"It's not a dark horse at all! My brother winning the box-office crown was only to be expected!"
At the Matou family's dinner table, Sakura slapped the newspaper and complained in irritation.
"But Master is still a newcomer, right?" Artoria mumbled, her mouth full as she ate a huge plate of puff pastry. "Isn't it normal for a newcomer to get results like this and be called a dark horse?"
"Finish eating before you talk."
Sakura shook her head helplessly, then looked up at her brother.
"Brother, what do you think?"
Shinji was reading through the other newspapers. Without looking up, he replied, "I don't care whether I'm a dark horse or not. As long as they say nice things about me, that's all that matters. Hurry up and look through the other papers."
Because Japan's entertainment industry was so highly developed, there were a great many entertainment newspapers, which made it quite a hassle for Shinji to find the specific articles he was looking for.
So Shinji had no choice but to enlist his family to help search. Even the Heroic Spirits in the house were roped into the task.
Aside from Artoria, who was busy eating, and Berserker, who couldn't read newspapers, Shinji had mobilized all the other Heroic Spirits.
In the end, Yan Qing was the first to find what Shinji wanted among the mountains of newspapers.
"Master, is this the bad review you were looking for?"
Little Yi Ge handed Shinji a newspaper.
The headline in the column read: "White Bone Demoness Teases Sima Yi, while Wu Dalang Takes Over Lin Daiyu!! A Film Like This Is a Tragedy for Japanese Cinema!!"
"Hmph. They finally couldn't hold back."
Seeing the somewhat shocking headline, Shinji's lips curled into a faint smile.
As expected, those film critics couldn't sit still as FSN's box office kept climbing.
"If that's how it is, then let the storm come down even harder!"
Master Shinji wore the standard "just as planned" expression.
"Tell Miss Udagawa to start the flame war."
Shinji: I Just Love Watching Other People Rage Helplessly
Although he said he was going to start a flame war with the film critics, the Second Master had never planned to fight them directly, trading blows in earnest.
Not to mention whether verbally insulting their female relatives was polite, Shinji also didn't want people in the industry to see him as an arrogant, overbearing young upstart.
Besides, Shinji knew exactly where those high-and-mighty film critics were vulnerable. They weren't afraid of trading barbs with people. What they feared most was being ignored.
The best way to strike at those critics wasn't to point out what they'd gotten wrong. It was to ignore their opinions and praise the films they disliked instead.
So, on the evening the article was published, Asahi TV's evening news broadcast an interview carefully arranged by Bandai.
The station connected live to a movie theater, deliberately filming the crowds of ordinary moviegoers pouring out of the screening rooms and interviewing them.
In front of the reporter's camera, the audience members, still buzzing after enjoying the film, made no effort to hide how much they loved FSN.
"FSN was amazing! Saber's story had me in tears!"
"I've never seen fight scenes this exciting! The crew did an incredible job!"
"This movie was better than every other movie I've ever seen in my life combined!"
"I love Saber! A girl King Arthur was just amazing!"
When they saw the TV crew interviewing people, the young audience members eagerly crowded in front of the camera, shouting their thoughts about the film straight into the lens.
"Mm, it looks like the segment turned out great."
Watching the news, Master Shinji nodded with satisfaction.
"Master, did you hire extras? Isn't that movie theater in Fuyuki City?"
Cú Chulainn asked quietly.
Having recently followed Shinji around to help with the promotion, the Heroic Spirits had learned quite a bit about advertising tactics.
"Master, lying is wrong."
Artoria gave him a solemn reminder.
Medusa didn't say anything. She merely pushed her glasses up coldly, her gaze fixed on Shinji with nothing but contempt.
"This isn't lying. It's just a promotional tactic!" Shinji protested under the pricking gazes of his Servants. "Besides, how could an interview like that have been rehearsed in advance?"
Master Shinji certainly wasn't going to admit that he'd used Suggestion Magic to make those people say what he wanted.
Yan Qing, leaning against the wall with a cup of tea, offered a fair assessment. "As the saying goes, all's fair in war. That group of so-called film critics started this fight, after all. Our retaliation is perfectly reasonable."
"That's right, that's right! Master, I think the best counterattack is to make a film that leaves them speechless! Let me, the best actor among the Heroic Spirits, star in the next one and shut them up!"
Cú Chulainn pointed at himself confidently with his thumb, flashing a bright white grin.
"You?"
"Forget it. Just forget it."
"Lancer, did you watch that manga too?"
"At most, you could play a comic relief character."
"Faker, I admire your courage."
"Lancer, have you eaten so much dog food that you're talking nonsense?"
Everyone present rejected Cú Chulainn's offer with disgust.
"Huh?! Why?!"
The others' reaction left Cú Chulainn deeply wounded.
"So you're still not good enough," Shinji said, teasing Big Doggy aloud while planning his next move in his head.
Those film critics should understand that I've thrown down the gauntlet, right? They ought to do something in response.
Sure enough, the day after the news aired, the critic who had written "Wu Dalang Takes Over Lin Daiyu" about FSN published another article criticizing the film.
Bandai wasn't about to back down either. They bought newspaper space to promote FSN with all kinds of advertorials. Their articles frequently featured interviews with ordinary viewers praising the film, and they even thoughtfully published daily updates on FSN's steadily rising box-office figures.
And under the Second Master's wicked direction, all this material was placed on the same pages as the articles criticizing FSN, making the contrast unmistakable.
Sure enough, the critics were furious when they saw it.
We film critics have already said this movie is garbage, so why are so many people still going to see it?! This generation of moviegoers is hopeless! We have to set them straight at once!
Before long, all sorts of articles criticizing FSN crowded the entertainment pages of the major newspapers. Nearly every one said the same thing about how terrible the film was.
"FSN is nothing but a horrifying disaster. The director, Matou Shinji, is nothing but a sadist!"
That was the first sentence Sakura saw when she opened the newspaper.
A critic named Kouichi Ippei had devoted his review column to an article condemning FSN.
"I watched FSN several weeks ago. To put it frankly, the film's excessively loud noise and chaotic plot are downright abusive, far beyond what human beings can endure!!"
"Just as I said in the headline, this film is nothing but a pot of random ingredients thrown together! Never mind the fact that King Arthur couldn't possibly have been a girl—the mere fact that characters from vastly different historical periods have been crammed into one movie is enough to leave anyone confused and disgusted!!"
"It has no logic, countless plot holes, and an air of pretentious mystery. I hate this movie. I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it!!"
In his lengthy review, Kouichi Ippei not only denounced FSN in the harshest terms but also gave it a dismal score of one point.
Sakura then picked up the other newspapers Shinji had set aside. Without exception, they all contained bad reviews of FSN.
"This inept film will destroy every good impression you have of cinema. A movie with neither soul nor emotion; when you finish watching, all you'll feel is that you've wasted more than two hours."
Another critic, writing for Kinema Junpo, had also mocked FSN to the hilt, giving it a pitiful score of two points.
The Yomiuri Shimbun was a little more generous, but on a ten-point scale, its score of 3.5 was still a failure.
"An adaptation is not an excuse to make things up! This film is not only boring but full of perverse humor. The entire crew should apologize to the people of Britain!"
Now that's some real nitpicking.
Sakura looked through the other newspapers. Every one of them had critics condemning FSN, with words like "noise," "stupid," and "chaotic" practically taking over the pages.
"It looks like those people really hate your movie, Brother."
Sakura looked at her older brother, only to find him smiling.
"Brother, you're not actually a sadist, are you?" Sakura asked with a hint of disdain. "Does being insulted like this make you happy?"
"Of course not. I'm just laughing because those film critics have no brains."
Shinji wagged a finger, looking as pleased with himself as a strategist who had planned every move.
"If they really didn't like the movie, they should've kept quiet instead of jumping up and down and shouting whatever came to mind."
Sakura tilted her head, puzzled. "But the movies they've criticized like this in the past have basically all flopped."
Shinji answered with a couple of cold laughs.
"Because those movies were supposedly art films, which are completely different from commercial movies. Without good reviews from critics, audiences wouldn't go anywhere near those confusing films."
Even though FSN was being condemned across the board by professional critics, Master Shinji wasn't worried at all.
There were plenty of movies with rock-bottom critical reputations but huge box-office success in his previous life.
The most classic example was Star Wars, which had practically become a kind of religious culture in the West. Before its release, people had dismissed it, but it had left the critics with their faces badly bruised.
By the time the 2010s arrived, in that era of widespread internet access, critics had to praise commercial films they disliked just to make a living.
Otherwise, online mobs alone could drown them.
In this world, the internet wasn't especially advanced yet, and film critics had much more influence than they'd had before Shinji crossed over.
But the Second Master knew those people were paper tigers, so he didn't care.
"Sakura, you have to understand: criticism from film critics isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's something we can use to promote the movie. Controversy is always better than being ignored."
Shinji ran a hand through Sakura's hair, speaking to his younger sister earnestly.
"The main audience for FSN is teenagers. People that age are rebellious. They don't trust any authority, and they'll even question what the authorities say... Ow!"
After getting bitten, Shinji pulled his hand back.
Sakura smiled "kindly." "My dear big brother~~ Are you calling me rebellious?"
If that's not rebellious, then what is? You even left teeth marks.
But even the audacious Master Shinji didn't want to make Sakura angry. That would be just as dangerous as taking all of Artoria's food while she was eating.
So Master Shinji quickly explained, "Ahem. By authority, I mean those bastards who call themselves film critics."
"Those people probably haven't realized that the more viciously they criticize us, the more interested our audience will become in the film—especially while the box office keeps climbing."
As he spoke, Shinji glanced at the newspapers on the table. Those articles all mentioned how dissatisfied the critics were with the audience members who praised FSN.
They didn't insult the moviegoers outright, but every line implied that those people had terrible taste.
"Mm. Those old-timers really don't understand how young people think."
The corners of Master Shinji's mouth lifted slightly.
What young people hated most was old-timers, completely out of touch with them, telling them what to think of their own tastes.
If it was a family elder, they might be able to put up with it. But why should a bunch of strangers with no connection to them get to interfere and tell them what to do?!
Thanks to the Japanese media's strong reliance on print, plenty of young people would see those articles.
Master Shinji could almost picture some young moviegoers going to see the film just to defy authority—the critics—out of spite.
"Tell Bandai to step up the film's promotion. Don't let up."
Just thinking about FSN's box office continuing to rise made Master Shinji's heart swell with delight.
"Just imagine how helplessly furious those people will be when they're hopping mad, but still can't stop FSN's box office from climbing... Tsk, tsk."
"You really are despicable, Matou Shinji."
Red A, who had been watching the show from the sidelines, made a cold remark.
"Thanks for the compliment, Heroic Spirit Gu... sir."
Before you continue