However, the fees for processing that kind of credential were also higher. I heard one cost nearly ten thousand euros.
Shinji couldn't help marveling at how shrewd the French were. They knew to fleece the people with money.
In fact, compared to other newcomers attending the festival, the FSN Film Crew had spent relatively little, thanks to the meticulous Waver, who had found an old hand in Britain to guide them.
Thanks to Derek Ford, a big name who had spent years in the industry, Shinji had avoided wasting a lot of money.
The name might not ring a bell, but Bernard Woolley, whom he played in the Yes, Minister series, was a household name—even though the wrinkled old man had by now gone from "little angel" to "old angel."
In this Type-Moon parallel world, Derek Ford was not only an actor but also a Magecraft user from the Clock Tower.
The more Shinji learned about this world, the more he felt that its somewhat bizarre entertainment industry was a reflection of one mushroom's personal preferences.
The things that had been fully "preserved" were mostly the kinds the other party liked, such as Tokusatsu, horror films, mecha anime, and all sorts of British television.
Not only had the most classic version of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes survived, but so had the cultural heritage that was Yes, Minister.
Shinji was absolutely delighted about that. He had loved Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister for two whole lifetimes.
Unfortunately, Mr. Hawthorne, the actor Shinji liked best among the trio for his portrayal of Sir Humphrey, had died in 2001. Shinji deeply regretted it.
"Mr. Hawthorne was the most dedicated actor I've ever met. Even by the time a season had finished airing, he could still recite every line without missing a word."
Sitting in the living room of their hotel suite, Shinji held a cup of coffee and chatted with Derek Ford about amusing stories from the days when they had filmed the series.
After hearing Derek Ford praise his idol, Shinji raised an eyebrow and asked, "Even the long, complicated lines?"
"Of course."
Derek Ford blinked and flashed a textbook Bernard-style smile.
Shinji tilted his head back and sighed. "That's amazing. I wish the actors on my team could do that."
As he spoke, Shinji glanced at Tohsaka Rin, who was reading in the corner.
She had only arrived in Cannes yesterday, the sole FSN actor who had come to promote the film at the festival.
It wasn't that Shinji hadn't wanted to bring more of the cast. The male lead, Shirou, spoke no English at all; Kirei Kotomine was a religious man, so it wasn't very convenient for him to come; the Heroic Spirits couldn't leave Fuyuki City; and the remaining actors had rather awkwardly small roles in the film.
So in the end, only Rin had come.
Fortunately, Rin had timed her trip around her studies and arrived in France a few days after Shinji and the others. She had missed Chloe.
Otherwise, the "drama" at the airport would probably have been even livelier.
When Rin heard Shinji's sigh, she gave an annoyed snort.
"Shinji, are you asking those of us in wheelchairs to race a Ferrari? That'd be embarrassing enough for the Ferrari, wouldn't it?"
After spending so many years with Shinji, Rin had picked up plenty of cheeky remarks.
After hearing about Mr. Hawthorne's achievements, Tohsaka Rin had also come to admire the actor. Having acted herself, she knew how difficult it was to memorize long passages, let alone deliver them brilliantly while getting every word exactly right.
But Tohsaka Rin also believed that there couldn't be many actors of Mr. Hawthorne's caliber anywhere in the world. How could they expect a few bronze-ranked amateurs like themselves to compete with the strongest King...
"Well, you're already doing very well."
Derek Ford chuckled beside them. "As I recall, the main cast in the film were all complete newcomers, right? That's a fine performance for a first try. Don't be too hard on them."
"Not at all. They're just a bunch of people who can't even memorize their lines."
Shinji modestly shook his head, though a hint of smugness showed on his face.
"This guy..."
Rin frowned in annoyance, then turned her attention back to the book in her hands.
Shinji leaned back on the sofa and slowly savored his coffee, thinking about how to train his Heroic Spirits in the future.
With old Mr. Hawthorne as an example, I know what direction I should train those guys in now.
Shinji set himself and the Heroic Spirits a "small goal."
"Achoo!" * 7
The seven Heroic Spirits far away in Fuyuki City all sneezed at once.
"I say, Shinji. Since you came all the way to Cannes, you could at least watch the broadcast, even if you can't walk the red carpet in person."
Kariya, sitting at the other end of the sofa, cut in after Shinji had spent so long talking with Derek Ford.
Shinji replied disdainfully, "There's no fun in watching it on TV. They won't broadcast any wardrobe malfunctions."
"Hey, Rin's here."
Kariya gave Rin an awkward glance.
"It's fine, Uncle Kariya. I'm used to Shinji's habit of never having anything decent to say."
Rin smiled and said without the slightest mercy, "He's just jealous because he isn't qualified to walk the red carpet."
"Tch. I'm the director behind the scenes. What use is walking the red carpet?"
"If you acted in FSN, why aren't you an actor?"
Rin crossed her black-stockinged legs and continued teasing him smugly, resting her chin on her hand.
"You said it yourself: the moment someone stands in front of a camera, they're an actor. That's professional ethics."
Rin's words made the corner of Shinji's mouth twitch violently.
Kariya nodded along, egging them on. "Shinji, just admit you're jealous. Your uncle here won't go around telling everyone."
Shinji was used to his uncle's shamelessly unreasonable behavior and didn't mind. He simply made a note of it.
Go ahead and keep it up. Just wait until we make FZ, if it ever falls into my hands.
As he leisurely sipped his coffee, Shinji occasionally glanced at the TV, which was showing the red-carpet arrivals.
Today marked the opening of the 56th Cannes Film Festival. Since the FSN Film Crew, led by Shinji, had no name to speak of, they hadn't received invitations to the opening red carpet.
But Shinji and the others hadn't planned to buy their way onto the red carpet anyway. Instead of doing something so pointless, they might as well sit together at the hotel and have tea.
Ah, no. Coffee.
The only one who couldn't drink coffee was Waver. He was busy handling all sorts of trivial matters and making the final preparations for FSN's festival screening.
It wasn't as if Mr. Second Zhuge would work overtime until he died, so Shinji hadn't even considered giving him time off.
"There's nothing to regret. These actresses aren't as pretty as the female Mages who proposed to him at the Clock Tower. Waver definitely won't be disappointed."
Holding his coffee, Shinji began rating the actresses on the screen.
He was telling the truth. The actresses on the screen were beautiful, but since he spent every day around top-tier beauties, he felt no desire at all.
Putting aside their figures, not one of these actresses was as beautiful as Artoria.
As for why he'd chosen Artoria as an example... Well, the part people "put aside" when they said that was usually the most important.
"Shinji, you'd better not talk so frivolously," Rin interjected, unable to hold back. "I don't know whether female Mages are pretty, but I do know we can fight."
"..."
The look on Shinji's face perfectly captured the meaning of, "You make a good point. I have no reply."
At Rin's reminder, Shinji realized that the female Mages he knew really were good fighters. It made him wonder whether hand-to-hand combat was standard for modern female Mages.
There was Rin, who knew Baji Quan, and Chloe, who had knocked Shinji himself flat with a single move a few days ago. And Sakura was no slouch either.
Shinji would never forget the sight of Sakura lifting a suitcase with one hand that he couldn't even raise with both.
Even Irisviel, who looked harmless, was someone that even Kiritsugu, the mercenary himself, wouldn't dare mess with.
"Do you think developing Magic Circuits makes female Mages prettier? If so, female Mages have a bright future as actresses."
Knowing he was hopeless in a fistfight, Shinji quickly changed the subject under Rin's pressure.
"I do agree with that."
Derek Ford slowly nodded. He said with pained indignation, "Ah, actresses these days have no originality at all. They never think about improving their acting. They're always trying to get ahead by taking their clothes off. Do they think they can win Best Actress just by stripping?"
"Pfft..."
Hearing the old man put it so bluntly, Shinji nearly spat out his coffee.
Rin: So It's Another Mess You Caused, Shinji! — Chapter 35
When Derek Ford talked about taking clothes off, he certainly didn't mean actresses using their bodies to bribe the judges. He was complaining about the increasingly frequent nude scenes in European art films.
After all, European art films... Well, you know.
There were genuinely pure art films like Roma, but the prevailing trend was films that claimed to be art while showing off "the art of the female body."
"Hmph. A den of demons."
Rin let out a cold snort. As a girl, she disliked that sort of thing even more.
"I don't know whether those people can win awards," Shinji said, wagging a finger as he teased her, "but at least they got the female lead by taking their clothes off."
"You're pretty mean."
Rin put down her book and chimed in. "So our Director Matou wants to change the state of the entertainment industry and show them all by winning an award with his own film?"
At that, Shinji slapped his thigh and burst into a near-maniacal laugh.
"Win an award? Not a chance!"
The professional reviews from Japan had already made it clear just how thoroughly FSN had been panned by critics. Shinji wasn't a masochist, so he had no intention of humiliating himself at the festival.
That was why FSN had only applied for a screening and hadn't entered the competition.
Applying for an award cost money, after all. Shinji wasn't going to hand over cash to the French—who had already had their fill of fleecing people—for a chance of winning that was less than 0.00001%.
Rin looked baffled by Shinji's sudden fit of madness. Kariya, who had spent a long time in the film industry, guessed what Shinji was thinking.
"Our FSN is only screening here. It hasn't entered the competition, so it can't have anything to do with the awards."
After explaining that to Rin, Kariya turned and asked Shinji, "But you've seen the list of competing films, right? With your eye as a director, who do you think has the best chance of winning the Palme d'Or?"
"The Palme d'Or?" Shinji shook his head. "How would I know?"
Those were Shinji's sincere feelings. He genuinely had no idea who would win the Palme d'Or this year.
If it had been the 55th Cannes Film Festival last year, Shinji would have bet on Roman Polanski's The Pianist without hesitation.
That film was so famous that anyone with even a passing interest in cinema would know it had won awards all over the world.
But the 56th Cannes Film Festival this year...
Sorry, Shinji had hardly any memories of it.
His only memory of this festival was that The Matrix Reloaded had once screened there outside the competition.
But in this world, he didn't even know whether The Matrix series existed on paper.
No, there was one more thing.
"I really didn't expect him to attend this festival as a judge."
Seeing the man on the TV screen walking down the red carpet, Shinji glanced at old Mr. Derek Ford beside him.
Zhang Mafei and little angel Bernard—the Cannes Film Festival had brought together two of the three great cultural heritage icons of the Chinese internet. If the organizers could invite the one with the map for a head, they'd have a full set.
Unfortunately, Shinji was probably the only one who understood the joke right now.
Although seeing Director Jiang's face made Shinji feel a little nostalgic, he had no intention of going over to chat with him.
Their standings in the industry were too far apart at the moment. They wouldn't have much to talk about.
He could always go speak with him later, when he was ready to expand into the Chinese market.
With the end of the red-carpet ceremony, the Cannes Film Festival officially began.
With Waver, a reliable assistant, handling the preparations for FSN's screening, Shinji had surprisingly little work to do once the festival started.
So, with time on his hands, Shinji simply wandered around the festival, taking the chance to experience a world-class film festival for himself.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a single familiar film at this year's Cannes Film Festival, which left him a little disappointed.
The longer Shinji wandered around the festival, the more he realized he could guess what kind of film was showing just by looking at the length of the line outside the cinema, without even checking the poster.
If there was almost no line, it was either a documentary or a very pure art film.
If there was a line, but it wasn't very long, the film was usually about a current social issue, such as Elephant, based on a real school shooting.
And the theaters with long queues outside were showing films about "the art of the female body," or at least films with similar scenes.
Before you continue