Don't Call Me Master, Call Me Director

The processing fee for that kind of pass was higher, costing nearly ten thousand euros per card, or so I heard.

This made Shinji have to sigh at how shrewd these French people were; they knew exactly who to fleece.

In fact, compared to other newcomers attending the film festival, the FSN Film Crew had spent relatively little. This was thanks to the meticulous Waver, who found an old man from Britain to guide them.

Thanks to this industry veteran, Derek Ford, Shinji had saved a lot of money that would have otherwise been wasted.

His name might sound unfamiliar to many, but he was widely known for playing Bernard Woolley in the Yes, Minister series—though this wrinkled old man had since transformed from an "angelic youth" into an "elderly angel."

In this Type-Moon parallel world, Derek Ford was not only an actor but also a Mage from the Clock Tower.

The more Shinji understood this world, the more he felt that its current, somewhat bizarre entertainment industry was a reflection of someone's personal preferences.

What had been fully "preserved" were basically the types of media they favored, such as tokusatsu, horror films, mecha anime, and various British dramas.

Not only did the most classic version of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes survive, but even Yes, Minister, a piece of intangible cultural heritage, had been saved.

Shinji himself was very happy about this; he had loved Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister for two lifetimes now.

Unfortunately, the actor who played Shinji's favorite character, Sir Humphrey, from the trio, Mr. Hawthorne, had passed away in 2001, which Shinji deeply regretted.

"Mr. Hawthorne was the most dedicated actor I've ever met. Even after a season of the TV series finished airing, he could still recite all his lines without a single mistake."

Sitting in the living room of his hotel room, Shinji held a cup of coffee and chatted with Derek Ford about amusing anecdotes from the days they filmed the TV series.

Upon hearing Derek Ford's praise for his idol, Shinji raised an eyebrow and asked, "Did that include the long, complicated sentences too?"

"Of course."

Derek Ford blinked, revealing a standard Bernard-esque smile.

Shinji tilted his head back and sighed, "That's amazing. I wish my actors could be like that."

After speaking, Shinji glanced at Young Lady Tohsaka, who was sitting in a corner reading a book.

She had just arrived in Cannes yesterday and was the only actor from FSN who came to the film festival to promote the movie.

It wasn't that Master Shinji didn't want to invite more actors, but the lead actor Shirou's English was completely inadequate, Kirei Kotomine was a religious figure and it was inconvenient, the Heroic Spirits couldn't leave Fuyuki City, and the remaining actors had somewhat awkward roles in the film.

So, in the end, only Young Lady Rin came.

Fortunately, Rin had timed her arrival to not interfere with her studies, arriving in France a few days after Shinji and the others, thus avoiding Chloe.

Otherwise, the "farce" at the airport earlier would likely have been even more lively.

Rin snorted impatiently upon hearing Shinji's sigh.

"Shinji, are you asking us in wheelchairs to race against Ferraris? Isn't that embarrassing enough for the Ferraris themselves?"

Having been around Shinji for so many years, Rin had picked up quite a bit of witty banter.

After hearing about Old Master Hawthorne's feat, Tohsaka Rin also felt admiration for the actor. Having acted herself, she knew how difficult it was to memorize long lines, let alone deliver them flawlessly and with great performance.

But Tohsaka Rin also believed that there were only a few national treasures like Hawthorne in the world, and they expected a few bronze players to compete with the strongest kings...

"Well, you've actually done very well."

Derek Ford chuckled from the side, "I remember the lead actors in the movie were all complete newcomers, right? Their performance is quite good for a first try. Don't be too harsh on them."

"Not at all, not at all. They're just a few guys who can't even memorize their lines properly."

Shinji shook his head humbly, a smug expression on his face.

"This guy..."

Rin frowned unhappily, then turned her attention back to the book in her hands.

Shinji leaned back on the sofa, slowly savoring his coffee, contemplating the future training direction for his own Heroic Spirits.

With Old Master Hawthorne as a role model, I now know what direction I should train those guys in.

Shinji set a "small goal" for himself and the Heroic Spirits in his mind.

"Achoo!" *7

The seven Heroic Spirits in Fuyuki City sneezed in unison.

"Shinji, you've come all the way to Cannes. Even if you can't walk the red carpet in person, you should at least watch the broadcast."

Kariya, sitting on the other end of the sofa, interjected as Shinji had been talking to Derek Ford for a while.

Shinji replied dismissively, "Watching the TV broadcast is boring. They don't broadcast celebrity wardrobe malfunctions."

"Hey, Rin is still here."

Kariya glanced at Rin with a hint of awkwardness.

"It's fine, Uncle Kariya. I'm already used to Shinji's habit of never saying anything nice."

Rin smiled and said without mercy, "He's just jealous because he doesn't have the qualifications to walk the red carpet."

"Tch, I'm the director behind the scenes. What's the point of walking the red carpet!"

"Since you participated in FSN, aren't you an actor too?"

Rin crossed her legs, clad in black stockings, and smugly pinched her chin, continuing to tease him.

"You said it yourself, the moment someone stands in front of the camera, they are an actor. That's professional ethics."

Master Shinji's mouth twitched violently at Young Lady Rin's words.

Kariya eagerly nodded and egged him on, "Shinji, if you're envious, just say it. Uncle Kariya won't spread it around."

Shinji, accustomed to his uncle's almost unreasonable behavior, didn't mind. He simply made a mental note.

Just keep making a fuss. When FSN is under my control for filming later...

Slowly sipping his coffee, Shinji's eyes occasionally swept over the television screen, which was showing the red carpet segment.

Today was the opening day of the 56th Cannes Film Festival. Due to their lack of fame, FSN, led by Shinji, hadn't received an invitation to the opening red carpet.

However, Shinji and the others had no intention of buying a red carpet spot. Rather than doing something so boring, they'd rather have tea in the hotel.

Ah, no, it was coffee.

The only one who couldn't drink coffee was Waver; he still had to handle various trivial matters and make the final preparations for FSN's screening at the festival.

Since Mr. Zhuge the Second wouldn't die from overwork, Master Shinji never considered giving the man a vacation.

"There's nothing to regret. These female stars aren't as good-looking as the female Mages who proposed to him at the Clock Tower. Waver definitely won't be disappointed."

Shinji, holding his coffee, began commenting on the attractiveness of the actresses on screen.

Second Master was telling the truth. While the stars on screen were beautiful, for him, who was surrounded by top beauties every day, they stirred no desire within him.

Putting aside their figures, none of these actresses' looks could compare to Artoria.

As for why he used Artoria as an example... well, the part that's "put aside" is usually the most important.

"Shinji, you'd better not speak so flippantly," Rin interjected, unable to hold back. "I don't know if female Mages are beautiful, but we can definitely fight."

"..."

The expression on Shinji's face perfectly explained "You make a very good point, and I have nothing to say."

At Rin's reminder, Shinji realized that the female Mages he knew were indeed quite capable fighters, making him wonder if hand-to-hand combat was standard for modern female Mages.

Rin, who knew Bajiquan, and Chloe, who could take down Shinji with one move a few days ago, were one thing. Even Sakura was skilled in this regard.

Shinji could never forget the scene of Sakura lifting a suitcase with one hand that he couldn't even lift with both.

Even Irisviel, who looked harmless, was someone Kiritsugu, the mercenary himself, couldn't afford to offend.

"You guys, is it because women who develop Magic Circuits become more beautiful? Looking at it that way, female Mages have a promising future as actresses."

Knowing he was weak in close combat, Shinji quickly changed the subject under Rin's pressure.

"I agree with that."

Old Master Derek Ford nodded slowly. He said with heartfelt pain, "Alas, these actresses nowadays are so unoriginal. They don't think about improving their acting skills at all and just want to take off their clothes to get ahead. Do they think they can win Best Actress just by taking off their clothes?"

"Pfft..."

Shinji almost spat out the coffee in his mouth upon hearing the old man's blunt statement.

Chapter 35: Rin: This is another mess you caused, Shinji!

What Derek Ford meant by taking off clothes wasn't about actresses bribing judges with their bodies, but rather complaining about the increasing number of nude scenes in current European art films.

After all, European art films... those who know, know.

Although there were pure art films like Roma, the current environment was filled with films that, under the guise of art, displayed "female nude art."

"Hmph, a chaotic dance."

Young Lady Rin let out a cold snort. As a girl, she hated this situation even more.

"I don't know if these people will win awards," Shinji teased, wagging a finger. "But they've at least gotten the lead actress roles by taking off their clothes."

"You're quite harsh."

Rin, putting down her book, chimed in, "It seems our Director Shinji intends to change the status quo of the entertainment industry and win an award to show them, doesn't he?"

Hearing this, Master Shinji slapped his thigh and let out a laugh that was almost insane.

"Win an award? Win my ass!"

Given how thoroughly FSN had been panned by professional critics in Japan, Master Shinji, who had no masochistic tendencies, had no intention of humiliating himself at the film festival.

Therefore, FSN had only applied for exhibition, not for the competition.

Applying for awards cost money, and Shinji wasn't about to pay to submit FSN for an award with a less than 0.00001% chance of winning. It was basically giving free money to the French who had already milked them dry.

Rin felt a hint of confusion at Shinji's erratic behavior. Kariya, who had been in the film industry for a while, guessed Shinji's thoughts.

"Our FSN is only for exhibition; it's not in the competition, so it can't be related to the awards."

After explaining to Rin, Kariya turned to Shinji and asked, "But you must have seen the list of competing films, right? With your director's eye, who do you think is most likely to win the Palme d'Or?"

"Palme d'Or?" Shinji shook his head. "How would I know?"

This was Master Shinji's honest opinion; he truly didn't know who would win the Palme d'Or this year.

If it were last year's 55th Cannes Film Festival, Master Shinji would have bet on Roman Polanski's The Pianist without hesitation.

That film was too famous; anyone with even a little knowledge of film would know it had won countless awards worldwide.

As for this year's 56th Cannes...

Sorry, Shinji didn't have much of an impression left in his memory.

Shinji's only memory of this film festival was that The Matrix Reloaded had been screened there as a non-competition entry.

But in this world, it wasn't even certain if the Matrix film series existed on paper.

No, there should be one more.

"I really didn't expect him to attend this film festival as a judge."

Seeing the man walking the red carpet on the television screen, Shinji glanced at Old Man Derek Ford beside him.

Zhang Mafei and Little Angel Bernard—this Cannes Film Festival had actually gathered two of the three intangible cultural heritages of the Chinese internet. If the organizers could invite that map-headed guy, wouldn't it be a grand slam?

It was a pity that, besides Shinji, no one else would probably understand this joke now.

Although seeing Director Jiang's face made Master Shinji feel a sense of familiarity, Second Master had no intention of chatting with Director Jiang.

The gap in their industry status was too large right now; they wouldn't have anything to talk about.

It wouldn't be too late to communicate with him later when he planned to develop in the China market.

As the red carpet ceremony concluded, the Cannes Film Festival officially began.

With Waver, a trustworthy helper, preparing the FSN screening, Shinji himself didn't have much work to do after the festival started.

So, with his free time, Master Shinji simply wandered around the film festival, experiencing a world-class film festival firsthand.

Unfortunately, Shinji really couldn't find any movies he was familiar with at this Cannes Film Festival, which left Second Master feeling a bit regretful.

The longer he spent wandering around the film festival, the more Shinji realized he could guess the type of movie being shown just by looking at the length of the queue outside the cinema, without even looking at the posters.

The ones with almost no queues were either documentaries or very pure art films.

There were queues, but not very long ones, for most films discussing social hot topics, such as Elephant, which was adapted from a real campus shooting case.

Finally, the theaters with long queues at the entrance were showing films featuring female nude art, or at least films with similar scenes.