Don't Call Me Master, Call Me Director!
Chapter 12

Mage Gathering (×) Matchmaking Event (√)

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"Of course. This is your big brother's first movie."

Shinji seemed not to notice Sakura's conflicted expression. Smiling, he tapped his younger sister on the forehead with a finger.

"Are you ready to welcome the new age of cinema, Miss Matou Sakura?"

Chapter 13: Mage Gathering (×) Matchmaking Event (√)

For most of the crew, the end of filming meant they could enjoy a nice, relaxing long vacation.

Even the students at least had a chance to study in peace before their final exams and make sure they'd have a pleasant winter break.

But Shinji wasn't so lucky. After only two days of rest at home, he headed to Tokyo alone to begin post-production on FSN.

It wasn't that Shinji didn't want to work in Fuyuki City. The problem was that Fuyuki had no film post-production studios, so he had no choice but to go to Tokyo, Japan's current center of filmmaking.

Post-production itself went relatively smoothly. Shinji's uncle, Matou Kariya, worked as a tokusatsu actor in Tokyo, and through his connections, Shinji rented a post-production studio from Tsuburaya.

As an established film company, Tsuburaya had equipment that more than met Shinji's needs. Master Shinji also hired an experienced Tsuburaya editor to help him with the tedious work of editing the film.

There was only one thing that really bugged Master Shinji. Because the seven Servants summoned by the Holy Grail were bound by the Ley Lines, they couldn't leave Fuyuki City. That meant Shinji still had to return there to record the film's post-production voice work.

As a result, he had to keep traveling back and forth between Fuyuki City and Tokyo.

"I've decided. Once FSN makes money, I'm building a full-fledged post-production studio in Fuyuki City!"

At the Matou Residence, Shinji, back from Tokyo yet again, flopped onto the table and complained.

"Oh~~ is that so?"

Matou Zouken replied lazily from across the table, apparently not having heard what Shinji had said.

"Grandpa~~"

The corner of Shinji's mouth twitched violently. His right hand clenched and unclenched several times.

If he weren't afraid one punch would leave this "Master Yoda" with multiple fractures all over his body, Shinji would have already hit him.

The reason was simple: Matou Zouken was just too infuriating right now.

The old man was lounging with his legs crossed on a soft sofa that nearly swallowed him whole. In one hand, he held a golden wine goblet filled with fine liquor—probably plucked from Gleaming King's Treasure—while in the other, he toyed with a cricket he'd just bought at a high price from China.

At the old man's right stood Little Yi Ge, bent over deferentially with a fruit platter in hand. On his left, Heracles slowly fanned him with a palm-leaf fan, wearing a simple-minded expression.

"Grandpa, where'd you get the look of a rich old landowner?!"

Shinji slapped the table and shouted at Matou Zouken.

Matou Zouken lazily scratched his left knee with his right foot and said, unconcerned, "Ah~~ I am a rich landowner."

"You make a pretty good point. I can't argue with that... Wait, why are you using a fan in the middle of winter?!"

"Because the air conditioner's on."

Matou Zouken took a sip of wine and answered calmly.

"Then why not turn it off? Do you know how much the electricity bill is?"

Electricity in Japan was absurdly expensive, just like fruit back home. In summer and winter especially, a little carelessness could leave you with a bill of a hundred thousand yen or more.

The Matou family might not be short on money, but there was no need to waste it like this.

"You're an idiot, Shinji." Matou Zouken rolled his eyes at his grandson and proudly displayed the cricket in his palm. "If I turn off the air conditioner, won't my precious little darling freeze to death?"

"..."

It seemed that, no matter the world, nothing could change Matou Zouken's love of bugs.

Shinji wasn't sure whether to be glad that his grandpa was playing with crickets instead of Engraved Insects.

"Big brother, don't mind Grandpa." Sakura handed Shinji some tea and complained, "Ever since he bought that bug, he's been acting crazy nonstop."

Matou Zouken looked wounded. "Sakura, that's a terrible thing to say to your grandpa. I'm an old man; this is practically my only hobby."

Sakura glared at him unhappily and said coldly, "Grandpa! If you keep acting crazy, I'm deep-frying that bug!"

"Don't! Sakura, you can't be so cruel. Shinji, my good grandson, hurry and talk some sense into your sister."

As he spoke, Zouken turned to Shinji.

Shinji acted as if he hadn't seen anything and lowered his head to drink his tea.

As if! This wasn't the first time Second Master had run into something like this. If he spoke up for Grandpa now, deep-fried crickets would end up in his own bowl later.

"Sakura, this tea tastes great. You're getting better and better at making it."

Shinji ignored Matou Zouken's look and praised her with a smile.

Hearing her brother's praise, little Sakura looked bashfully pleased.

"Big brother, how's work been lately?"

"Not bad." Shinji sighed softly. "I just end up arguing with Mr. Ohara every few days."

Ohara was the editor from Tsuburaya. Shinji kept arguing with him because they had completely different ideas about editing a film.

To the old editor, many of Shinji's editing ideas were just reckless nonsense. Shinji, meanwhile, thought Ohara Kenji was too conservative and had failed to grasp the essence of the commercial film he envisioned.

Shinji's proposed approach to editing a commercial film wasn't just made up on the spot. It had a very clear theoretical basis.

In Shinji's previous life, Hollywood film companies had done extensive research to make sure their investments of hundreds of millions of dollars paid off.

By analyzing huge quantities of data and conducting psychological research, they had even created a comprehensive framework for the timing of commercial films.

The schedule was incredibly detailed. It specified exactly when each action scene should begin and end, down to the minute and second, when the tension and romance between the male and female leads should start, and even when they should kiss, among other things.

By the time Shinji had crossed over, that schedule had already become less effective. Most commercial films no longer followed it very closely.

Audiences had seen too many films built on the same template and were long tired of those formulaic productions.

But in this Type-Moon world, where even novice viewers had never seen Star Wars, that framework was nothing short of a stroke of genius.

It was like everyone else was using addition and subtraction to solve math problems while Shinji went straight to calculus.

Shinji believed his film would hit an industry as stagnant as a pool of dead water like an atomic bomb.

Unfortunately, the editor named Ohara didn't understand Shinji's approach. To him, Shinji's editing broke with tradition and was just a young man fooling around.

Fortunately, since art films dominated this world, directors had far more say in a film's production than anyone else. No matter how stubborn the editor was, he couldn't go against Shinji.

Shinji didn't care much about the editor's attitude. They were simply in an employer-employee relationship, and all he needed was for the man to turn the footage into a film.

"That's enough, Grandpa. Get rid of that bug already!"

"Don't, my dear granddaughter. This is the only favor I'll ever ask in my entire life."

"That's already the 417th 'only favor you'll ever ask in your entire life'!"

Matou Zouken and Sakura's argument interrupted Shinji's thoughts.

Seeing that the commotion between the grandfather and granddaughter might spill over to him, Shinji hurriedly downed the rest of his tea and made a quick getaway.

"Good grandson!"

Just as Shinji reached the stairs, Matou Zouken called out to him.

"Grandpa, I'm not taking your side against Sakura. You'd better just give in to her."

"It's not about that." Matou Zouken smiled at him. "There's a Japanese Mage Gathering in Tokyo tomorrow night. You're coming with me."

"A gathering?"

At his grandfather's words, Shinji furrowed his brow slightly.

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Though he really didn't want to go, Shinji still accompanied Matou Zouken to Kyoto the next day to attend the gathering.

It was an annual year-end gathering for Japan's native Mage Families, held in Kyoto and hosted in rotation by several of the city's prominent mage families.

When Shinji followed his grandpa into the venue, he saw many prominent figures from Japan's Mage world gathered in the enormous banquet hall.

After thinking it over, Shinji realized that quite a few of them were also big names in ordinary society.

A server led the way as Shinji followed his grandpa into the banquet hall, a wineglass in hand.

To be honest, Shinji didn't think much of Japan's native mage families and mages.

Whether it was due to Japan's conservative culture, the already insular world of mages seemed especially closed off here.

If European mages could be described as conservative, Japanese mages were stubborn rocks, impossible to change.

To these people, practical mages like Shinji were "unfilial brats who defied their ancestors." Shinji, in turn, found their outdated ideas repulsive. The two sides simply couldn't stand each other.

"So, Grandpa, why did you bring me here?"

In the banquet hall of a luxury hotel in Kyoto, Shinji asked Matou Zouken at his side, looking irritated.

"Good grandson, don't put it like that~" Matou Zouken chuckled. "Maybe there'll be a family here that understands you."

"How could there be?" Shinji scoffed. "If there were, would I have gone to the Clock Tower to recruit people in the first place?"

Shinji's attitude toward them brought Cao Cao's words to mind: "Fools! They're not worth plotting with!"

"Don't say that." Matou Zouken looked up at Shinji. "According to your plans, you're going to summon more Heroic Spirits, right? Maybe a family will agree to lease you a Ley Line."

"How could there be?"

Shinji said that, but his feet were already following his grandpa as he met the various mages through Matou Zouken's introductions.

With the Ley Line mana currently available in Fuyuki City, summoning seven Servants was already the limit. If Shinji wanted to summon more, the best option was to connect other Ley Lines to Fuyuki's and increase its supply of mana.

And the best Ley Lines in all of Japan were controlled by the mages in that very banquet hall.

So Shinji had to admit that his grandpa had a point. There was no harm in at least getting to know them.

But as time passed, Shinji realized something was off.

Of the mages Matou Zouken introduced, at least nine out of ten would casually bring up the daughters among their younger relatives. They were also considerate enough to tell Shinji about the girls' good qualities and praise their talent.

"Grandpa."

After finishing yet another conversation with a member of an established mage family, Shinji tugged at his grandpa.

"This has nothing to do with Ley Lines, does it? Have you brought me to a matchmaking service?"

Shinji stared at him with a dark expression.

Matou Zouken chuckled. "What's wrong with that? Those girls are all quite nice."

"Hey!"

Matou Zouken tapped his cane, unbothered by his grandson's complaints.

"Good grandson, you should know that your talent for Magecraft is the best among your generation in all of Japan. It's only natural that these families would be interested in you."

As he spoke, Matou Zouken glanced sideways at his grandson.

"Shinji, weren't you having a grand old time at the Clock Tower? Why are you acting so proper now that you're back in Japan?"

"That's completely different." Shinji replied irritably. "Besides, these old folks couldn't care less about my plans or ideals. Why are they suddenly trying to make me their son-in-law?"

Matou Zouken teased him. "They don't care what you want to do. As long as you use that family inheritance of yours to get their women pregnant, that's all they need."

His grandfather's words made Matou Shinji feel a little uncomfortable.

Although Master Shinji himself had been irresistible to women all over the Clock Tower, he'd pursued them out of admiration and affection for beautiful girls.

It wasn't exactly true love, but at the very least, they'd come together in the heat of passion.

But these people...

"Calling them inflatable dolls would be giving them too much credit. What's the difference between this and breeding livestock?" Shinji muttered.

"That's just what mages are like."

Matou Zouken nodded in agreement, then suddenly gave a sinister smile. "It's a good thing, too. If they refuse to lend you their Ley Lines later, you can trade them your genes instead."

"Grandpa..."

Shinji was about to say something else when two people suddenly approached them.

They were a grandfather and granddaughter as well, except the old man had brought a young red-haired woman, not a grandson.

Shinji knew them. The old man was the head of the famous Aozaki Family, and the woman with him was Aozaki Aoko, one of the "Four Type-Moon Heroines."

End of Chapter
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