and said, "Yes, your expression was good, and your camera presence was excellent. When we reshoot later, remember to maintain this level."

"Really? Thank you for the compliment."

Artoria nodded slightly, showing no further emotion even after being praised.

Seeing his Servant so serious, Shinji, who had only intended to offer some advice, felt like teasing her.

"Saber, come here for a moment."

"What is it?"

Artoria walked expressionlessly in front of Shinji.

The Saber Shinji summoned was the most classic version of the King of Tackiness. This Artoria, with her spiritual foundation, was only 1.54 meters tall, reaching only about Shinji's shoulder, making her quite a petite girl.

However, the burden of responsibility for an entire nation placed on this petite girl was originally an important aspect of Artoria's character.

But Shinji looked further ahead. He hoped Saber could show more varied expressions. Even if she couldn't become an angel like Saber Lily, she could at least be more girlish.

Otherwise, promoting her in future movies will be difficult.

Shinji sighed. He raised his clapperboard and, under Artoria's expectant gaze, hit her on the head with a "thud."

"Master, do you have a tendency to hit people arbitrarily?"

Artoria looked at Shinji, confused and puzzled.

"Saber, I must have told you this already!"

Shinji pressed the directorial megaphone against Artoria's head, spinning it around.

"Until I, your Director, yell 'Cut,' you must continue acting according to the script unless you're injured!"

Artoria nodded slightly. "Now that you mention it... it does seem like you said something like that... I'm sorry, Master, I was wrong."

"..."

Shinji's mouth twitched.

Artoria's overly flat tone made it difficult to feel the sincerity of her apology.

[There's no other choice. You've forced me to use my trump card.]

Shinji removed the megaphone and gently caressed Artoria's cheek, a wicked smile playing on his lips.

"I believe our King Arthur will remember every word her Master Director says and diligently follow them, won't you?"

Before Artoria could answer, Shinji's expression changed, and he threatened in a low voice.

"If you can't do that, I'll use a Command Spell to forbid you from eating snacks on set!"

Hearing this, Artoria couldn't help but take a step back.

"How could you... That's so despicable, Master."

Seeing Artoria's eyes finally lose their calm, unfathomable coldness, replaced by a hint of panic.

Even if it was just a little, Shinji was very satisfied.

[As expected, compared to ordinary girls, there's more of a sense of accomplishment in winning over a girl with such a dignified aura. Especially peeling away that cool, beautiful exterior, it's truly the best.]

"So, Saber, what's your answer?"